No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[divegrl]

I wish I never saw you. Plz stop texting me. I unblocked you thinking that I'm over you. But obviously I'm not, because I have to come to this forum to write about it.

[always_heartbroken]

There are times that I wish I had never met you. You broke my heart 3 times but I kept going back to you because I loved you like I've never loved anyone in my life. I never gave up on you despite you continuously hurting me. I believed in you and I believed that deep down you loved me and didn't want to hurt me. How wrong I was.

 

You switched from reason to reason as to why you decided to break up with me and I don't have any clarity as to why you did it. One moment it is... "we've been arguing too much" (which btw is totally untrue), then it's "I'm confused about myself and my sexuality", then it's "in my mind, we're still together but I need a break, I need some space". What is it?? What do you want from me?? I did all that I could to be a good girlfriend to you, I know that because I made it my mission to treat you the best that I possibly could. And I did that. But even that couldn't make you happy. Even though I was happy. The happiest I've ever been.

 

After all we've been through I can't believe you could do this to me 3 times and give THE SAME reasons as to why you're breaking up with me each and every single time. What's more...I'm so mad that I fell for it and I let you do this to me despite everyone who is close to me telling me to run as far away as possible from you.

 

You are quite possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. You have caused me more harm than you ever did good. Half of my heart hates your guts while the other half still loves you. But I can't wait for the half that loves you to eventually turn to hating you as well.

 

I hope you finally realise what the hell it is you want and don't put anyone else through what you've put me through. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

Always heartbroken.

[cp30]

Dreams are often the cruelest.

 

I hadn't dreamed of you in a while, which I took as a good sign of progress.

 

That came to an end the other night. I dreamed that I was holding you and running my fingers through your hair like I used to love to do. I could *feel* you there. The weight of you in my arms, and the feeling of silk at my fingertips. But when I opened my eyes, you were gone.

 

I promised myself that you wouldn't get any more of my tears, and you won't. You don't deserve them much like you didn't deserve me.

 

But dreams are often the cruelest.

[Baileylovesloki]

How to murder a mans heart.

First, monkey branch to him.

Tell him how great and fantastic he is and he s the only one, tell him you'll love him forever.

Don't let the man have any doubts about this, make sure it becomes his belief.

Bring your children into his life, let his attachment grow for your children.

Have your children make him believe they love you.

Make this mans fears all go away, let him envision this perfect life of happy ever after.

Move into his new home, live there for free, when you lose your job, he ll take care of you and your children.

 

When you get a new job and you get a lot of attention from men, monkey branch to a new man who makes more money.

Start distancing yourself from your current man, Tell your man you don't love him anymore, tell him it's his fault because he is emotionally unavailable .

Plot your monkey branching hypergAmy plan behind his back.

Wake up one day tell the man you don't love him your leaving.

Move away with your kids, never let the kids talk to him again, bring your co worker home and live happily ever after with the coworker that made more than me.

Make sure your ex knows your with a coworker, rub it in his face and try and destroy the man that did nothing to you.

This is legal murder.

This is how a mans heart is destroyed.

We call ourselves human?

[DontBreakEven]

I don't know at this point if anything you said to me was actually genuine, which is ironic, since the reason I felt so attached to you was due to what I believed to be a rare, genuine connection.

 

I was shocked at how callously you spoke with me that last few days of texting. Well, actually your words (as always), weren't callous, it was the actions. Not responding to me at all on the Sunday, saying you were busy and would get back to me on Monday. Then finally on Tuesday telling me that to please not take your silence as you not being a d*ck, or not caring, and then going into your diatribe again about what a mess you are, and how confusing this all is, and how you need to get your sh*t together first, and how you had to pull back because you were having feelings, but you don't want to half-a** it with anybody, and you can't give any more right now until you can tie up the loose ends from your past.

 

Okay.

 

I bought it. I didn't like the way it was presented as a complete and total freak out, and a sudden need to walk away for now, but I bought it.

 

Until.

 

Did you have to make it so obvious on social media that you are dating that girl? I mean, it's highly possible that you are playing her just as hard as you played me, and the girl before me, and the guy before that. But ... I don't know that. All I know is what I can infer from what I saw, and it's clear that you are not "getting your sh*t together" at all, but rather just continuing what you have been doing, just with a different person.

 

It sucks. I thought you were genuine. I thought you were different. I thought you were someone that I could believe in, no matter how bad the timing was right now.

 

When you refuse to communicate with me, I will vilify you in my head. I already have. I seriously hate you right now. I also hate that I'm still bothered by this.

[ainoviere]

I felt that you were pulling away and I got anxious, and my attempts to reconnect and get closer didn’t seem to work, in fact they made things worse. At my lowest I felt that I destroyed something that could have been great.

 

I realise that there are some things on myself I need to work on. I don’t regret expressing to you what I felt I needed. But I am remorseful about the way I communicated these things to you (I left too late to be calm about it) and regretful that I didn’t back off as soon as it became apparent to me that you weren’t ready, willing and able to give those to me. I did feel that there was no issue that wasn’t so huge that it couldn’t be worked/talked through, but then I was just looking at it through my lens, and not through yours. Once I became anxious I was only focused on getting closer to you and soothing it, without regard as to how you may be feeling or consideration as to whether I was doing to push you away.

 

Now that I’ve time to reflect I feel that I was a nuisance and a bother to you, but at the time I didn’t see it. I wish you could have told me that, because that’s what I would have done, but then asking you to be like me is like asking me to be like you. We’re different and deal with conflict differently.

 

You have no idea how much I had wanted to reach out to you previously, but I know I’ve done enough damage.

 

So why am I writing this? Still seeking internal closure, I guess? Does it surprise you to know that even after all this time I still think about you? I am thankful for the experience and the time we did spent together. I hope one day I can look back on old memories and smile about them, and I hope the same for you too.

 

P.S. Not sure if you even noticed about the blocking, but if you did, just know it had nothing to do with you. It was a self preservation measure to stop the stalking.

[Late Nights]

Im 9 months in and i did all the above things wrong n pushed my ex gf away even more. I just want to tell everyone that it got to the point where i did all i could within my control and nothing worked. The only thing i could do then was to go NO contact what-so-ever. Afterall you already lost so what more can you lose now by doing NC.

 

To give everyone some hope i finally started NC in Feb.. to the point where she finally reached out after 2 weeks using the direct/indirect approach. Let me tell you if they do reach out Do Not bring up feelings. Keep it short and direct reply n don't let them know how you feel also do not tell them you miss them.

 

Since going NC i made her peruse me to the point where she would have to contact me. It was to the point where she still hit ME up once or every other week to the point where SHE finally told me she "misses" me. Ofcourse my response back to her was "oh yeah how much do you miss me"? We have to show strenght and not give in. She responded with an 'lol nvm".

 

Basically when they start contracting you have to respond and talk to them as a friend and keep it cool. After that text she hits me up the next day to go eat which i was surprised. I went things went better then i expected. There were still feelings as sexual tension between us which she felt comfortable making a sexual reference about me.

 

Long story short we are "friends" and communicating again but im continuing to give her that space she asked for and making her do 100% of the reaching out. BTW we are at the point where SHE wants to have sex again but our timing is off.

 

So tp everyone out there who tried everything to win your ex back.. i suggest going full NC because afterall you already lost them so what more do you have to lose by going NC? You will have nothing but gains. Im just sharing my experience with everyone in here. I hope this will lift up some peoples spirit. Im still going thru that same pain but its slowly getting better.

[Baileylovesloki]

I am the cause of my woman's dissatisfaction, I am the reason she misses so much work, dissatisfaction The real cause for divorce

The happiness she feels comes from how tight her jeans are at work, after all, the boys like her ass. Her happiness comes from them looking, paying her compliments.

Her dissatisfaction comes from me, a man that loved her, took care of someone else's kids, the man that woulda stayed with her regardless

Of how good her aging ass looks.

Her pleasure comes from the six figure incomes she works with.

Hmmm.....guess what? Last week I was the greatest man ever, But I mentioned my pay cheque was in jeopardy from a strike vote.

Hmmm.... guess who fell out of love?

Guess who is now in love with a coworker. Living the life.

How do her freinds and my old freinds look at her? How does her family not see? Is the world blind?

I love you meant . I love you for now . Till the next great guy come along.

 

Oh well .... hey! I got me !

If your alone and suffering like I have ..... hang in there. Hang in there. ...

Your not alone

[Altair0770]

You're still a whore.

 

And one day you will regret it when he dumps your ass because you do nothing but lie and think of yourself.

 

Every tear that comes out of your eye gives me satisfaction and motivation to be the best person ever.

[potestatum]

Thank u ex-girlfriend.

Thank u for destroying my ego.

For saying how many things I did wrong. Of how my character is not how it should be.

Implying how much better than me you are and how I am not enough for u.

What scares me the most though is that I am not enough for anyone else anymore.

[cp30]

Stumbled upon the engagement of two of my friends tonight...totally unexpected...totally strange that I happened to be there for it.

 

And while I was so happy for them, when I got home all I could think was that at 30+, I am nowhere near that because we gave up. Both of us did. We lost the power struggle.

 

I knew that with our age difference, we would have to try harder to make it work. I was willing; you weren't.

 

So while I am happy for them, I'm drowning in a pool of tears of what might have been. But you didn't want that. So I need to let go.

 

I wonder if there will ever be a man in my life who will choose *me*.

[LOSINGHOPE113]

F*ck you, ME? F*CK ME? No F*uck you, I gave you my life, you were the only thing that mattered in my life, I gave you everything, I was going to buy us a house I wanted a life with you and now it's so clear that you never wanted that, just how long were you going to string me along for, how long were you going to keep my hopes up that we had a future, it's so apparent now that you never did, and you'd never admit that not even now. You gave me no time, no love, nothing in the end. So why can't I get you out of my head, my stupid head only remembers the good times but i have to keep telling myself how long ago these times were I need to remember what you were like in the end not how captivating you were in the beginning.

[curiouslysearching]

I don't understand why you did this. When I met you I was in the best place in my life. Everything was amazing and I was super confident. Maybe that is what attracted me to you. I told u how crappy my other relationships were and that I was finally in a better place. You promised you would never treat me like they did and you didn't. For 6 months everything was amazing. And you agreed. I met all your friends, I talked with your family, we basically lived together and every day you told me how much you loved me. And then you f****ng threw it all away.

 

You were the one to pursue me. Why did you chase me if you were just going to walk away. I wish you would have just left me alone because now I'm in a sh***y place. I talked with your friend today, and he said you love me and that I've been the only person you have ever really loved. But you're going thru some crap. This at least gave me some validation that our relationship meant something. I know what you do and I'm scared for you. I know you're under a ton of stress and you trust no one in your business.

 

I won't be talking to any of your friends anymore. It just hurts too much and I don't want any updates on you. I just want you to know that you hurt me. That you ignoring me hurt like nothing else. That I cried all night last night. That I lost one of my big clients today so now I'm struggling financially on top of everything else. I can't believe you will just walk away from us because you gotta "focus". I'm so angry at you right now. And you know I have every right to be.

 

this is so sad to read

[Rebelnoir]

I miss you a lot today. I'm trying so hard to see the relationship and you for what it really was, but it's hard. Because I keep thinking about us. The good stuff. We were so good together and all of a sudden you just changed what you wanted. Everything we'd worked for. F*** you for that. You're weak. I don't know if you lied at the end, or from the very start. But some of it must have been. It's been two days since we last saw each other or spoke. I wonder if you're thinking of me. I wonder if you're even finding this hard or if you just switched off your emotions. I could see you trying to do that. Again, f*** you. F*** you for not allowing me to know the truth of what you're thinking. F*** you for letting me stay over, telling me you love me and want us to just this. If you want me out of your life I'm gone. I know that you won't believe me, because I've been so bad at walking away this past three weeks, but this time I mean it. I'm done.

[Rebelnoir]

Also what the hell was that look when I asked if you wished you'd never met me. YOU were just as involved in this as me. You told me you would leave, you told me you loved me, you told me this would work. I let you in, in a way I've never done before with anyone. That was hard for me. And I feel stupid for doing it. For opening myself up and trusting you with so many things. The intimacy we shared.

 

You told me last week to know that I am perfect, beautiful and this is nothing to do with me. That I should never change. If you could have me and your child you would. It's all BS. You could have that, you're choosing not to. You haven't even tried to make that work. In a way that's what hurt the most, you not even trying. It's like we've come full cycle, that weekend away with the towels and the end with the sheets. How f****** ironic.

 

The hilarious thing is even when everything has been destroyed you're still lying and covering up the truth. We've all got some big decisions to make. Have some integrity and let everyone do that with all the facts. I'll never be the one to say, because I do love you. But also because I won't be believed. Even with the proof I have. Can you not see where all the lying has got you? If everything's been destroyed for something that hasn't worked, make something good come of it. Start living truthfully. I know you won't. I know you. You will do and say whatever you need to get things as close to how they were before.

 

Despite this I still love you. I miss cuddling up with you on the sofa watching crappy films. I miss running my hands through your hair. I miss you holding me. Talking to you about the little details of our lives. But that man was a man who had faced up to his issues and was making changes. You're not him. You're a liar and a cheat. You're a man who is only thinking of himself and hurting everyone else around you in the process. Grow up. Be the man I know you could be if you just put some effort into your life. Stop telling yourself you just want it easy. That's no way to live.

 

I hate you.

[Altair0770]

Reaching nearly 3 months until you said the words that made me realize that everything I felt for you was a lie. Guess that makes us even.

 

You used me, just like you're using everyone else.

 

It was never about us being together, it was about you being happy because all you've ever known in life is how to be miserable. You expect others to come save you, and when they no longer provide that, you treat them like they were one of the two people that forced you into a corner, told you to strip and examined, touched, put things in places they didn't belong.

 

Is that why you're a monster? You see those that love you as the people that did this to you? If I were there, seeing you as a child, they'd both be dead the second they put you in that corner. Would you have blamed me for what they did then? Everyday I think about getting vengeance. Not for you, but for me. You have no idea what it's like to see someone you love break down in complete fear, all because you asked if they wanted to do something you asked to do so many times before we met. But what use would it do? It wouldn't cure the monster in your head. The monster in your heart.

 

You say love a lot. It's clear to me you don't know what love is, nor will you ever, unless it's for you, and no one else. You are incapable of putting yourself in other peoples shoes. When they leave, it's because you are the victim, despite that you do everything in your power to make them leave, including dumping them despite that they were there for you, always, despite how awful you treated them.

 

I don't need to hope you're miserable right now. Because you are, and always will be. And it's your own doing.

[Rebelnoir]

You're at a wedding today. I wonder if you're thinking of me and the times we talked about ours. I wonder if you're feeling like you did on NYE...that you should've been with me instead of where you are now. I doubt it. You've switched off. You don't know this but I have too. I love you, I wish things were different, but I won't let you do this to me again. I won't waste my life chasing after you. I've started thinking about what's best for me.

[divegrl]

Life is a gift

 

All else is imagined

[curiouslysearching]

Life is a gift

 

All else is imagined

 

I agree but also add that YOU ARE GIFT more like a TREASURE

[Rebelnoir]

You were in my dream last night. I hate that I never used to remember dreams, and lately I do. We were all on a night out. Funnily enough I'm dreading tomorrow. Maybe we're finally in the same place. These last few weeks we've been so far apart in our actions towards each other. I miss you but I don't want to see you, or speak to you. It's not best for anyone.

[Jadedbyluv]

Miss you more than you probably even realize. No contact is probably the only thing that will finally make me get over you but it's been so difficult. I just want to talk to you and share with you all about the last few weeks. You are the only person who ever seemed to genuinely care. Even if you pretended. You always seemed proud of me and I miss that. No you can't make up for others but it was nice to finally have that from someone.

 

This is the hardest break I've ever had. My heart really hurts. I thought I had finally found "it". I felt like I could finally stop looking. I was lucky to have you because people wanted what we had. It just felt right. We had it good together . And now I just feel like it's something I made up all in my head. I don't know what was real or not. And now not speaking to you makes me feel none of it was ever real.

[divegrl]

I've come to the realization

 

When we lose someone, they are never gone

 

They were always there

 

Separation is an illusion

[Rebelnoir]

Still miss you, but I'm angry with you too. Spent some time with the babies just now and my heart was literally full. I realised a few things- that I'll be ok, the world hasn't ended. And I understand only a fraction of the love that you feel for your child and I could never give it up. It's those little moments that can be so beautiful. So part of me doesn't blame you. I want you to have that. I want you to fix it so you can. Please try. Make something good come out of all of this. But I still miss you. I love you.

[SixxChick]

Today, I am grateful. Not to you, but just grateful. After four years, my blood pressure is finally back to normal after being completely off the charts while I allowed you to infiltrate every aspect of my life with your toxicity.

 

Your selfishness was so egregious, but I am finally at the point where I am comfortably taking care of my own needs. I put so much energy into caring for you and yours that I exhausted myself mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. There was no resource that you left untouched.

 

But you forgot what I do for a living, and you thought you could get away with ripping me off. You have adhered to your monthly payment plan for two years not because of your heroic efforts to make amends, but because I have had to strong-arm you into doing it. Was it worth your victim-filled rhetoric, attacks and narcissistic deflection? For me, pretty much because I know that it reminds you each and every month of what a self-admitted loser you were when you have to slink up to my doorstep and leave the payment under my mat. And I know things have not gotten better for you. Oh well ... not my circus, not my monkeys. Five more months and not only will the balance be paid off in full, but the toxicity that is YOU will be eliminated from my life in it's entirety.

 

A wise person once said, "There are no mistakes; only lessons." Boy oh boy, did we learn from this one. Even train wrecks have something to teach us. It would be way cool if we didn't have so much to learn. Or if we didn't have to learn it so many times before it stuck. But life is what it is. And I am finally reaching a place where I can be grateful. Not to you, but just grateful. Because you are not the first selfish jackass that I have loved. I do know, however, that you are the last.

[Frostedflake]

It's kind of a funny story. Except, my reflex wasn't to laugh. My reflex was to clench my fists and win. To get over YOU, before you got over me. I was leaps and bounds and you were.. rebounds. When race turns Merry Go Round. When it's not Merry anymore and I just want. to get off. the ride. My God. Your Current accidentally liked something on my page and took it back but the notification police had already tattled. My reflex wasn't to laugh but I wonder if his was like a flinch. Wondered if he thought my fists were still clenched and that a tap like that would lead to something shooting back. But I just couldn't. Could only reason to why he was on my page. Could only understand that you're still cold and he's tracing the coals to your last warm place..