No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[PLT]

Finally the light has come on. Finally, after 2 weeks of anger, sorrow, desperation, guilt, depression and anxiety I see. I see you for what you really are.

 

There are 4 people in this world who I would trust with my life, and they have all been telling me the same things, in their own ways. 3 of these people have been subjected to the kind of treatment you have given me over the past 3 years and so know from experience.

 

I've researched, scoured forums, read countless articles and watched countless youtube videos searching for answers, and piece by piece, it's all started slotting together and it's all starting to make sense.

 

The underhanded jibes and put downs, even in front of others, the slow, steady drip drip drip escalation of your behaviour. The self contradictions, the lies, the attitude and your view of the world, life, and other human beings. It ALL makes sense now.

 

You have been manipulating my emotions since day 1. Very slowly escalating it over time because once, I didn't stick to my guns so next time you pushed that boundary a tiny bit further, and again, and again, until we come to where you don't even bother to hide what you are doing anymore.

 

You have been trying to mould me into what you want, rather than loving me for who I am. I can change and adapt to try and make my relationships better, but there comes a line you DO NOT cross. You have crossed that line once or twice but no more. You do not adapt, you do not change. You just carry on as you were, abusing, manipulating, hurting, dropping, picking up again, then more abuse, only it's always worse than the time before.

 

No more.

 

I hope you HAVE been cheating on me. The bloke will not know whats hit him when he becomes me in the coming weeks, months or years. I'm stronger than you will ever know. You cannot break me. You tried your best but I've dealt with FAR worse problems in my life than you can ever throw at me, and you hate it. And I know that you will hate it. Why? Because you failed to turn ME into YOU.

 

So carry on your pathetic attempts to try and make me hurt, try to make me be in the anguish and mental torture I have endured for months. It will not work. I'm onto you.

 

I will carry on being me, and you can carry on being you without me. Let's see who grows old happier. I already know the answer.

 

Goodbye and goos luck, you really are going to need it.

[PLT]

I still can't believe that you dumped me in the most callous, cruel, painful, cold hearted, inhuman, immoral way possible.

 

But do you know what hurts the most? It's not the impossible expectations, its not the cruel, sadistic underhand put downs, it's not the disgusting way that you used what I've dealt with in life against me, it's not even that you used my best qualities against me. It's none of those things.

 

What hurts the most is that I genuinely, whole heartedly believed that you were the most amazing, most beautiful, most kind, most caring woman I had ever met.

 

I trusted you 100%. I thought that no matter how bad things got, no matter even if we were going to break up, that you wouldn't treat me like this.

 

I was wrong about you. THAT is what hurts the most.

[loveiswar101]

We might of had fun and been together for a short time. But I was only polite, kind, affectionate and honest with you!

 

In the end you lied and come out the blue telling me you have met someone else less than 10 days of us on your couch cuddling and talking.

 

Half of me wants you to suffer but that's not me and I wish you well if only for the happiness of you and that happiness reflecting on your children.

 

Best Wishes

[Wayne Stark]

I cannot stop thinking about you and I truly miss you. I love you.

[benB]

Wow is all I can say. Just saw you out at a club with your new guy that you met last night and slept with after knowing him for a couple hours. He knows some of my friends and just my luck I see you tonight, you looked me in the eyes, smirked and looked away and went to him. Then I see you holding hands with him walking home. Wow, nobody should have to see that. 2 weeks ago you were in my arms telling me you love me and now you're turning one night stands into normal things. Just heart breaking. I deserve much better and I shouldn't be sleepless at 5am over a girl like you.

[loveiswar101]

Why did you lead me on! Damn you! Yes you found someone else, but you're loss. That kindness and affection you said you loved will never be presented to you again. Yes ivé shred tears, you have hurt me, I do not show my true feelings to many and in this case I was a fool showing them to you. You are broken, so your loss is my gain. I wish you well and hoped you deleted my number when I asked.

[K2z]

Spring is back, but I am moving soon. There's big full moons and great views off the balcony, and bathwater warm breezes that I thought we would share for years.

 

I don't go out there myself. It's too much. I can't enjoy it. I will never enjoy this particular spot again.

 

I'm moving to a teeny little place for one, which has a nice but different view. I'm going to pour a whole bunch of energy into making it an amazing little bachelor loft. Is it what I want? Who even knows anymore?

 

I am barely a grain of sand on the beach of your thoughts. I'm fairly sure of that. You still occupy an outsized chunk of mine. But I function. I laugh. I date. I've had other women. I cry out for you inside still, but it's more of a whimper than a scream.

[Onajourneynow]

Trusting my intuition is perhaps one of the scariest things I've been learning to do... but the most useful.

 

My intuition kept alerting me about you, I ignored the signs.

 

Love is not scary, alerting, or worrisome. It's comfortable, loving, warm, beautiful, something you don't understand.

 

I told you I'm very simple. You replied "but I'm not". Then leave me alone...

 

Stop telling me you love me when you don't.

Stop lying through your teeth.

You're a user.

 

Stay away from the lovers. Lovers know better.

[lucy14]

Just want to lash out and send him a really vile hurtful nasty message, but I wont because all it will do is make me look vile and nasty.

[Rachel39]

I'm so angry today, how you lead me on to think we had a future, I asked but for a as if we wanted the same things still marriage living together and you say yes so why over a stupid argument did you just walk away

 

Say your not sure this is what you want anymore !!!! Your a coward and a liar, I'm heArtbroken and your ok you've hurt my son and just walked out of his life too ...

 

Nothing 10 weeks and nothing Iv texts you you wouldn't reply you had nothing to say your cruel and heartless and my anger has just started to come out because I held on for all this time thinking you would see what you've lost

 

Instead you feel you've had a lucky escape I can feel it because you made me feel like I was wanting to much attention from you or I was needy I seen you once a week and alternate weekends

 

today I don't like you, or what your about how you can be so cruel and lead me on knowing what I went through with my ex oh I remover hearing you telling me you would never be that way oh he must of been crazy to let you go !!!!

 

Today I'm angry but I'm determined to get over you !!!!

[Cirilla]

I was nice to you only because the venue was dark and I didn't realize it was you when you first tapped me on the shoulder. If I had known for sure it was you, I would have ignored you like I did last time. Because you need to know you're unforgiveable. You don't deserve to have your conscience eased, man child. I still hate you.

[K2z]

It comes like rain these days. The periods of clear weather are longer than the storms... the exact opposite of what those first months were like. But when it comes, it comes. It's cold, and it hurts. And I want to curl up inside, and wait for it to pass.

[BatManuel]

Back to the place where I saw her for the last time. It's been 8 months since I saw her last, 4 since the breakup. Getting better, but hard to be here.

[CDJ]

Just gone past what would have been our two year anniversary, and coming up to a year since we went on a holiday to Japan together. I know she'll probably be going again soon (she goes with her family every year) and I suspect the new guy will be going along, just as I did last year. And the idea hurts - it just emphasises how I was so quickly and easily replaced.

 

As a result I'm suffering the temptation to check her social media again. It would be so easy to check - all I need to do is google her Instagram handle and there they'd be. I haven't done it for nearly two months and I know that if I go there again I'll be back to square one, but the temptation is fierce! I think part of it is because of the 'anniversaries'; one of those checkpoints one has to get through.

 

I've also been dreaming about her a lot and in the one last night she apologised to me for what she did; and I don't recall feeling better about it (in my dream, I mean). Which has made me wonder if an apology would have ever made me feel better.

 

Anyway, someone please tell me what I already know - tell me why checking her social media is a bad idea! I think I just need it to shake me out of this phase.

Edited April 4, 2016 by CDJ

[Elwood]

Why did you even get to know me? What was the point? If you didn't want a relationship why did you get so involved with me? Why didn't you tell me about things I did that bothered you? Why did you wait until after you ended it? You never even gave me a chance. Why the hell did you treat me so differently than your past boyfriends? You wouldn't even allow me to be called that. You became cold overnight.

[loveiswar101]

5 Days ago you begged me to be your friend, like a fool I said yes. Today I ask you why you want to be my friend, YOU say dunno, because I wanted to...

 

You need therapy to get by in life, I now need therapy to get over you.

 

The only thanks I can give is Thank You for wasting 6 months of my life, I have never hated anyone, not even my ex wife of 10 years. I was only nice polite kind affectionate to you, I don't hate you, I worry for for you, but worry more for your young girls. Best Wishes.

[Jadedbyluv]

Today was tough. I miss my friend more than anything. You were always there when I was having a rough day. You always made me feel like things would be ok. You always understood. Now I don't feel like I don't have anybody to go to when I'm having one of those days. All the stuff with my family, I don't have anybody else I can really talk to about it. Not hearing from you at first wasn't so bad but the longer it is, the harder it is. I miss you. I just want my friend back. ?

[Onajourneynow]

Haha you lost me. I know when I go for my final practicum near you in a month, I won't step foot to see you. You lost me. I know you'll regret being a complete insecure dickhead but it's on you. You made me cry so many tears I didn't even know it was possible. Now it's my time to shine. Stay the **** out of my life.

[loveiswar101]

I only ask why? I only showed you and your girls kindness and affection, yet when things got tough you discarded me like a dirty rag. I know it's your loss, god knows why I feel how I do, sure it's more loneliness than anything but I do know I'm a good person and when that one day comes and you will realize you're mistake, it will be to late!

[TimmyC]

I want you to know that even though you said those hurtful things, I still love you. I miss staring into your beautiful green eyes. Every time I kissed you my heart skipped a beat. You made me the happiest man alive. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, to take care of you. I'm sorry that I couldn't afford a fancy diamond ring. Even though you will never see this I hope you know my heart still aches for you. And I will always love you. I still have that 4 leaf clover you gave me. I hope whereever you are right now that your smiling and happy. And I hope you know deep down that when things get tough and you get discouraged, I'm on the other side of the state cheering you on.

 

I love you always and forever

[The_Dork_Lard]

After 8 1/2 months of no contact, I'm SO tempted to call you, and I don't know why.

 

We're no good for each other. I'm not as sexually attracted to you as I once was, if at all now. The one time I did contact you, you coolly dismissed me. You're immature, WAY too entitled, and far too reactive for me to have a relationship with you. You're a liability in EVERY sense.

 

Yet I struggle to stay away from you. I like you. I still care about you. I still weep for your bad childhood. I miss our friendship SO much. I love your character and always did. I always thought you were so unique - more unique than all my other girlfriends put together. You were so liberated, so playful, so soft-hearted at times. I miss all the other people I knew because of you, and I miss your pet bird! I still cannot believe we're not in each others' lives in some capacity or another. It still hurts that my phone has been silent for so long now. It hurts that several others are in the very location I spent over 6 years occupying, and that I am now denied that place. Why did you suddenly go cold? I've always sensed growing coldness with previous girlfriends, but you switched off over one weekend. I really thought we were permanent, and so did you!

 

I want to reach out, but I know that's the WORST thing I can do. I know you'll probably answer texts and calls, but I fear what you've got to say.

 

I really don't think we're ever going to see each other again.

[blue_daisy]

It's been two months since I saw you and I still miss you, I miss the many text you sent to me every single day while we were together, I miss the days where we spent together talking and joking around about anything under the sun. Then you just left me all by myself.

 

Do you know that I have lost weight because of all this? Everyone kept asking me why so despite knowing what I have gone through. I didn't want to say anything because I would be crying in public if I start to talk about what happened. I wish you would just appear at my doorstep and just talk to me like how we did in the past. I want you to look at me and show me compassion, sympathy and guilt for what you've done to me. I wish I would just forget about you and my feelings towards you and go back to how I was before I met you.

 

I guess I'm not worth your effort and your time to keep me with you, despite me doing everything for you and putting you first in my life. But maybe that itself was a mistake, I shouldn't have loved you as much as I did. I should have stayed sceptical as I did in the beginning and not fall for your sweet, empty promises. Now I am just here, struggling to keep myself sane and working, trying to pretend nothing terrible has happened, that I am cool about all this and I have moved on.

 

It was your mistake to leave me and my mistake to hold on to you. I loved you, but you never loved me at all, did you?

[K2z]

I function. I'm dating. I laugh at stuff. I listen to podcasts. I have an intellectual interest in reading again.

 

And, I think of you all the time, with sadness. But it doesn't have me doubled over in pain the way it did.

 

That's what lots of people call healing: the relative absence of urgency and overwhelming emotion where thoughts of you are concerned. But I think it's something a bit different.

 

I can think about my long-dead grandmother or father without being doubled over in pain these days, too. And that's what you are. Something that has died in my life. And as I am sad but not halted by my sadness about those family members, I remember you... I am sad.. and I function.

 

You are dead to me. I miss you.

[Onajourneynow]

tears keep dripping out of my eyes

i miss you so much

i try to get you off my mind

distract myself

move on

love someone else

but all i can do is wonder what you're doing

i love everything about you

i love all the little things you do

love all the music you listen to

your hair

your smile

your teeth

your hands

your arms

your stomach

i miss the foods you eat

the fresh juices you make

the way you do things so deliberately and with great patience

how you don't care about doing your laundry the right way

i miss how you drive your car

i miss your ray ban sunglasses

i miss the grey hairs and your fast growing stubble

i love your fingers

i miss your laugh, it always gets a chuckle out of me

i miss cuddling and holding you

i miss your hand resting on my shoulder and my hair

i miss kissing you

i miss everything about you

[lemondrop21]

I miss traveling with you so much. I'm on a solo trip right now and you will be on your own solo trip this weekend.

 

I can't believe that confirmation came through on my Expedia account. The rebooked ticket that was originally for the trip when we would have gotten engaged. Wow, you are really traveling by yourself. When we broke up, I thought you said you wanted to take a trip on your own just to try and impress me. I was always the one wanting to travel solo, but you've never done it. Now you're doing it.

 

I'm traveling solo, you're traveling solo. My old travel partner. My former best friend. My... I can't post our nicknames on a public forum. Oh, I miss you.

 

You used to always point things out that I never would have noticed. Like different types of flowers and trees. And now I notice those things. I can imagine you talking to me about them. I imagine us talking together about our experiences at the end of every day. Instead, I'm sitting in this AirBNB place alone, eating sushi alone, with the TV on to create some noise.

 

I can't believe it's been a year since we broke up. I can't believe it's been four months since what will probably be the last time I'll ever see you. I can't believe that our only contact now is "business" stuff - mail that needs to be redirected, things like that. You don't even read my texts for days. I guess you don't want to read them in front of her. And I'm not a priority anymore. I'm barely anyone in your life anymore.

 

I was never that great for you. You deserve someone better and you've probably found her. I don't know why you're not traveling with her, but I guess you will be telling her about your adventures at the end of every day. I so wish I could hear all of that. I wish I was with you. I wish we could snuggle. I wish we could say all of the old things we used to say to one another.

 

Despite my better judgment, I wish we could try again. I know it will never happen, but I wish it would.