DrMario Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 What a day, first you text me something really nice about the letters I wrote to you at Christmas then I get a hug from you when i see you from across the street after not seeing or hearing from you for so long, and when I wake up tomorrow it will be silence again and it will be like the instance had never happened at all and as sad as that is, maybe it is for the best, I won't make anything out of this and I won't reach out either, just know that I love you and your son and I hold you both so very dearly to my heart, I wish only the best for the two of you for the future. Link to post Share on other sites
DrMario Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 I didn't sleep too well last night, I have a party to go to tonight but I'm going to give it a miss, I'm heartbroken and for the first time in days I just want to be alone so I can cry and come to terms with things again, you looked beautiful yesterday and I can't get that image of you out of my mind, you asked how I was yesterday, I told you I was fine, I lied, it hurts like nothing else that you have left me behind. Link to post Share on other sites
DrMario Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 And tonight you wind up at my door, because my little boy saw your little boy and ran out to hug him, I managed to get a hug again from you after a very short conversation, it didn't mean anything to you, I can tell, but just what on earth is going on this weekend?, I've never known anything like it, I'm just gonna spend tomorrow crying in my bed, I can't cope anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 It still hurts so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Hls923 Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Today is day 4 of NC. I feel good that I took the step to block you and tell you exactly why, but I am thinking about you a lot today. I've been sick all week, so I'm sure that that is why you were not on my mind as much. But today for some reason I keep checking my blocked voicemails folder and trivia crack app........Why am I still hoping that you will reach out to me??? I hate that I still have these feelings. I went 15 days NC last time and broke it when you threw some breadcrumbs my way.......will I never learn?? Link to post Share on other sites
Onajourneynow Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 I can't stop crying these days... Day 14 NC. I don't want you back, but you were my best friend. I can't get over how much you hurt and betrayed me. Wish you would just apologize and make all this pain go away. I wish you could say you never meant to say all those hurtful things. That you said them out of anger, and that you remember all the good times. I wish we could just move on as friends, and talk to each other for hours like we did before. Even if you don't want me romantically, at least apologize, or take me as a friend, or just something. I don't want you to hate me. I don't even make any sense. I'm full of contradictions. All I know is that I accepted all your flaws and loved you, but you couldn't accept mine. Lately I've been thinking of this quote, "You fell in love with my flowers but not with my roots, so when Autumn arrived you didn’t know what to do." You said that you loved me in the beginning, but as you got to know my past, you felt I wasn't the same person anymore. My past is the past... it isn't me. I loved you so much, more than anyone before. **** you for hurting me so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
jas098 Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 I miss you all day everyday. I can't escape my thoughts or emotions. My nightmares haunt me every night.. there is no escaping this so I guess I just have to fight through it. I'm such an idiot and I deserve it for doing it to myself and you. I should have knew you wouldnt always be around and I took it for granted. I wish I didn't push you away by being confused, I should have been able to commit. I've been hurt and played with before and it isn't fair I brought it into our relationship and got scared. I really wish I could have shown you how much you meant to me before it was too late. Although I never once yelled at you, cheated on you, argued with you, or disrespected you. I wish you could understand I gave you 100% honesty whether it hurt you or made you happy, and did what I believed was right. I feel like we could have maybe worked things out one day in the future if we crossed paths again and honestly part of me kind of does.. but the way you hurt me after the break up was extremely heartless and I'd never be able to forget it. I know the breaks and final break up hurt us both, but id never do what you did to me even if I was hurt. I mean look at how I was still nice to you even after the way you disrespected me. It's been 2 months since I've heard from you and I know I never will, you disappeared into somebody else's arms. I just can't tell if this was a blessing in disguise and you showed your true colors after the break up, or if I made you that way because the break up hurt you. This regret and guilt eats me up everyday. Why couldn't have I showed you I appreciated you and not got comfortable. Well you were my first true serious girlfriend that showed me what it's like to be loved and to not get played, and either way I have learned some huge lessons and won't ever regret them 1.5 years we spent together. Honestly even though it kills me you had that new guy rub everything in my face and destroy me emotionally.. if you are happy with him then so be it. If he makes you happy that's what you deserve because you truly were a great person to me. Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Today I held a flame to your photo. I watched as it consumed half the square, then I turned it at an angle so it consumed the rest. My finger burned briefly. It was worth it. I also burned a little piece of note paper on which we wrote to each other that we loved each other on either side. Burn away just as quickly in my heart and mind, will you please, betrayer? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) I was reading through our old text conversations today. I'm finally able to do that without breaking down and crying. Seeing your cute and witty texts reminded me of how sweet and funny you could be. Took me right back to the good times. Seems like only yesterday instead of 9 months ago. If someone would have told me 9 months ago what I would be going through now I would have never believed them. The sweet man I knew could never end things this way. Could never hurt me like this. What happened to that man? Is he lost forever? Was it all a facade? Because I don't know you anymore. I don't recognize anything about you. It's amazing how people/things can change so drastically and in an instant. Doesn't seem real does it? I still, all these months later, am trying to understand your doings. I just can't make sense of it all. Don't think I ever will. You lied to me about having a brain tumor and being sick in order to spend time with your now new girlfriend. After you left me I had emergency surgery to remove a massive tumor I didn't even know I had. Funny how life works huh? Remember the job I had that I dreaded going to each morning and depressed me more than anything? Well I finally got a new job with amazing coworkers that I love! I've also made some awesome new friends who have helped me to get my mind off of you. I've adopted a precious and wonderful cat and I've started eating healthier and getting back into my exercise routine. So much has happened since you left me. Life is finally starting to move on for me. So much has changed and while change is hard, it is very much needed. I'm still not dating, but I can at least look at another guy now and find him attractive. That's a huge step for me! Because for the longest time, you were the only guy I could see. No one else mattered. That is slowly, but surely changing. I hope you're doing well and I wish you all the best. Edited February 2, 2016 by Cora 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PLT Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Thank you for some closure, finally. Now I know you DON'T love me, and haven't for a long time. I may have been insecure recently but you made me that way with all your ****ty comments, the traps you laid for me, the contradictions so I was always off balance. Funny how everything changed once I started calling you out on your disgusting behaviour. You'll never accept responsibility for all that though. Your kind never do. Thankfully, thats not my problem anymore. It's the next mug you reel in with your superficial "qualities". Better make it quick because once your looks go theres nothing left. I miss the you before you changed, and boy have you changed! Not for the better either! Before you started putting me down and insulting me and my family at every opportunity, but that you is gone, if it ever was the real you to start with. Like you kept saying over and over again, love is blind. It sure is. I was blind to how cruel and self serving you are. Yeah, I really did love you. I still do. I cant turn my emotions on and off like a light switch. But, much as its painful, I know there's no going back. I've seen the real you now. Reeled me in, chewed me up and spat me out. Then have the audacity to talk about morals and respect. Well now I walk away with my head held high, knowing that I did everything in my power to make things work, but you sabotaged it every step of the way. It's all a game to you. Congratulations. You won. I hope you end up alone and lonely. It's what you deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
Onajourneynow Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Slowly moving on. My sexual urges are starting to go through the roof. I'm talking to men, flirting, and starting to imagine myself with them. I won't do it though. It's my time to invest in myself. I won't make the same mistake of having sex with a man who doesn't love and truly care for me. He has to be able to please me mentally and physically, to go down on me, to care for me, someone who truly respects me and appreciates who I am. Thank you for making me realize that I deserve more than what you had to offer... and what my exes also lacked in offering. I'm becoming the woman I always wanted to be. I'm not a little girl anymore. I deserve respect, love, admiration, everything I offered to you and my exes, but never received. Goodbye to little boys. Link to post Share on other sites
DrMario Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I bought you a valentines card, I wrote a letter, I found an old picture, I enclosed them in the envelope and decided that I would never send them, you don't care about me and you don't love me so why would you care for anything that I had to say?, one day I'll open it myself and read back on it knowing what a fool I had been. Link to post Share on other sites
Hls923 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Day 0 - I fell for it AGAIN. ? I told him "Do NOT contact me in any way unless it's to discuss reconciliation". I go NC, and 9 days later, here he is again. I answered because I mistakenly thought he would respect my decision and was wanting to discuss reconciliation. Stupid mistake. His only concern is that he doesn't want me to be mad, and was upset that I am not wishing him well and happiness (I told him this new girl cheated on her boyfriend to go on a date with you, she WILL cheat ON you--and you deserve it because you KNOW she's a cheater!!) (He didn't cheat on me--they went out almost a month after we broke up, and she had (HAS!!) a boyfriend--a boyfriend she STILL has not broken up with !!! LOL.......,, he just spewed out the SAME crap he said when he dumped me, same crap he said 11 days ago.....STOP!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! :mad::mad: Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 If I saw you again, I would yell at you. I would not cry or beg, or seek to "talk." User, liar, betrayer -- I would pass judgement on you... the one you are too cowardly to acknowledge for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 eh. that's literally my only response to your offer. Link to post Share on other sites
triple-s Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I work with my ex . ( which is unfortunate when trying to get over someone ) Since the new year started i have not seen her since the first week of January .. I have been staying clear away from all social media like instagram and facebook . I do not wish any more pain i am inflicting on myself when i look ... This monday is the first time i will see her since the new year started and i admit im pretty nervous . Why ? Ive kept a clear head for a good month away from her --- seeing her at work might just confuse me again and reminisce about wanting to be back with her .... so frustrating Link to post Share on other sites
Onajourneynow Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 (edited) Day 20 NC and Day 112 Since Last Physical Interaction: I am so ****ing pissed at you. So much anger and rage and frustration and disappointment. YOU WERE A WASTE OF MY ****ING TIME. Why can't I get you out of my head. I keep spiraling between crying and anger... help me get out of here. Please. Edited February 7, 2016 by Onajourneynow Link to post Share on other sites
Valerie74 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I'm at a loss. I've recently come out of a relationship with someone who was a friend. I'm practising No Contact. It's the most loving thing to do right now, for both of us. She was in contact pretty immediately but seems to be respecting the boundary now. I don't know what's happening for her but the break up is unleashing a whole cauldron of emotions & I'm searching for somewhere to put that..starting here. I'm really disappointed I didn't listen to my gut instinct earlier, this was a friendship that in the scheme of things socially was pretty important. With the relationship has also gone the social circle. It's bringing up a lot of feelings as I've tred the path of accepting my sexuality and in truth (without a violin) have found a lot of loneliness in that. So the relationship happened and I was never able to relax in it. Operating from this low self-worth causes a lot of problems. Anyone i.d out there? Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 At this time I feel like I wish I never met you. User, liar, betrayer. My time was wasted on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hls923 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Day 2 NC--- you called Saturday and asked if I thought WE could work after all that's happened. I said I WILL NOT be second choice or a consolation prize--you MUST choose me, not by default if she tosses you aside, but because it is truly ME you want to be with. Not going to lie---it'll be some work. I don't know if you can make the commitment...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Onajourneynow Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Ugh.. I was on truecaller and wanted to check if I had you blocked on it. You probably got an email that I "searched" for you on the app. ****. Not gonna lie... I miss talking to you. Hate your guts so much. Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 You were on my mind again today. And I don't know why. I really do not need the poison. While stopped at a traffic light, you turned left right in front of me. I saw you, but you did not see me (I think you were probably looking at your phone). It has been five months since I left you at a concert when I was paying for everything and all you were doing was texting and Facebooking about how you were living it up ... without a mere mention of me. (Guess you didn't want to blow it with the other chicks who you are stringing along.) I know you are still broke, and I tried so hard to prop you back up. I will no longer allow myself to be a door mat to anybody. Seeing you, if only for a few seconds, made me sad to remember that there are horrible emotional vampires still out there. I can only hope that karma is your new bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 I was doing fine until yesterday. I'm slowly moving on. Even have my first date since you left me this Saturday. It will be nice to meet someone new. To have a distraction from my never ending thoughts of you. Well yesterday at work my coworkers brought you up. They wanted to know more about the guy who hurt me. They even looked you up on Facebook and talked about how handsome you were. There on your page was the picture of you and your new girlfriend. Even the caption under it stated "me and my girlfriend at such and such event." It stung looking at that. One of my coworkers asked me what my fondest memory with you was? I told her it was staying up until 2 in the morning playing Scrabble because I was determined to win the next game. We laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes during those game nights. I never did win a single game and I always joked I secretly let you win. Talking about you brought up a lot of painful memories. I say painful because even though we had many many happy times together it only makes me that much more confused as to why and how you could have left me so harshly....without a trace. You were so tender and sweet...so very protective over me. I miss you with each passing day. Thoughts of you fill my head and sadness fill my heart from the emptiness you left me with. I kept thinking that maybe you'd get in touch eventually to provide me with some kind of explanation. To give me even an ounce of closure. You haven't though and the more time that passes I don't think you ever will. I always thought of you as a decent man, but then a decent man would not do something like this. Your life seems so full and happy and I am left just feeling empty inside. My joy has vanished along with you the day you left me. It hurts to know that I mean nothing to you anymore and probably never did. You've erased me from your life completely. I've been replaced. You seem happier with my replacement. She's pretty...prettier than me...perhaps even smarter than me too. I guess it's not hard really to see why you chose her. I hate it had to happen this way my darling, but you seem happy so I guess that's all that matters. I'll never ever ever forget you for as long as I live. Tears are streaming down my face as I type this. I don't think I'll ever stop shedding tears over you. Sigh...goodnight my love. Link to post Share on other sites
JFReyes Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 (edited) J, It’s been a while since I last wrote you, but I want to thank you for what you did today. I won’t go into the details but the change you made has lifted a weight off my shoulders. I can now continue to move on with my life with less stress. Although there’s still one more pending issue between us, its resolution is in progress and I look forward to that day. I hope you are well and finally find the happiness you deserve. Edited February 12, 2016 by JFReyes Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 I have never felt a more profound pain, and I think I will carry it for the rest of my life. What hurts most is that it is so much my fault. This is no black and white blame game, no matter how much I hunger for it to be. We have been out of contact for nearly two months. Today is Valentine's Day, and tomorrow is your birthday. I want to hate you often for your deception and betrayal. It's one of the main themes of my life to resist that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts