No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[RedWind]

I'm pretty sure I've handled this well enough that, eventually, you'll only remember the good stuff. I've respected your decision, although you know I don't agree with it, and I'm letting you be. I think that's the right thing to do. I worry leaving you to live your life will ruin my chances, but need to remember you broke up with me so I should view this as over. ohhh loveshack y u fill me with logic

 

But I'm proud of how I've handled this to the outside world, no matter how much I'm dying inside. I'm satisfied that the things I did to push you away are things I am working on - they were things I needed to do to fine-tune myself, and not fundamental aspects of my character. I'm proud that I never once gave you a reason not to trust me. I was loyal, honest, committed, and though maybe young guys don't want this but every bit of my emotional energy was dedicated to you and trying to help you get the best out of yourself. I know I have nothing to hate myself for, I'm just so heartbroken you ended it. I wish you wanted to stick by my fine-tuning, like I did for you. I don't hate u tho. just hope those memories mean something to you...there were so many

 

Had the same thought as you. Hoping those memories mean something to her, though it is for me but unfortunately not for her.

[anduina]

Please don't be predictable the one time that's the worst time.

[Minneloa]

Happy Birthday, sweet, silly moose.

[Inafishbowl]

I miss you but know you are toxic. You are a lost soul in your addictions.

I want to reach out to you, to beg you to change your ways.

 

Not for me or us. I know that won't work. We both know why. Love isn't enough.

I will always carry a piece of you with me.

 

I do still care but had to let you go. We are in different places. You said I kept you balanced and helped you stay on the right path. Truth is it was exhausting for me. I became possessive and controlling. You gravitate​d to it but eventually rebelled.

I didn't want to be that person. You wanted me to be like that because you said you needed someone to help keep you in check. Someone to be accountable with. It's pointless to try now. You are lost.

I loved you for you but you loved me and you loved drugs. Drugs won.

You conveniently don't believe in God or a higher power or anything that may conflict with you're lies you tell yourself. Addicts do that to protect the addiction.

You say you don't have a problem. Why can't you pay your bills? What happened to college? Oh, it's too expensive now. A year ago you came to the city to go to school. You never went. You exist from paycheck to paycheck. Your dreams are dead.

 

You justify your choices that are destructive to you. You repeat this over and over and over. You just want to be" Young and Wild and Free."

 

You said you never met someone like me. Someone who loved you unconditionally.

I did but little by little piece by piece that love was turned into something sick and unhealthy.

I thought I could change you, help you.

I saw the inner person.

She is so, so beautiful but you are also ugly. You could lie right at me and then always tell on yourself. It's a cry for help but I can't help you. Only you can fix yourself.

My heart has gone cold. My mind misses you. Its hard to spend months and years learning about someone and forget it all in a short time. My body aches to hold you and protect you.

It's sad I finally know I can't protect you from you.

I have to let you go and travel whatever road will lead you to your destination.

I have to find my own destination without you. Each step is one further from you. In time you will fade off into the distance.

[ThupidCupid]

I'm pretty sure I've handled this well enough that, eventually, you'll only remember the good stuff. I've respected your decision, although you know I don't agree with it, and I'm letting you be. I think that's the right thing to do. I worry leaving you to live your life will ruin my chances, but need to remember you broke up with me so I should view this as over. ohhh loveshack y u fill me with logic

 

But I'm proud of how I've handled this to the outside world, no matter how much I'm dying inside. I'm satisfied that the things I did to push you away are things I am working on - they were things I needed to do to fine-tune myself, and not fundamental aspects of my character. I'm proud that I never once gave you a reason not to trust me. I was loyal, honest, committed, and though maybe young guys don't want this but every bit of my emotional energy was dedicated to you and trying to help you get the best out of yourself. I know I have nothing to hate myself for, I'm just so heartbroken you ended it. I wish you wanted to stick by my fine-tuning, like I did for you. I don't hate u tho. just hope those memories mean something to you...there were so many

 

My exact thoughts...

[babysacay]

Just found this thread! Here's what I so badly want my ex to hear:

 

I gotta get this off my chest. I don't care if you respond. I just want you to understand me for once. I just want to be understood.

 

It bothers me that you kept blaming everything on me. Yeah I had my role but you did too. I know I did. I was actually gonna back off and be patient until you were less busy...but then I saw you updating your POF profile. That's why I hounded you last week...to get a straight answer from you because your actions were different from your words.

 

And you said you never gave up...you were the one who broke it off and stopped trying. That IS giving up. I don't understand how that isn't giving up in your eyes...I was the one who didn't give up until now.

 

You said I'm selfish...but you acted selfishly too. Our whole relationship revolved around you and when you could talk and you couldn't be bothered to set aside time to work on things when all I wanted was to connect with you and work on our relationship.

 

Oh and remember the time you got mad at me for not visiting because I was busy with grad school and my thesis? Then when I visited, the only time we had together was dinner because you were so busy with your house and work. Which I was fine with. I genuinely understood and enjoyed being able to just be around you. But then during dinner you were on your phone. So don't tell me you never gave up. You gave up real easy RIGHT AFTER I let you in and started to fully trust you.

 

I know you probably won't read this but I'm still upset at how hypocritical and condescending you were towards me. I know I should've backed off but even when I did, that didn't matter to you. My patience before all this didn't matter to you. You didn't notice the positive improvement I'd made after the break-up.

 

You expected the worst of me and were so focused on blaming me you couldn't be bothered to see the part you played in it all. And you still can't be bothered to take responsibility for your inconsistency and the ways you hurt me because you always turn it back on me.

 

And forgive me for not believing that your trip with your female friend who had feelings for you and was SUPER pissed when we got together is purely platonic. Last

time an ex told me he was going on a trip with a platonic friend, they slept together and got married. Coupled with your words and actions being inconsistent with me...so yeah. It's completely irrational of me to feel hurt and angry. Right.

 

Yeah, I played a role in the break-up. You did too. But all you did was make me feel bad and guilty about it and put yourself on your high horse above me that you never came down from. You don't even know the improvements I had made from previous relationships that I demonstrated with you. I get better and better with time but you don't know that because you don't really know me.

 

You were both the best boyfriend I'd ever had and the most hurtful. I feel like you think I'm scum in your eyes.

 

Rant over.

[Andre3172]

I recently broke up with my ex (well, she broke up with me) and it's been rough so far. More so because we have a four-year-old son together. today is 15 June. She delivered the killing blow to me on some time in late May. I can't even remember the date right now. I recall how devastated I was and walked around in a blur for the next two days. And of course, I typical the typical knee-jerk approach of trying to get her back desperately. But that only pushed her away more. The biggest problem is that we lived together and our son. I moved out under the pretense that things would be better for us if we had space. Gullible me not realizing that was the chess move for checkmate believed that all we needed was to have space between us to make things better. Should have seen it coming. I moved out on 13 May, and about 2 weeks later I received the death blow. I have been back and forth to her house every since. Even spend the weekend there just last while she worked nights to watch our son because her 15-year-old daughter was not home that weekend. So moving up to more recent times, I have discovered that she has already begun dating. Just yesterday she invited me to 6 flags, and against my better judgment, I went. That was a mistake because we talked at the end of the outing only to find that she still felt the same way about us. She didn't love me anymore more and that its a little too late for us. That I think was the crushing blow. Up until now, I had seen an inkling of hope. But when I found out she was out with another guy, that hope was crushed. I have been in constant contact with her since she told me the news but I feel like I need to initiate the NC rule. Its just a little difficult when there are children involved. It pains me to see her, yet I have to be there for my son. Just tonight while I'm at work, I must've texted her four times and called once, only to have any of them answered. Now I am feeling like a fool, and like I embarrassed myself and compromised my machismo by seeming desperate. Such an unattractive quality. I feel I may have made things worse than they were. I have been all over the internet reading about ways to deal with breakups tonight and stopped off here to share my situation. My mind is telling me to initiate NC starting today (it's 6 AM at the time I am typing this), but my heart is crying for attention from her. What's worst, father's day is in three days and I'm a mess! NC is going to be so hard.

[LOSINGHOPE113]

Do you realise yet just how bad you treated me? has it sunk in what you put me through, the daily torture. I hope you have, I really hope you know that despite how we ended all I did was love and care for you, I was there for you 24/7, I would of done anything for you but you wouldn't of for me. For the past 5 months every one has been telling me how you manipulated me, people have even described it as emotional abuse, and for so long I have made excuses for you, made excuses for your behaviour, I haven't believed a word they've said and believe me I have spoke to 20+ people, i've even seen a therapist that's how much you've messed with my head, but thankfully I am starting to see the light, little by little i'm seeing you for who you truly were, I starting to see just how much you used me and took advantage of me, little by little my life seems a little bit more worth living, I no longer have the desire to end my life I am starting to see that life one day will be better without you. I shouldn't of given you so much, I should of backed away when you treated me the way you but all I wanted was the best for you but I should of thought about myself. You shouldn't of treated me that way you did and how dare you even say you loved me, no one treats anyone they love like that and especially not when they were as good to you as I was. You'll never find someone that'll put up with everything you did and still love you in the way I did, you should be struggling not me.

[Ronnys93]

Day 1. When we got off the phone and knew that our contact would cease, it ripped a hole in my stomach. There is an emptiness there. I look at my phone thinking that you're going to text me at any minute like you usually do, but you haven't yet and I know it's not going to happen. This hurts, but I know I can get through it.

[TJReede]

Hi - I am crying all the time..

My ex is in a relationship but still reached out to me and wanted to sext with me .. but just have fun on the side. I never brought his gf up cuz I didn't know if he was confused. He knew that I was in love with him... after a couple months, I couldn't cope anymore and finally told him I couldn't go forward without some sort of goal that we are going towards. I was super loving and told him I wasn't looking for an ultimatum, only that I couldn't go forward like this.. he thought it would be better to break our ties off but he didn't even unfriend us on fb... but I am not going on there at all and now it's two weeks and feel this sick need to torture myself and see what they are doing and what she is posting on his fb... but I want to heal. I just am in so much pain... Why do we want to hurt ourselves? I think I am looking for hope where there is none...

I'm so broken.

[Frostedflake]

Nothing sticks. Although I'm not exactly holding onto anything either.

I just let the girl leave. God knows I hope it was not inspite of you but I'm really not sure. For everything she was.. all I could think of was what she wasn't. I spared her the vocalizations I gave you. Nothing that serious. Nothing that needed pain.

 

"Nothing", I think is becoming quite common to me.

[countryfeedback]

I know you saw me today at the store. Neither of us made any sly comments, surprising. It's pretty pathetic both of us go to that location now because we embarrassed each other when we worked together. You're a vindictive piece of work but I still miss you, not necessarily what we had but what we both said we'd fight for. I hope you do well with yourself and stay out of trouble.

[Ronnys93]

Today is the 4th full day. I've been addressing you in my journal. Sometimes I feel like you've read it, but then I remember that you haven't. My mind keeps making up excuses to reach out, but I know better. That I do.

[meta.morphate]

I woke up two days ago and didn't feel like you were mine.

Then today someone told me you were back in contact with your dealer. I was shocked at how quickly my mind snapped to, "Not my problem". And my heart, "Not mine either."

 

I feel like I love you for this.

 

 

I hope my mind and heart can be as strong as yours.

[Microwave]

After all this time I still love you but hate you at the same time. It seems such a waste, we had something so special.

 

You were the one I wanted to wake up to everyday for the rest of my life.

 

We had such an amazing holiday, I don't even know how to explain how together i felt, almost like we were one person.

 

I wish we could of worked it out but you forced me to leave. Your lies crippled our relationship although you don't understand this. Added to that, how self centred you are even though you believe you are so thoughtful. As much as I hated hearing you say I was the number 1 priority in your life, you always made me feel like a spare part.

 

I wish we didn't get back together at xmas, people said you were no good but I didn't listen.... I should of, who knows where I would be now?!?

 

I want to wish you a great life but I know you'll have that, it hurts knowing I'm stuck in hell whilst you have everything you want

[Frostedflake]

I woke up two days ago and didn't feel like you were mine.

Then today someone told me you were back in contact with your dealer. I was shocked at how quickly my mind snapped to, "Not my problem". And my heart, "Not mine either."

 

I feel like I love you for this.

 

 

I hope my mind and heart can be as strong as yours.

 

They both will be. Be patient with yourself.

[Little-Wolf]

Day two of NC, and this is killing me... I just feel so down and upset, longing for you to message me and tell me this was all a mistake. The thought of not seeing you again is too painful to bear, so I try not to think about it. The breakup was so... I don't know, open? Does that make sense? You never said we'd never be together again. You never said we wouldn't see each other again. You never said you didn't love me and never wanted to try again in the future. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, replaying all the small details in my head wondering and thinking. My gut tells me you'll contact me one day. Maybe in a month or two months, but I just know this isn't the end of our story. I love you so very much, always. x

[Tone Loc]

Love you, sometimes i wonder whether it would have been better had we never met. You've never been nice. Got mixed up with the wrong person! Too much damage has been done. Anyway, take care, I don't have hatred for you.

[Little-Wolf]

Day three of NC and I still feel like you'll text me soon. I know you won't because you're so stubborn...

 

The words you said "I don't know if I'll wake up and regret this" haunt me, because I hope with every fibre of my being that you do. I was so good to you. Too good to you, many would argue. Even your Nan hated the way you spoke to me when you were trying to deal with your anger. But our good days were so good... Just you and I against the world, happy and in love. You said you couldn't definitvely say you loved me, but I know that was just your pride... I know you probably didn't want to give me any false hope. You took me to our favourite spot at sunset and you looked me in the eye after a year and a half and told me you loved me and I know it was real.

 

I miss the good times every day. I try and think of the bad... The arguments, the depression... But the good always out-weighed the bad for me. No one ever made me feel so safe, so loved... I trusted you completely.

 

I hope you're happy and enjoying your freedom now. I hope you dream of me like I have of you for the last three nights. They are the sweetest torture, because I know they're not real.

 

Please get the help you need baby, so we can try again. My lost boy... angry at your past... I hate that you couldn't see anything other than your grey cloud to picture how beautiful our future could be.

 

I said you were my forever and I meant it.

Edited June 23, 2017 by Little-Wolf

[Ronnys93]

Today has been a complete week without contacting him or having any texts sent or received since January. I can't believe I've done it, but I'm getting better and better each day. I look forward to the day we can talk and be friends again without any awkwardness or severe attachments. I miss you.

[Tone Loc]

I really hate your attitude, it stinks. You're obnoxious and unpleasant. I want you.

[Little-Wolf]

I found a bar of chocolate that I bought for you a couple of weeks ago as a silly gift for when you told me you were having a bad day. I just wanted to make you smile.

 

I cried, and then I ate it all.

[Frostedflake]

If you've got all the answers why the hell are you so mad?

[Little-Wolf]

I dream about you every single night and it's killing me. It hasn't even been a week since we've broken up. You've stopped going on whatsapp, (I'm trying not to look anymore) But I suppose why would you? I was the only person you spoke to on there... I kind of thought you'd have been online. I don't know what to think. I don't want to think about anything at all.

 

Time goes by so slowly these days. I have so much to do and no motivation to do any of it. You were my future. You were the one I wanted standing next to me on my graduation. Knowing you won't be there breaks my heart all over again.

 

I'm doing everything I can to move on and stay busy. I'm going for walks more, I'm taking care of myself... I'm going to dress really sexy one day because I feel I haven't done that since we first started our relationship... You were the only person I ever wanted to look sexy for. But maybe this will be a right of passage again. That I am attractive and worthy and that you've let the best thing that will ever happen to you go!!!

[Tone Loc]

I hate that I keep checking my phone constantly, hoping to hear from you, but I know I'm just wasting my energy. If I were to hear from you again, I know you'll just be your usual obnoxious self and make me wish you didn't even bother to text first. I'm not going to talk to you no matter how desperate I get, because I know I won't find what I'm looking for. You can't help me, all you do is make me not want to talk to you. I don't even know why I'm writing this, but there it is.

 

I don't even know if I want to hear from you again. I wonder what's going on inside your mind. It's good that you're keeping busy and have a life, that must help a lot. I don't feel any hatred towards you, I just regret wasting so much time and energy on you because you're not worth it at all.

 

I'm terrified that we'll end up together again one day, because I'm certain that getting back together with you will only serve to make me unhappy, miserable and lost. But then I'm also terrified that we'll never be together again. I really don't know which is worse. Stay with a horrible evil person who doesn't understand you and who makes you miserable but at the same time gives you some measure of happiness, or never be with that person again.

 

I've always loved you and I know I always will. That's not something I can control or change. But I also know that you're evil and dangerous, I'm not blind to that. I know what you are, and you've certainly done a lot to show me just how evil you are. Perhaps that's a good thing, because I'll always be scared of you. Even when we were together, I wasn't entirely comfortable around you. I was somewhat relieved when I left you and knew that I wouldn't be seeing you again soon. A part of me was sad, but another part of me was relieved.

 

I still wish you well. I hope your life turns out well. I appreciate the happiness that you gave me, I've never received that from anyone else. But I also know that it's foolish to rely on others for happiness and fulfilment because that's not supposed to be something that you seek from people.

 

That's all for now.