No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[urmysong]

I know You don't care anything about me anymore so there is no sense to keep holding on. I don't know what to do if I should still keep sending the picture of our son even if You are not asking. My other part I have to keep sending You a pic of our son but the other part of me told me not to cause Your not asking. I want to let You go and leave You alone.

I understand now, we may never see each other or talk again. I hope distance and time heals and we can be good friends for the future. You have no idea how hard it is to force myself to stop thinking about You. I always believe You when You said that loving someone You don't see everyday is not a bad thing, it's just proof that love is not in sight but felt in the heart.

I cry everytime I think about the past. I gave up my personal dreams and marry You and dream with You. I don't know if I will still fall in love again.

Just stop coming back into my dreams...I want to move on.

[broodneach]

I understand you needed new experiences, and I guess I understand you needed to have them with other people and not me - with old friends, or with strangers, or whatever. I just don't know why you needed to blame me for it, and to make me feel as though it was my fault you couldn't handle a relationship. Wanting normal things isn't controlling and needing time to process when you hurt me isn't judgmental. I shouldn't have held the relationship over your head, but you were so cruel or unreliable at such surprising moments, and I couldn't help but panic. I was always supposed to be the calm and thoughtful one and when I couldn't manage it, you said I lacked empathy and that my depression was boring and choking you. All this happened in a span of three months, so I have no idea why I'm regretting ending things so much.

[SeriousAsparagus]

You broke up with me... But what's with you sending subliminal messages on a chatting program? Leaving the emoji we both shared, using the movie you first told me about. Ha then again it might be for someone else. Some other girl. And then my heart sinks all over again.

 

These days when I dream of you, I forget you quickly when I open my eyes. I don't want you to come back, I don't want you to hurt me again. And I don't think I will accept, because it feels too much like my first relationship.

[SixxChick]

I helped, supported and believed in you for almost two years. Through your divorce, depression, anxiety attacks, demise of your business and financial ruin. I even went out of my way to be there for your self-admitted "problem" children (sending them to Disneyland, buying expensive Halloween costumes, etc.). Yeah, they are brats and have no manners because they are learning all of those bad character traits from you. You were scratching your head about that aspect of your life. But it was so apparent to me why everything was going south. You're either blind or your head is up your a**.

 

You got way behind in paying me rent, but I never pressured you because I knew you were under a lot of stress. My mistake. When I finally had to pull the financial plug, you were gone. Poof. No "Thank you". No "I'm sorry". Not even "Have a nice life."

 

I hate that I hate you. But I will be better off without you. Someday, that will feel better than it does today.

[broodneach]

What is wrong with me? I still so desperately want to know if all the things you said you were feeling while you were with me were real. Some part of me cares so much whether you couldn't tell anyone else your feelings the way you said, whether nobody listened to you the way I did, and so on. And of course whether the sex was as good as you said.

 

I'm still trying to figure out what was going on inside that insane head. I've been here before, too; I know how this goes. I think, What could I have done to stop this; how could I have held this off? What clues did she give me, what signs, or what might I have told her earlier on to keep her from treating me the way she did? I excuse a lot based on your age. Maybe someone in their early 20s still needs to learn that they can't always have what they want right now, that they might want something else later. I'm thinking about all that far more than I'm thinking about the terrible way you made me feel, and how often you did. Why am I doing that?

 

Am I the insane one? When we fought, it was always because you snapped at me. But did I overreact to that? Was I too insecure, too defensive? Should I have trusted you more? Obviously not, based on recent events, but... Maybe if I'd just said "Okay" to everything, just nodded and gone along, there never would have been a single problem, and you would have just kept on wanting me. If I'd let you do whatever, and liked everything you liked, and done everything you asked... Would that have been enough for you to care how I felt?

[peonyrose]

I never imagined you would leave me.we sat and spoke about our wedding only 2 weeks ago. We visited your family in Germany 6 weeks ago and now you blocked me from everything I never got to say anything to you. You never gave me a chance. It angers me so much. I gave you my full wide open heart something I never did. We were crazy in love, what happened us? Where did it all go wrong? How are yuou so cold? I am left in our house with all the memories I see you everywhere I go. Its been a week since I last saw you stand in our kitchen. I hate this house now I hate the memories. I hate that you hurt me in such a way that we will never be together again. If you begged I could never take you back. That hurts the most. You were 49 I was 35 I thought you were a good man a mature man a man whod never hurt me. You bwrote me love letters, love poems filled me with love you made me feel again.now I feel nothing, I am numb. Nothing seems real I feel like I am in a bad dream a twilight zone. You lost such a good woman I was so loyal, completely honest, I was me. God I hope I move passed this pain. You left me with quite a mess to sort out. Still I can wish you no badness so it makes me think that I am a good person that I will get passed this. I hope life gives you all your dreams. That one day you look back on our years togethert and think godi loved that woman, that you say sorry to me and maybe the universe will let me hear it. I will think of you for the rest of my life not daily but I will wonder if you are happy. Damn, you made such a mistake losing us. I write this with a heavy broken heart and so many tears..Fly away my bird may you finally find your perch. I love that we loved each other.

[toastytiger]

Ugh. I hate you so much! I hate that you had the nerve to to text me to come over after all you've done. I hate how it confuses me. I hate that I'm regretting saying no. I miss you and it's so hard to say no to seeing you. But I need to have some sort of respect for myself, some sort of boundaries.

I hate seeing you at dance. I hate that it just stirs up all these confusing feelings. I hate that you walked by me and winked -- who do you think you are? I feel like you are living on another planet. I want to get over you. I'm sad that I miss someone who doesn't exist. That you're not who I thought you were. Why did you have to come into my life if you were just going to string me along? What do you want from me??

 

I am craving the touch. Everything is reminding me of you today. I wonder how I can be so blinded by my idea of love, my idea of you.

[broodneach]

I'm at the wedding. I took the bus you picked for me and I'm in the hotel room you reserved for me. Thank you for that. Yes, I can be a little dysfunctional. Yes, you helped me with some things.

 

But you also told me I was bored and scared and that I was barely living my life. Well, I think life is more than just having a lot of new experiences, especially your stereotypical Euro trips and cookie-cutter bar crawls. Life is also what you build and what you pass on. You're doing none of that and you never will. In our last conversation you said we couldn't stop talking because you have nobody else you trust with your feelings. You should think about that.

[NIGHT1985]

I can't stop thinking about you... Your birthday is this month, and I always spoiled you and made it a huge event. I wonder if you even think of me, because I spend every hour of my day full of regret over not doing things differently. I found out today that my best friends helped convince you to move on and not to work things out with me, it explains the complete 180 you had the last few times we talked. I feel so hopeless and lost, and I know you're happy in someone else's arms. I don't believe in suicide, but I'd be lying if the thought hasn't crossed my mind.

[K2z]

Peace, or some remote semblance of it, is returning to my heart. It has been a full year since you walked away, 8 months since you married.

 

Peace has come at a cost. There is no choice but to despise you, spit you out like toxic bile. My policy towards you is scorched earth. Not a photo, not a knickknack, will remain anywhere where I can see it.

 

I disrespect you. I do not wish you harm or terrible fortune, but I do not wish you the best. And I wish I could scrub you completely from my memory.

[StrandedWithOne]

Background to this post (read all posts!)

 

To my surprise, the second day of this my-sided NC is much worse than the first day... The worst feeling is knowing that so far she wasn't concerned with how my day was/my physical and emotional well-being. If she was was, she could text me, like I did when I thought about her every day, even if I had nothining more to write... But I think that I will cope with NC for the rest of today. Next days are still great unknown...

[toastytiger]

Uh-oh, I''m having strange urges to contact him to hang out as friends today. Not sure where this is coming from.

 

Been almost two months since he broke up with me. And about 5 weeks since we last spent time together. The beginning was filled with so much hate, sadness, and rage, but the past 2/3 weeks I've been feeling really great -- dare I say, happy almost. I even went on a date a few days ago and it wasn't horrible, hah.

 

Suddenly I'm feeling called to see him. I've done a lot of forgiving and I'm so curious how he is. And I'm regretting denying his last two attempts to hang out.

 

I tell myself I'm missing him as a friend... I don't want to get back together with him after all that happened. But I want to be careful I'm not deceiving myself or that there's some unconscious sliver of hoping to get back together. I'm a bit worried seeing him might set me back. But I feel solid in myself and am desiring an amicable relationship for some reason.

 

I don't know! Don't want to create anymore pain for myself. Is this a phase I shouldn't act on? Just last week I was feeling strongly about keeping distance.

[Emilia]

What's with the LinkedIn profile checks dude? Every time I make a small change, you are there within 48 hours.

[Frank13]

Uh-oh, I''m having strange urges to contact him to hang out as friends today. Not sure where this is coming from.

 

Been almost two months since he broke up with me. And about 5 weeks since we last spent time together. The beginning was filled with so much hate, sadness, and rage, but the past 2/3 weeks I've been feeling really great -- dare I say, happy almost. I even went on a date a few days ago and it wasn't horrible, hah.

 

Suddenly I'm feeling called to see him. I've done a lot of forgiving and I'm so curious how he is. And I'm regretting denying his last two attempts to hang out.

 

I tell myself I'm missing him as a friend... I don't want to get back together with him after all that happened. But I want to be careful I'm not deceiving myself or that there's some unconscious sliver of hoping to get back together. I'm a bit worried seeing him might set me back. But I feel solid in myself and am desiring an amicable relationship for some reason.

 

I don't know! Don't want to create anymore pain for myself. Is this a phase I shouldn't act on? Just last week I was feeling strongly about keeping distance.

 

 

Don't do it. Nothing good will come from it. You won't get over him if you keep staying in contact. Don't go back to square one. You can't be friends this soon. Maybe in the future but not now. Post on this thread instead of contacting him. Stay strong.

Edited June 15, 2016 by Frank13

[toastytiger]

Thanks Frank. I didn't contact him. And I won't, not for a long while at least. I'm lying to myself by saying I can be friends with him this soon. I think I just missed him and was making up reasons. What a tricky mind.

Addiction. I'm addicted!

 

Note to self: I don't need to feel like a bad person for not being friendly... This is not for him. I don't owe him anything! This is for me. Because it's what I need to do to take care of myself and move on.

[Frank13]

Good for you Toastytiger. That's exactly what it is. You miss him so you make up the reason that you can be friends.

[StrandedWithOne]

I know that crying my eyes out beacuse of you would neither change you a little bit or our situation... When you are not contacting me in any way I feel lost and powerles...

Shame on you.

[SeriousAsparagus]

I miss you. I miss what we had. I saw our photos when I was trying to clean out my phone today. I wanted to delete them off of my phone. But I couldn't do it. I saw some of our old texts, and even the video I made for you before you left. I think I really gave you everything I had at that time. Everything I could do for you, I tried to. And now I'm really trying to resist the urge to contact you. I wonder if you still think about me. Or if you've already deleted everything...

[Trinity_84]

Am I supposed to send you back that thing you said I could have?

 

Our friend said he'd be pissed off if his ex didn't send it back. Well, I offered to but then things didn't work out and also you said I could have it. You said you didn't need it!

 

Am I a horrible person for not sending it back? We haven't spoken in 2 months so I suppose you're not desperate to get it back. If you were, you would've mentioned it or reminded me, no?

 

You probably forgot about it already and I'm getting all caught up on what our friend said. Oh well. If you ever do take a second of your time to send me a message about it, I will consider sending it back. In the meantime, I'm going back to my life.

[SixxChick]

I forced myself to go on a date last night. It's someone I have known for about ten years. You know him too because you are both in the same profession. I knew that he has had a crush on me ever since we met. However, I was never really attracted to him like I was to you. He made dinner for me and basically pampered me like you never did. And yeah, I ended up spending the night. But, why were thoughts of you swimming through my head while he was holding me? Why haven't I been able to completely let go of a loser like you? It didn't feel natural with this guy, and I don't think I am going to pursue it any further. But I did get the sense that he appreciated my company more you ever did because I was just a meal ticket to you.

 

It's astonishing the amount of hatred and contempt I hold for you. I just look forward to the day when you are completely off of my brain. For three years, you have been unable to put a roof over your children's heads. Time's a wasting and you are missing out on some of the most important years of your kids' lives. I tried to help you with that, but you are so lost, clueless and unaccountable for your own behavior while pointing the finger at everybody else. It was only a matter of time before you started blaming me for everything going wrong in your life. That is what narcissists do.

 

Happy Father's Day.

Edited June 20, 2016 by SixxChick

[TheSwanGirl]

Hi! It's been 49 days since the last day we talked. It's been more than a walk since I don't stalk you. I don't even want to, because I know I will get hurt with all the things you post about you and her being together. It hurts me deeply, how you treated us, how you replaced me so quickly after long five years.

 

But nevermind. I don't even want to talk to you. I don't even want to see you. You're the most blocked person on Earth. There's nowhere you can find me. You're even blocked from Gmail, so no emails would get to me.

 

Thank you for showing me what people you love is capable of doing.

[dcasper]

I'm passing through a painfully difficult (interesting?) and intense period in my life – in anybody's life. Hard questions of marriage and family and commitment and love and belonging and sex and meaning. It's been so squirmingly uncomfortable. Like never before.

 

Boy, would I have loved to have had you there to share it with. Smart you and intuitive you and willing to call them as you see them you. Plus the you that knows me so well. And you would have made me laugh.

 

You really were my best friend. That's true. I managed to lose you just when I needed you most.

 

Now, you are to me like a two dimensional version of your old self; maybe I appear that way too. I know I caused it all. I don't blame you. I constricted you and repulsed you and went too far and scared you and wore you out. I could try to explain how I was sort of temporarily insane, but it doesn’t really matter. I broke the rules. And, I broke the thing that was so unique and important about "us". And I miss it so ****ing much. And I'll never forgive myself for fooling it away.

[dcasper]

"Soon". "Before long". You never deliver. Thought we were friends. I got fooled. Sure was fun. Not chasing you anymore.

[Echo1334]

Its been 5 days NC and I so desperately want to send him an email. I know I shouldnt since it might just reopen my not at all healed pain. Hes still on my mind the majority of the day. I know that contacting him I run the risk of him not responding which will hurt, him telling me to not contact him and then him blocking me, me ruining or negatively impacting the investigation. But maybe just maybe hell talk to me and explain why he lied, if he ever cared, and everything else I want answered. Maybe hell tell me that he left her and wants to be with me but I know all Id read is that Im his second choice. He might be pissed because I started the investigation. Yet I cant stop daydreaming of him showing up here and wanting to talk or him messaging me and wanting to talk. I so desperately just want him back.

[Trinity_84]

Its been 5 days NC and I so desperately want to send him an email. I know I shouldnt since it might just reopen my not at all healed pain. Hes still on my mind the majority of the day. I know that contacting him I run the risk of him not responding which will hurt, him telling me to not contact him and then him blocking me, me ruining or negatively impacting the investigation. But maybe just maybe hell talk to me and explain why he lied, if he ever cared, and everything else I want answered. Maybe hell tell me that he left her and wants to be with me but I know all Id read is that Im his second choice. He might be pissed because I started the investigation. Yet I cant stop daydreaming of him showing up here and wanting to talk or him messaging me and wanting to talk. I so desperately just want him back.

 

Something that works for me (might or might not be healthy, I dunno!) is to just ASSUME in my mind that the other person won't reply. That they have moved on to someone else and my attempts at contact will be pathetic. I tell myself this over and over. It works most of the time. If I'm drunk then it might not

 

But anyway, be strong. There's nothing you need to talk to your ex about. Really. There isn't!!! Whatever he did or lied about, it's in the past. And the past is an illusion now. Good luck.