No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Frostedflake]

In the beginning, I wanted to get stronger to spite you. To show my way of life was better and I had the results to shove in your face.

 

It's not like that anymore. I didn't want to just be strong, I want to thrive. You posted about "finding a purpose" and I have never been happier for you. You've never talked about a bigger picture, a dream, or any of that. Back then nothing was enough for you to chase sobriety but now something out there is. It's something only you could recognize and I'm excited for you to uncover it.

 

I'll never say it..

But you'll always have a cheerleader rooting for you in your best.

[Broken183]

It's been a month and it's only getting harder. I miss you and I love you and I hate you. The first summer we dated we drifted because we had been long distance like we were for this past summer, but I fought for you. I told you how I was feeling. But when I asked how you were feeling this time you just shrugged, and I shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't have any emotional intelligence. But I just don't understand why you moved here for me and then broke it off.

[Darkchan]

I miss you! I really truly love you, despite how everything was in the end. Please miss me too and let's start anew again.

[Broken183]

I just want to talk to you.

[Broken183]

We wnet through something similar when you were in D.C. the first summer we were dating. You shut down. You were tired and didn't have the energy to even send a quick text. But I kept trying. I called you. I explained how I was feeling. I gave you another chance. And we made it through. And that's what happened this time. We were so busy moving to our cities and getting to know our roommates. You were traveling. We just didn't make the time to see each other. for this first month living in the same city together. But I thought it was something we could work on. Once everything had settled down and I knew my class schedule and you'd made some new connections at work. But you just shut down and you can't get out of your own way. You couldn't even tell me that you were feeling sad. When I asked, you just stared at me blankly. But you moved to the city to be near me. I don't understand why you couldn't try harder. What does "I need to take a step back" really mean. I know it means break up. But the hope in me wants to interpret it differently. I know closure comes from within, but there's always that stupid, lingering question. My prefrontal cortex isn't strong enough to override the rest of my brain. I was fine until I say you walking downtown with your grandparents. And then it was like the floodgates opened and my brain realized that I could see anywhere at any time. And it's been downhill from there. I hope I get to the bottom soon. Then it'll just be about climbing back up.

[chinadiary]

I'm so tired. I'm tired of wanting something I can't have. I'm tired of wanting you to want me the way I want you. I'm so tired of thinking of the past and of what we had and how good it was. I'm so tired of having to force myself to be brave and to carry on.

 

We were good together. I made you happy and you made my life complete. And yet, you were unable to make any changes to make room for me in your life. You made promises to me and quietly, pretended you hadn't made them so you didn't have to keep them.

 

You avoided difficult subjects and talking about how we could fix things and then, when I broke, when it was too much, you pretended that the past was different, that really, you'd been waiting for me! You pretended that you were the open one, waiting for me to come to you, when I'd been there and sacrificed and moved and given up my life TWICE for you. When you, you had just been sitting there, in the same place, making no changes.

 

I love you but I really don't like you anymore. You're selfish and self absorbed. You are incapable of giving equally to a relationship. This is why you're alone now. This is why you'll always be alone. Oh, you may find a new woman. But you'll do the same to her. And your daughter, ha! She'll see the next woman off too. And you'll be there, making excuses, refusing to see the truth all of your friends can see.

 

I am not perfect. God I know this. But I was good for you. And I loved you and still do. You made a mistake, letting me go.

[lovesucksudry]

I hope you get ****t on by a flock of birds. Happy Halloween and I love you

[Cora]

God what I'd give to kiss you one last time! I miss you so damn much it hurts! We had our problems....you had your faults and I had mine, but I loved you. I still love you. I wonder if you've found someone new? I know that I don't want to know though because the moment I find out will kill me. What I'd give for one last chance with you. I want you back so badly!! But deep down I know you're no good for me. I'll always care about you though. No one could ever compare to you.

 

Just wanted you to know I cried driving home from work today. Thinking about you and the good times we had. The song Shallows by Daughter came on and I lost it. The tears just started to flow.

 

Please, just tell me one thing....how can we be so happy together, complete bliss one moment and then you be so cold and treat me like a stranger the next?

 

All I have left are memories and momentos of you...

[Broken183]

I am an idiot and I broke NC. It initially felt good to just send an email but then he responded. I hate myself. I'm sad that I'm nauseous. Why am I so stupid.

[Cora]

Why did you come back into my life only to leave again??? I was just about completely over you and then you waltz back in like nothing had happened! What the hell? I was happy living my life before you came and shook things up. I stupidly took you back a second time. Sigh...when will I ever learn? I initially was just going to be a friend because you were going through a rough time. You had started back drinking again and I didn't want to see you go down that road and put your health at risk again. So I was going to be there for you and help you overcome your alcoholism.

 

Well my brilliant plan backfired on me because I started falling for you again. All those old feelings started flooding back and I knew right then I was playing with fire. My brother even tried to warn me that getting back together with you was a bad idea and that you would let me down and cause me nothing but pain. But you said all the right things. Promised me you'd never leave me again. Well here we are....you're gone and I'm left here picking up the pieces. Why? What was the point of coming back into my life...feeding me false promises only to leave again? You cut me off so coldly! How can you go from being so warm and loving to so distant and cold? Did you ever really love me? Or was it all a facade? Did I see things that weren't there? Please enlighten me because I'm not doing so well tonight. I'm drowning here. My mind is racing a million miles a minute. I can't shut the damn thing off. This isn't something you do to someone you love. To leave them in this torture while you're off enjoying your new romance and making new memories. I'd never do that to you. I hope you know that...

[lostsoul4286]

I just can't reach out. I have a woman that's amazing now. Yet this whole feeling of this could of been us, missing you so madly, I can't shake off. Why now? Why more than two months later? Why did you mock me when I showed you the ring , after telling me countless times you wanted to marry me? Why did you reach out in October, two months after our break up? After I told you not to worry that'll never look for you, and had asked you numorous times to never contact me again. You only respect when its convenient. I'll never forgive you or your family for what they did. You go from calling me several times to just texting three daya prior to our breakup when you went to the beach with your family? My aunt suspects you were with your ex. You only sent me a pic of you in a bikini when I asked how you were doing. What happened to all the things you said and promised? You left me in shambles and I'm still picking up the pieces, almost lost my job, almost lost my sanity, and almost lost my company.

[Darkchan]

(sorry need to post my message in my own language, I was so close on sending him this)

 

Hej, hur mår du? Jag saknar dig väldigt mycket. Jag tänker på dig varje dag. det gör så ont att inte få vara med dig. Det känns som jag dör långsamt inom mig att en del av min själv slitits av. Jag vill inget annat än att få vara med dig

[Highndry]

I spoke my peace, now I will toss it out.

Edited November 5, 2017 by Highndry

[Fever of love]

(sorry need to post my message in my own language, I was so close on sending him this)

 

Hej, hur mår du? Jag saknar dig väldigt mycket. Jag tänker på dig varje dag. det gör så ont att inte få vara med dig. Det känns som jag dör långsamt inom mig att en del av min själv slitits av. Jag vill inget annat än att få vara med dig

 

Hej Darkchan, jeg genkender din danske, selvom jeg bruger Google Translate til at svare! Jeg ønsker dig godt i din helbredelse, og minde om, at vi alle på Loveshack går gennem samme rejse. Du er ikke alene. x

[Gezalmem]

It's been almost 5 months since we broke up. I think about her constantly, even though I wish to God that I could stop. The simple thought of her makes me melt inside, and remembering her quirks and mannerisms is a good way to make myself cry (I am an adult male, no shame). About a month ago I tried to reconcile, I thought that what we had was worth trying to save. She disagreed, and I found out a day later that she has a new boyfriend. I know the hope is gone, but my mind won't accept it. My subconscious brain constantly tells me that this will work out, that she will come back to me eventually... simply put it's hell on earth.

[Darkchan]

Hej Darkchan, jeg genkender din danske, selvom jeg bruger Google Translate til at svare! Jeg ønsker dig godt i din helbredelse, og minde om, at vi alle på Loveshack går gennem samme rejse. Du er ikke alene. x

 

Thank you for you reply! I wrote in Swedish but I do understand Dannish as well. It made me smile reading your answer as it chaught me by suprise

[Fever of love]

Thank you for you reply! I wrote in Swedish but I do understand Dannish as well. It made me smile reading your answer as it chaught me by suprise

 

 

Mitt nöje, Darkchan, jag är glad att jag gav dig ett leende ... håller det på ämnet, min ex var från Köpenhamn, och så jag pratar inte danska, men jag trodde jag kände igen manuset. Av misstag! Jag önskar dig bra på din jurney.

[Highndry]

It's been almost 5 months since we broke up. I think about her constantly, even though I wish to God that I could stop. The simple thought of her makes me melt inside, and remembering her quirks and mannerisms is a good way to make myself cry (I am an adult male, no shame). About a month ago I tried to reconcile, I thought that what we had was worth trying to save. She disagreed, and I found out a day later that she has a new boyfriend. I know the hope is gone, but my mind won't accept it. My subconscious brain constantly tells me that this will work out, that she will come back to me eventually... simply put it's hell on earth.

 

Sorry to hear that, it's got to be painful. That's like a worst nightmare sort of scenario.

[Frostedflake]

"Has she read this?", they keep asking me.

I think, "Why would she have to? She lived it. She was there."

 

And you were there.. as much as you could be. Between sobrieties, between catalysts, between pen and paper, between tongue and teeth, and something I haven't said yet.

Between "have you read this?" and knowing it was the end from the start.

[Jsos91]

So my big 26th birthday is in a couple hours, my first one without you in the last few years. I don't expect to hear from you and thats okay... Id rather I didn't have that interfere with me having a good day. You owe me absolutely nothing and were not much more than strangers at this point.

 

I did have some sadness come over me at work tonight, I just miss you sometimes.. or who I thought you were I suppose. It just hits me like a brick wall and I get that stupid sinking feeling... I think its just because I feel sad that.. Im still feeling sad if that makes sense?

 

Something else I've been noticing, a few people I work with have gone through breakups since mine and every last one of them has hooked up with their exes a couple times after their breakups. Am I in the minority in thinking thats a terrible idea? I mean you asked me to come over a couple weeks after our breakup and I refused, is that what you were looking for? just something I wonder about.

 

Well anyways, I hope tomorrows a better day and I'm not feeling so depressed... it is my birthday after all... If I hear from you, I know its going to throw me off so... we'll see what happens...

[Fever of love]

Sunny Sundays are always the worst day, its unbearable. I miss the small things so much... I would be happy to walk with you to the supermarket, just talking and being together.

 

Sometimes the feeling of heartbreak seems to be expanding, and consuming more and more of the everyday world. Like immediately after the breakup on June 17th, I could not look at bunches of Gladiola in shops, without first thinking to get them for you, then remembering you were gone all over again. I learned to avoid that shop, and to avoid Gladiola, to keep away from triggers and heal.

 

Now, almost 5 months later- even going to any shop at all on a sunny Sunday has become a trigger! Seeing couples walking hand in hand, or just working together on their Sunday duties... it kills me.I miss you so badly, this is so messed up.

 

For me it can't be a 'new girl, its got to be the one I lived my life with up until now. Maybe that doesn't fit in well with the modern world, but what can I do to change how I'm wired? Nobody could replace you, after everything we been through together.

 

I probably am getting slightly better, in that my heart is no longer beating like I have just run a marathon, and I am able to eat and sleep. But you are still the only thing on my mind, from morning until night. It's still difficult to cope with he grief, and I can't even look at another woman.

 

Can't even go to the shops and do my Sunday duties without it breaking my heart.

 

Nevertheless...

 

*Goes to shops*

[MarvelFan1]

Even though you talked down to me, and were a control freak, I miss you.

 

I miss the weekends watching TV and snuggling on the sofa. I miss doing puzzles together, having someone to cook for, and long conversations in bed over random stuff.

 

Why did you keep pushing me until I broke, why couldn't you just be happy rather than seeking out confrontations over nothing.

 

I know you went back on to dating sights after a few months, probably to find validation after I left you, because you don't feel loved or wanted...

 

I can't go on dating sights or look for anyone else, as I feel I would be betraying you... I don't want to hurt you even though I did by leaving you. If you messaged me, I would meet you in a heartbeat to talk about us, but I'm sure you're more happier with your new found freedom.

 

I'm in a mental no mans land, someday's I'm happy, sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I go to some dark places in my head... I wish I could see some light beyond where I am.

 

I have gotten better over the last few months and I have grown stronger without you, but I still wish I had you. If you want to know me, you know where I am.

[fireflyingaway]

I've thought about you all afternoon.

 

I keep thinking of your dog and how I miss him. He was starting to feel like my dog as well..."our dog". For a while I felt like I had my own little family and I enjoyed waking up next to you both, but you're gone now. You removed yourself from my life.

 

I have stayed busy. I exercise more, met some new people, been on a few dates and I am sewing my life back together piece by piece...pieces of a life that I now know you exist, but you aren't in my life.

 

I haven't talked to you in like five weeks now. I have no idea what you are doing, but Thanksgiving is coming up and it's making me miss you. Mostly because I know you'll probably be spending it alone, or you won't...I guess its not my business to know anymore.

 

Two weeks after traveling 1500 miles. Two weeks after meeting your parents and right after going through the hurricane together...you left. You made seven months of my life disappear with just a few sentences. It makes me angry. It makes me feel sad. How.dare.you.

[Frostedflake]

I feel like I've made up a personality, solely, to be able to have conversations about it.

Guarantee that if you left it up to me I'd never talk again.

[wishyouneverleft]

Yesterday my girl asked me to send her something via text via multimedia. I had a flashback almost immediately of a video where you were telling me how much you loved me, that you sent me via the same medium.

 

Today I saw my company's e-mail for the Holiday party, I remembered how we talked about attending, but then at the bottom it informed us it was only for employees. I found it humorous thinking that maybe even life didn't want us together.

 

The more time passes the more distant you become, the pain lurks still, but the more I realize I was dating someone that wasn't meant for me. You could of saved us all this roller coaster and just told me your true intentions, feelings, and opinions. From what I heard last my family saw the state you're in and how wearily thin you've gotten, never seeing you before in this state. The fact you called me days before flying out to your neck of the woods to see my family also further proves that you're ailing. I would be lying if I told you I didn't feel a paradox of empathy and jovial comfort knowing your going through this. You did this to yourself, the strength I muster to maintain NC come from several sources, and the most important one is the fact I've seen what someone with your traits can do to a man. You threw it all away without even trying. From what my family said, you're used to men chasing you and you carelessly playing with them like cat does with a ball of yarn. You thought you could come back, try to bait me, try to lure me in again. Or was it you thought I'd be begging you to return? Sorry, but I'm much to keen for those games. Once I saw you as the 22 immature millennial you are, it all made sense.

 

Regardless of whatever it was you broke up with me, remember, I gave you my all. I let you in to places in my heart no woman has ever been able to penetrate. I've given you my unconditional love. I took my mask off for you. The world that I live in, have come from, created the person you described the first time you saw me as "a presence in the room you walk in, the attraction and attention commanded from the minute you enter through the door". I showed you the softer side, the vulnerable side to that person. Sacrificed so much, and was willing to give much more to keep this alive, keep fanning the flame, and to perpetually make you smile. You decided to throw it all away, without a reason that made sense. You completely contradicted everything you ever told me throughout the relationship. Now live with this, know that I'm not coming back. I'd throw myself off a cliff, drive off a road, or move to a war torn country and die defending the innocent locals from the belligerent party before I come back to you. I can't, I just can't do it.

 

At times I just want to say I hate you.

Edited November 20, 2017 by wishyouneverleft