No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[MrsCSegura]

Hi, I hope this thread is still relevant. I was with my bf for 5 years. He was divorced for 3 years prior to us getting together. We spent the weekend together the first weekend of this month and the very next day he turned cold. Wouldn’t even look at me. Acknowledge my presence. Only giving me dry responses to anything I asked or said. It was a complete 180°. There was no fight, no big blow up, not even a lil tiff. It was just abruptly cold.

I’m very close to his kids. I have loved and cared for them just as I do my own. I am very much involved in all of their activities, team mom of everything, getting to know their friends and their parents, feeding them, cleaning, all of the things that the BM doesn’t and has never done. But it’s just who I am and how I was raised. I love taking care of my family. And they’ve become our family. Even the in laws have become our family.
The BM cheated on him for years with multiple people, specifically from her church. She belongs to a “church” that worships a human man who is now in prison for sexual misconduct and other inappropriate sexual crimes. Their members believe serving that man and his family will get you to heaven and closer to God. That your prayers will be answered only going through him because he has direct access to God. They call him the apostle. It was a huge issue in their marriage. She would force the kids to go to church every night, EVERY NIGHT, regardless of homework or good nights rest. She ultimately ended up leaving him for one of the men in the church. That didn’t work out. She’s a seductress and is always seeking outside validation from men. You would never know she was a married woman by what shes posted on social media of herself, many filtered sultry pics and videos of herself, winking and puckering her lips, all while they were married and still now.
So fast forward to now, the last couple months she began coming around more. Instead of picking up the kids in the driveway, she would come inside the house when I wouldn’t be there, then spending her time with them there or all going out to eat instead of her taking them to her place and feeding them on her own. The custody schedule on paper is 50/50, but really he has them 99% of the time. She gets them Wednesdays for a couple hours for dinner and Thursdays for a couple hours for dinner then brings them home. Then every other weekend. And often times, more times than not, if it’s one of her days and they have practice or an activity they’re involved in, he has to do it because she’s “too tired.” It has been this way since we have been together, nothing has ever changed until now. 
Now, the first week of June, like I said, he turned cold and distant out of the blue. One of our daughters had an event that week and that day I got her ready for it, then went early to stand in line and get seats. He shows up with her and the other kids, and all of them color coordinating their outfits. They sat away from me and his family. At the end we were taking pictures and he stood away from me. And completely gave me the cold shoulder. Again, NOTHING HAPPENED WITH US, NO FIGHT, NO BIG BLOW UP, NOTHING.

and that’s the last time I’ve seen him. Haven’t spoken to him. Just ghost. 

The following weekend she was moving, he went to help her move, which I knew he was going to do, but she’s now staying at the house. “Her house isn’t ready to move into.”The kids have reached out and they’re devastated. The BM told them they want to get back together and they told her they don’t want that. She doesn’t care. She’s said that she doesn’t understand why God never brought her someone better.

So now they’re living like a “perfect couple.” And it’s been two weeks today since I’ve been NC. I have a lot of things there, things I need, and idk how to get them. I don’t want to see him or speak to him. Yes, I have so much to say, but nothing he says will be beneficial to me or my mental health, I’m so broken over this. And so are the kids. They basically stay in their rooms. 

idk what to do. She hasn’t done any work to heal or be better. She has been so mean and nasty to me the entire time, even though I’ve been good to her children and have been incredibly kind to her. Like, you’d all think I was pathetic, how kind I was to her. I’ve even gotten her gifts for Mother’s Day. And she’s been a complete mean girl to me. And he’s seen it and has stood up for me before. 
 

I’m so blindsided by this betrayal. It’s a huge sock in my stomach. I just don’t know what to do. I feel that there’s nothing I can do. He made his decision, and I’m too good to have to beg anyone to choose me, or give me the answers I deserve. All of this says everything about his character and hers. This has nothing to do with me. 
 

please respond with kindness. My heart needs to be handled well rn. 
thank you.