No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Frostedflake]

Full circle.

 

In approx. 7 hrs it's been a full year since I left.

I've faced all the "firsts" with anger, bitterness, and finally relief.

There's nothing between us now but distance.

THANK.. god.

[Beachead]

Not doing well friends, but I am trying.

 

7 weeks NC. 9 weeks since she last reached out. 3.5 months into our breakup. Following our end, she jumped back into a relationship with her ex. She wasn't over him and it was the reason for us ending. 2 nights ago, I returned to FB after months of having my account deactivated and unblocked her only to see a profile picture of her and her ex and their relationship status of them being official.

 

Like air being sucked out into space, , my hope to ever see her again was literally vacuumed out of my heart. Been having bad dreams for 2 nights straight. I would wake up from them only to feel my heart flooded with the thoughts of that picture and the void I feel inside. Wish she would come back to me but I don't see that happening anymore. Can't compete with a 4 relationship like theirs. It's like a rabbit vs a lion, I never stood a chance.

 

I'll be sailing on the "Heartbroken" for a good year or so if anyone wants to join.

 

Stay strong friends

Edited November 23, 2017 by Beachead

[StrangerThanFiction]

I can't believe it's only been two days since I last talked to you. It feels like so much longer. I've been fighting the urge to reach out to you, but I know that if I do it'll just perpetuate the cycle you've grown accustomed to of me always initiating. I left the ball in your court. If you want me, you can show it by reaching out to me for once. If you don't, well, I guess that's my answer and my closure. But how long do I give you before I let go of the hope that you'll choose to fight for what we have? Three days? A week? I wish there was a set time for this sort of thing. I guess I'll just have to decide it for myself.

 

I wish I would've told you how I truly feel about you. I've held off this long because I was scared. I was afraid if I told you I was falling in love with you that it would scare you off or push you away. I decided to let you pick the pace because of your situation. Actually, maybe that was for the best considering how things fell out the last time we talked. But I do wish we could've talked about what we wanted from each other. I hope you don't leave things like this. I hope you miss me and have been thinking about me as much as I have you.

[Cora]

Why did you call me earlier? What could you possibly have to say to me now after all this time? Are you lonely? Are things not going well with your new girl? Do you miss me? Are you bored? Are you drunk dialing me?

 

Thank goodness I missed your call as I'm not sure I'd have the strength not to answer. Yet I have just enough strength not to call you back. As much as I so desperately want closure from this whole mess I can't call you back. I fear hearing your voice would do me in. I miss you so very much and I'll always love you, but I have to move on. I'm trying to get over you. You threw me away. You no longer needed me. I know deep down you'll only bring me heartache and pain. The cycle will never end.

 

I do wish you well though. I forgive you. There are no hard feelings. I do hope you get help for your drinking issues. I hope that you take care of yourself and live a long and happy life. Your beautiful kids need you. I know how much you adore them. And I hope that some day you'll find your soulmate. The one who makes your heart skip a beat. Just thought you should know. Take care my love...

[SixxChick]

There was a long-time member who posted the no contact rules. For the life of me, I can't find them (even doing a search). Can anyone pinpoint me in that direction? And, sorry Mods, if you have to move or delete this! I just remember that those tools were helpful, and I want to point somebody else in that direction with that wisdom.

 

Strength and honor!

[Frostedflake]

There was a long-time member who posted the no contact rules. For the life of me, I can't find them (even doing a search). Can anyone pinpoint me in that direction? And, sorry Mods, if you have to move or delete this! I just remember that those tools were helpful, and I want to point somebody else in that direction with that wisdom.

 

Strength and honor!

 

It's a pinned thread that you can find at the top of the Coping forum. So you were in the right place.

 

Here it is:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion

 

Or this:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide

Edited December 1, 2017 by Frostedflake

[Fever of love]

Miss you so bad love. What am I going to do without you?

[wishyouneverleft]

I made the biggest mistake by getting with another woman right after you. But I didn't know what else to do when you dumped me. I was fine single and enjoyed being alone, until you came along. You left a gaping whole in my heart. Now my own cousin won't even answer my messages because she's tired od hesring me constantly talk about you. How long will my heart take to heal? I'm tired of missing you. I never experienced true love until I met you, so I don't know how long it will take to get through this. I want it to be over; its been almost 4 months. I can function now, but how long will I feel this loss, this longing for you to be by my side, wishing things were different, that the person you portrayed was actually you.

[Fever of love]

This is unbearable. Christmas is coming up, Im going to be alone, while you cook for the snake who stole you from me.

[Jsos91]

Hey M,

 

This would be the first time I'm reaching out to you on a personal level since you broke my heart and I'm still not ready to having any type of contact with you (obviously because I'm posting here).

 

Lately I've been having a hard time because of the holidays coming up, we both really enjoyed this time of year and made a lot of great memories. I know, I'll make those memories with someone else but, right now it feels like the ones I made with you will always stick. It's crazy to think that this year started with us at a wedding, talking about how we couldn't wait until it was us that summer. I still remember dancing like idiots to come on eileen and one of your relatives coming up to us and telling us how great we were together. We were best friends and solid as a rock, or so I thought. Now to think the year is coming to a close and were strangers, not having really spoken in 5 months and with other people. Its amazing how much can change in such a short period of time. I know it shouldn't matter and I'm kicking myself for thinking this way but, I've been wondering if you've missed not only the romantic side of things but your former best friend as well. It's foolish and it doesn't really matter at this point, were moving on with our lives and we simply weren't meant to be.

 

Hearing from you once a month has come to a stop now that my sister told you to back off. I know she was just looking out for me but, I thought eventually if you kept asking me about items or for favours, eventually you would reach out when I was ready to be friends. I don't know that thats even possible with you but I miss having you around at all now. I miss our friendship, I don't think much of the romantic side of things anymore, just the fun times we had and how it easy it was to just be in one anothers presence. I still wonder if there was anything more to your messages but I also have the mindset that if you had something important enough to say, you would have the nerve to say it.

 

So, for now I'll continue to stay silent and I anticipate you'll do the same. I've exited your life gracefully and I don't want to do anything to ruin the self respect I've gained because of that. Here to 2017 and dodging bullets, M. You'll always have a piece of me.

[wishyouneverleft]

I miss you so much; that is all.

[SpiritAxela]

I see you on my Facebook messenger.

 

I want to message you. But I know I can't. Because every time I do, you say something else to break my heart just a little bit more.

 

So I won't. I'll just sit...and try to keep myself together. Another day, another fresh set of tears. Another trip down memory lane. I wish I could get another chance, but I can tell you don't want one.

 

So I won't. I won't message you. Or text you. Or anything. After all...you know how to get ahold of me.

[clist8511]

How could you do this to me?

[StrangerThanFiction]

Why did you just up and stop talking to me? I know things were a bit strained after that one text conversation we had, but I thought that we could move past that. I didn't think you would just stop talking to me. It's been almost two weeks since we last spoke and it's killing me. There was no fight, in fact I thought our last conversation was quite pleasant. Did I scare you off when I told you I had feelings for you? Well, if that's what did it then you're a bloody coward. We're both adults and you should've just come out and said it instead of pulling a Houdini.

 

Today I wrote out a message on my notepad that I was going to send you. Something stopped me though. Maybe it was picturing you responding in a way that would crush me. Or maybe it was the thought that you would give me hope for us and keep me hanging on. Maybe I'm the bloody coward for being so damn indecisive. But honestly, I want to be with a man that is willing to fight for our relationship, not one that runs away as soon as things get a little intense. I get that you're in a messed up situation with your ex and you're being torn in different directions because of it...but in that case, you shouldn't have started something with me in the first place. I feel lied to and used. For all I know, you met someone else and that's why you're ghosting. If that's the case, good riddance and you're definitely not the man you led me to believe you were. If that's the case, you're nothing but slime.

 

I think why I'm hurting so much right now is because I'm coming to accept that it's over. Even without the finality of a fight or the actual words being spoken. It kills me that I never got that closure and it's leaving me open to hope and insecurity. I know that closure has to come from within myself. I know that I have to make the conscious choice to let this go and move on...but that damn hope that you'll pull your head out of your backside and realize you're making a huge mistake by letting me go is still there. However, each day that goes by it dies a little more. I need to speed up that process and just murder it straight out so I can get on with my life and be my usual happy self again.

 

I want you to know that I don't really blame you. I knew what I was signing up for when we started seeing each other. I was willing to fight through the difficulties we faced because I believed you to be worth it. It appears that was one sided so perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't believe I'm worth the effort?

 

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm hurting right now. So much. But you know what? I've been through a hell of a lot worse and came out of it on the other side a stronger, better person because I refused to cave to the pain I was feeling even though I came close a few times. I know I'm strong, and that, judging by your actions, is something you can't say. You've stayed in a crappy situation for YEARS even though you were miserable. Why? Because you're a damn coward and are too afraid of making the hard decisions to change it. You say you're going to, but you've been saying it for months. If you actually ever do, kudos, bro! I'll be the first to congratulate you. But I think it's more likely that you'll just rot away in your safe little hell hole until you're forced out of it.

 

So, I need to make the commitment to myself to let you go. I can't go on like this. I hate being sad and yes, angry. That's not me. I'm the joker, the one who's always laughing at something even if it's myself. I thrive in being joyful and finding happiness in the simple things. In having hope for the future. It looks like you won't be a part of it, and sonny, that is definitely your loss. There may come a time when you realize that, there may not, but either way that's none of my business. I can't say in all honesty that I wish you the best right now, but I also can't say that I wish any negativity on you either. You do you and I'll do me. Peace.

[toomanyquestions123]

To the one who shattered me,

 

It was your loss. You once told me when i asked you why did you do all this compromise to be with me you said your grandpa once told you that if you think you have found an opportunity into happiness take it. That was the most romantic thing you ever said to me but you broke my heart 6 months later ? I know i will be happy again and i will heal and find a guy that will TRULY love me but right now i just feel that you were this one. PLEASE be aware that you have indeed broke my heart and soul. YOU have killed me !!While you are moving on or already moved on i dont know, but please bear in your mind that you have shattered a girl by all means !!!

[wishyouneverleft]

That you walked out of my life, only to start trying to string me along, leave bread crumbs, and play the innocent card. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't think about you every day. The memories are becoming more faded, but the gaping whole in my heart that you left will forever leave a scar as it heals. You were my first true love. The first and only woman I felt the urge to leave it all behind. King Edward the VIII left his thrown for his woman, I would of done the same in my company. All to make sure our love grew. I can make a living anywhere in the world and you didn't believe, a reputation that spans continents, and you never had the patience or trust to follow your heart. My devotion to you was limitless and I would of done almost anything had you held on. The minute you faltered and told me the excuses of why we couldn't be together, I saw a woman that completely contradicted herself and couldn't be trusted. My cousin is between us now so you can stop the charades. I refuse to give you any time. Nothing you say can be trusted.

 

I miss the persona you fabricated. I miss the person I connected with that you took away. I only hope you feel at least an 80th of what I feel. My intuition failed me and I hate myself for it. I don't understand how it could be so off. How did I miss the signs? I saw us, our future every time I had a reverie. It was so real, I felt this was it, you were the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. To come home to, to be there during your labor pains. I never even had the urge to think about kids or marriage until I met you.

[toomanyquestions123]

I have my big masters presentation in a while and then i graduate in few hours. I dont know why memories have been hitting me since i woke up. I expected on this day you will be with me, encouraging me and wishing me good luck. Since i woke up, i was thinking of how much i loved you and believed in you. We got engaged so we can get married and i was so happy that i will live with someone i love forever but then u brutally left. I feel i didnt have the "thank you" i deserve. I supported you in everything, i was really a good gf and fiancée. I stood by urself when you didnt deserve to. But you decided to leave for reasons that may matter to you but for me they are not even reasons. On this day, i wish that you were next to me, but you are not, you are just a ghost now arent you ? a faded memory...

[wishyouneverleft]

I have my big masters presentation in a while and then i graduate in few hours. I dont know why memories have been hitting me since i woke up. I expected on this day you will be with me, encouraging me and wishing me good luck. Since i woke up, i was thinking of how much i loved you and believed in you. We got engaged so we can get married and i was so happy that i will live with someone i love forever but then u brutally left. I feel i didnt have the "thank you" i deserve. I supported you in everything, i was really a good gf and fiancée. I stood by urself when you didnt deserve to. But you decided to leave for reasons that may matter to you but for me they are not even reasons. On this day, i wish that you were next to me, but you are not, you are just a ghost now arent you ? a faded memory...

 

 

Wishing you the best with your presentation. Sorry about your loss too.

[trustyourself]

Its her birthday tomorrow. I am firm in not contacting her, but the urge is incredible.

 

All I can think about is her celebrating it with her new guy, and not even giving a second thought about me. I am sure she is happy building new memories and a new life without me.

 

I'm really sad right now. I had been doing so well, but this has really hit me hard.

[Fever of love]

I am burning up to contact you, but I know I can't, and I don't know what I'd even say anymore.

 

My heart is still so heavy. This is the worst experience of adult life, but I know you can't understand that, because you imagine everybody else to be as cold and robotic as you are.

 

I am really hurting right now. Maybe I should go get some beers.

[Fever of love]

Its her birthday tomorrow. I am firm in not contacting her, but the urge is incredible.

 

All I can think about is her celebrating it with her new guy, and not even giving a second thought about me. I am sure she is happy building new memories and a new life without me.

 

I'm really sad right now. I had been doing so well, but this has really hit me hard.

 

Sorry brother, I can relate. Mines birthdays coming up in January, and yeah she'll be with the new guy. Lets get through this.

[wishyouneverleft]

I don't know why, but part of me wants to unblock you on FB, I know you'll message me. I know you'll try to reach out. I miss you like mad and I hate you have that place in my heart you don't deserve. These urges I thought would go away when I got with my new GF. I never loved someone so deeply so I didn't know the extent of the fallout I faced. Usually I'd be over women without a problem.

 

But here I am, still thinking about you, the plans we made, the feeling of just bliss. I dedicated Dan + Shay's From the Ground Up and it brought you to tears and YOU said that was us. Before and after you I never felt an urge to think about marriage, kids, a life more calm and family oriented. YOU brought these feelings out. Now I'm back to the old routine of just doing things because its expected of me.

 

I'm in my 30's and this is all I want now. I don't want that feeling you brought out from me. I never felt it before and it was a feeling of the highest fulfillment and joy that had me thinking of a different life, that I guess I don't deserve because of my past sins. I was always faithful to you. I'm now back to finding joy and love in what I do and making sure I'm back on my two feet. Back to only depending on one person for happiness, fulfillment, love, and compassion. That one person is the one I see in the mirror.

 

I vow to fight tooth and nail from letting you back in, you don't deserve me. You know what you missed out; I know this.

Edited December 19, 2017 by wishyouneverleft

[clist8511]

I wish I had never met you.

 

Before you, I was someone else. Even though I had had my heart broken by B, I was still getting back to myself.

 

I told you all about that heartbreak. I know now that you performed the 'knight in shining armour' routine that so many abusive psychopaths do. You wanted me to believe you had saved me, that you were my soulmate, that you would love me better than she did. But it was all fake, wasn't it? All you did was destroy me; throughout the relationship, and even now that you're not in my life. You have killed me. I am still physically alive, but you've killed me. You have killed my personality, my trust, my spirit, my love for myself, my hopes, my dreams. Everything. I don't go a day without crying about what you've done to me, and the way you've left me.

 

The fact that I told you about all my past pain - the loss of my mother, the heartbreaks I've suffered, my problems with depression. All you've done is add to the pain. Why have you done this to me? What did I ever do to you?!

 

I am sorry I wasn't 100% what you needed at times, but I couldn't have been 100% perfect. No-one is. Why did you expect that I would meet your every single need? Why were you so full of anger towards me for small things? I know why; because you are abusive, and nothing I ever could have done would have been good enough for you.

 

If I had married you, had children with you, moved in with you - done all the things you'd wanted at those early stages (three months!) I think you'd still have done this. Or, there would have just been some other issue, some other reason for you to be angry at me.

 

I don't even know why I still think about you, or why I cry over you. You did nothing but abuse me and you're not even sorry. I sent you that letter before we stopped speaking, telling you how this has messed me up, and all you did was get annoyed because I said you were abusive, and because I'd told people you were. You never once said sorry. Never. Not once. Any other human being would be shocked to find out that they caused someone so much pain - but not you.

 

You are devoid of compassion, empathy, love. You will never be satisfied. This man will leave you, or you'll leave him because he's not doing what you want. You cannot have a happy healthy relationship. You are a psychopath. I am actually scared of you, that's why I don't contact you. I'm scared of what you can do to my emotions, to my mental health.

 

I wish I had never met you.

[Jxmpy]

It’s been 4 months since I have seen your face and heard your voice. Ever since that day you left me, I have never stopped thinking about you. You were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I feel as if 3 years meant nothing to you. I’ve never felt so worthless to someone, especially the person who mattered most to me. I have always fought for you. I accepted the person you were and always looked past your flaws. I was always patient and understanding when it came to you. I was always there for you in your times of need. I was loyal to you, respected you, cared for you and loved you. I found you when you were broken and helped you see light. It hurts my soul how you blindsided me, only to tell me you were burned out. What was there to be burned out about? I constantly reminded you how beautiful you were. I constantly supported your every decision you wanted to do in life. How could you throw away a person who loved you so dearly and would have done anything to make your happy? You say I lacked drive, yet here I am just graduated from college and going further in my life. You lived 6 hours away, and I always made trips constantly to visit you, to show you I cared. I looked forward to each trip just to see your pretty face. For 3 straight years I never got tired of going on 6 hour trips to see you, to be with you and to love you. After all the random surprises I have done and the thoughtful gifts, you threw me to the curb. How could of I have lacked drive, yet done all these things while finishing through college. I promised you I would graduate and finally make the move to live with you, yet you didn’t give me a chance. Here I am finished, yet with a broken heart.

[JFReyes]

Merry Christmas, J.