No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[JFReyes]

J,

 

I hope you're doing well.

[Erlaad]

Hi S,

so, here we are again. Seven years have passed, more or less - I don't really care for precision right now.

 

Am I still here, are you wondering? I guess so. I'm not really sure about this, but I think that you're still haunting me. Remember when we told each other that we were each other's curse? I guess I kind of jinxed it.

 

I want to think that you are holding me back, but that would be a lie. You're living your life and I don't know anything about it. It was my call to cut all contact with you, reasons for which are not important now, so this is a bed I made for myself. I did it with the best intentions: we were hurting each other all the time, we were unable to communicate, even in sex I felt we were guilty. Come on, we didn't share anything.

 

We started growing apart when you started the university. I guess it's natural, for I also changed a lot in that time. But I'm here on this forum because I have to admit that I'm still emotionally attached to us. There, I said it. I'm not sure I am emotionally attached to you - I don't know you anymore. I'm bound to the past, to the feeling of you loving me, to the feeling of longing for each other. Probably, my brain is still wired to crave for the drama and fight we created in each other's life. It's sad but it is the way it is. I can't find any other explanation for my pining.

 

I think I sabotaged almost every relationship I had after ours. Probably ours as well. I couldn't stand it, but I thought about you for so much time, even when I was with others. And it's time to face this. I don't know if my thought were lust, love, anger, nostaglia or a mix of all this - what I know is that they held me back. They blocked from being the best "me" with any other girl I was after you.

 

Mind you, they were not the only factor. In this period I'm coming to face many of my shortcomings that before I refused to admit or to deal with. I won't go into the details now, but it's strongly connected to emotions, self-worth and lazyness. What I want not is to be free. Even if it means I have to accept that you moved on from on.

 

I can't pine for you forever. I can't have my mind waiting for miracles to happen for the rest of my life. Wonderful opportunities pass by me, terrific people I let go because my heart simply can't accept that the love we had has now taken a different from and will not return the way it was.

 

I can't live in the past, this I know. So I have to let you go. I decide to let you go. I don't know how I'll make it, but I promise myself I'll let you go. For us, but must importantly for me.

 

Goodbye, my dear. You'll always hold a place in my heart. I'll always, unconditionally love you. But I have to move on.

 

I wish us all the best.

With love,

S

[howwie324]

Another Thursday, another crappy day. I'm in the office today, I'm not sure if you're in or not. I'm forcing myself not to look to see if your car is here. What does it matter? You've made it clear you don't want to talk to me. I know that if I run in to you, you will probably ignore me, just like you are. I know it's better this way, I know we both need to heal. This is time to heal, but I just want to tell you so many things. I miss our communication. I miss having a constant friend to talk to. I know we can't go back to where we were before. I see how there were things about us that had become, if not "broken" then not right. I want to work on those things, but you don't want to talk. I'm not sure what I did wrong, if anything. Maybe you are just taking this time off to heal the hurt feelings too. That's what I'm hoping. But should I hope? What if a month goes by and you still don't contact me? What if I reach out to you then and you still ignore me? I know I have to move on, but something tells me this was right for us, and it's worth holding on to, even if only for a few more weeks. I hope it's not all in vain. I'm sure once I have decided that it's time to give up completely, you will then want to be my friend ... but I'm not sure I can ever give up completely until I fall in love again.

[K2z]

How could you POSSIBLY do this? We are barely 6 months separated and you post wedding photos of you with this Euro schlub, bog standard cookie press man du jour.

 

How could you possibly be willing to marry in six months? How could you possibly place that credibility in someone else, after all I said to you?

 

I feel so lied to and betrayed. I feel like my entire chest and guts have been cleared out with an ice cream scoop.

 

How is it so easy for you? Was I so replaceable?

 

My life feels over. Thanks.

 

My heart. My heart. My heart is over. Any pain I offered you has returned to me 10X.

[Harradin]

On Wednesday when you drove past me, I'd taken the wrong turning leaving the supermarket. Typical that I take the wrong turn then see you drive up and past me.

 

The second time you saw me on Wednesday, you kept your distance... for once.

 

The girl I'm seeing arrived 5 minutes after you left, I wanted to see for myself if you got jealous, your housemate who keeps me updated has said that he didn't see anything that night or said anything about me since.

 

I'm not curious because I still have feelings for you, I'm just curious to know why you're jealous when you rejected me as you only see me as a friend.

[Perro_azul]

Today is day 14 of my lame NC. It is lame because we work together and have to interact sometimes. The past few days I had this obsessive desire to send him the "i miss you" text. Every night, I'm battling with myself, today I even picked up the phone and almost did it, but stopped. God, it's like quitting smoking. You sit there and you bargain with yourself: one last time, just this one time I'm gonna do it and then I'm done. F***ing addiction. Today is also hard because lately he made some movements which I don't know how to interpret: he changed his background pic on FB to the one I took during our vacation abroad. He complimented me on my shoes after seeing me at work. He reached out twice and went out of his way to come talk to me at work about work-related issues. I'm such an overanalyzer. I guess these "movements" made me think maybe he misses me. Last night I had a very vivid dream about him. We were hugging and saying our goodbyes, I was crying and I knew in my dream that I would never see him again...

 

So I'm here now, sitting and typing this instead of typing "I really miss you a lot". I just keep telling myself that he knows how much I miss him, he knows I care about him.

[Skullheart]

Man, where do I even being? It's been about a month and a half I think since you dropped me for him and 17 days since we last spoke.

 

Honestly I should hate and despise you for just throwing me away like a cigarette butt and instantly replacing me with the "He's just a friend" guy. I loved you with all my heart and you couldn't even find it in your self to try and fix things between us, you just jumped from one branch to another. You made me feel like ****, you made me feel unwanted, you made me feel like I am nothing. Yet, I still find myself sitting here wanting you back, still in love with you. I guess spending two and a half years together meant a hell of a lot more to me than it did to you.

 

I have no trust in you anymore but I still find myself in a position to take you back if you ever did come back and I don't understand why. I should hate you with ever fiber of my being but yet I still ****ing love you.

[K2z]

I don't even have the option of contacting you anymore, on ANY pretext. Your wedding pix went up on Facebook on Wednesday, and for perhaps the first time since I was six years old, I sobbed to my Mommy. I phoned her and woke her up, and forwarded the pictures along, and sobbed in giant chest heaves until I could not breathe.

 

Why did you marry the first guy that came along? Why did you give up all hope on me? Was my credibility so destroyed with you? Were you so emotionally neutralized that you could replace me like a Lego block?

 

I am walking in a nuclear winter, and my friends are growing weary of my inability to exit this depression. I drink way, way, too much. There is no reconciliation scenario. There is no undoing what's done. Your final emails insisting we could be "very good friends" are a profound insult to my dignity and feel like icepicks in my heart.

[LostInNC]

Today has been a really hard day without you here. I miss talking to you most of all. The conversations we would have, our 5 or 6 phone calls a day to each other and watching silly videos as we laid in bed. After 7 and a half years for us to still be best friends was great. You were the person I wanted to talk to each morning and the last person in the evenings.

 

I thought you felt the same but it was a shock when I came home and you were gone. Quit your job and moved 1200 miles away. You changed your number, you are not on any social media and I have no way to contact you at all. I don't even have anything bad to focus on, I have no arguments to blame, I have no fighting to blame, you never gave any indication you were unhappy. You even offered to warm up my car the morning you left. You just left without a note, goodbye or nothing.

 

I miss the sound of your voice......

[Harradin]

I don't believe in coincidences, nor do I believe in fate. Which is probably why I probably had a look of shock on my face when I nipped to the local shop, walked round the corner to join the queue and ended up face-to-face with you. You didn't bat an eyelid at me staring at you in shock, you had a blank expression on your face, your eyes didn't reveal anything. You merely nodded, but I turned and walked away so I didn't see anything else.

 

I was in a good mood S, I was thinking about J, the girl who I'm seeing atm and I had just finished training and needed to grab a couple of things. I saw you and my whole world closed in on me, I had to go to the other side of the shop to calm down and wait until you were a big distance away from me.

 

It took me 20 minutes for my heart to stop racing, I should be feeling this about J not you. I want my full attention to be on J, a girl who likes me romantically, not on you as you rejected me.

 

I saw you for a few seconds, it felt like 5 minutes. Some part of me wanted you to stop and say something, I don't know why as I don't think it would have made any difference.

[Xiomn]

I see you're still on your path of destruction, getting into a new rebound relationship almost every month, what is it now, 3 guys already and you only broke up with me in July. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Absolutely hilarious. Calm the **** down woman.

[LLQ1986]

2 weeks into NC, I broke it by sending you a text message yesterday.

 

I asked you not to contact me anymore before as I needed time and space to heal. I got the urge to talk to you everyday but I somehow managed not to, though feeling absolutely crappy.

 

Yesterday, my heart was pounding extremely fast when I sent you that message and you replied 'hi' hours later.

 

We actually had a decent conversation; I said If it's not too awkward I wanted us to be friends again and you agreed.

 

I ended the conversation by saying it's been great talking to you and we shall talk soon.

 

I felt sick this morning... couldn't drag myself out of the bed. I felt like I've committed a sin.

 

I read something funny on the internet just now and I forwarded it to you just like what we usually did.

 

I don't think I can talk to you for awhile now cause it's making me feeling really ****ty.

[K2z]

Your final emails said you would "never forget" our times together and that you "love me forever."

 

Well, you don't get that privilege. Forget me. Forget me in your thoughts as quickly as your behavior has demonstrated.

 

You don't deserve these memories, you betrayer.

 

I wish I had never met you in the first place, and I will forget you if it takes my entire spirit.

 

I am not some bauble to keep on your dresser. I was going to be your life partner. I'm no keepsake for you to wistfully invoke while you put on your makeup. Forget me, delete me, and never tread in my consciousness again.

[Stressed_26]

I can't believe how well you played me. You kept playing me, and I had the smug that I am not falling for you. I was always worried that if this relationship does not reach the logical outcome you will get hurt, and I was telling myself there is no way I can hurt you. Little did I realise that you blindsided me and hurt me in the worst possible way.

 

Why did you do this to me ? why me ? there are many guys in the world and you picked me for this ? I can't believe how cold hearted and brutal you turned out to be. Remember how did I treat you in the good and bad times and how are you behaving ?

sometimes all this seems to be illusion. I still can't believe that you could be this person, you could be the one to cheat, to lie, to hurt and to turn brutal. How could I trust you, how I was so foolish.

While I am hurting here you are enjoying with your new partner. How unfair.

[Harradin]

Seeing you 2 days ago is still bothering me. Unrequited love really sucks.

[K2z]

Please tell me this is not true. Please say there is a wormhole I can step through and emerge a year earlier, when you didn't go away and marry someone I think you may have never met until five months earlier.

 

I was the biggest fool in the world. You tried to warn me. We had communication problems.

 

When did you stop believing? When did you fall out of love?

 

The answers are dust in the wind now. There is no point to thinking about you, or us-- and yet it is all I can do. I am a shell of a human; a walking, reminiscing zombie.

[anonymousbear00101100]

I was doing really well all day until I started watching the Office. Jim said "I love being able to look up from my desk and see my wife looking back at me".

 

I remember all of those times we both suddenly just looked at each other from across class, and stared into each others eyes for what seemed like hours.

 

I then listened to a song we used to play together on guitar and cello. I thought of it because the last time we talked you told me it made you "ball your eyes out" since we weren't together anymore. I just started actually paying attention to the lyrics. It's a song about a girl who can't think of why she left her boyfriend and just wants him to call. It was like watching something scary. I just couldn't turn away and for some reason I listened to the whole thing. All day I had felt like "Haha jokes on her, biggest mistake of her life" and now I feel terrible for you and just want to help.

 

That was always my instinct in our relationship. You could't manage your feelings, so I took your feelings on for you. And after our breakup, I'm still doing that for you. I feel sad for you sometimes, and I rarely feel sad for myself. Even when I flirt with other girls, I feel guilty because I know you'd be jealous.

 

We had a lot of great times in our relationships, but also we fought a ton during all of those times. We even fought during sex. I should have broken it off sooner. I was so depressed being with you. I hated waking up to your good morning texts that I didn't want to answer. I'm glad you pulled the plug, because I've been a much better person already, and I'm so excited to see my future. I should have done it, but I guess I was just insecure, because I didn't ever consider my own happiness into the equation of our relationship.

 

It feels so good to be away from that toxicity, but man, times like right now, I just want to tell you that I love you and hold you in my arms. But you know what I'm going to think about instead? My future girlfriend, how I will have someone to do that with in the future.

[Sad26]

All of a sudden I started to feel horrible at work so going home to sleep. It is so unfair. You are enjoying with your new bf and I am crying for you. I can't believe it is one month and you haven't even thought once of me. How can you breakup over a text message. Why did we ever meet. Why did you do this to me. Why this happened to me again. I can't take this pain anymore.

[Ace799]

God, you do not understand how happy I am, I got a unconditional offer from one of the uni's I really did want to go to and honestly i'm going to it no matter what happens, honestly i'm so ****ing happy without you.

Edited November 26, 2015 by Ace799

[JFReyes]

Seeing you 2 days ago is still bothering me. Unrequited love really sucks.

 

I understand completely. I saw my dumper ex girlfriend for the first time in 2 years on Thanksgiving Day. I was walking with my new love and she was driving, but we acknowledged each other. I reckon it was harder on her because she's still alone. Such is life...

[kiki2015]

Dear Ex,

 

You've just emailed me again, and no, I'm not emailing you back!

[ChinadolI]

Hi Dear,

 

It's been three long days since you told me that you are now involved with someone else. Back in June when you decided to move out and took the break from our 17 years relationship, you told me you wanted to leave to find yourself and you didn't love me anymore. Although being so hurt, I had been supportive of you, hoping you would be able to sort issues out and work on our relationship problems. I never expected you actually found yourself in someone else's arms so quickly. The fact that you said you didn't expect it either hurts more as that's clearly a lie. It wouldn't have happened if you didn't make eye contact and it wouldn't have happened if you didn't have her contact details. It wouldn't have happened if you didn't take the step to visit her.

 

That is my bottom line.

 

I was able to remain friends because I believed you. How silly was I. I can not be your friend and no I won't apologize for it. We have a child together and I can avoid contact, but from now on, I will not tell you how my day has been. I will not tell you what I have for lunch. I will not tell you I'm wearing your favourite dress today. I will not tell you your voice still makes me skip a heartbeat after 17 years. I will not tell you I long for your cuddles. I will not tell you I miss your smell. I will not tell you thinking of your kisses makes me weak. I will not tell you that I'm as much in love with you as when I first saw you.

 

We were best friends for the last 17 years and as a matter of fact, I was your only friend. I thought my love for you would have been good enough as you had always said that no one in this world truly loved you except me, your family included. I had always been there when you had your ups and when you had your downs. Our relationship and our little family had meant so much to me.

 

You write it off like it was a piece of crap.

 

I know I'm better without you. I know one day I will get over you. I know one day I will be indifferent of you. I just don't know when.

 

And right now, I miss you so much and I'm so jealous of your new love. My heart aches so much that I almost can't breath. I really need you by my side, hold me and comfort me, telling me how much you've missed me and how much you love me. Please come back.

[Harradin]

I was in a pretty crappy mood yesterday, training was sh*t. Started to cheer up on the way home chatting with friends, we popped into the local shop, walked out and I was faced with your car right in front of me. Just what I needed, these coincidences are getting ridiculous.

 

Its alright as when I got home, I phoned up the girl I'm seeing and cheered up and completely forgot about you.

 

Oh it was your birthday yesterday, I don't really care tbh.

[Chronotrgr]

3 months a go you broke up with me and kicked me out, you put me through hell throughout, I came back and against the better side of myself that told me it would happen again, and I would be heartbroken again, I trusted you, I've been scared to death of you and your irrational mind, I haven't been able to open up, I've had to stay quiet and keep myself to myself just to please you because when I open up, you retaliate with hate.

 

Your son is the hardest piece of work I've ever come across, he clearly has problems, he defies you and you have no control over him, your stressed and your lacking sleep, but you haven't done anything to help the situation, instead you'll take it out on me and in some cases, even blame me for it, but he has always been this way since I have known you, I pointed out way back then the signs of ADHD and the importance of getting on top of it early on but you ignored me and now you have a very difficult child on your back who you struggle to even get dressed, shower etc, I can't take blame for that, neither can he, its your responsibility to make these things happen, I can only keep my mouth shut and keep my nose out of it like you told me to.

 

I can't be blamed for the stresses of your life, not when I have been caught between you and your exes more times than I would like to remember, I walked in to an extremely difficult and messed up situation which has only improved in this last month or 2, considering we have been together since August of last year, you have to recognise that its a long time for your partner to be stressed out like this.

 

Things have been very difficult since I have come back, I have been on edge watching my every step feeling like just one step out of line could mean its over again and I'm out on my ass again, this feeling of anxiety has made me a nervous wreck, and it was all for nothing anyway because all it took was one argument for you to kick me out, one argument over me being bed ridden with the flu, you allowed 3 kids to run around the house screaming and shouting, kids are kids but when someone is bed ridden with the flu its very unfair to allow that to happen.

 

I went off to the supermarket half dead because there was no medicine in the house, I felt dead and when I come back I find you have bolted the door and contacted my mum and step dad telling them I am going to be staying there tonight and refused to let me in, even though my mum and step dad weren't at home and I had nowhere to go, I feel distraught thinking of that because its such a cruel thing to do to someone who is so sick especially when its bitterly cold, icy wind and raining outside, anybody would think you was Assad's wife.

 

Starting tomorrow I have to start couch surfing until I get my own place again, and that's really a horrible thing of you to do to me but here's what I don't understand not that I understand this situation anyway (your ****ing nuts!) You want to live apart but remain together, what!?, are you joking? You can't be serious? Surely?.

 

Why would I want you after this? Who would want you after this? Who could trust you after this let alone retain feelings of affection for you after this?, you claim I'm the problem and yes I can accept responsibility for problems I gave made as I always have, now what about you? Where's your admittance to the problems you've caused? Where's your remorse?, you haven't tried, I've barely even seen you the rate at which you stay at family member's, when your child is back from his dads, he requires all your attention, I feel that effort for any real quality time together hasn't been there, that was need you haven't met, I haven't seen an effort from you, not even a minimal effort, its like you just don't care.

 

Despite all of this I have tried and despite wanting to speak out I have kept it to myself, I just can't do that anymore, its a shame, really, if you could just relax, stop picking at everything I do and over thinking everything, we could be happy and find ways to move on, despite everything from 3 months back, I put it behind me and moved on, you haven't done that, and if you want to live in a state of bitterness then do that but I won't be around to hear about it and after being hurt and messed around like this, I won't be here regardless, I've told you to fight or you'll lose me for good, you have ignored me since and left me to feel upset with no outlet, this tells me you don't care, and though I am not an entitled person I at least have to say I don't deserve this poor treatment.

 

Please, leave me alone after this, let me repair myself and move on in peace, its the very least you could do for me, nothing.

[Tone Loc]

Dear you

 

I miss you terribly. I think about you every single day. I will never forget about you. I've broken nearly all of the promises I've made to you, but what still remains true is the fact that I will love you forever and that I will never forget about you. You will always be in my thoughts and on my mind. I sincerely wish that you get over me one day, I sincerely wish that you get your life on track. I want you to do well at university, I want you to achieve the career that you desire. I want you to find happiness. I hope one day you find a man who deserves you and who fulfils your needs. I hope one day you stop feeling empty, sad, miserable, anxious, tentative and demotivated. I just love you so much, I hope you'll be strong and not contact me again. Move forward with your life. I never knew what to say to you, you deserve so much more than what I provided for you. I miss you very much. I miss your beautiful face and your wonderful smile. I miss talking to you and sitting down with you. You made me so happy, happier than I have ever felt in my life. I'm sorry for everything, I hope you're alright. I will always love you.