Blinksy Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 **** YOU for everything you've done to me and put me in the last 2 months. You got the best out of me and destroyed it! It's only first minutes since I blocked you from everything and since we talked on the phone. But you said you are not in the mood to talk when in reality you were with someone else. I hope it's your ex that you wanted so badly and I hope you get back together just so he breaks your hurt like you broke mine. It wont workout. I love you so much and I wanna talk to you every single second and I'm no good without you but I HAVE to get over this. I need this! Last night when we had our last talk and we cried and hugged for an hour you said that I am the best thing that happen to you and I;m the perfect man for you, yet you still cant get over your last relationship and just enjoy my love. You said you love me and you never ever want to breakup and you said you want a future with me and a family, yet you just used me! **** YOU SO BAD for being in my life and let me open myself to you when I thought after 2 years of no relationships and only one night stands I could finally settle down and find my soulmate. I hate you and love you so much at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
SadEgg Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 (edited) It has been a little over a year since you broke up with me. I still miss you every single moment of every single day. When I met you it's like my brain woke up from a slumber. I was funnier, smarter, weirder... You spent a year and a half earning my trust just to give me a hug when no one else at work respected the fact that I told them I didnt like being touched. We made this world a better place together - we got P off the street and ate moldy burritos so R could have money to live. We played pranks on each other and the world. We stayed up till 4 in the morning talking and discussing unsolvable puzzles. You were my best friend. I dont know if you got scared or found someone else...It just never made sense to me when you called it off. It didnt seem to make sense to you either. I keep thinking you will change your mind, show up at my door or email me or text. But it's been a year. It's not going to happen. I feel angry at you now because anger it the only thing that keeps me from writing you and telling you that I miss you. Edited April 29, 2017 by SadEgg 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d-pop-stop Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 its been 4 months now since we split, 6 week since we last contacted each other. havnt sent more than a few messages the whole time, do you even care?you called me your soul m8, talked about moving to the city where i study to be closer to me, then when i was depressed with life and struggling, you walked out on me and havnt looked back, not even so much as text to ask if i was ok. i have so much anger and resent towards you for what you did, yet i still miss you and think of you everyday. i dont know what i want from you and or why i have the urge to talk to you. somedays i feel good and id be happy if we never spoke again, others i miss you like crazy and just wanna talk like we used to you. i guess, ultimatly i just want to know that you felt something even half resembeling the pain iv felt... Link to post Share on other sites
BoopBoo Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 I love you so much boo. I want to be with you forever, to share my life with you and to support you and love you and help you achieve all of your dreams. I cannot stop thinking about you. I still have times when I cry 2 months out after you broke up with me. I don't want to live my life without you. I don't want to wake up next to anyone else besides you. I want to have a family with you. I want to be with you. Life without you has been so much less than what it was. I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish you would have just talked with me before you broke it off. Why did you say you still love me as you left? Why were you texting me how much you loved me days before you hurt me? If there is a God out there or some higher power please help me. I'll do anything to be with her again. As pathetic as that sounds, she is all that I truly want. I want to grow old with you boo. I want to live with you. I want to laugh with your. I love you DJVD. I love you DJVD. I love you DJVD. I'll always love you. Boop boo Link to post Share on other sites
ML Hammer95 Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Been thinking of texting an 'I miss you' knowing its a terrible idea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 I've wrote more about our breakup than anything else. I honestly think it's some of my best. I'm even collaborating with a couple musician friends to start recording a few. But while I'm excited, there is some part of me arguing that this is not poetry. That we simply wasted each others time. And it's tragic.. Beyond that I'm numb. As you've said before, I'm totally into something or I'm not there at all. I can count the things I care about on one hand and generally it's been just enough to clutch a pencil again. So no, I haven't updated my platforms in many months. I'm not ready to reveal that I don't look the same (even as a positive.) Or try to convince anyone that I'm the same person when I'm not. You wouldn't be surprised hearing that. Social networking was always your thing, not mine. I just smiled for pictures. Now I can't help but to romanticize being published and recorded yet never seen, again. Link to post Share on other sites
metrognome Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 Why do you get to go out, get rekt and seemingly have fun in the city that was ours when I can't bring myself to go outside. I wonder if the grass will still be greener in a few weeks when there's nothing to look forward to any more. Link to post Share on other sites
johngalt1149 Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 I thought I was getting better but even typing into this forum gives me shudders. I have tried over and over the NC. Did it for a week this week but she kept calling and emailing, possibly about my sons college fund. I emaild back a week later to have him call me. I texted him, he wouldn't talk to me and would only text that he needed to call me. I didn't say it but because Mum pulled him out of school at 15 because he didn't like it (no home school, no work and he hasn't left his room in 2 years) I would have said he should try one course finish first and I'll do anything from there rather than just give him a check for 20k and walk away from it. I didn't say you get rewarded for failing from Mum and I don't want to chance just wasting the money. after a week of emails and tel calls with NC I finally broke down and emailed to have him call me and I would discuss with him or if she wanted to talk about us I'd be glad to take the call. I sent a mothers day card with a 3 page letter, stupid, stupid, stupid. That was Tuesday, she probably got it Wednesday and laughed at the hold she has on me after a 30 year marriage and the crushing of my ego. And the moving into my bed of an ex jailed felon in the bedroom next to my son after knowing him for 3 weeks. After her being very, very comfortable and the guy makes $22 an hour. Of course I wanted an answer. Never even said goodbye after 30 years of marriage, 2 kids. But of course no answer and I broke a whole week of NC and the kids and family are still isolated from me. What's he sense in it all? Link to post Share on other sites
Jadedbyluv Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Sighhhh.... It's been almost 2 months since we last spoke on the phone. A few weeks since there has been any other contact. I 'effin miss you so much. I can't remember the last day I haven't cried. There is so much I want to say to you. There is so much I want to share with you. You are still the first person I want to share good news with or go to for advice. Never did I think I would have fallen for you so quickly. It seemed so crazy to me. I never knew what love really was until I met you. I remember the first time I knew that I had fallen for you. I never told you how much meant to me but I think you knew. I miss your charm and wit. I miss your crooked smile and your goofy laugh. I wish things ended on bad terms so I could have walked away more easily. I wish you didn't fill my head up and mislead me to believe that what we had was real and good and that we were lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Nina14 Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Today I saw you and I knew you saw me too but I pretend that I didn't notice. It was very hard for me to ignore that moment even though all I wanted is to talk with you and tell you how much I am missing you and that even after more than a year since you left me, I still love you. But I have to.. I have to pretend that you're a stranger to me now.. Because I know you are already happy in love with her. I've learned to forgive you even you're never sorry. But as much as I want to be happy for you, the pain just won't go away. If I could only talk to you one last time, I want to say "I miss you" and "I love you" for the last time. If you just gave me that proper closure, maybe it wouldn't be this hard for me now. But I guess I'm hoping for an impossible thing. I can't believe that I'm still hurting until now... Link to post Share on other sites
metrognome Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 I'm so glad you're certain you've "made the right decision in the long run." Literally so glad! Fully am so glad you realised I must not be 'the one', despite all the times right until the very night before the break up that you told me I was x Link to post Share on other sites
Jadedbyluv Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 You were my favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Still miss you more than you probably will ever know. Sometimes I wonder if it was just timing.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BG1 Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 It's been 3 months since you broke up with me. I will never forget that day, I was very sad but also disappointed. I still think daily about you. I don't know if you miss me, I haven't heard your voice for over two months. NC is probably the best and I want to heal. I miss your silliness and your weirdness. But at the same time, I want to be with someone who wants to be by my side, no matter what and that fights for true love and a relationship. I probably, as you said, deserve better... maybe I believed more in you that you believed in yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
johngalt1149 Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 How do you walk away from 30 years and completely isolate me from you and my children? You called again today twice, I didn't pick up trying to follow this NC rule so I quit shaking. I fantasize you called to reconcile but I know that's not true. If it were important you'd have left a message or emailed. I will always love you. It just hurts so much. How could you do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 I woke up two days ago and didn't feel like you were mine. Then today someone told me you were back in contact with your dealer. I was shocked at how quickly my mind snapped to, "Not my problem". And my heart, "Not mine either." I almost feel there's enough space between us now that I'm not scared about your addictions backsplashing onto me anymore. Like, finally, I wouldn't be the first person your parents would call if- well, yeah. And in this way, My Pops said some people have to hit rock bottom. So I guess you're well on the way to yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johngalt1149 Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 You called again at 11PM. You were drunk and said " I didn't expect you to pick up so I don't know what to say and I'm not ready to talk". Just emotional warfare. You then said if you'd "call today, would I pick up?". I so miss my 30 years. I so miss my wife and children. Of course the idiot in me said yes. Link to post Share on other sites
mariopeachbowser Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 I loved you. I really did. But I guess I knew that I couldn't ever fully have you. I remember the last time you slept next to me, I started crying because in that moment it could have been everything I wanted, to be close to you, to have you be mine, but I knew, even though you were right there next to me I'd never fully have your love. I was always the shoulder to cry on, the person to vent to, the person to satisfy your needs. I was the person you could use but never love. Your heart will always belong to her. I didn't want to accept it, but I think I have now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Someone recently told me, "You are an amazing woman. You will have all that you desire". I had to step back today and ask myself, what do I really desire? If I could have anything and everything in the world, what would it be? So here it is. What I desire, what I really really long and crave for, is to move more deeply into the present moment. It's where the physical world disappears and we have a connection to the Divine. It's where I feel immeasurable joy, infinite peace and boundless love. No man or relationship can add to this. I am already complete, whole, the full expression of myself. Yes I want a man to love and respect, but this love all comes from within. It is an amazing feeling knowing I already have all I desire. I am truly at peace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetWay Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 (edited) Dearest Ex, Hope you are doing well. SW Edited May 24, 2017 by SunsetWay Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Happy birthday. We've finally made it full circle. And it's a good place to go on without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 You got rejected by the guy you were going after, and rejected me for. Grass isn't always greener. Nor will it ever be. And I hate to say it, but that makes me feel so much better. I told you it would happen. You don't understand yourself. You don't understand the gem you threw away. Or maybe you do, which is why you're still spying on me daily and trying to leave traces of yourself in my path. Stop the games. If you want me, reach out. If not, stay away permanently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NotASkunk Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 We tried to remain fwb. Agreed that we would be exclusive and give it a try. He then told me I was lucky there was not a lot of women where he lived and it brought up all my old feelings of rage. Of never being believed. Now he hates me and we will never talk again--his choice. Other men are fun but I love him. He probably never loved me. He has some disorders from abuse that have left ft him on the naracism spectrum. One being his Inability to apologize. You have to give up control and admit you were not perfect and he doesn't do that. And of course I am disordered too. Emotional immature, never learned to relate on a mature level. So a ten year friendship is dead forever because I stood up for myself and said I would t be treated that way.i said i needed time and he immediately said never contact him again. I just didn't want to be hurt worse. He doesn't care about my emotions though. Funny, when I think of SF it's never where we ate, drank, stayed. It was the time in between. The hills we climbed, taxis hailed. Watching Gumby and getting a foot massage. Seeing you in another room at a gallery or another stall at the farmers market. The way your beautiful skin and hairs showed through your worn jeans. You taking my arm to help me board a cable car or descend. It was always you I saw, only you that make our trips there special. Now gone for good. 10 years ground to pieces in the wheel of life. Of course even someone as old and ugly as me as you once said in anger can meet other men. It's easy. But another you. Never. the stock brokers and the Bobs cannot hold a candle to you, as someone once said a million life times ago. Link to post Share on other sites
ThrowAwaySally Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 This is hard. I knew NC would be tough, but at the time I couldn't grasp how hard this would be. Especially when you so casually said I could still contact you. But, I can't. Because its over, and contacting you will only prolong this pain. I've literally been fighting with myself for over an hour. My email is open, all I have to do is send a simply email and then what...At the end of the day, we decided its best not to be together. Nothing good will come from contacting you, besides a bit of relief filled with sadness and anxiety... I just miss you so much. I've been trying so hard this past month not to think of you, or contact you. Distracting myself, focusing on other things, and some days it works. But the past few days, everything is making me think of you and this sucks. I wish I had never met you. I wish I didn't have to know hurt like this. It's been over a month...I just don't want to hurt anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
NotASkunk Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 When someone you love dies, or someone you love leaves your life forever, you are given the gift of a second chances. Their departure is a reminder that it is only those left behind who can turn their lives around at any point. You’re not bound by the past, and what you shared; that is who you used to be. You’re reminded that your feelings are not who you are, but how you felt at that moment. Your bad choices defined you yesterday, but they are not who you are today. Your future doesn’t have to travel the same path with the same people. You can start over. You don’t have to apologise to people that won’t listen, or cut you off. You don’t have to justify your feelings or actions, during a difficult time in your life. You don’t have to put up with people that are insecure and want you to fail. All you have to do is walk forward with a positive outlook, and trust that the Universe has a plan that is greater than the sorrow you are left with. The people of quality that were meant to be in your life won’t need you to explain the beauty of your heart. They already understand what being human is, and what life is - a roller coaster ride of emotions through good and bad times, peppered with moments when you can almost touch the horizon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
metrognome Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 I'm pretty sure I've handled this well enough that, eventually, you'll only remember the good stuff. I've respected your decision, although you know I don't agree with it, and I'm letting you be. I think that's the right thing to do. I worry leaving you to live your life will ruin my chances, but need to remember you broke up with me so I should view this as over. ohhh loveshack y u fill me with logic But I'm proud of how I've handled this to the outside world, no matter how much I'm dying inside. I'm satisfied that the things I did to push you away are things I am working on - they were things I needed to do to fine-tune myself, and not fundamental aspects of my character. I'm proud that I never once gave you a reason not to trust me. I was loyal, honest, committed, and though maybe young guys don't want this but every bit of my emotional energy was dedicated to you and trying to help you get the best out of yourself. I know I have nothing to hate myself for, I'm just so heartbroken you ended it. I wish you wanted to stick by my fine-tuning, like I did for you. I don't hate u tho. just hope those memories mean something to you...there were so many 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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