No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[SalientPoint]

I don't know why you left. You wouldn't tell me. You also didn't really leave, as in you'll text me back if I ask you how you're doing, with some variation of that you're depressed. I know you are. I saw your score on the app, and I saw your arm. I get that you can't talk about it to me for some reason, and I hate, hate hate, how I'm being selfish and making this about me when you're in pain, but I also hate how you cut me out of your life in the face of trauma. I hate how I got cut out, and she's there supporting you. I hate how it was NOT supposed to be this way. Not now, not like this. I hate how I have your christmas present in the corner of the room, and how I'll be going to the airport tomorrow alone, when I know you would have taken me had whatever happened to you, not had happened. I hate how I have no clue what happened, but how I assume it was something terrible.

 

Good thing I deleted all possible traces of your number, because I would So text you right now. And I'd probably beg you to tell me why you left and what happened to you. I'd probably make it about me and say I don't want to leave like this, I don't want to get on a plane and go to another continent for three weeks not having any idea what happened to you and why it made you not want to see or talk to me. I don't know if you'll ever tell me. I'm sorry you're traumatized, people deal with that in different ways, but after 10 months did you really have to cut me out with no explanation? I hate how I can't even be mad at you for that.

 

I also hate how maybe someday I'll have to make a decision based on what happened to you, if you ever tell me, if I can ever be friends or speak to you again. I see my Mom twice a year and this year will be a **** visit because this happened two weeks before X-mas and I still feel like a wreck.

 

I hope you recover from whatever happened, but I think regardless, if you can cut me out like this, you and are I probably through forever. And I hate that too.

[Cora]

You and your new girlfriend look so happy together from the pictures I saw. It makes me sad to think that we never took any pictures together. Come to think of it, their was a lot that you and I did not do that you and your new girlfriend have done and are doing. I guess I just don't understand how things seemed to be so great between us and you seemed so happy when you were around me, but yet you so suddenly went off and fell in love with someone else. Was what we had not special to you at all? Does your new girlfriend have something that I don't? It hurts me so bad to know that I was never enough for you. All I ever wanted was to be your everything like you were mine. Tears are flooding my eyes as I write this. The memories we shared are still fresh in my mind while you are busy making new memories with your new love. I can't seem to get over you no matter how hard I try. I don't think you can begin to understand just how much I truly loved and adored you. I recently got a new job and unfortunately my route to work now takes me right by the coffee shoppe we first met at and the restaurant where we had dinner on New Year's Eve and shared our first kiss just outside. It was such a magical night for me. As I drove by early this morning, "I Miss You" by Adele was playing in my car and a tear ran down my cheek. My thoughts raced back to all the memories we shared. I couldn't help it. I only wish you could help me understand and provide me with some closure, but I guess I will never get that. I kept a journal, writing about each and every one of our dates from the very first moment we met. I bet you didn't know that did you? Well the journal entries stopped when you left. I can't even bring myself to open the journal and read the entries. I guess it's because they were of happier times. Before I knew this side of you. I want to talk to you so bad. Find out how you're doing and what's new in your life, but I know that would only make me feel horrible. I miss you so much. I really just wanted to say I forgive you for everything as hard as it is for me. I'm sorry for that text I sent you back in October. I just felt as if I would explode if I did not get out what I needed to say to you. I feel silly for sending it now, but one thing that was true was me wishing you well. I sincerely hope you are doing well and are happy. I can't force you to love me if you don't. I realize I have to let you go. It's just a little harder for me than it was for you.

 

Anyway, this has become way too long so I'm going to end it. I just have one request of you? Please treat her better than you did me. Don't break her heart. It's too painful and I don't wish this pain upon you, her or anyone. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. ❤️

 

Love always,

Cora

[Stressed_26]

Anyway, this has become way too long so I'm going to end it. I just have one request of you? Please treat her better than you did me. Don't break her heart. It's too painful and I don't wish this pain upon you, her or anyone. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. ❤️

 

Love always,

Cora

 

Well said. I can't believe someone can hurt you when you have thoughts like this.

This world is unfair !

[Chronotrgr]

It's been another rough day, It's only been 2 weeks since the split so I guess in time it will get easier, I couldn't help but wonder what things could have been like had we had the perfect start.

 

When I met you, I fell head over heels but you chose someone else, for months I dwelled, until you started talking to me again and eventually dropped him, but by that point, the tone was set, the pictures you posted of the two of you throughout that time wouldn't and still don't leave my memory, they tortured me for a long time and like today, still manage to do so.

 

I remember your reaction when you told me everything that you'd done with him, I fell apart and I think at that point you'd realised just how big a mistake you made, that reaction was enough to keep me by your side but I hadn't healed from being second choice, thinking you could have been intimate with me the whole time but chose to be like that with him, it took away my confidence and to say I felt worthless is a big understatement.

 

That was the tone set, I needed to have it shown to me that I meant something to you, at times I think you genuinely did care and I have fond memories of those times, you showed up at my house once, in the pouring rain in the dead of night to be there for me simply because I was having a bad night grieving the loss of my dad, that meant a lot to me.

 

Sadly in this past year I haven't seen that, I had a few health problems and a few scares this year, but you weren't there to comfort me, you didn't come with me to the hospital, it didn't come across like you was interested, one of the most painful moments was when I got told I may have to have brain surgery to correct some complications from meningitis that I had many years a go, I was terrified, I came to you for comfort, but you showed me the door because you was busy.

 

Thank goodness I needed no surgery in the end but just experiencing that cold reaction from you, I don't know what I'm supposed to take from that other than the feeling of insignificance.

 

Instances like this in our relationship where very difficult and trying to live with, but I fought through it for you, but after the way you kicked me out, bolting the door when I was sick, having to stand outside in the pouring rain until you let me back in, messaging my mother telling her i would be moving in there because you'd had enough, like I'm some rotten feller, I couldn't possibly carry on the relationship after that.

 

I don't like typing that out because honestly, I feel no hard feelings towards you, even after that, but in my heart and mind it was the last time I was going to let you hurt me in such a cruel way, and I type this out now to remind myself the reasons why I can't go back, no matter how I feel.

 

You told me you felt ashamed of yourself for what you did, I don't want you to feel like that, I want you to be happy, if you can do anything for me, it would be that you look at situations like this and learn from it, I don't know if you'll ever find a man who will cherish you like I did but if you do, treat him well and let yourself be vulnerable enough to find happiness with him.

 

I love you, please take care of yourself.

[jen_r]

I'm a f**king idiot for getting back with you in the first place. I always knew you never really loved me or cared about me, but I am so stupid and I ignored it and loved you harder....hoping you'd love me the same.

I told you that if you did this crap again that I would just disappear from your life without a word and...thats whats happening. Day 1 down. You get no explanation from me. I hope you think I'm dead. You will never hear from me again, ever.

[Rose_bud]

I miss you like crazy. I still can't believe everything that happened and I still don't understand how could you not feel the same way for me anymore. I gave everything I could and opened up so much to you. I don't understand how I am so perfect in your eyes and then again something is missing...

It will be so hard for me to see you with someone else, but you deserve nothing but happiness. I hope you are sure for the feelings towards your next girlfriend at least, cause it hurts like hell to hear I love you when the person is not sure about it while saying it. And I hope you find this honesty and match we had, as well as the feeling you were missing between us.

I hope I will find it too and the person will love me fully without any doubts. I deserve it.

[Thatmixedotaku]

Hey ****

 

I hope youre doing fine. I miss you so much it hurts to my soul. I know i was clingy and selfish those last two days, i am sorry . I realize that now. I know you dont want to hear from me, i realize that as well. You treated me like ****. What happened to all the love, the promises , the plans we made for each other, living together , sharing our lives. All that went out the window for you in a matter of days, was it so easy for you to just discard all that? I have loved you for over a year , before we even started dating, you were all i wanted...i miss you so much, i feel my chest cavity tearing apart when i think about you . I know you probably have bigger issues now and i have not crossed your mind at all...but you are on mine always. I still miss you. I will learn to move on .

[Chronotrgr]

Thankyou for inviting me round the house on Wednesday, however I must decline your offer, I have no desire to spend my time and effort on somebody who doesn't care about my well being, there can be no merry Christmas between us, and I'm sorry, as much as my son and your son became friends, I don't feel comfortable letting them spend time together, perhaps that is selfish, no, I know it is selfish, I am not stupid, but I need to be selfish in this instance, how will I ever be away from you if I leave even a tiny trace?.

 

Maybe in your mind this isn't how it was supposed to go and I was supposed to bend to your every command, but I can't do that, I fought to the very end and pushed through a lot of pain that you was causing me to be with you, in my mind now, enough is enough, I give up, I don't want to be with you anymore and I don't want to know you anymore.

 

I wish you no harm and I honestly hope you make a good life for yourself, but I can be no part of that ever again, I'm sorry.

[anonymousbear00101100]

Well I'm home from school, and I assume you are too. This sucks. So many memories driving around, seeing all the places we used to go for dinner and laying in my bed where we used to cuddle. There isn't tons of friends and girls here to distract me either, so after a good two weeks of NC and barely thinking of you, I've realized I'm still not over you.

 

The girl that I thought liked me stopped replying. I forgot how hard it was to play the single games. I played them with you for a whole year, it was awful. You're kind of a ****ty person now that I think about it. You're not even that attractive, talented, or nice. I liked you because you were the first person to be interested in me, and I clung to you because I was afraid of being single. I don't miss you, but I do miss having someone to hug and kiss and buy dinner for.

 

I'm better off without you. I see that now. And you're better off without me. You might not ever find someone as handsome, successful, interesting, funny, or caring as me, but that didn't seem to be what you wanted anyways. I was amazing to you. I always listened. I always showed up to things I did not care about. I always was there for you whenever you needed it. But you weren't there for me, and when I reached out for help, you left. You were an awful, immature, unsupportive, childish girlfriend. And now you're taking that award winning personality to ruin some other guys life. I feel sorry for him. If only you were mature enough to work on myself. You might never be alone in life, going boyfriend to boyfriend, maybe even husband to husband. But if you don't seriously grow up, you're going to be alone at the end of your life. And I will happily married.

 

I love me. I'm awesome. I don't need you. If you couldn't appreciate how great I was, then you don't deserve me.

[Chronotrgr]

If you still care at all, don't go tell me now, if you love me at all, don't call

[Thatmixedotaku]

I saw your picture today. You looked so happy....so happy without me. I instantly felt my body shaking,tears welled up in my eyes. ...i knee you moved on quickly,maybe you never felt anything at all, but it was such a cruel reminder.....i am a mess while you don't even think about me. Why? Why would you do this to me? To dump me for being too emotional about you? God ,you were my everything....i was floating in heaven every moment we were together . I meant it with all my heart everytime I said I love you. Even after we broke up I still thought about you,hoped you were doing fine, the thoughts of us were driving me insane. I needed you. I still do. How can a person be too loving ? I tried to love you the best way I know how. Yes I was intense , I was head over heels. I wasn't overbearing jealous,sure I was clingy when you became distant on the last days ...but I loved you , I still do and to you every "I love you" every "I want you , I miss you" was a LIE . You didn't really mean any of that. I was emotional toilet paper to you. I was just another stepping stone, a mark on the road that you would rather forget and not give a second thought

 

 

 

One day I will be over you and realize I deserved much better , indeed that day will come. I will look back and thank God for the lessons you taught me. But now I still yearn for you,your prescence , your laugh, your kisses ,your smile, the way you got playful, the cuddling,everything.

 

 

You killed a part of me. I hope it was worth it . I hope you felt it was worth causing me all that pain . I hope you happy .

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Your text has been messing with my head. I still love you and as much as I'd love to satify my urges with you I just can't right now. One kiss, one touch, one stroke..I'm going to crumble.

[TunaCat]

I got a Christmas card from your family today.

 

I'm shaking so badly and am in tears.

 

Why did you let your mom send the card. She knows that we're no longer dating, and in fact a pic of you with your girlfriend J was IN the damn card.

 

What the freaking HELL possessed your mom to send me a card.

 

I'm feeling like all the work I've done to get over you has gone in the crapper.

[Chronotrgr]

I love you, this is something I feel still but something you will never hear leave my lips again, I'm trying my best to approach this break up as rationally as I can, I can't go back this time, I can't ever break contact even if at times it's seemed unbearable not to do so, if I break contact you will break me, that's the way it's always been.

 

I'm trying my hardest to forgive you for how you've treated me this whole time, it's not easy, you put me through hell, you degraded my self worth and shunned me at the vital times I needed you the most, I could sink no lower than the time I was in a hospital bed and you weren't there by my side to tell me it was alright.

 

I never asked for anything more than the thing's I should never have had to ask for, I wasn't a priority for you, and if in your eyes I was, it wasn't shown to me.

 

I hope one day the ways in which you've treated me will hit you, I hope you will learn and I hope you will better yourself and never feel it's okay to treat anybody else in this way ever again.

 

You won't get another chance with me, I won't risk putting myself through this torture again.

 

I'm far from an entitled person and I would never say I deserve this and that and all the rest, however I will say that there is somebody out there, I don't know who it is yet who will genuinely love and care about me, I have to believe that and I have to look forward to that person rather than backward on the person who will never be able to truly give me what I need from a relationship.

[Chronotrgr]

Christmas is vast approaching, what did I get for Christmas this year?, I felt worthless, unimportant and broken, all from you, bring on the new year, my resolution will be to start fresh and put you behind me.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Chronotrgr

[K2z]

I sent you a final note last weekend. It ended with the sentence "These are my final words to you."

 

You've been married about a month now. At this time last year you were living in our home.

 

I hope you read my final letter 1000 times. God knows I have. It's become some kind of mantra.

 

My heart screams out for you, and yet I have no option of seeing or speaking to you again in this lifetime. You made yourself another man's wife. By now, maybe you are carrying his child.

 

You know in the movies how after a nuclear bomb goes off, and the flames have died down, there is just a perfectly quiet field of scorched rubble, and little ashes are falling from the sky like snowflakes? That's my heart these days.

[K2z]

My heart belongs to you. My scorched heart. The heart you trampled on and threw away.

 

I am so exhausted and tired of tears and mourning. It's not over yet. When does it end?

[Chronotrgr]

I saw you today, it felt almost like I was looking at a stranger, we both instinctively hugged each other, even gave each other a peck on the lips, we had a cigarette then we went our separate ways, I cried my eye's out all the way home, even though all that happened, everything from the hug to the peck just felt so empty, why are we so drawn together like this?, I fought with everything I had for you in the relationship, even though I knew you weren't showing me what I needed to see from you, but you didn't fight back so why do I feel so guilty?.

 

I feel so lost, confused, my heart and soul are in piece's, what the hell am I supposed to do?, what could I have done under the circumstances?, you didn't run after me, you put our picture away and coldly moved on as if I meant nothing to you, I can't let this blip deter me from fighting the good fight, I've done my best, I've done more than you can possibly do.

[Stressed_26]

You were my redemption but you made my worst fear come true. You were my last chance, last hope, last belief in this thing, and just when I thought I reached there you turned out to be worst ever.

 

Yesterday I saw a dream, I met a girl so graceful, so amazing, so beautiful and kissed her. I brought her home and then when she turned back I saw she had another face on the back of the head. The face of a monster. It was so scary monster face that I woke up all in sweat. I guess you will know what this dream means.

 

I hope you are having a good Christmas with your new guy and will have the best new years ever. Please don't hurt him as me. No, just because one has been hurt before does not make it okay for you to hurt again, does not make it any less painful. Hurt is not a vaccination, it is does not bring immunity. It is opposite. You can forget the first betrayal but not the last one. If someone ever does this to you then please think of me that day - you will know what I am going through.

Edited December 24, 2015 by Stressed_26

[Chronotrgr]

Merry Christmas, its hard to believe this time last year we spent it together, and now a year on, its all gone wrong, I don't know what to say to you, I feel like somebody has thrown me head first into a hurricane.

 

I intend on treating today like any other day, if I don't, then most likely, I'll fall apart, because I honestly thought a few months back that we was in for a nice peaceful Christmas with one another, I didn't expect to be shut out in the cold in this way.

 

I love you, what you've said and done, for today at least, it doesn't even matter, I miss you, I long to hold you in my arms and kiss you on the head just like I used to do, you was so very precious to me, I hope with all my heart that one day you may find true peace and happiness within yourself.

 

I don't know what the future holds for me but I hope somewhere down the line, secretly at least, that next Christmas somehow we can be happy together, it probably won't happen, I probably won't let it but its nice to have a moment of weakness after being far too strong for far too long.

 

Even though I can't go back, my only wish is that you'd have shown me that you cared by fighting for me, even if only a little, goodnight, I go to sleep now feeling empty, alone and nunb, hoping when I wake up I at least receive some form of message of you wishing me the best for this made up ridiculous holiday.

[Cora]

Well it's Christmas Eve. Can you believe it? Time sure does fly. I thought about you today and just wanted to say Merry Christmas. I hope that you are happy and spending the holidays with loved ones. I miss you so much. I forgive you for everything. I just wanted you to know that I no longer harbor anger in my heart for you. I was only hurting myself by doing so. I have accepted that you have moved on with someone new. I only wanted you to be happy and if she makes you happy then I'm glad. So Merry Christmas to you my dear and much happiness for years to come. Oh and you don't have to worry about me. I'm at peace now. It will take some time, but I'll eventually be able to move on without missing you, feeling sad or having thoughts about you. I am able to see that now. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I'll eventually make it there.

 

So long my love,

Cora

[Chronotrgr]

Wow what a rough day, I can't say I've missed you quite as much as I did today in a very long time, it was unbearable, I felt like breaking down in front of my family and letting it all out, I was completely devastated.

 

I'm looking forward to January 2nd so I can put the festive blues behind me and do some real healing and soul searching, Christmas and new year are probably a stumbling block for many people experiencing a break up.

 

But you know something?, I can't even imagine how much worse I would have felt if I didn't leave you 7 pages full of my feelings behind, I took the blame where the blame was due, I gave you my understanding and I gave you a meaningful goodbye to always look back on, that for me should have been closure and in a way it is but you have such a strong hold over me, it's hard to pick myself up at times when my mind won't let up thinking of you.

 

I'm going to chalk it up as the holidays getting to me, I can't afford to think any deeper in to it than that, I did all I could and I can be proud of myself for that, I didn't get angry, I didn't call you names, I didn't shout at you, I told you I loved you my heart and I can't say anything nicer than that surely?.

 

Even now, I'm hurt but I don't bare any ill will towards you, I don't hate you, I'm trying to forgive you and I'm trying to be the kind of person who can smile and hold no grudges.

 

I miss you, I love you, Merry Christmas, goodnight.

[Thatmixedotaku]

You send me these casual "merry Xmas happy new year " texts and I reply as formally and coldly as I can . Then asking me if im in my apartment . Why ? Why are you choosing to rub salt in my wound? Can't you just leave me to suffer in silence , don't try to fix the damage you knew very well you were causing with holiday cheer. It's days like this when I wake up feeling so much heartache and pain from you that I realize ,what a mean person you could be ....you sent me that text for the sake of yourself ,because you felt guilty for treating me like trash and you don't want to feel like a bad human being . God....how can you? How can a person treat another like that? How can you treat me like that?

[jdids247]

What a weird month has been for me.

 

I was having a great last few months. Started a new job, started hitting the gym getting my body back , was dating around and getting my confidence back. I was on top of the world for a few months because I thought I was finally turning back into the guy I knew I was. I felt free of your emotional trauma.

 

I ended up running into your nieces and nephews and they all came up and gave me a hug and told me they missed me. Then the week after, my driveway is plowed out by your dad. I meet your mother to see when I can stop by their place to thank him for plowing me out and it ends up being a 45 minute conversation about you're struggling and how you haven't been on a date since we split and how she misses me and how she wishes you would wake up and realize what a good man you had. I thought that was the end of that because that was hard enough.

 

At christmas, my aunt decides to bring up that she still follows you on pinterest and that you're posting depressing quotes and things about anxiety. She decides I need to hear this for reasons I do not understand. Then proceeds to tell me that my you admitted to her that she brought on too much baggage into out relationship. I was pissed. You couldn't communicate anything to me without having a meltdown but she was able to communicate these things that I had a problem with to my aunt. I felt betrayed...almost worse than I did when we were dating. Why was it so hard for you to talk to me, in a safe environment, about how you were feeling but could go and talk to your friends so easily, then proceed to take out your anger on me and treat me like total ****?

 

This is more of a rant. I think it's time for therapy for me. I shouldn't be this hurt this long after a relationship is done. I just want you to realize that the hurt your ex husband put you through, you put me through the same hell.

Edited December 27, 2015 by jdids247

[K2z]

Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't want to waste three years of my life either? That maybe I was building up to marriage?

 

Honest to God, the more I flip things over and over in my mind, I don't know where the truth ends and the bulls**t begins with you.

 

When we were together for about a year and there was no proposal, I think you shut down on me and explored other options. (In fact, I saw evidence of that on your Facebook page.)

 

You quietly punished me for "not loving you 100%." You withdrew, and withdrew, instead of communicating. By the time you left for Europe you were pretty much completely emotionally divested of me, and ready to leap into a marriage that had either been in the works for months while you were living with me, or which you hastily agreed to after a few months of your trip. The forest of lies from your side is so thick I don't know which is which.

 

I have made it clear we cannot be friends. I will be ecstatic when every single thought and memory burns in a big, cleansing bonfire in my mind. What I fear more than the loss of you is the emptiness that I have allowed my life to become. That's all on me. I have to build an identity up from matchsticks now, and that is the source of anxiety. The loss of you -- a liar, user, and betrayer -- is an illusory pain... no more real than the Wizard of Oz's projection.