No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[aminae7]

J, This is an amazing day and we live in an amazing world and I want to share the world with you. I love you and you are my number 1 no matter how far apart we are.

[NomiMalone]

I've come to a realisation that when it comes to the crunch, good looks, sex appeal, charm and good salesmanship are all superficial traits that will never make up for the lack of the more intangible qualities in a human being such as self awareness, empathy, emotional maturity, and an ability to make your partner feel safe in a relationship, that are all requirements for a relationship to work.

 

You will always be able to attract women into your world, and do well in the world with your good looks and charm. But your relationships will continue to end badly if you don't address the dysfunction going on internally.

[ENFPgirl]

Dear Ex. I deleted my account Telegram (not just the app) and Whatsapp. I was brave. I didn't think I could do it. You can never see when I'm online anymore. In some way, I wanted you to. But you will not tempt me to see if you are checking for me. I won't be tempted to check on you. You don't actually care, you'd just want to see if I was pinning for you, or laying in a ditch somewhere crying. Well FYI, I'm not. I realize I'm only thinking about you because you were an attachment for 5 years. An unhealthy attachment. It was not a relationship. You were cruel to me and gaslighted me. You kept me away from my family and controlled me. You were arrogant and cold. People thought you were so nice and charming but little did they know you were the devil in disguise. I'll get over you. I know I will. I have people who actually love me. You don't. You don't have friends, only fans. Your family only tolerates you because they fear you. I have talent, you suck talent from other people. I'm kind. You have zero empathy, unless you are putting on an act or needs something from someone. Yes, narcissistic ex, I pray you will soon be dead to me. Until then, I will continue to carry on best that I can with the Lord's help.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I will not reach out to you today. There's no point in trying to keep a connection with you. You're leaving in a little under 2 weeks. Keeping contact with you is just me shooting myself in the foot repeatedly. And that's insane. I think it's better if I just fade out and start really working on getting through the pain now instead of after you leave. Besides, I know you're sleeping with other women. Saying your "goodbyes" to all the chicks that are going to "miss" you. Why should I number myself as just one of many? I'm better than that. I'm still wrestling with the decision to block you on social media either right now or after you leave. I know that within a month or so I'll probably be mostly over this mini heartbreak, but I know that in the interim if I see pics of how happy you are out there or if you start dating someone else it will hurt. Why do that to myself? I guess a part of me doesn't quite want to let completely go yet. I'll get there.

[NomiMalone]

Miss you so bad. xx

[moonandsun]

I feel like you're ignoring my messages..and maybe it's because you need space. Maybe you just never had true feings for me. I don't know what it is. But, all I want is to talk to you and tell you what I feel. What did I ever do to not deserve conversation from you? We didn't have a bad break up.. please just open my message.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I’ve finally hit the anger stage of grieving and I’ll be honest, I’m glad. It means I’m moving forward and not just stuck in sadness. I am pissed off. I’m pissed off at you for the crappy way you treated me and used me. But I’m also pissed off at myself for seeing all the warning flags and ignoring them and then allowing you to treat me like you did. I’m trying not to regret our time together because without it I wouldn’t have learned some valuable lessons about myself, but sometimes I do. I really really do. I don’t like the person I am at the moment. This angry, bitter person who’s having a hard time seeing the good in anything.

 

Before I met you I was happy, always laughing, always willing to see the best of people. Now? I feel like there’s an anvil on my shoulders pressing me into the ground, I rarely laugh, and all I can see is how crappy people treat each other. I’ve withdrawn from my closest friends and prefer to spend my time on my own when before I had an active social life and was always doing something. I feel bad but I find it hard to muster the energy to be around people and pretend that everything is normal. I hate you a little for being a part of why I’m like this. I just hope I can drag myself out of this. I don’t want to be this scarred, callous, untrusting b*tch. It’s up to me to change that though.

 

I WILL get over you. I’m going to take some time out of dating for awhile and focus on my career and finding the person I was before you. I hope for the day when I can think about you and just shrug.

[maybejune]

As time goes by, I see that you and I were really not a match, on different phrase of life, having different life styles, you like things in the ending of S3EP7 in Billions, I don't like that at all. I tried to give us chance to see if we can get along, but the longer we went, the clearer you simply didn't like me at all.

 

I remembered right after breakup, I felt free, I felt the heavy stone finally off my chest, I no longer needed to feel bad if you looked down on me or put everyone everything before me again.

 

I feel sad still, because I didn't realize that I had planned a life which you were in the picture, and that illusion hasn't died down entirely. But I know it will, and you are no longer in my picture, like you chose to never be.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and I miss you. Your birthday is coming up and I’ve been fighting with myself on whether or not to reach out and wish you a happy birthday. In all honesty, it’s causing me a lot of anxiety. That should be a clear answer right there on the correct course of action. What good would come of it if I did? There are no possible scenarios that could come out of me doing so that would make me feel better. You would either ignore it, say a terse thanks, or it would open up dialogue between us again. For all I know you’ve even changed your phone number and you wouldn’t receive it anyway. None of these scenarios would help me, all of them would cause me pain in different ways.

 

My desire to reach out, I believe, is ego-driven. My ego doesn’t want you to forget me so easily. However, the truth of the matter is that you HAVE forgotten me that easily. You were never in it 100% to begin with. I know you were always pining for your ex before me. I don’t think you ever unpacked the baggage from any of your exes, actually. I was nothing more than a space saver to you. I’ve been trying so hard not to think about that because it hurts so much, but I’ve come to realize that pushing the pain away is doing me more harm than good. I need to sit with it and process it if I ever want to move on. So no more. I’m going to allow myself to feel all the pain I’ve tried to hide from and truly put it, and you, behind me. I need to turn the page on this.

 

I’ve recently got back into a healthy lifestyle again and I’m feeling physically better than I have in months. I’ve started to lose the weight I put on during and after we broke up and that’s given me hope. I’ve felt so gross and unattractive and that’s really effected my self esteem. I was in a nose dive. No more. I won’t let this heartbreak ruin the confidence I’ve gained over the last couple years. I will come out of this stronger and happier.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I’ve been having an overwhelming urge to unblock you on FB so I’m going to post here to distract myself and talk myself down off the proverbial ledge. I saw a post on FB from a mutual aquaintance about how she’s moving to your area from here and all I could think was that she’s moving out there to be with you. I don’t know why because as far as I know you guys have only ever been just friends but it just got stuck in my head and this urge to see what was going on in your life overtook me. I knew I wasn’t ready to go back on FB for this exact reason, but apparently I was feeling self destructive today or something. I’ve been seriously thinking about deleting all of the people I met through you off of FB for the last couple of weeks to avoid exactly this and it was really brought home today that I really should do it. I don’t want to get a burst of anxiety every time I open up my newsfeed and it’s not like I talk to any of them anymore anyway so it really wouldn’t be a huge loss. I don’t want to be reminded again and again of how thoroughly you’ve forgotten me and of how great your life is now while mine just seems to trudge on. I hate feeling like this so much. You weren’t good for me and I know we never would’ve lasted even if you had stayed, but it’s cold comfort while I’m still suffering from being tossed out like I was nothing. I hate that everything is going so well for you and that makes me feel so petty that I wish you were struggling like I am. I just want this to be over. I want to be happy again. I feel like I’m losing control of my life and don’t know how to get it back. I still can’t even think about having a new relationship while you’ve probably already met the woman of your dreams. Am I destined to be alone forever? Everyone’s perpetually single friend? At 32 I feel like it’s too late for me now. All the good guys in my age range are already married off with families and what’s left are scum. At least that’s how it feels. I don’t know what to do. Well, one thing I can do is NOT unblocking you. It would serve no purpose other than to send me spiraling downward farther and faster when I see how great everything is for you.

 

Ok, I think my momentary madness has passed. I’m keeping you blocked.

[JFReyes]

@StrangerThanFiction, you will be happy again. At 32 you have a long life ahead and this too, shall pass. Just be patient and keep the faith.

[StrangerThanFiction]

@StrangerThanFiction, you will be happy again. At 32 you have a long life ahead and this too, shall pass. Just be patient and keep the faith.

 

Thanks JFReyes. Sometimes I just need to hear that from someone else. I was not in a good place when I wrote that post. Felt like I was losing my mind. I haven’t felt that out of control in a long time.

[CrazyKatLady]

Feeling pretty good tonight. Hanging out with a good friend, fixing to enjoy a movie.

[fieldoflavender]

Aw I missed this so much. I was so sad that it would be forever gone.

 

So I'm getting more scared with every potential relationship. I have all these bad memories and it's making me miss my ex a lot. I don't want to be with him - but I guess I know how it ended. He can't hurt me anymore.

 

When will I ever heal? Should I just be single foreveR?

[escapedmelody]

Reading some of these posts makes me want to cry!!! I'm FINALLY going to do NC after about four months of my ex and I texting. I'm doing this to finally heal and not let him get to me anymore. He has no control over me and since I ended our FWB relationship last month, which I felt really good about, I know that I can do NC.

 

 

Keep going everyone!! Things will get better!

[escapedmelody]

Question: Have any of your ex's reached out during NC? How did the messages make you feel? And how did you resist the urge to respond?

[JFReyes]

Question: Have any of your ex's reached out during NC? How did the messages make you feel? And how did you resist the urge to respond?

 

None of my short term exes have reached out; no problem. My ex-wife (my children's mother) used to reach out and I responded for the sake of the kids but they're adults now so I hardly ever hear from her. No problem. My ex (of 10 years) doesn't reach out but I occasionally break NC because we have unfinished financial business to conclude. When that's over I don't expect to contact her again nor she contacting me. Once again, no problem.

 

For the past 4 years I've been in a new relationship and it's going great so far.

Keep up the NC, things will improve over time.

[Somethinglovely]

I had a rough day with no contact. I broke it yesterday to figure out why she left me. Well, she told me truth. Though I’m happy I got some closure it seems for no apparent reason the ex seems distant and cold. I wasn’t unfaithful, I was a loving caring boyfriend. I did make a few mistakes with handling emotions when she left me. But I apologized for texting and calling so much. Today I got into an accident. The first person I contacted was my ex and it was stupid but she has been my only friend for a very long time. I didn’t expect her drop everything and come to me but just hurt her response was just good luck. Get it checked out. Why do dumpers act this way? She broke up with me because she wasn’t mentally stable for a relationship and got tired of hiding relationship from her parents( she’s Indian). She claims to still be in love with me but the way she just ignores me is heartbreaking. ?

[Somethinglovely]

Yet another day of one-sided love. I put my phone in the closet and shut it off so I wouldn't text you. I want everything to be okay, I want the relationship to be better, I want truly be with only you for the rest of my life. I hate this feeling, I hate not talking to you. I hate it all. You promised me that I could trust you. I had faith, I let you completely in. How are you able to live with yourself and get up on a daily basis. I've become insane with any thought of you. My only relif is when im unconcious. I used ti be so full of life, so confident, and I wanted and shared that with you. You ate it so much, you made me feel not worthy enough where now, you dont even view me as man anymore. You've killed me my love, all I have now is nothing.

[Somethinglovely]

I broke no contact about a week ago to receive some type of closure well, she answered but I having feeling it wasn’t honest. As much as I tried to contact her, she just ignores me or blocks me. The break up happen because I was going through a lot in my life and relied on her heavily for emotional support and I got clingy. It doesn’t seem right to break up with someone for something like that and at least not try to discuss it. Anyway, I went NC again I’m on dat 4. I’m having a really rough time. Last time this happened, took me months to recover. This situation is much worse. I miss her so damn much, each day that passes it seems she’s slipping away and will forgot about me. We are each other first love so it’s difficult for me. She has a lot going on and I’m trying to respect her , but cutting me completely out of her life? For what? I haven’t abused her or cause her any harm. Why do dumpers do these things

[Dmoney28]

Okay, it's been 10 years. You are married with two kids. You asked me to leave you alone, never contact you, and what we had meant nothing. I accepted that, fixed my issues, and bettered my life. Yet you feel the need to send BS social media requests, email me to literally one or two words......delete me, then three years later send me another request....NOPE, not this time. I'm over you, I'm over whatever we had, I'm over thinking about you, I'm over carrying any semblance of feelings for you, while in my new relationship. I'm done with your games and manipulation. You are such a C**t. I can't wait for the next couple of days to pass, so I can get back to forgetting you exist.

[NomiMalone]

I can't stop thinking about you, and I'm so sad I didn't get to spend Wednesday with you. I really like you and I want to get to know everything about you. The truth is that I'm taking a step back because I feel this isn't right, and it's important for me to do the right thing. I'm so sorry. xx

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I really shouldn't post this, I'll never admit this anywhere but here,

But I think of her all the damn time, this is harder than I thought I fear.

Don't know why I'm hung up on someone who doesn't want me around,

Especially because she chose someone else, my heart is on the ground.

[Jsos91]

Hey,

 

I just wanted to see how you've been doing, I know I shouldn't care. Its been over a year now and it still feels pretty fresh in my memory. I dont understand why you've been on my mind so much lately; I went through a long period where I hardly ever thought of you and I'm starting to question if this is normal. I think it might just be because I'm feeling a bit lost in life right now so I go to thoughts of you for comfort, that seems pathetic to me. There is also the fact that you contacted me a month ago asking how I had been, I shut it down pretty quickly.. as much as you cross my mind, I know I cant have you in my life again.. it would be too hard and too painful for me. You dont seem to understand that, maybe because our relationship just was as impactful for you as it was for me which makes sense since you ended it. I just dont understand you wanting to keep me in your life, is it guilt? I know it most likely is... It bothers me that if your intention by messaging me was to mess with my head, mission accomplished. Not that you would ever know that, I'll never show emotion towards you again.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I miss you. And I still love you. I’ve thought many times about texting you, but I haven’t and I won’t. What would I even say? What would be the point? You’re 15+ hours away and you’ll never come back. It’s better this way. It’s better that we remain in NC. I almost gave into the urge to unblock you on FB just to see what’s been going on in your life but I stopped myself. I’m already emotionally fragile and unhappy and seeing how great your life is while mine leaves a lot to be desired would crush me to dust. Not to mention seeing that you’re with someone new. I don’t know for a fact that you are, but I have no doubt that that’s the case. I need to focus on improving my own circumstances instead of comparing my life to what I think yours is.