No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[peonyrose]

Struggling so much tonight, its been one of my worse nights. I still can't believe it you who's done this to me. Nobody can make sense of it, my family are angry they keep asking me what the hell happened for it to go like this, and I have no answers. Not that I want answers for them, its my relationshi, my pain, my mess to fix.

 

I should hate you for what you've done, but I can't , and I don't know why. Yes I'm so angry, but I still can't go to the place other people do. We were inseparable, we did everything together in our personal life, and we both wanted that, I'd say to you to go out and do stuff with work mates all the time and you'd say no babe, I want to be with you. Our drives on a Saturday and some nice food, our breakfast in bed on a Sunday. What happened?, what happened you?. I'll never get it, never!

 

You just upped and left, a few weeks of fights and you leave, we've been through so much worse. I don't get it. Blocked and no contact, I've never experienced that and I can say if I meet another guy in the future which feels impossible now, I would never do that block someone on everything trick, its cruel. You did it immediately, which left me with no way to get closure. Because you ended us, and in such a cold horrible way, I deserved a chance to speak, I'm that kind of person, who needs to say their peace then I can accept and move on. I didn't get that.

 

I think unbooking our holiday last night, the one we spoke about so much, it was our time to enjoy each other. Well it hurt like hell cancelling it while you've booked your holiday home I'll be here wondering how it got to this.

 

I should hate you but I can't ..

[Chuff]

It was only 3 months, if that, and I feel so stupid for getting so attached. So many red flags I chose to ignore. I think I fell for your potential, not you. And you definitely had potential.

 

You had asked me once to be my emergency contact for my races. I had a serious accident yesterday, but declined transport because I knew you'd be called. Oh, I wanted you to know, but I also didn't. I need to change my info before my next event.

 

You gave up a really great thing. But because of your walls, you will never realize the truth. You're halfway through your life - I hope you get your **** together but I don't think you ever will, unless you stop drinking, and smoking, and toking, and watching hard core porn.

 

omg - re-reading my last sentence and wondering wtf was I thinking dating you in the first place??? lol

[Sunnymae]

I want to contact you, and ask if I can come over. But, I know you'll blow me off with your list of excuses, and I'll just be hurt, and appear pitiful, and you'll just avoid me more. I want to ask if you're sure you don't want a future with me, even though down inside I know you're not my life partner, and we would never last. I would just like to hold you and forget everything, but you would just remind me that nothing has changed, and nothing I do or say will change your mind. Maybe I'll ask you and you would say, Maybe after a month. But that's just you stringing me along. I'm hoping that you'll let me come visit. But I know you're really not interested, but still I hope. Even writing this I feel so pitiful. I know nothing I say will change your mind. How could you be so nonchalant and admit that yea, I used you as a crutch to get through my divorce. Who does that. Why do I even want someone like this, someone that lacks integrity, that wants money over friendship. You knew I was getting feelings for you but you used me right up to the point when your divorce was final. Why would I want someone like you, No, I'm not interested in being your friend. Thank you for leaving me, it's no loss.

[TimmyC]

I sincerely wish I never met you. Guess what I was doing last night? I was up again from yet another nightmare because of your hurtful words and emotional abuse. I was up trying to convince myself that I'm not a monster or a bad person. Do you even think about how much you've ruined my life? Every single day I wake up I have to keep finding a reason to live, because I feel like such an insignificant person. God I hate you so so much. It's been 4 months and yet my heart still wants you, for reasons I don't understand. I lost who I am as a person, I don't even want to live anymore because of you. I've been through so many breakups but never were these girls as callous as you. Of course I'm sure you don't care about me, I'm just another dumb 23 year old to add to your collection of broken hearts. I once wanted the best for you, but now I find myself hating you. Not because of the breakup but because of your abuse. Every night you lay down to sleep in someone else's arms, I lay down trying to hang on to one thing to live for, to smile for. I'll never be the same, nor will I ever be happy again. I wish I never would of met you or taken you in. I wish I would have listened to everyone.

 

If one day I end up taking my life, I hope you realize it was all because of you. All because of the hurtful things you said to break me down as a person. I hope you spend the rest of your life in guilt knowing your words took a life. Your an evil evil person.

[justanickname]

Finally I could be able to let you know about how you made me feel. It was not the best way, since I expected a talk but it turned out text. I really don't know if you ever care, anyway, I know I would be fine, and I am fine.

There is nothing else I can do. I am fine, but it is, still, a pain in my heart. I loved you, and maybe still, less but still. I tried to deny but I have to accept it, finally.

No worry, I would never contact you first again. You need peace, you need silence, you need time. You have them all, I promise.

Maybe I am not the one you choose, so you have treated me like that. I do wish if you could find the one you love, treat her/him properly. With time, we will all forget it. But it will take time, at least for me.

A scar, but it will be healed perfectly, I know that.

[JFReyes]

If one day I end up taking my life, I hope you realize it was all because of you. All because of the hurtful things you said to break me down as a person. I hope you spend the rest of your life in guilt knowing your words took a life. Your an evil evil person.

 

Don't even think about this. At 23 you have a long life ahead of you and these feelings shall pass. You'll also meet someone that will treat you best, just be patient. Moreover, you don't know if she'll feel the guilt you're hoping to achieve, so it would be a waste. In the meantime, get help from family, friends, church, doctors, wherever you can find it.

[Sunnymae]

I sincerely wish I never met you. Guess what I was doing last night? I was up again from yet another nightmare because of your hurtful words and emotional abuse. I was up trying to convince myself that I'm not a monster or a bad person. Do you even think about how much you've ruined my life? Every single day I wake up I have to keep finding a reason to live, because I feel like such an insignificant person. God I hate you so so much. It's been 4 months and yet my heart still wants you, for reasons I don't understand. I lost who I am as a person, I don't even want to live anymore because of you. I've been through so many breakups but never were these girls as callous as you. Of course I'm sure you don't care about me, I'm just another dumb 23 year old to add to your collection of broken hearts. I once wanted the best for you, but now I find myself hating you. Not because of the breakup but because of your abuse. Every night you lay down to sleep in someone else's arms, I lay down trying to hang on to one thing to live for, to smile for. I'll never be the same, nor will I ever be happy again. I wish I never would of met you or taken you in. I wish I would have listened to everyone.

 

If one day I end up taking my life, I hope you realize it was all because of you. All because of the hurtful things you said to break me down as a person. I hope you spend the rest of your life in guilt knowing your words took a life. Your an evil evil person.

 

She wouldn't feel guilty , she would only think less of you if you took your own life. I've felt depressed as well but didn't want to take my own life b/c I wouldn't want him to think it was b/c of him. I wouldn't want him to think he had that much influence on me. You gotta do what's best for you. Set small goals for yourself. Take it in segments, keep pushing yourself to get past this. It'll seem that you're not making headway, but as long as you're trying it will happen. The best revenge would be to show her that you don't need her in your life. Go on POF or Tinder. Get together with a friend or make new ones. Go on a meet-ups. What did you do before her? It'll take many small steps to get over her. Do it, like Nike says just do it.! Be a fighter don't give up, she's not worth killing yourself over her, instead focus your energy on moving forward. It might seem your not getting anywhere but remember you're floating, so start swimming. Don't let this monster destroy you. Check out the link I sent. Keep posting, and if you need a friend I'll be here for you! So get off your pity potty! Keep in touch!

 

limerence.net - Index page

[justanickname]

 

If one day I end up taking my life, I hope you realize it was all because of you. All because of the hurtful things you said to break me down as a person. I hope you spend the rest of your life in guilt knowing your words took a life. Your an evil evil person.

 

TimmyC: Like other two posters said, dont waste your life because of any person. Life is precious to waste for someone. You think of that because for now you hurt and you are overwhelmed with negative thoughts. Noone deserves to make you kill yourself, you are still very young to change your life. Try to find someone that you can talk to, someone that values you as you deserve it. With time, it could be healed. You can overcome it, and when you look back, you wont regret that life is still much more to figure out.

Send you all the best thoughts.

[Sunnymae]

I got a very brief email from my ex. That said "What's new?" I responded with "what's new with you? Then I responded again with "actually there's a lot that's new call me" pressed send. I kept my phone with me anticipating his call, feeling anxious to the point I almost got sideswiped by a car. I was feel depressed and feel like I went backwards Again. Hating myself for being weak. When will I learn. I can't believe I was so stupid and set my self up to get hurt again. Of course he never called. I have to remember not to respond to his emails. I've been trying to figure out how to block someone, but haven't figured it out yet. Feeling embarrassed, humiliated, and so mad at myself.

[SixxChick]

For the past three years, I have watched you and your flailing business. You have lost client after client due to your depression, anxiety attacks, low self-esteem and just lack of fessing up to anything adult. You have two problem children. Perhaps it is time to put aside your hobby and get a real job. Man up, and do it. Because I am not supporting you anymore. I never should have. I try to see the best in people, but you are just a downright loser, taker and bum. If you could read this, I am certain that you would gaslight and blame me for everything going wrong in your life. That's why you are not getting anywhere. Gawd ... I dodged a HUGE bullet when I kicked you out. But you did break my heart with all of the lies. Why did I believe you? You gave me a ton of red flags. You are never going to change. So, good luck to the next supply source. Trust me, she is not going to be as understanding as I really, really tried to be.

[TheSwanGirl]

I'm having a set back. I missed you like crazy today as I was planning my vacation - the first one without you. We used to have so much fun together... What happened to you? Don't you miss us?

 

I feel you're forgetting about me. It hurts too much. It's painful living today without you. Tomorrow will be a better day. I promise that - to myself.

[AlexisRose]

I searched....as I always do.

And there you were. Only in the background but my heart skipped a beat.

So I'm on this forum now....other people's problems distracting me and giving me somewhere else to be.

But I see your eyes in my head still.

Stop staring.....

[justanickname]

Was I surprised because of your action? Not really.

How funny that I cried and then recognized it was for nothing? You really didnt appreciate me, you took me for granted and you didn't care. Why don't I let you go? Why I hold this again and again?

I really need to let you go, to set me free.

When I can be able to see you there without any emotion, like any other persons, when I can be able to not to write those like this, I would totally be free.

So I know I am not really over you yet.

I will be fine, I am fine.

[Trinity_84]

Dear x

 

Today has been rough because I started to think about that huge fight we had that one time, when I told you that I was only insecure about this person because they were like a mystery, because you were friendly with them when I wasn't around but when I was you acted like they didn't exist, because you had feelings for them at the start of our relationship but claimed to have moved on thanks in part to me and the love I showed you.

 

I hope you're friends with them again because you needed to fill the void I left when I moved out and broke up with you, and because you have truly moved on from that part of your life (and moving on from ours) and just fancied their friendship. I hope that you claimed you weren't interested in their friendship because you were interested in mine, and the preservation of our relationship.

 

I believed you when you said you had moved on and that the love I gave you was a big part of it. I believed you because I am that loving and caring. I never believed you, however, when you said you weren't interested in your ex's friendship. You were. You were probably dying to hang out with them more often. You guys were mirror versions of each other and had everything in common. I met them on my own accord and befriended them. So I get it, I know why you're friendly with them again, they're great people!

 

Usually the simplest explanation is usually the right one. The simplest in this case was that you didn't feel right to be friends with this former "soulmate" of yours while you were with me, because your own actions caused me to be insecure about the subject and it brought on a lot of fights. But once I was out of your life, you felt it was OK to rekindle that friendship.

 

I would've loved for you to really listen to me when I said I would have liked to meet them and hang out as friends, so I could clear out all the mystery you had created about this subject. Since you were so over it, right? But you never made it happen. You were too scared to have us both in the same room. Why? Because you'd feel nervous and you knew I'd notice. I noticed everything about you, your body language, your mannerisms, because I have a keen eye. Had you really no feelings for them anymore? Or were you gaslighting me the whole time making me feel like I was insecure when I really was just really intuitive?

 

Remember that time you opened up your big mouth and mentioned those two friends of yours that had dated and broken up? How they remained as friends because they lived in a small community and it was for the best? Remember how I asked you why you and your ex didn't do the same being in the same situation? Remember how mad you got at me for talking about it? You didn't have a comeback for that, remember? Because you knew I was right. You knew you didn't want to remain friends with your ex bc you still had feelings for them and you were a coward to have us all hanging out. You made me feel like a fool that night.

 

I'll never get the answers for these questions. At the end of the day it's all water under the bridge. I just wanted to tell you it's all resurfaced. I feel like **** again because of this. But I won't let it disturb my process, I have been doing really well until now. I still wish you all the best, and honestly feel in my heart that if this person truly is your soulmate, that you should go for it. I took all I needed from our relationship to make my life better, and I moved on from my past in part thanks to you and the love you showed me.

 

Love,

y

Edited June 30, 2016 by Trinity_84

[Trinity_84]

Yoga helped loads.

 

Namaste.

Edited July 1, 2016 by Trinity_84

[SixxChick]

So, you dropped off $200 cash yesterday. As is customary, you left it under my mat because your checks are worthless. Guess you didn't know you screwed over the wrong person. I'm kind of surprised. I gave you a five-day grace period. And it is a holiday weekend. You paid promptly on the 1st.

 

As sick and twisted as this sounds, I still kind of wondered. You didn't want to see my face, hear my voice, apologize for screwing me over, or thank me for what I did for you (and your kids). Perhaps your new supply source is assisting you financially. Heaven help her.

 

Whatever. I'm going shopping, and am going to donate half of your payment to charity. Additionally, I'm going to have an awesome weekend without you. Your loss.

[RocketQueen]

Yesterday was a milestone moment for me, my daughter going to Prom. Looking beautiful and grown up.

 

I felt pretty alone while waiting with her friends and their parents/partners for their limo to arrive and thought of you often because up until a few months ago, you had asked if you could be there.

 

Then you message my daughter to say '********, You look beautiful- very much like your Mum, have a great night xxx'

 

My first involuntary action was my heart skipped a beat then I just wanted so bad to message you to **** off.

 

I feel like I've stepped back a few places overnight.

 

Thanks, A*sehole.

[Traceycprc]

Mornings are the worst for me, and this morning in particular is very painful. It's a nice sunny day, we should be out walking spending the day together, but you are doing that with her now. Why should I be in so much pain, when you have moved on so easily? I guess you had lots of time to move on, when you claimed she was just a friend! I'm not tempted to contact you because I can't face the rejection. I'm on my 4th day of NC. I will make it somehow, I'm dragging myself out of the house to enjoy the sunny day for myself.

[Hoosfoos]

I saw your car the other day when I was driving by my usual route. I haven't seen you (my choice) since you left, so the experience was very surreal. That it (me and you) actually did happen.

 

It ruined my weekend.

[Nowty V]

Two months out of a four year relationship. I'd been here before, invoked the systems that had worked before, but maybe too efficiently. I was coping, doing good, being positive.

 

I had gradually been aware of her in my mind less and less, not the first thought in the morning, not the last one at night..

 

Today I feel bathed in a shroud, feeling of impending doom, she does not enter my mind in vivid images any more, but her spectre haunts me, catches me up.

 

I have a sensation from nowhere that I'd like to sit in her company, however who I had been sitting with during the relationship was ensconced in chemical dependency.

 

I wish she'd cease the chemicals and contact me to apologise, but that's so not going to happen. When the ghost rattles & moans I always get that thought.

 

It leaves me feeling sad, and in the queue for a one way ticket to 'down in the dumps'.

 

Imaginary guitar solo's exist only in the mind of the imaginer.

Edited July 5, 2016 by Nowty V
typo

[eternalspotless]

I have dated many women, but I have never met anyone like you. You have confused, hurt, angered, and disappointed me over this last year. You are incredibly immature and illogical, wanting to move in when neither of us are ready. You wanting to start a family while I'm at university, and because I refuse, I don't care about you? You getting pissed every time I do something that makes me happy, and bringing me down? You are the most bitter person I have ever known.

 

You have never been truly happy for me. You have never encouraged me to go for anything without being pissed when I finally do it. You are weird. For such a young woman your views are strange and narrow-minded. Yes, you helped with certain things in my life, but I don't need you anymore. You won't be hearing from me again. Of course I will miss you, that's human nature. But that doesn't mean I will lose any more of my dignity for you.

 

I don't think you know what it means to live in the real world. You have these weird notions and ideas. You want to do this or that and your plans change every week. You're not deep enough for me, either. You are too 'surface-level', talking about every little thing that comes into your head. I require more depth in a person. I require someone who doesn't judge others. You don't have the ability to self-soothe, and I can't stand your ever changing moods and persona.

 

I lowered my standards for you. I was vulnerable and thought you were the 'one' at the beginning, but you aren't. You misrepresented yourself, too. I thought you were more mature, more of a woman. To me, you're still a girl. I know what I want in a partner, and it isn't you. This break up has liberated me, so thank you.

[TimmyC]

I never thought I'd be writing this but suppose it was inevitable. I saw you pass by a couple of days ago with a new man in your car. You are a discusting human being. Now you've found someone else's life to ruin, part of me wants to feel sorry for him but you've filled me with so much hate I stopped caring. Maybe you two are right for each other. Maybe your both equally screwed up in the head.

 

Whatever it's no longer my prerogative to worry about such a discusting person like yourself. I think the best thing I can do now is to move forward while I still have my youth and forget you even exist. Then I can heal from the pain you have caused me. Such an unjust world, people like you can use and abuse good people and throw us away like we are trash. I hate you so much your such a heartless person.

 

I'm taking a stand now, your no longer going to run through my mind. I deserve so much better than what filth you can offer me. It's time I stop sabotaging potential relationships because I'm stuck over you. You deserve no part of my kindness. I'm sorry I ever let you in my life and invested as much as I did. I'm done letting you run my emotions, I'm done feeling like there is something wrong with me because you had to say such hurtful things.

 

**** You

 

-Sincerely

 

The guy who's no longer your victim.

 

*God that felt so good.*

[Nowty V]

 

 

It leaves me feeling sad, and in the queue for a one way ticket to 'down in the dumps'.

 

 

But Yay for production line work for the depressive, as therapy it is bar none in my experience. I don't have time to think, just do, eight hrs of enforced 'back office' processing.

 

I hope she is well, all I was hitting myself with was a sponge hammer

 

Imaginary guitar solo's exist only in the mind of the imaginer.

[Trinity_84]

Dear X

I was reading The Power of Now today and arrived at the chapter about emotional relationships. Everything he said on there applied to me, to us. How you were trying to make me see the light, but I wasn't ready. So we split like "oil and water." It was like an "epiphany." I see myself moving from anger, resentment and indifference, towards gratitude and, let's face it, a bit of bittersweet regret.

 

And that's my own making. You told me these things I am seeing now. You had gone through it yourself. Maybe it just wasn't good timing. Maybe you didn't know how to be patient enough with me, maybe the combination of your impatience, anger and my insecurities and impulsivity caused everything to bottle up and explode like it did.

 

I am kind of split right now. I don't know whether I should feel sad that it took me losing you to realize it (the way you said it would), or if I should just feel happy that I met you and you gave me all these life lessons that I will take with me for the rest of my life now. I wasn't lying when I said you were the love of my life. No one had caused this in me, this need to change and be better. Because I want to be now, knowing I can find someone like you in the world that can love me for who I am... maybe one day when I feel better about it all I will meet someone like you again and I will know how to truly love and trust them. I can only hope.

 

I don't know if we'll ever meet up again, I don't see how, seeing as we live in opposite sides of the world now. I don't even see the point in that, anyway. We have both clearly moved on and it was for the best.

 

Nevertheless, it's a bittersweet feeling, knowing I had you, a great partner, a very intelligent, funny, polite, honest, and wonderfully clever person. You are a good person, X, and all the ****ty things I said at the end don't change the fact that you know I know you're a good person. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you otherwise. And I am a good person too.

 

At the end of the day, we lived what we had to live together, we experienced some amazing things and some absolutely heart-destroying things. We held and were there for each other every time. We were vulnerable with one another. And that is a bit like true love, isn't it? I like remembering these things, thinking of you fondly. It always makes me cry, because I know it was all real and I wouldn't change it for anything!

 

Love always,

Y

Edited July 6, 2016 by Trinity_84

[justanickname]

So, it has been more than a week. I am getting better with time, till today, I saw you there. Not really sad, but seeing you don't care at all, I felt I was such a silly person to chase you, the one who never cared.

I believe it is totally the end. I don't believe that one day you will contact me again, no I don't think so. Neither do I. I told you everything so there is nothing left to say.

How ridiculous, I could recall few months ago, you told me I had obsession of you leaving me, but the ending story was I initiated the end. Well, no regrets. I realise the emotion ran its course.

Peace for you and me.

Take care, as always.