Trying to date a girl whos friend is persuading her to avoid me, is it possible or a lost cause?

[timble9]

This girl I'm currently interested in, lets call her G and I have a mutual friend who I'll call S. A few months back, S and I use to be pretty close friends. But it turned out that she had a crush on me (I didn't know this, I thought we were just mates and never even flirted with her) and went completely bonkers when she found out I was sleeping with another girl who I'm now no longer seeing. We're part of the same social circle and she has since started ignoring me completely, being very nasty and just generally petty.

I met G a few weeks ago at a party and we got on very well.  A group of her friends were planning on going camping and she reached out to me and invited me along. We had some flirty banter over text, but then she just went cold and nothing ever eventuated. I then found out from one of my mates that S and G actually know each other quite well and were good friends. S had been talking about me to G, telling her to avoid me because I was an a**h***, was currently sleeping with several different girls at once etc. which isn't true, I'm not currently seeing anyone. 

Is there any point in even trying to pursue anything with G when this other girl is in her ear badmouthing me? I know this seems like some schoolyard drama that I shouldn't be dealing with, but I live in a very small town. I don't even know how to approach this situation, I'm really interested in G but feel like she now has a wall up because of the rumours that have been spread. 

[assertives]

Sounds like the well is already poisoned and there is not much you can do about it especially since she has gone cold on you. Also consider if anything actually develops, her friend will still be around and could still constantly be in her ear about you. I'd say move on since nothing actually ever started with this girl.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, timble9 said:

I then found out from one of my mates that S and G actually know each other quite well and were good friends. S had been talking about me to G, telling her to avoid me because I was an a**h***, was currently sleeping with several different girls at once etc. I'm really interested in G but feel like she now has a wall up because of the rumours that have been spread. 

Sorry this is happening. How do you know what they are talking about? This seems like a lot of gossip and hearsay. At any rate if somehow you developed a bad reputation among this group of women, date elsewhere.

[timble9]

54 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How do you know what they are talking about? This seems like a lot of gossip and hearsay. At any rate if somehow you developed a bad reputation among this group of women, date elsewhere.

It is just gossip and hearsay, but I live in a small town where people all know each other! I got the information from my friend who is dating a girl who is also friends with both the girls I'm talking of.

In any case, I've decided I'm just going to try message G again and ask her out. If she says no or ignores me then I'll just move on, I figure I don't really have anything to lose. 

[ShyViolet]

There's nothing you can do about it... you can't control what her friends may say about you.  All you can do is be yourself and make an honest attempt to ask her out.  If she isn't interested, then leave her alone and move on.

[stillafool]

You should just contact G and ask her out.  If she declines ask her is it because of something S has told her and then explain what happened between S and you.  Tell her you weren't interested in S but are very interested in her.   Ask her to give you a chance.   That is all you can do.  If she still declines then keep going to the social activities and look really handsome.  S is just jealous because you don't want her.

[smackie9]

Me personally hate drama and wouldn't even make an attempt. If they didn't know each other that would be a different story. Let them keep their friendship. Plenty of hassle free girls out there to date.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, timble9 said:

In any case, I've decided I'm just going to try message G again and ask her out. If she says no or ignores me then I'll just move on, I figure I don't really have anything to lose. 

True. You can simply be who you are and try to sidestep whatever reason these others are engaging in gossip.

[stillafool]

3 hours ago, timble9 said:

In any case, I've decided I'm just going to try message G again and ask her out. If she says no or ignores me then I'll just move on, I figure I don't really have anything to lose.

I think this is a good idea.  The girl obviously had interest in you because she extended the invite.  S is sour and will probably try to block any girl in that group from getting with you due to her bitterness.  Completely ignore S from now on.

[glows]

If G is smart enough she’ll figure out why S is behaving the way she is and meddling. If G can’t figure it out, she’s not the woman you’d want by your side anyway. 

Sorry you’re in this or dealing with these people.  

[Maldives]

15 hours ago, timble9 said:

This girl I'm currently interested in, lets call her G and I have a mutual friend who I'll call S. A few months back, S and I use to be pretty close friends. But it turned out that she had a crush on me (I didn't know this, I thought we were just mates and never even flirted with her) and went completely bonkers when she found out I was sleeping with another girl who I'm now no longer seeing. We're part of the same social circle and she has since started ignoring me completely, being very nasty and just generally petty.

I met G a few weeks ago at a party and we got on very well.  A group of her friends were planning on going camping and she reached out to me and invited me along. We had some flirty banter over text, but then she just went cold and nothing ever eventuated. I then found out from one of my mates that S and G actually know each other quite well and were good friends. S had been talking about me to G, telling her to avoid me because I was an a**h***, was currently sleeping with several different girls at once etc. which isn't true, I'm not currently seeing anyone. 

Is there any point in even trying to pursue anything with G when this other girl is in her ear badmouthing me? I know this seems like some schoolyard drama that I shouldn't be dealing with, but I live in a very small town. I don't even know how to approach this situation, I'm really interested in G but feel like she now has a wall up because of the rumours that have been spread. 

I would at least approach this girl. G and tell her that what you're supposed friend has said is incorrect and false and tell her that you will leave it Up to her to continue with you. At least that way you've cleared the air from your end.