No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[maybejune]

I was working with a coworker who paid no attention to work and annoyed me again. I remember last year this time, you said to me, my coworker will be screwed when I get a new job and leave all the work to my coworker. I was so happy to hear that from you, you were with me, you understood the pain I had and encouraged me to look forward and move forward. It was the hardest time of my life, but I never told me the biggest challenge wasn't about moving or changing job, but I may have to lose you whom I wanted to spend my life with.

 

I know the memory only exists in my head, no trace anywhere else, not in you mind, not in your life. I am sure time will help me to forget, I really don't want to forget the good memories with you, but those usually make me miss you (in early stage of our relationship though) so much. I still don't know why you changed, I don't have the closure.

[clist8511]

I miss you.

[Beachead]

Dreamed about you last night. I can't explain to you how painful it was to wake up from it only to realize reality was no different. I miss who you pretended to be and what I wanted you to be. I liked her. She made me feel as though a family of my own was possible again. She made me want it. Made me feel like besides my family, I wasn't the only one in in my story that loved me. But she's gone..or rather, never really existed. Turned out, she was just a character that you played for whatever self-serving reason you had.

 

We'll never see eachother again and that was your decision. Not mine. That's all there is to know.

Edited January 20, 2018 by Beachead

[drakon12]

Sometimes I feel bad about not being able to be close to her. She gave me the whole LJBF bullcrap and I didn't want it given I fell in love with her. I had two choices and I chose to gamble. If I were to pull away from her completely, maybe she would come back to me on my terms. It's been like 2 months and she hasn't come back yet. Probably she won't come back, at least in a foreseeable future. I feel temptation to call her or text her or something. But I know I'd hate myself for being a weak man. Just wanted to share. Peace.

[Beachead]

..it still gets so overwhelming sometimes. A random memory. A flashback. I felt heaviness in my chest and a lump in my throat. I don't want to think about any of this or you but it seems I'm stuck with it. I can't erase you like you did me. Today was one of the hardest days I've felt in a long time.

Edited January 26, 2018 by Beachead

[maybejune]

I survived Xmas, your birthday, NYE, without texting you or calling you. I seized all temptations to check your ins. V day is coming, all the commercials are so hateful. I really hope I can see you again.

 

These days, it became more clear that you never wanted to share life with me. It was just me always trying to pull you back to me. I really don't know why I wanted to work things out with you. Maybe you gave me the feeling I always crave for, maybe I wanted to love a person recklessly.

 

The first time we had the sad talk, you asked me what I wanted. I only needed your attention... I know it's stupid, that's the only thing I couldn't ask for. When you were not there, you were not there. When I was not in you mind, how could you pay attention to me, just that simple.

 

I learned to cook something new this week. You once said, we need to have a signature dish for pot luck. We never did, we never had chance, it ended -- and it's not because we didn't have time.

 

Sometimes, I hope you left me for another woman (maybe you did, but I was too stupid to find out, and I don't want to know), at least I would know what your preference is -- I don't need to match up, I just want to know. No closure about why you gave up, why you never wanted to have connection with me, why you changed, or why you didn't see me as a special person to you.

 

I cry a lot over the past week. I start to accept the saddest part of the breakup, I feel stupid, and even shame, because I still have flashback throughout of the day. I cry out when the street is empty, no one will notice. I cry during shower, because the water will disguise me crying. I am so tired. I really am. Please go away, I can't afford thinking about you everyday I wake up.

[broken4good]

Hello, i've been going through a tough one. We dated for a year and she broke up with me almost to the day. I don't know what happened. She changed overnight, went from head over heels in love to not wanting to have anything to do with me. I've been struggling. It's been 2 months and 2 weeks. I can't stop thinking about her and she won't contact me at all. I'm miserable. i've tried dating, but it feels like a temp fix. Almost like a drug addiction. going through withdrawals. BAD... I've started counseling and anti-depressants. But Every day is horrible. I know she has started seeing someone only a month and a week after we separated and that's after she told me she's not meant to be in a relationship. I'm so hurt. My friends are tired of my broken record everyday. I find myself Facebook stalking(even though she has her settings to private). I don't know what to do anymore. I just need closure that she never gave me.

thanks for listening. This sucks...

[Beachead]

I'm ready. I know it's coming. Any day now. I know there's nothing I can do. Whichever outcome it is; never hearing from you again or the news that you got engaged followed by the realization that it truly is over..let it come. There isn't anything you can make me feel anymore that I haven't already felt. Life goes on.

[anonymousbear00101100]

I was the 11th post on this thread a little more than 2 years ago. My life has changed so much since then. Hopefully this is the last time I have to be here.

 

I'm inconsolable tonight. I was fine all day and then everything hit me like a ton of bricks. Everywhere I look I see her. I miss our dog so much. I miss the old days when things were exciting and we were madly in love. I miss sweeping her off her feet and the way she looked at me.

 

Maybe things are better off going forward but I wish I could go back in time and relive it. I'm starting to realize it isn't a race to move on. I just don't think I'm ready to let go yet.

[TaxMan]

I wish I could tell you everything that's on my mind, but I know that would just put me right back at square one and I'd end up back here ... again.

 

I love you, but I am am not sure if I could ever trust you again.

 

It's been 19 days since I've talked to you. That's really no time at all, but it seems like an eternity. Every day I think about calling you, texting you, IMing you. I miss the sound of your voice.

 

I wish there was something I could do to just forget about you. I know this isn't good for me. But I still love you.

 

I wish this wasn't so hard.

[drakon12]

I don't even know what I feel about you right now. I was in love with you, felt like I found the woman of my life and you had to ruin it. Anyways, when I saw you back there, and when we had to talk, I didn't feel anything. I felt like I was successful about letting go of my emotions for you. But I still want you. In a spiritual way of speaking, my mind and my body still wants you but my heart is not sure.

Edited February 1, 2018 by drakon12

[wishyouneverleft]

On one hand, I miss the past. The beautiful smile, the feeling that ran through my body when I touched your skin, the electricity that sent shivers when I kissed those lips. It transcended sexual desire, I just wanted to hold you and let my heart drown the fire you gave it. There was nothing like it, and honestly I know they'll never be again. I remember the past right before everything went south with such splendor, such glee that words I feel only express it in a limited manner.

 

I say "miss the past", because you weren't that person. You weren't truthful and you weren't sincere with your intentions. The further time passes, the more I realize I didn't know YOU, and the person I miss was this side of you that you wanted to be. This person that will never be because of the stagnant, abusive, and oppressive environment you're in.

 

I had a little bit of joy hearing that you still wear my jacket. Though my aunt thinks you're missing me when she saw you wear it, my cousin and I think you just like flaunting an expensive jacket.

 

Every road ends in a wall when I think about the "what if's". There's absolutely no way I would ever take you back. I don't know you and that would mean you're a stranger to me. How can I take back someone I never truly knew? The feeling of distrust is just to much for me to believe anything you say, or reveal. You're far to old to think these traits to simply change. This is who you are, and as much as I miss the person you fabricated, dream about, tear up when ever a song reminds me of you, I have to close this door and continue mourning.

[maybejune]

You are narcissist.

[callmegm]

I wish I could lie to myself and say I wasn't happy to hear from you and your failing relationships, as well as your general failure in life.

 

I wish I could genuinely feel bad for you instead of feeling glee that karma bit you in the ass.

 

You deserve it and that's the only reason why I kept you in my life. So that I keep on realizing that I deserved better than what you gave to me.

 

**** you.

[clist8511]

How could you end our relationship in such a casual way?

 

Telling me over the phone that you just didn’t want to be with me anymore, that you wanted a different kind of relationship, and that this was after having a conversation with (an unnamed) friend? Why was I not spoken to about your unhappiness? Was I expected to just say “oh, yeah, cool”, hang up and go about my day?

 

What the hell is wrong with you? I am so angry with you for doing that to me. You didn’t even have enough respect for me as a person to see me and do it in person. Just a flippant break up over the phone in the middle of the day as if you couldn’t wait to tell me so that you could go and continue messaging.

 

You are disgusting. I have never in my life been hurt or disrespected so often by a person. Breaking up with me constantly, as if it was normal to do that to someone. I was going through intense emotions and pain every time you would do that; and you didn’t care. You are sick. I never, EVER, want to speak to you again. You are vile. I am so much more, so much BETTER than you will ever be.

 

If you called me right now telling me you wanted to try again, I would tell you to **** off. You don’t deserve me. You will never be happy; you are ****ed up in the head. You are rude, irrational, blunt, unintelligent, aggressive, dumb, boring, mundane and surface-level. I could never stand to be around you. I’m glad you left me. My emotions want you, but I don’t. My emotions don’t know any better, they are driven by pleasure and want to satisfy themselves but I KNOW that the truth is I am better off without you.

 

The way you sat there flirting with this man in front of me and then telling me that you couldn’t see me again because I “was always getting upset” – yes, because what you were doing was WRONG. You don’t go to see your ex and be glued to your phone, giggling and laughing at your phone, non-stop messaging another person in front of them. That is disgusting behaviour. I hope he gets you pregnant and leaves you. I hope he gives you an STD. I hope he hurts you. I hope you cry. I don’t wish you any form of happiness.

 

I will never ever contact you again. You are not worthy of being in my life. You have already attempted to destroy me; you won’t get that chance again.

 

What else tears me apart is that I am the kindest, most loving person and partner you could have probably ever had. But it wasn't enough for you. Always accusing me of being untrustworthy, a liar, dishonest, not putting you first - you refused to see me for who I was, and had created some weird ****ing alternate personality that had nothing to do with me. I always put you first. I never lied to you - well, until you started questioning my whereabouts every day. That was the thing, you drove me to my behaviour. You made me act in ways I didn't even know I could.

 

I had to lie to you every day about where I was. I had to pretend to be asleep because if you found out I spent MY OWN free time doing something that didn't involve you, you would start another argument. If I saw a friend I would have to lie, or face a day full of arguing about my true motives with that friend. It was ****ing exhausting and draining, and you have no idea what that did to me. You are a horrible person. You made me into someone I didn't even know.

 

I will never care about you again. I don't love you. Sometimes I feel like I do, but I don't. I know all about ****ing trauma bonding and the body's need to be around the abuser again. But I don't want you. Pathetic bully. To think that all I wanted was to love you and to be loved by you, and all you could do was abuse me for 2 years.

 

I will never contact you but deep down I hope you see this post somehow and realise it's about you. Yes, it's about you. Get it? That gut feeling that you're feeling... yes, you're right. It's about you.

Edited February 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[wishyouneverleft]

Having a hard time processing that day after you broke up with me. You call me repeatedly, and when I block your calls, you e-mail me. It wasn't about second thoughts, or displaying any feeling of remorse. It was to ask me to know if it was alright to pick up a package that you had delivered to my house. How could you do that? You said you loved me, would never leave.... together forever, etc.

 

I truly hope you never find another person that'll make you feel what I've made you feel. I hope the standard I left, and when you see my accomplishments compound into an impossible feat when it comes to replacing me. I hope you're constantly reminded of us, our vows, our promises, and the moments we had. I haven't broken NC and I refuse to. But just know you were my first love and although we can never be in this lifetime, you took something from me that I'll never get back.

[X5CLS]

AWWWWWWWWW Almost called her.. Glad I found this. She is seeing someone else, and I almost caved in.

[Beachead]

Glad I tossed it all way back in month 1. I can just imagine how stupid I'd feel right now, 6 months in, keeping my promise to you of putting it all in a neat little box and tucking it away in my closet so that I could pull it out every few months and remember how you left and never came back. I can just imagine how much more worse I'd feel knowing he put a ring on you and you said yes. You were either selfish, stupid, or never been hurt by anyone in your life but whatever it is, I will never set myself on fire to keep you and others' like you warm ever again. I no longer require the love and companionship of others to sustain myself. If they aren't around during my struggles, I won't let them be around me during my success. They will receive nothing. They call it a lonely life? I call it peace. Solitude. Home. The only one I ever knew.

Edited February 7, 2018 by Beachead

[maybejune]

I had already changed the contact name to 'Don't bother him, plz' since NC of two months. Recently I wondered if he miss me, but I am sure he doesn't and that's not my business.

TBH, I can perfectly recall his number, but I won't. I want to bury it, bury my feeling of him.

Almost five months since BU, two months of NC.

[wishyouneverleft]

I had already changed the contact name to 'Don't bother him, plz' since NC of two months. Recently I wondered if he miss me, but I am sure he doesn't and that's not my business.

TBH, I can perfectly recall his number, but I won't. I want to bury it, bury my feeling of him.

Almost five months since BU, two months of NC.

 

Same here, almost going on 6 months and now more than ever I think about her. I write things down to remind myself why I can never reach out to her after she dumped me the way she did. She's leaving breadcrumbs, but it took me a while to get back on track, and I owe a lot of people the focus and effort to avoid her at all costs.

[lhgirl]

You've been barely speaking to me the last few days yet are online all the time. I want to start a fight to get your attention like a two year old.

 

I want to ignore you like you are ignoring me....I want to feel the apathy you apparently feel.

 

I need to get over this obsession and grow up. I need to stay away from something that gets me this upset. I am sick of wondering if I've done something wrong when I know I have not.

[Realitysux]

You could have told me a lot sooner and your friends could respect my wishes and stop giving me advice. I'm glad you had an opportunity to make someone feel like garbage.

[wishyouneverleft]

God I miss you...

[Realitysux]

It doesn't matter what I say, your friends told me something about dead wood. You don't care about me and haven't for a long time. You could have handled this as if I was a human being but you're selfish and you only care about yourself. The least you can do is let me move on now. I'll find someone when it's my time, not yours.

[Perfidy]

So far so good, for me, no contact since Friday, not very long, I know, but it's a start and I'm beginning to accept the fact that we may never speak or even be friends again. Which sucks, but I think the best thing for me it to learn to accept that as a real possibility, and work toward being OK with that.

Newbie & loving this forum

Accept the empty feeling & Cut off all contact for real. In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence is exactly what you need to process your feelings and change your perspective. It may not feel like it now, but time does heal all wounds. Good Luck

Edited February 14, 2018 by Perfidy