No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[sorano]

4 months have passed. This was very tough on me. I am doing a little better. I know you have moved on. You are happy. so now its time for me to be happy. I will not let this keep me down. Its not fair that you are doing fine and I am not.

 

We were supposed to do so many things this summer. Vacation to italy, go to beaches, and get to know each other even more. spend time with the family and being apart of our new nieces and nephews lives. But its gone.

 

Today I was thinking back at the times where you told me you wanted to be with me. I really thought I was important because of what you said. You had a bad past and you told me, you do not let men come in your life very easily. Yet, I was the man that did. I guess that was a huge lie. You lied to me, my family and to everyone around. You dragged me along thinking we would get married. The most disrespectful thing you did was not lying to me, but, to my mother. My brother trusted you with his new born baby. You are pathetic.

 

At first I wanted you back. I missed you. I said to myself, I cannot live without you. I still had visions of marriage and having a family just like you promised. But now that time has passed, I realize, you were poison. You have so many issues that you first need to workout. You really need therapy because I can tell that inside you are hurting from your past. You regret many things and you cannot make up your mind.

 

I will be lying to myself by saying, hey honey, I know it didnt work out so I wish you the best in life. I know that is the right thing to do. But I cannot. why? well, let me explain...

 

I gave you my heart, I let you in. I freakin let you in. I never gave up. I went above and beyond for you. I fell in love with you and would go to the moon and back for you. You made me believe that I was special. You told me you go through so much crap when you meet guys. so out of all the guys you met, I was the one that caught your eye, met your family and friends, and let me in. You cried to me and thanked me for coming into your life. I also thanked you and I told you time and time again, I am so lucky to have you in my life and love you very much. But you told me it was a fantasy, a dream and you finally woke up. You destroyed my life, you ripped my heart in two, and gave me unnecessary pain that I did not need.

 

In the end, I never felt that love I gave you. yes I got angry. But how can one not be? I tried and tried. I stayed with you because I loved you and did not want to give up. You told me you were falling in love with me, showed me wedding rings, and said I was your prince.

 

Enough is enough and I must move on. I must move on and let you go. I can no longer live my life in sadness and pain. I will not let you defeat me and bring me down anymore. I will no longer keep you on a pedestal and say to myself, wow, she was the best woman in world. You are not.

 

I will continue to pray. God will heal my broken heart and time will erase you. I do not need poison and evil in my life. I was raised different than you and yes, I am BETTER than you.

 

I do not wish you well, I do not wish you luck. I do not wish you peace. For what you did to me, my heart, my family, will never be forgotten and it was NOT ok. You do not treat people like a doll or play with there emotions. You had a good man behind you and a good future family to back you up. You let that go, now, as mean as it sounds, suffer. Maybe you will get married, have kids and have that big house you always wanted so you can entertain your friends, family. But at the end of the day, I will always know that you were fake, and as real as a three dollar bill.

 

There are many many fish in the pond. You know I am a avid carp angler. A german carp angler, max nollert, always says, " now go get the big one" That is his company slogan. You know what my saying is???

 

NOW GO FIND YOURSELF SOMEONE BETTER. That is my saying and that is what I will do. I will go find someone better.

[Memay]

Dear You,

 

it is nearly the summer. Summer was always our season. In a summer we met. I still remember how you shook my hand and how awkward it felt when this hand left mine. I remember our first date and what fun we had talking until the bar owner politely asked us to leave. I remember the first round of mini golf and how you seemed to try to hold my hand. I remember the first kiss and how alive I felt after that. I remember you mad texting me, coming to my work place for just a chance to see me. And I remember you telling me you just couldn't do that anymore and the first wave of pain that hit me. How it made me feel weak and unloved. I remember the fall and winter matching my feelings during that time cold,grey,dark. I remember next spring. You and me meeting for coffee laughing like old friends. I remember you kissing me,hugging me, telling me you want to try again. I remember September and how it felt when you said good bye again and how we struggled to go either this or another path. I remember January and the talk over whine and beer when you told me this is it. And I remember the months following- me begging,pleading and crying and you being so cold towards me it scared me to death. I remember April when you said nothing had changed and you last words still mark my heart ' I never made it hard on you. I explained everything to you. Sorry'

Sorry- the last word I heard from you.

I miss you in my life. I miss talking to you. I miss the fulfillment of all the promises you gave me. I have never been on your boat with you although you have talked about nothing else and I have seen all those pictures. Somehow I believe that the fact I may be the only person you never took for a cruise on that boat defines the place I had in you life - hidden, never serious about, lied to.

[urmysong]

I still love You so much and I will still say that I was very blessed that You've been into my life...I just read the news on msn about wildfires in fort mc murray and I feel so worried of You now. I cannot sleep, You are always in my thoughts. I hope You are doing well.

[urmysong]

It's still too hurts after almost 2 months since You broke up with me. I was just 18 when we met and You were 46. We have 28 years gap but I really love You. I still can't believe that You will just throw our 9 years away. I still don't tell my family and friends that You broke up with me cause I am hoping You will change Your mind one day. If they found out that we are no more, then I will tell them. I still hope that You will realize that it was not enough reasons to dump me. I married You cause I fell in love with You. You are my first boyfriend and feel so much loved from You. I saved the last dance for You and chose You and gave my wholeself to You, my whole heart, my virginity. You made me feel so loved. You promised me that You will love me forever...You ended it and I feel so lost. I don't know how to move on cause You are my first love and I still love You very much until now. Your the only one man in the world to me. I cannot stop myself from crying, i am hiding myself when I cry so our son cannot see me crying. I wanted to wish that we did not have son so I can go away to the place where nobody knows me. I want to delete You in my life cause You don't need me anymore, I wish to just die but our son needs me.

Your so unfair, I never gave up on You. I keep holding on and fight for You cause You are my life. I didn't care what people around us says when they see us walking together cause I really really love You more than anything else in the world. I feel so helpless that my bestfriend and husband just dumped me. You said You will never make me cry. When we met I told You i am very emotional person and You said You like that cause being emotional means needs to be hugged always. And after 9 years You just stopped hugging me. I didn't asked so much sex from You, I just need a hug and a kiss on my shoulder. I love You very much and I pray that this will be gone soon cause I don't want to die yet for our son and for my family.

I love You so much even if You hurt me this way.

[urmysong]

Oh and i forgot to say Happy Birthday...

[YellowPetal]

I'm so hurt right now. I want to contact my ex, and let him know how I feel, but I know he will not tell me what I want to hear, and he will not give me the emotional support I need right now.

We dated for a few months, and he had to go back to his home country. We met again a few days ago. He let me know he's dating someone, but the attraction was so strong, we slept together. He didn't tell me he was dating someone before flying in to see me. I feel like he only cared about his own needs, and completely ignored my feelings. He didn't even care enough about the girl he's dating to control himself. I know I made a mistake too, but my feelings are so much stronger than his, and I couldn't stay away from him. I want to tell him how much I care, and that I think he was selfish by coming to see me again. I'm trying so hard to control myself, but it's very difficult. I don't know anymore what to do. He wants us to be friends, and I really want to be his friend, but I just don't know how.

[SeriousAsparagus]

It's been a long time since I've used this forum... It's seen me through two boyfriends, and now my third ex. I saw my post on my last ex and I laughed a little at how dedicated I was to him. He was really good to me while we were together, albeit I was a little immature at the time, and couldn't fix a big problem even though he talked about it with me again and again.

 

My current, soon to be ex by tomorrow, is the one I'm crying over now. We've established that he's breaking up with me, but he just wants to tell me face to face. I wish he would've given it a chance, and fought for me. But in the end it all comes down to how they feel and their investment right? If he was all that interested, he would've worked this out with me. Maybe I'm not feeling as bad because I wasn't really happy either. The last month we dated, I found myself wondering why I was less happy whenever I came back from seeing him, why I didn't feel fulfilled like before, and why I felt like we weren't growing. I tried really hard in this relationship to be close, but maybe I tried too hard and didn't give him enough room to come towards me. But again, I felt like we weren't that kind of relationship... It was just I wanted more, but for him it was enough.

 

I went running today to clear my head, I have to keep doing the things I like to work on myself, refocus, and not dwell. To regain myself, my confidence, and my esteem. And next time I will find a man who will not have doubts about me. Who will love me and accept me for my faults. Who will be committed 100% and who I shouldn't have to ask for affection and care. I will learn to be more trusting so I can back off when I should. I will learn to give more equally, and wisely instead of generously. I know in my heart I was a good girlfriend to my ex, and although I am not perfect, I regret nothing. I made mistakes, but everyone does. I will just do better in my next love. Someone who finds me worth fighting for, someone who sees my worth, someone who sees losing me as a loss, someone who values me like I value myself.

 

And I will try to be more observant. More considerate for them also. More careful about feelings and words. I will try to be a better listener and communicator. Although it sucks, it'll get better. And this relationship has once again taught me so much more.

[SeriousAsparagus]

I am sad, and I am hurting, and I am crying, and I am numb. But I'm glad I'm not pining. At least not yet. I hope my heart will know better than to do that.

[SixxChick]

PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MIND.

 

It has been almost 8 months since I last saw you and literally walked away that fateful night because I knew for too long that you were just using me. That was the night that I took off the rose colored glasses while my eyes turned red from crying over you. A loser, a user and a taker. A person who lacks the capacity to feel empathy for anybody but yourself. You didn't come after me, wonder why I left, called to see if I was okay, nothing. You just moved on when I turned off your personal ATM (me). I'll bet you had your new $upply $ource already lined up. Good luck to her.

 

Why did you have to say those things? The things that reeled in my heart and made me believe you cared? Why didn't I see that your actions spoke so much louder than your empty words? Why have you contacted me over the months for random reasons, like nothing happened? What, did you need gas money or something? I don't care about the answers to these questions anymore.

 

You were so kind and sweet in the beginning, and then the real you emerged. You don't deserve to occupy an iota of space in my head. So please, please, please get the hell out.

 

P.S. Keep those monthly payments coming.

Edited May 12, 2016 by SixxChick

[SeriousAsparagus]

You just broke up with me half an hour ago. I'm grateful you drove to my house so you could talk with me and tell me in person. I wish you could've given us another chance. I wish you didn't end it not blaming either of us, but only saying it was your fault because you felt bad. I wish your conclusion wasn't that our personalities didn't match. I wish I could've kept you from leaving. You were nicer today than you had been in the past month. I wish you told me more about what bothered you instead of letting the resentment build up to the point that you deemed 'too late to fix'.

 

I wish I could've gotten angry at you for not doing everything you could have. But I can't even get angry because we are human. We will make mistakes that break relationships. Because it prepares us when we meet the next special person.

 

It just sucks that you made up your mind. I wish I could change it. But then again, we all wish that. And in the back of my head, I knew it.

 

I wish I could text you now, ask you again. But there's no point to that is there. It's better than at least we don't resent each other. I don't think I'll stay another year here in this country. But you would feel guilty if I told you that. And the crappy thing is, I feel like you're a great guy, and you'll find yourself a new girlfriend in no time...

[SeriousAsparagus]

You just broke up with me half an hour ago. I'm grateful you drove to my house so you could talk with me and tell me in person. I wish you could've given us another chance. I wish you didn't end it not blaming either of us, but only saying it was your fault because you felt bad. I wish your conclusion wasn't that our personalities didn't match. I wish I could've kept you from leaving. You were nicer today than you had been in the past month. I wish you told me more about what bothered you instead of letting the resentment build up to the point that you deemed 'too late to fix'.

 

I wish I could've gotten angry at you for not doing everything you could have. But I can't even get angry because we are human. We will make mistakes that break relationships. Because it prepares us when we meet the next special person.

 

It just sucks that you made up your mind. I wish I could change it. But then again, we all wish that. And in the back of my head, I knew it.

 

I wish I could text you now, ask you again. But there's no point to that is there. It's better than at least we don't resent each other. I don't think I'll stay another year here in this country. But you would feel guilty if I told you that. And the crappy thing is, I feel like you're a great guy, and you'll find yourself a new girlfriend in no time...

 

But still. I wish we didn't.

[SeriousAsparagus]

I loved you so much. But you already knew that. And it hurts. But we both know that.

[SeriousAsparagus]

When I talked to you friend last night, I realized a lot of the things I did wrong that might have hurt you without me knowing it. If you had told me, I would have stopped. Maybe things would've gone differently... But I thought to myself when we broke up, if I had convinced you to stay, I can see you drawing yourself away from my touch, from my gaze, and that's also painful. I want to be with you again. But of course I can't say that. I just don't want to write to you I can change, because if you still loved me, maybe you would've believed that.

[sorano]

Yesterday, I was going through my wallet to clean out some stuff. And yes, I found the jeweler card that I saved when we went to go look at wedding rings. YOU took me to go look at rings remember?

 

Now if you recall you heartless POS, you tried on so many rings, styles, etc and you FINALLY found the perfect ring. The right style, size of diamond, etc. I know how picky you are and with everything in life, you can't make a decision and are never happy. But with this ring, you nailed it you said.

 

In back of the card, has the name of the diamond, the cut, size of your finger, everything. It has all the info. so I found that yesterday and started laughing. Maybe a few months ago, I would have broke down and cried. But this time, I didn't. Yes I felt anger and rage. very angry. I wanted to take a baseball bat and just start breaking things. Today, I just dont care anymore. Its all going to be ok.

 

You did not deserve that ring. You don't even deserve those little toy plastic rings that you get from those 25 cent machines in the supermarkets. That, is even too much. I had such a nice and happy life. You came into it, turned it upside down and ruined it. I was a nice guy, a gentleman, a family person, always smiling and would do anything for anyone. You, the false hope, I should call you satan, just came in and messed it all up. Go to church and apply some holy water on you while making the sign of the cross.

 

I really do feel bad for the next guy in line. He is going to have his work cut out for him. Thank god you are someone else's problem. I know I have said this many many times. But every time I write you a letter, I will always end it the same way because you ruined my life. Italians take things to heart and we are very warm people. You are lucky.

 

I do not wish you well, I do not wish you peace.

Edited May 15, 2016 by sorano

[SeriousAsparagus]

I really miss you this morning, but it'll be okay.

The truth is if you were really into me, you would've worked out our personalities.

[Trinity_84]

I am back home now, living with my parents. It's been tough, after traveling for over a year (most of it with you). I wish I could write you and tell you that I'm sorry for breaking up with you the way I did. Listing the things I disliked about you was a cheap shot and I feel so sorry, you didn't deserve that after all you did for me and us.

 

I want to tell you that I am not well today. I wasn't well when we met. I wasn't well throughout our relationship. You tried, you really did. But I need professional help. I really did need to go off and work on myself.

 

My only regret in our relationship was not having the tools or the maturity to deal with things. That I wasn't happy, like you, that I have low self esteem and that because of that, I didn't think I deserved someone like you, and I sabotaged all our good moments with petty fights and always focusing on the wrong things.

 

If losing you is the price to pay to better myself, then I'll make it worthwhile. I'll better myself, or try really hard at least. Because if I lost you in vain, then I don't think I could live with myself. Don't get me wrong, you weren't perfect, and we were opposites in many ways, but I am sorry for the way I dumped you. I know it hurt you--it would've devastated me if it'd been the other way around. I know you'll be OK, you're tough like that, but I just wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you that I'm sorry and that I did what I could with the tools I had at the time, and they weren't the right ones.

 

I hope we both learned from this relationship, so our next one is even better. I will love and care for you always, even if you're not in my life anymore. I will think of you (just as I still think about my exes from my youth). Hope you think of me and remember the good things. I know I will.

 

(I guess I have entered the acceptance phase)

[SeriousAsparagus]

I woke up missing you. Thinking that you were still here since I dreamed about you. I dreamed that you understood me, that you wanted to work on us.

I just missed you.

 

I always have this phase where my subconscious dream about my exes in an alternate reality

 

But the truth is you chose to leave. The truth is maybe you just fell out of love. And the truth is...

[SeriousAsparagus]

I've been keeping myself really busy lately, because I don't want to think about you. I don't want to be mopey and feel ****ty because I already feel ****ty.

As I'm taking a rest day to prevent myself from burning out, I realize I'm still not that happy. Im really happy when I'm busy, but when I'm not, the feelings from our breakup take over. These days I read a lot of breakup articles and of moving on. They tell me to say more, even if I feel like I've already talked about you to death. But there are things I haven't said.

 

I'm angry that you couldn't accept me for all the flaws I had even though I tried my best to compromise with yours. I'm angry that you didn't want this anymore. I'm angry that I didn't listen to myself in the very beginning when I thought our relationship had no future in the long term. I'm angry that because of you, I think there is something wrong with me. Some character flaw that everyone can see. That because of you, I'm working so hard to be aware and change. In truth it's not necessarily a bad thing, but because you chose to leave, I feel like nobody can accept me as I am. If I stay this way. I'm so scared of being lonely, everyone is. And it really is hard to make amazing friends at our age. I'm really angry that even though I tried my best to understand you and yield to you, you couldn't understand me. You always told me 'in Rome, do as the Romans do.' But there is a reason you can tell Romans and outsiders apart, it's because they are not the same. I can work on myself, but I don't want it to be because of guilt and wronging you. I want it to be because I want more for myself. Im not doing this for you.

 

This is exactly how it should have been. This is exactly how it is.

 

And when I am over you, I'll feel like my happy self again. Confident, beautiful, thoughtful, open minded, honest, loyal. I'll feel relief and I am over you. I feel happier already.

[edgygirl]

2 years without you, this week. I thought I finally forgot you.

 

I thought the last year was good with hardly remembering you.

 

So why the H did you sneak in my dreams this night? Why did you come back and hug me and we snuggled and it was perfect in my dream?

 

I hate you. Go away from my dreams. And my thoughts.

 

I need an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

[urmysong]

It's been 3 months now since You broke my heart into pieces. I am weighing things and still cannot understand why Your just throwing our almost 9 years. Now, I just feel so much hate You but still so much love also. How can You dump me this way? How can a 56 year old man will just dump a 28 year old woman? You were the first man in my life. You were my first love, my first kiss, my first of everything. You were the only man in my world. I am always faithful, loyal and good wife to You. I want to die cause I couldn't take the pain inside anymore. But our son needs me. I have to let You go and let the love inside go away. But why Your still here in my heart? I cannot understand. I thought I can forget You but You keep coming back in my mind. I want to rip my chest and replace my heart. I hate You, I hate You so much...but I Love You too so much...

[Trinity_84]

Hey person,

 

There's some stuff here boxed up that you left over a year ago, you probably don't even remember, with that awful memory span you have from smoking all that weed. I'm going to throw it all out; also I'm not even sending that other stuff back (even though I said I would) because I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING **** ANYMORE.

 

Have a great day now,

Your lovely ex

 

ps: I'm keeping your DVD's and that book you said I should read. Cheers.

[Sunnymae]

Why did you tell me that you would be my boyfriend, why did you discuss living together, and what it would be like coming home and having each other. Why did you tell me that once your divorce was final that we would live together, that you were interested in a future with me

 

Now you tell me that we have nothing in common, and when I tell you I can work on that you tell me that you learned from your ex wife that people don't change, and that now that your divorce is final women on dating site that were not interested are suddenly are, that you changed your mind and that you need sometime to clear your head, why did you ask for your keys back? Why did you lead me on just to breakup after your divorce. What a cruel monster you are for three years I was there for you, helping you through your depression, helping you get a home, I was there through your hard times, I know you didn't live me at first but lately I felt you did, you lead me to believe you did and it's hard to think you lead me on like this . I trusted you with my heart and you ripped it out.

Now I must forget you, delete the good times, extricate you from every fiber of my body. I must remember what a monster you really are how you lead me on, and used me to get through your divorce. I still want you but your a bad addiction, one I need to abstain from. How I hurt. I hate the dreams , why monster why do you tournament me in my dreams, how I wish I could move fast through this misery. How I hate you for this pain. Yes you lead me on and, you have hurt me. I hate you for what you have done. But then I long for the times we spent together. I hate that your last email you called me called me a dear friend. And ended it with XOF( love you as a friend)

[SeriousAsparagus]

I wish I didn't miss you. That you're not always in the back of my mind. And that I'm not wondering whether you've moved on enough already to date again. That I know full well none of that is my business anyways.

 

I'm not as okay as I usually say I am. I can tell because I've let my room be so messy for so long. I think it's like an unconscious part of me that hasn't yet gotten ready to move on.

 

I wish the things I do for myself to find the little joys, didn't have your shadows hanging in the shade. Haha I'm waiting for that day.

[toastytiger]

2 years without you, this week. I thought I finally forgot you.

 

I thought the last year was good with hardly remembering you.

 

So why the H did you sneak in my dreams this night? Why did you come back and hug me and we snuggled and it was perfect in my dream?

 

I hate you. Go away from my dreams. And my thoughts.

 

I need an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

 

Reminds me of this song:

[Unsur]

I'm so stupid, today I found your old love letters. You know the ones, where I split up with you and you wrote to me to tell me how much you loved me. How you will always love me because I'm your first love. Reading those letters was so hard because I know now that they aren't true. You wrote them near the beginning of our relationship, 9 years later they don't mean a thing. You forgot me so fast, you moved on way too quickly, I just don't understand it. I think of you every single day and I bet you don't even give me a second thought. It must be so easy for you, you have someone else to warm your bed. Do you think of me when you are with her? Do you compare us both? Is she just a distraction or is she the real deal? I want to think that she is a rebound, I want to think that you'll split up soon and you'll come crawling back to me but I guess these are just fantasies now. I don't want you back even if you did come begging. We had something special, we had only each other but now thats not true. It makes me want to jump in to bed with the next person I see just so you can hurt the way I do. I won't though, I have too much respect for myself, not to mention that it terrifies me to be with someone else. How did you do it? Was it nerve wracking? Did you think about me when you were with her for the first time? I doubt it.

 

You broke my heart, I'll never forgive you.