No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[layla21]

Why do I still think about you even though I don't want to?

 

Why am I still missing someone who let me down, disappointed, humiliated and disrespected me in so many ways?

 

Why do I still want you back even though I am so bitter, angry and full of hatred for you?

 

Why am I still waiting for a message from you during the NC?

 

Why do I still wish deep down you will send me something, message me or come back to me during Valentine's like in the old days?

 

Why are still you making me this pathetic? Wasn't it enough during the relationship when you were already shutting down emotionally and let me do all the work?

 

Tell me please, why do you keep on torturing me like this?

 

I know why but please, please just go.

Edited February 7, 2017 by layla21

[Crystal1111]

Good morning. I miss you so much!!!! I love you!

XOXO

[Baileylovesloki]

It's been ten months, it has not been true no contact because I have to see you for work related reasons.

The truth.

I am not over it.

I miss you.

I am thinking of you all the time.

It is pathetic I am weak. I lie I say I'm over it, I try everything. I try self help videos, I try positive affirmations. I try dating. I am stuck.

I see you. I see you happy, your happy because you have attention from your male orbitors. You smile, you wear pants so tight all the guys can see your ovaries.

Does this make you happy? Are you happy? Are you happy?

I don't know. I'll never know.

I want to talk to you, I want to text you, I long too touch you.

Women move on fast. I got word today that you moved on with somebody new a while back, actually a long time ago.

Guess I kinda always knew, but needed to hear it.

I think my buddy told me this information so that I move on.

It's not going to work.

It's been a roller coaster.

Why do we do these things to each other ?

I want answers.

[Baileylovesloki]

Your far from the hottest. Your far from being a ten.

But I loved you for all the right time reasons.

My love was real, it was wanting to grow old with you, it was excepting you would age. It was real because I didn't wAnt other women.

I crave you, attachment to a human is the perfect drug. This is a addiction, and seeing you ignites thoughts, the thoughts gonaround and around like a wheel.

I can't control them, I struggle to message you, but I can't. I never can, you will only reject me and empower yourself.

10 months of this ****. When's it end.?

You never suffered, you just moved on.

7 years together, millions of good times, a future, All gone and you didn't seem to care.

I want to talk, but that's pathetic. It will turn you off.

10 months and I'm not over it! Do I need help? Or just a new woman?

[lounat]

One of those bad days. I miss you.

[Crystal1111]

Good night. I miss you and I love you!

 

p.s. I'm really looking forward to the anger stage. And I promise it's coming!

[ainoviere]

I still miss you. I wish you hadn't given up. I wish I could show you how much I care.

[Shehulk]

today is SO painfull, 4 full day of NC (5 at the end of today) and all i wanna do is text him or just go at his place. had a dream about him and now i feel like ****. i would give anything to get you back in my life. we have so many good memories and just the taught of you being with someone else makes me wanna vomit. i love you so much. we were great together and i know we can be even better, i just wish you wouldnt have given up on us. it takes me everything to not text you rn. I wish i could hate you for making me feel like that but i cant.....

Edited February 9, 2017 by Shehulk

[Baileylovesloki]

On a daily basis I am forced to venture into where you dwell.

My heart pounds and my knees feel weak, my anxiety peaks and I feel nautious I drink water and concentrate on breathing. I struggle to hold myself together and not show any signs of weakness in front of you and you male orbitors.

I sweat and I tremble.

I was so in love, I adored you so much, I thought we would be together forever

It wasn't love, it was a attachment it was a addiction, it is still a addiction, like a heroin addict looking at a bag of h, like a alcoholic outside a bar.

I am tormented, I still suffer after all this time.

I need true no contact.

I lie I say I'm over it. But it's all a lie.

I heard you found some one new and so on, It hurt s. Hurts like the first day you left,

I'm a mess, just like the first day.

How many more first days.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of suffering. I'm struggling with the illusion of action. I want to write you and pick a fight, want to provoke so we can talk.

Are you provoking me with your flirting in front of me and acting like I don't exist.

Things were better when I was in a situation with true no contact.

No Facebook. No Twitter. No seeing you.

Why do humans do these things to each other?

Or is it what we do to ourselves?

Really I'm doin it to myself! My mind is torturing me, It wants its drug. It wants it s fix. I'm in withdrawal ! And my mind is finding ways to make contact.

Edited February 10, 2017 by Baileylovesloki

[newheart]

Dear you:

 

We didn't 'officially' break up but I know it is over, I expressed myself and left things in your court, and you've dismissed me once again, needing time to 'sort this out' and not having any contact for several days. I set my standards last time you did this, and I will not beg for you to talk to me. It is over.

 

Still, I don't understand. If I did things differently, where would we be? Would it really have made a difference if I had asked you where we stood last month, if I had asked you your feelings and what you saw for our future? Because this has been on my mind, and I am sure you've known, you've asked me frequently what was wrong. If I had had this conversation with you, if you had told me, would I have needed the in-person reassurance, would this blip have even happened? If I didn't express that I was disappointed to not see you for dinner, as benign as that was because I just thought it was important to communicate this to you, would we still be together? Would we have had the wonderful weekend I would have expected, if I just never called you that night?

 

Even so ... I can't imagine how someone can so quickly disengage. How you don't think of me, over my birthday weekend, over any weekend really ... how you remain silent, how you stay away from someone you care about ... how you read my text that says I love you, and you don't respond.

 

As cowardly as texting a breakup in your 40s may be, I would have rather had you do that, than the silence. It is the silence that kills me.

 

How was I so wrong about someone, again?

[StrangerThanFiction]

Ex,

 

You were far from an ideal boyfriend. You did things repeatedly that I told you I didn't like and asked you not to do. You messed around with other women. You complained about me to anyone who would listen instead of talking to me about it. You took me and the things I did for you and for us for granted. You lied to me again and again. You manipulated me and my feelings for you. You always brought up your exes. You were controlling. You would never admit when you were wrong. You held your actions to a complete double standard in comparison to mine. You made all these plans for a future together when you never had any intention of following through with them, you just said all that to keep me from leaving. You tried to make me feel like I was somehow an inferior woman to the other women you dated because I didn't "need" you for financial support. How messed up is that? Wouldn't you want to be with someone who contributes to the finances?? No, of course not, because that comes back to your control thing. You want a woman to "need" you because that gives you the power. Ugh. You're such an insecure man and I allowed your insecurities to bring out my own. Our relationship wasn't healthy.

 

Yet here I am, still hurt, still angry, and still missing the few good points of what we had. And there you are, totally over it to the point where I don't even cross your mind. **** you. Right now I hope that you go from one empty, meaningless relationship that will never go anywhere to another. So basically, just keep doing what you've been doing your whole life. Just keep going for women that'll play mind games with you and use you, because that seems to be the type of woman that really grips you. Or maybe go for your good buddy's amazing wife, because the last time we talked I got the sense that that was in your plans. No, you didn't say it, but I've known men like you my entire life and I can see it. You always want most what you can't have.

 

Yeah, I'm angry. Damn rights I'm angry! I swallowed your sappy BS, spoon and all, and I fell in love with you. I believed what you told me and I trusted you. Then you breezed right out like I was nothing at all and you left me heartbroken and wondering why once again I wasn't enough. Why every time I allow myself to love someone again they decide I'm not what they want and then they're gone. In the past, they've all come back at some point and I turned them down because by that point I had scraped myself and my self worth off the floor where they left me and I knew I deserved better. But not you, you won't come back. You're of the mind of been there done that, got the t-shirt, so onto to the next notch under your belt. It burns my a** that I won't get the satisfaction of turning you down. Of making you see what you gave up.

 

But, this too shall pass and one day it won't matter to me anymore. I believe this. This is just one more thing that time and working on myself will heal. But for now, go to hell.

[smellysocksuni]

Hello, ex. It's been two years since you so cruelly left me and showed me your despicable true colours. I'm not able to fall asleep, so I thought I'd come here and let it all out.

 

I remember the way in which you left me. You embarrassed yourself by talking to other men online, forgetting to disconnect your iPad. I saw everything, yet you still managed to make me believe it was somehow my fault! You told me you did it because you "wanted to feel desired" - trying your hardest to justify it. You showed absolutely no integrity, no loyalty to ME, the person whose home you'd moved into, whose home you were living rent free in, whose home you were still living at the time you were sending nudes.

 

That was a heartbreak I will never forget. I will never forget the way in which I was trapped in my own bedroom, in my own mind. I will never forget the way in which I screamed like an animal and cut my own arm in a bid to release the awful feelings that were consuming me. I will never forget the way I felt when you came over to collect all your things. I will never forget the way I used to break down crying in the street. Although I will never forget any of this, I am no longer there, I am no longer that person.

 

I was such a weak person when you and I met. You hooked me in, as people like you often do to others. You made me believe you and I were on the same wavelength in every aspect - writing me love letters, telling me what you knew would make me fall for you. Little did I know that once it became mundane, your true colours would slowly creep out of your pores. You blamed me for everything, you told me I wasn't a good partner, you made me question my own sanity on hundreds of occasions. You even hit me and then blamed me for making you do it. And, because I was so hooked, I didn't think any of this was wrong. I didn't realise that you were and still are a nasty piece of work.

 

The guy you're with now (well, when I last knew anything about you) - you told me he was 'nice', and that you didn't want to 'mess it up', because he was so nice to you. I know that nice is what you prey on, now. You do this so that you can manipulate and control, so that they submit to you. People are merely objects to you - you get what you can out of it, then you disappear. You don't exhibit a single trace of loyalty or integrity. You are horrendous.

 

You have this IG page where you show off your work. You have all these followers - you think they like you. They don't. They just like your work. You as a person are pathetic. I have nothing but pity for you.

 

You had the cheek to address me on social media recently - it confirmed that you are still monitoring me. Why, after two years you are still doing so, I don't know. I didn't bother to reply or acknowledge you. I am not the person of two years ago, so I find this laughable. No longer do I pray for any reconciliation.

 

I am with someone else, now. She has seen me when I've been broke, rich, lonely, depressed, happy, fat, thin. She loves and appreciates me no matter what. She has integrity and loyalty in abundance. I trust her implicitly - she'd never do what you did to me. I know that you saw us together; I'm glad that when I finally did walk past you it was with her. I hope you sat in your chair and squirmed. I hope you felt like an idiot.

 

To many it may sound like I'm harbouring feelings for you, still. I am not. I am merely experiencing a realisation of the biggest kind. I am so much better than you and I cannot understand why I ever gave you the time of day.

 

I am experiencing closure, and I never thought I would. I cannot wish you the best. I wish that you do experience a painful lesson, one day. One so painful that it wakes you up, and makes you understand what you've done to so many people. I am so grateful for the pain I experienced, as it changed me and I am SO much stronger than I have ever been.

Edited February 14, 2017 by smellysocksuni

[MeadowFlower]

Don't bother coming back.

[newheart]

For some reason, I feel more unsettled today than I have lately. Perhaps it is the fact that I am going into my first weekend with the full notion I am single, since the words were not officially said last Friday. Perhaps it is because I was just thinking about your voice, the last time I heard it when you sighed and asked if we could talk about it after you were done with what you were doing, and the fact that I was pretty sure you wouldn't call back, but I didn't think that was the last time I'd hear your voice. Maybe it is because I am not sure, now, that you cared about me at all the last few months, maybe you were just going through the motions. It didn't really seem like it for the most part, but I just don't know.

 

I wish you'd stop visiting me in my dreams. It is every single night, and it is exhausting. A few nights ago, it was breakfast at the diner with your sister, where we kissed and I squeezed your knee under the table, and we just looked at each other and knew we were going to stay together. The night before last, you were at my house while we were throwing some sort of kids party. The dream wasn't about us, but you were there, there was still an "us", and things were good, which I guess makes it even weirder. It was just our normal relationship, in the background. And then last night, all I remember is laying next to you. We were both in bed, laying on our backs side by side, staring upwards, and you whispered, "I love you." I wasn't even sure I heard you right, but I panicked and thought of other times you said it when I did not respond ... a year ago, now. And I didn't want that to happen, so I told you I loved you too.

 

Today is only 4 days of no contact, although in reality, we haven't actually communicated in ten days.

 

Oddly, most of the time, I am filled with a heavy sadness but also an understanding of why we can't be together, and why I need (and deserve) someone who communicates with me, who loves me, who tells me, and I dare to feel hope that I might actually have that one day. Today, I just feel sadness that I will never have that with you.

[countryfeedback]

It was you that gave me this 100 yard state, it was you stalking me online. I happened to find your posts online describing your "love" for me, yes I feel guilty for seeing your personal writings and reading some of them. The difference is I approached you. I tried to talk to you understandably, yet you lied in my face and went in a smear campaign. I accidentally went to where you work and you called my by that nickname. How dare you, how do you sleep at night.

[Lost2017]

Ive been writing at home but now Im sat in work and finding it harder not just being able to scribble things down so thought Id try this, right now I want to say

 

Ive made peace with the fact I did all I could to help you, I see that I couldnt have done more, this was your battle and I wanted to fight right alongside you, you just wouldnt let me! Why wouldnt you let me? is it because you think Im weak? You told me I have dealt with much worse and come out stronger and you are right, I have, but I dont want to come out of this I want to go back! I see you have problems, I want to be with you, I dont want to be another person that just leaves you, why wont you let me? Over time there hasnt been any constants in your life, no one who was there solely for you, I was, I was stood with you even when you couldnt force yourself to look in the mirror I patted you on the back and got you through, I did everything I could, I just dont get why it wasnt enough! You told me if it had been my issue youd of stayed but since it was yours you didnt want me to deal with that, but I wanted to, we planned a future, we dreamt of that and now thats been taken away all because right now you are struggling with something!! I have said many times come back when you are in a better place if you need to leave now I just fear you wont! I was ready for it, ,I was prepared and yet now I am left with nothing but memories!

[newheart]

I never planned on having more children, especially at this age. But after I fell in love with you and I watched you play with your nephews, I thought about what a wonderful father you'd be, and I knew that I would have been happy to have a baby with you. I thought of it, often. I remember the night you told me that your life's biggest tragedy was that you never had children, and that broke my heart. I never discussed this with you, or with anyone. It was just something I kept in the back of my head, in the event our relationship progressed beyond what it was. I miss you.

[NotASkunk]

In my situation being friends with my ex was not possible. Sexually we had a really nice relationship and were enjoying each other in that department. But I loved him still and he thought nothing of me except as somebody that he could use for sex and to spend the night when he needed to be in town. Otherwise he would just pay for sex. We had a fantastic exchange over the weekend, he was nice enough to listen to me and share my excitement about a new job opportunity. As we said goodbye we talked about our next hook up and how we were horny for each other and I asked him to save it for me and he told me "it's a good thing there's not a lot of P---- up here". My heart dropped. I realized I was being used. I thought that we were seeing each other because we might want to try to make it work out again one day. And I was wrong. If he wasn't seeing me he would have to pay for it because he lives in a dismal small town and he is only average looking, short and has a poor job. with the skills I've learned about respecting myself I knew I had to turn my back on him and never look back. You can't be friends with somebody like that. Somebody who deliberately hurts you when he knows that your heart is still in his hands. It's actually very liberating! I am proud of myself for ending it this way. I only wish I had not berated him and called him a bunch of horrible names. I have a lot of anger towards him because of the things he did in our relationship. Good riddance. I finally feel free for the first time in a year and a half.

[sorano]

Its been 13 months since you threw me away like a old pair of shoes. Yes I have been doing better. Yes its time to move on. I understand. It still eats me inside on how you treated me. I did everything for you. I tried everyday to make you smile and feel like you were the only woman on this planet. I just wanted to see you happy.

 

Your little notes, the plans you had with me, the wedding rings you showed me, me meeting your family, friends, talking to my family about us having kids, how are house was going to look like, was all a bunch of lies. It was bull****. I, the sucker, believed every single thing.

 

You came in my life fast and furious, making me believe that we had a future together, put my nephew to sleep, sat down at my dinner table to only throw me away. It meant nothing to you. I know it didn't. It was a fairy tale you said remember?

 

I let you in. I freakin let you in. I opened up to you and gave you my heart. But you were reckless with it. But I will not cry anymore. You are not worth any tears.

 

It seems that you were never given that book that I received when growing up, on how to treat people and act like a human being.

 

Im pretty sure your dating. Probably have a boy friend. Hopefully he is not a sucker and you wont use him. I will just remind myself this......................

 

Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else. Our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate. I will pray for your disgusting soul.

[newheart]

I am so angry with you. You expressed that you wanted more time with me, but when I go out of my way to schedule my life around our plans, making our time together a priority, you then felt guilty and obligated to spend time with me? Which is it? It doesn't matter now, but F you. You didn't even see your part in screwing this all up. Just a few days before we fell apart, we talked this out and I flat out asked you then if you needed more alone time and you said no. You were upset with me for even asking! But then you cancel plans again, and get angry with me for being disappointed to not see you for my birthday. I guess you must have already been thinking it was over, it is the only thing that remotely makes sense ... I just don't understand why when you wanted to see me more just the week before. I don't understand why, the last time we had sex, you kept saying how much you missed me when we'd only been apart a few days ... then you just toss me away.

 

I hate how much I miss you, how it felt to have you draw me in to a hug, rest my head on your shoulder and breathe in your scent. You didn't deserve me. I should have listened to you in October when you said that.

[RoseHeart]

One moment I love you, one moment I hate everything about you and what you did to me. Just 3 weeks ago I was thinking I'm still in love and in a happy relationship with my best friend. Now you left me and threw everything we had away and it doesn't seem to even bother you. When you said you loved me, that I was your first love, that you are scared to lose me... how could you say those things to me and then go off and leave me. I know it's over for good but hear me out, I loved you to the moon and back and I hope one day you'll realize this and will then know the mistake you made and by then I'll be long gone:(

[newheart]

I am having a rough day. I love you, I miss you. I wish things were different. I know I deserve better, yet, I can't help replaying everything again and again to see if I had done something differently, we'd be in a different place.

 

I remember the first time I was out your house and we watched that ridiculous movie and you laughed and laughed with your cute laugh. I had a thought enter my head: I could listen to that laugh the rest of my life. The thought shocked me, I wasn't the type to fall for someone in ... 6 dates? I was like - where the hell did that come from!? But it was a genuine feeling at the time.

 

I miss that laugh.

[Cookies101]

Omg, how stupid i have bedn. You're probably dating somebody else...

Edited February 28, 2017 by Cookies101

[Jadedbyluv]

C - Words don't begin to express how much I miss you...miss us. This not talking is a lot harder than I was expecting. You cross my mind a thousand times a day. I want to tell you about what's going on with work. I want to hear about your day. But I know that's unrealistic and not good for either of us. Staying in touch is just me holding on to hope that one day you might come around.

 

So I never told you but I had fallen in love with you. I remember waking up next to you one morning and looking at you and thinking, "I love this man." When you woke up, you smiled at me with similar adoration. Nobody has ever looked at me that way. It was the perfect moment because it felt like real love. I wanted to tell you then but didn't. I am sure you sensed it, how could you not?

 

Maybe not intentional, but you broke my heart. You said you didnt mislead me but talking so much about the future gave me the impression there was a future. You made me feel like I was the only one, yet you actively had dating profiles. You could have ended things a lot sooner especially knowing I was developing feelings. Why stick around if you knew you weren't relationship material? Why continue talking about the future if you didn't see me in it.

 

Every day I go through a rollercoaster of emotions. Sadness, angry, confused, indifferent. One day it will get easier but I am not sure when. It has been over 7 years since I felt this strong about someone. It sucks to feel that loving feeling after so long just for it to go away.

[newheart]

Three weeks later, and I walk through the grocery store and see a new chip flavor I thought you'd like, and for a split second forgot that we aren't a "we" anymore, that I couldn't bring this to you and laugh about it.