No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Nox]

How could you fall in love with her? How could you give in to those emotions?

 

I feel double cheated because I too felt that we were drifting apart and my emoltions for you grew "colder" as well, and I was also approached by other people, but decided to stick to you. I decided I'd rather try to make it work with you than go for a fresh start with some other guy... And while I was comitted to that, there you were, first flirting with her, and then being with her for months! And I begged you to tell me if there was someone else and you insisted there wasn't!

 

A**hole! I hate you. I hope you end up miserable with her, bored of her, sick of her, and then come back crying to me... Then I will show you what a true heartbreak really is. How the **** could you stop loving me? But that's the part I can't blame you for, no matter how much it hurts. How could you lie and decieve me??? I wish you all the worst, I don't care how negative that might be. I wish you realize how it sucks to lose me and I wish you never find happiness again.

[Tone Loc]

I come to this place once more because my mind demands it. It's been a long time since I last used this space. It feels good to be back here, it brought me a measure of comfort in the past and now once again my thoughts lead me to this place.

 

So here is another message about you. I miss you every day. It's been difficult not being able to spend entire days, weeks and months in your presence as we have done in recent times...but I am actively aware that there are people out there who are suffering with real tragedies, so who am I to moan and ramble about the insignificant events of my insignificant existence! And yet here we are, once again, because even though I am aware of how utterly insignificant this is, it still continues to sadden me. And here I am, missing you every day despite you being the single most harmful influence in my life.

 

I'll continue to indulge in this monologue and ramble on about myself. I do this for me, because the mind demands it. And who am I to say no! So let's continue.

 

I'm anxiously anticipating the arrival of next Sunday. What will happen by that point? Will I have heard from you by then? Will I get to see you on that day? Will I finally have the chance to kiss you, hold you, make love to you and tell you how much I love you, after months of separation? Will you even want anything to do with me? We'll find out very soon. I'm nervous about what's to come next. Not just between you and I, but with regards to my personal life.

 

You are a bad person. You've harmed me in ways that I've never experienced ever before, not even at the hands of my most severe adversaries. You've managed to do what no one else has been able to do. If I continue to associate with you, I know full well that you will actively seek to harm me in even worse ways. I know all of this, but I've chosen to live with it if it means we get to be together. Now that's what you call rock bottom. It's a nice place to be and I won't have it any other way. Do whatever you want to me. Use me and abuse me in any way you want. I don't care very much about the consequences. I'm much more interested in living in the moment - thinking about how incredible it'd feel to see your face again and to talk to you, spend time with you, and feel satsified in your presence. Nothing else has given me that feeling, you're the only thing in the world that makes me happy and that makes you important. That's why I need you. This must fit the definition of love, if there even is such a thing.

[SixxChick]

I hope one day you will realize that I did truly care about you. It's been almost a year since I have seen you and I know that you are still struggling in every aspect of your life. I know for a fact that it's even worse because you are going through life with blinders on.

 

In hindsight, I was your rebound relationship. I wish I would have found this website before I got involved with you because I became so blindsighted by your desperation. It wasn't love. It was a bunch of words that activated your survival mode when you had nowhere to go or no one else to turn to. Not having any friends to turn to should have been one of the BIGGEST of the gazillion red flags that I was too blind to see.

 

Even though you don't seem to miss me or appreciate the lengths I went through to put up with your chaos, I did believe in you. What a colossal waste of time, energy and RESOURCES that was. If one fine day you finally do get your head out of your arse, I hope that you regret everything you have done to me, and all of the damage done.

 

If some day you try to come back, I won't be waiting. I may have been worthless to you, but is that why you are still paying me back monthly? That's the bright side of this story, because I have you running scared. You forgot what I do for a living and who you screwed over. I could have walked away. It would have been a small price to pay to eliminate a toxic person such as yourself from my life. But you chose to be a major league dick about everything.

 

If I am now worthless to you, I hope you will miss me when I become priceless to another.

[HeartbrokenHooligan]

I seriously don't know why we had to break up. instead of really working things out without you having to be upset at me all the time.

[RyanO1991]

Hi Helen. I know you're finding it hard to make a decision about us so I thought I'd make it easier and explain that I don't think a relationship with you would work.

 

The fact that you're struggling to decide between Michael and I suggests to me that the commitment, loyalty and sacrifices I've given you over the last 3 years clearly don't mean much to you. I can't be with someone who has never really loved me.

 

I can't be with someone who doesn't respect me. I used to trust you completely but I think that was a mistake on my part.

 

Keeping me away because you need your own space to make a decision makes sense. But if you're so confused, the fact that you're still keeping Michael close to you when you have feelings for him doesn't make sense. I think you're just keeping me on standby in case it doesn't work out with him. I deserve more respect than that. I'm not prepared to be your second best.

 

Be careful with Michael. It's nice that you've found someone who makes you feel good, but lasting love rarely develops so quickly.

 

Remember that this is a guy who was proud to tell you he shared a kiss with Emma when she was in a relationship, and he happily made romantic gestures to you when he knew you were already in a long term relationship. Try not to make the same mistake I did by trusting and committing to someone who might not deserve it. I don't want you to get hurt.

 

Try not to let this happen again. Be honest and don't say you love someone when you don't mean it. I know you want to get married and have kids, but that can never happen if you pursue somebody else whenever your relationship gets hard. Remember to communicate and work to improve things. Maybe some relationship therapy could help you.

 

By the way, Chris was on Facebook and noticed you've got some bad language on your profile (he said I should print it off and post it to Lansdowne lol). You'd better take that down. If you're under investigation, they'll almost certainly look at your Facebook profile.

 

Good luck with everything. No hard feelings.

[NotASkunk]

I wish you could have put yourself in my shoes for just one time. You would have been able to see how much it hurt. I had to hurt myself in order to hold onto you. And when I tried to fix that I wasn't believed. All of it hurts. And I've lost you anyway. Ill forgive myself one day.

[Trinity_84]

Hey

 

I never replied to your message like I promised myself I wouldn't. You never wrote again either, so I guess that's that.

 

I am moving to another country in a couple of months, by myself. To a country I wanted desperately to go to before I met you. A country I put off because I met you and you wanted to live somewhere else. So we went to that place and our relationship didn't work out.

 

So now I am going to this country I have been thinking about for years now. Alone! I am extremely happy. This is how I always wanted it to be. I will make my own destiny, my own friends, my own life. I will live in a big city that is full of culture, art, music, food, good education, people and wonderful experiences. And mayb--definitely I'll meet someone new there. And this person will not influence me to move for them. They will admire my strength and courage, my talent, my passion, my lust for life and they will respect me. Just like I do.

 

I don't need you anymore, I don't love you anymore and I am certainly doing very well without you. Who would've thought? The woman whose boyfriend was her only source of happiness proved him well wrong. How does it feel to know that? That I picked up my stuff and left, and a month later you were out of my life forever? Never looking back? Did you think I was going to wait for months for you to take me back like you pretended? Ha!

 

For the first time in my life I am looking forward to the future. So thank you for not taking me back and for acting the way I did the last time we spoke on the phone, I would've been stuck in that ****hole futureless a place living through your dreams and goals (or lack thereof, actually, you have NONE! What's that about?), your idea of what life should be like, your tastes and NOT MINE! And my dreams, my goals, my tastes and my idea of life are ****ing AWESOME! So again, thank you.

 

x

Edited October 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[heartbrokenlady]

I miss you. I miss the mundane day to day things. Leaving you in bed when I got up for work. Texting you in the day. Sitting on the sofa with you, watching tv.

 

Your voice. Your touch. You making me a cup of tea. You obsessing about the toothpaste tube. Even your moaning. All of you.

[countryfeedback]

I'm realizing shedding teers at this point is waste of of time. I feel as if you only mirrored what I was looking for in a relationship, sometimes you would slip and show your real self. Four years and I still don't even know you, only your past and the behavior that confuses to no end. It makes it even more inconceivable that you would "stalk" me even though you knew I still had feelings. I tried to make the embarrassment fall on me. What happened was that you threw me under the bus, not only that you decided to get "bored" again. This is a game to you? On closing - My friends will never be your third wheel! Better come to me with one hell of an apology/explanation or let me move on.

[Baileylovesloki]

I try to explain it to my freinds but it's impossible. They say get laid move on.

They don't get it.

 

I once knew some one who got mauled bye a dog, whenever they came across a strange dog or came across a area like the place they were mauled at they had a anxiety attack.

 

My ex is like the dog that bit me. When I venture into her area I get nervous,

I look over my shoulder, I feel anxiety, I feel panick, I feel ill, around every corner the dog that bit me may be there lurking ... Waiting to bite me... She will be there smiling. .. Laughing... Taking selfies of her fabulous life to post on Facebook... She ll be there with some one new. My throat tightens just being where the dog that bit me dwells.

 

I venture into the forest to hike but it's still too close, her family camps out here, Every passing vehicle has her in it grinning ... Smiling. Taking selfies of her super fab life... It's her. In that new truck going to my old camp.. 1000 square hectares of Canadian forests and she s here in that mans truck.

 

It's a disease of the mind. It's a addiction to a person... The same way ppl are hooked on heroin and they try to quit. But the heroine messes with them. Tells em. It's just a taste. It be ok.

 

I will not crack. I will not message her anything and give her the power!!! She wants my power

I will fight this addiction ... I did not see her in that guys truck... Taking selfies ...

It's my mind messing with me. It's your mind messing with you... We see our ex s everywhere. We are trying to sell it to ourselves that we can contact them and we won't be rejected. But we're smarter than that. We know they want to bite us. Reject us. Tell us how great there lives are without us...

I will never crack. I will never make contact. I will over come this if it takes me years. I will find some one as smart as I am who understands this and who does not need constant attention to feel good... Attention is there power.

Never break contact if some ones leaves you for no good reason...

Don't crack...

There looking at there phone now saying why won't he/she message me begging.

Cause they want to reject us so they feel powerful.

We put them on a pedastle. We manifest there perfection in our minds . They become our most perfect specimen. It powers them up and drains us.

I have to write this here cause our freinds don't get it and they don't want to hear it.

Any contact hurts us. Even knowing my best friend is still hanging with my ex cause he s related is bad news. You will eventually hear something that hurts if there's any contact.

That's why you and I can not crack. We can not send that message.

My mind is playing tricks on me. I am selling it to myself that I can write her and tell her she forgot her toothbrush so she can giggle and grin and make me her slave.

Edited September 18, 2016 by Baileylovesloki
Spelling mistakes

[Sunnymae]

I want to be with someone because they want me, not because they feel obligation Ugh...Repayment using sex is prostitution, I guess that's what you did.

I helped you b/c I wanted to. I'm mad as hell that You strung me along because of your sense of obligation. Is this why you stayed with me for 3 years?? Thinking back now, on some things you said stick out on my mind, such as "you've been so good to me, what kind of monster would I be if I left" or "you saved my life" Geez I feel stupid. Guess what C **** this is just the way I am. I'm a humanist I believe in helping people, and expect Nothing in Return, Nothing.

If someone does something for me, I think they did this b/c they wanted to.

I don't think " gee, this guy bought me dinner, I have to have sex with him"

Now I understand why you were hesitant about me picking you up at the airport, You thought I'm going to feel obligated.

Oh my god! And of course that's what happened, you felt soooo obligated that you made false promises that you couldn't keep, then ****ed me, even though you've had no prior interest for the last 4 months. After that day you did the cowardly thing and ignored me. I didn't deserve, being lead on , or false promises of being with me, then not contacting me, no text, no calls. You gave me hope for that that one day, hope that maybe you might be open to a reconciliation.But now I realize that you just felt OBLIGATIONS. How about you just not lead me on. I tried just being friendly, but I didn't realize that when I picked you up at the airport, you felt like you were on the hook to repay me back, and that's why you f***** me Argh..you are like a prostitute.

I was with you because I actually missed being in your arms, and though my brain said no It felt heavenly to be with you, wanted to be intimate with you.

 

You were not obligated to me. I helped you out b/c A. I wanted to spend sometime with you as a friend, and b/c I didn't have anything else going on, so I offered to pick you up. After all we do basically connect, and enjoy each other's company, at least from my perspective.

I know I said I wouldn't text you, but I just had to get this off my chest.

[Baileylovesloki]

Today was exceptionally hard.

I could not master my attention.

It was a rollercoaster. I felt every emotion a human could feel all to the most extreme state.

I want to make contact. I want to text her and tell her what I think. I want to tell her that I saw her snickering and giggling at her phone when she said it was over. I want to remind her that when her daughter asked if we could work it out she rolled her eyes... I wanted to say all of it... But the truth is if I say it. I'm saying it to get her to respond. Because no contact is getting to me. I' want to msg her and tell her I hate her. But that will be giving her the power. Attention is her power. She craves it and I fell for it last time she made contact with me .... No contact is the tool to heal. Breaking contact is pain. Any contact is power. A ex will take that power and use it to better themselves bye soaking us and treating us like a chicken wing.

So I vent my hatred about that narrcasitic bitch on here. Because our freinds can only listen to it so much.

If anyone reads this. Silence is our revenge. Telling the dumper off only gives them what they want. Which is attention

Never break contact

[Baileylovesloki]

Awe last night was one of the roughest yet.

The fear of losing her. The truth is she s already gone and nothing I can do is going to bring her back. Contacting her to have that " talk" would not a brought her back it would have only hurt me, made me weak and pathetic. It would have brought shame.

So I went from having the worst night yet, to having a great day, I feel powerful , I feel intelligent because I did not give into my fear and desires, I did not send that email last night and I got through it.

You need to walk away after being dumped and never look back. You need to love yourself and move on and the right person will come to you!

Contacting is the wrong thing to do. It feels like the right thing to do but it is not!

From a horrible day and night, to a fantastic day!!! This is the power of no contact. This is the power we all have within us.

[countryfeedback]

I know the next time I see your face I'm going to have a breakdown. It was already hard enough to see pictures of you on Facebook, I had to block all our mutual friends. For someone who avoids confrontation like the plague, you sure do start a lot of drama; you seem to thrive on it. I tried to move on years ago but you wouldn't let me go. Seriously you knew I was crazy about you since we first started talking, but you only came running to me for emotional support when ever you got dumped or split with whoever. I was fine with being just friends, but that's impossible when you use everyone with an ear to lend as a third wheel. Instead of spending so much time playing games with my head, why don't you spend that time working on yourself. I'll always love you, but I need to get away.

[jonsnuh]

I'm envious of your success. You are light years ahead and left me behind to pursue your career. Things could have been so much different, perhaps in a different universe, another lifetime.

 

Sometimes I am so sure that we were never meant to be. To never cross roads and to see each other again. You are a reminder of what could have been, my insecurities, and who I strove to become.

 

I wish I never did meet you. There's a saying that goes: We should never meet our heroes. This rings true. We were young and stupid, and I was foolishly in love with you. Stuck in time and not wanting it to end.

 

I can never go back now. I have to plow through with my goals and my happiness. You could have been an option at one point in our lives. I made mistakes, and you made yours.

 

I hope you rot in hell.

[almond]

Day 1 of NC. The love of my life, after 9 years, gone. The hope that we will reconcile...I feel it will damage me. We are both hoping for reconciliation but waiting for something that may never come will kill me, and every day he doesn't come home will feel like a painful rejection.

 

I need to be smart here but I'm breaking and terrified. Losing him is something I fear I will regret for the rest of my life.

 

I had no idea it was even possible to feel this bad. Fck.

[CFI]

We haven't spoken since September 7th, exactly one month after you dumped me after spending 2 years and 8 months together. While the breakup was handled as professionally as one could get, you treated me disrespectfully in the end and we cut all contact. I don't miss you after I saw how you would behave to me. I miss intimity and sharing my life with someone I love. We cut out each other from our lives as abruptly as we've met and started our relationship in 2013. The circle is closed now. I just don't know how it could end like this.

 

We planned our future, marriage and that we would have kids together. Now the only thing that remains is how we want to forget each other and cut all ties, which we did. Now it's like we have never met each other. The only reminder is a little box with your mementos that is buried well deeply. Besides that it's like those years have never happened at all. I actually find this almost unbearable and sad.

 

I don't want to have you back, I don't love you and can't trust you anymore. I got out of the relationship stronger than I was before. I just want you to leave my thoughts forever. I want this sadness to end.

Edited September 23, 2016 by CFI

[almond]

Day 2. I miss you so much and I hope you're okay. I see you everywhere and in everything and it hurts so much. I've never felt like this in my entire life, and I can't wait for this to pass.

 

You're amazing and I hope you can heal and find what you're looking for within yourself. I hope I do too.

 

One day soon I hope we find each other again but I also hope that I have the strength to let go of that hope somehow. I need to do that because I need to come out of this on top, and as soon as possible.

 

Fck this. I love you way too much for this to be happening, but we love each other way too much to watch the other be unhappy any longer.

[Baileylovesloki]

The longer you go no contact the easier it is.

My last break up I was a slave... We were messaging everyday all day and it made things worse.

If you break contact your going to hear something you don't want to or your going to here things that you want to here which is worse. Things like oh I'm unhappy. Oh I'm not seeing anyone. When you hear those things it gives you hope and it charges the addiction and you keep contacting .

When you go no contact you realize why you broke up.

I was attached to my ex. I loved her. She was attractive. But not as perfect as my mind is making her out to be.

Take control of your thoughts.

I had some of the worst days of my life doing no contact but it's getting better everyday. I know if I message her I will be rejected or worse.

We all have a little deviant narcissistic personality in us.

No matter how nice your ex is. You did something and they want to hurt you.

[almond]

Day 3. Spoke to one of our best mutual friends today, and you've just scored your first big gig as a DJ. We were so so excited for this...you've wanted it for so long. You're doing it without me and it hurts so badly that I can't be there to see your dream come true for you. You practiced for so many hours and are so good and so passionate.

 

You'll do amazing in front of a crowd and I'm not going to be there to encourage you and help calm the nerves, or dance and yell out at you while you're playing, or run up and grab you once you're finished and tell you how amazing you did. I'm so proud of you and I wish I could share that joy with you.

 

Fck. Tears have come.

 

Yesterday I decided that I'm going to book a flight to a SE Asian country and travel alone like I've always said I would. I'm going to go for a couple of weeks and work in an orphanage. I'm going to yoga and meditate my head off in the mountains somewhere and I'm going to book my flights today.

 

I'll always love you. I hope life brings us back together one day, healed, and after all this growth and changing. We needed this, and no matter what happens, it was for the best.

 

But still...

 

KILL ME NOW. Ugh.

[Nox]

Remember us back in 2013, 2014? Heck, even 2015 up to maybe a year ago... Remember us?

Why would you, in all honesty? You forgot how great it was as soon as hardships came along. It's the memory of how great we were and the faith that it was our essence that made me stick around for so long. It surely wasn't your horrible behavior, draining my energy, my money and my time. It was the faith that deep down you still had what it takes to be my man, that we were going to rise above the difficult times and make our dreams come true (move in together, get married, have kids).

 

Instead, you did what? When problems appeared, you avoided honest conversations and you turned your back on me, got interested in the first girl who came along and started cheating on me with her - I was just there when you needed to pour your problems on me and take money from me. How could you?

 

You wanted things to work without working on them. You didn't wanna admit to a problem honestly, admit to attraction to another woman, nothing! No wonder we had an expiration date. (And when I think that you insisted everything was ok just so you could take my money, it really makes me sick to my stomach!)

 

I loved you so much. I was so committed and loyal. I stayed true to you even when things got ugly. Our dreams were my goal and I worked on getting there. I did my best to make it work.

Of course, I must have made some mistakes as well. If things got ugly I can't be the only saint there. I'm guilty of something as well - of the fact that I stayed in a relationship with you for such a long time. Red flags were there almost from the begining. I had a million reasons to leave. I shouldn't have listened to my emotions, I should have listened to my intuition.

[Humantk]

I've been lost trying to think about why you left me. I've come to the realization that the last year we were together I did not love myself. And why should you love me if I don't love myself. I back down from most arguments, because I felt like I wasn't worth it. You stuck around a long time, I don't even blame you for leaving anymore. The last year we were together I stopped loving myself. I realize that now. With everything that has gone on, I just gave up on most everything. I use you as my sole source of happiness and pretty much everything. You can't do that to a person. Too much stress, too much pressure.

 

But I'm changing. I'm becoming who I was, I can feel it! I really want you to come back, I can't ask you to come back though and that's what was so tough for me right now. Our best friends are having a baby together, they told me. I didn't even know I was the only one they told so far. And I just want to share that with you, and talk about how amazing it is. But I won't, I need you to see me for the person I have become, who was also the person I was when we met. I don't know when I'll see you again, but I know I will, and I hope at that point we can start fresh. I still love you. I always will.

 

But you asked me to respect your wishes for space and I will. I'll keep focusing on myself and growing more in love with myself. I always felt you were the one for me. You made me feel whole. I lent on that too much. I'll be hoping for the best and planning for the worst. Thank you. Thank you for all the good times.

 

And thank you for letting me say that here instead of to her. I just want to call her and tell her all this, but now is not the right time. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Osmium13]

Every time I see you it burns a hole. It shouldn't, but there's no getting away from the fact that I've fallen hard. Bloody idiot. I'm not sure how I deal with it, but deal with it I must

[Bialy]

I wish I didn't think about you every single day! Argh. I want to reach a point where you don't cross my mind as often as you do now.

[Baileylovesloki]

If you are struggling with no contact know this.

It works! Not as a way to manipulate your ex back but it works as a way to heal yourself. It feels like your doing the wrong thing. It goes against everything you feel but it's the only true cure. You can say things to yourself like oh it's all good I'll just msg her about the dog or cat or whatever it's all good but it's taking value away from yourself.

I have been Holding no contact for four months. I loved my ex as much as you loved yours.... But n/c works because it rebuilds self esteem, it restores everything the person took from you! And you ever notice the people that dump us take all the power with them!?

If your struggling know this. It gets better every day your rebuilding to the point where you will realize what a waste a time he/she is.

 

If you are doing no contact as a way to get a ex back. Sure there gonna come back to you. Sure there gonna contact you, But be aware. There gonna dump you again at some point.