No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Wilde_Silas]

So as I did my daily lunchtime walk and cut across the road to get back to the office, there you were in your car having to slow down to allow me to cross. Our eyes met for a brief second before my anxiety kicked in and caused me to flee as quick as I could back to work with my tail between my legs. How can two people who have shared the most intimate of times resort to this most impersonal of acknowledgements? The irony is I have spent the last few months walking around the roads constantly thinking about you and perversely hoping to catch a glimpse of you and then when I finally do, I basically go into a meltdown and flee back to work to post this.

 

That sick feeling in my stomach is now back with a vengeance. I thought over the last few weeks I had gotten stronger. I thought wrong...

[justanickname]

I dont block you, you know that. And for me the best way to know if I am over you is to know you are there, always reachable by a click and I have no temption to do that. Today it worked!! Seeing you online, so what? I know I still have curiosity sometimes, but the need and wanting to reach out is really gone. You are now as an acquaintance. You really are.

Thanks that the ball is in your court and I don't care. This is the last words I post here, to you.Peace for both. I dont hate you, not at all. Love, gone. Some people said, reverse of love is not hatred but ignorance. I think so, too. So yes, as acquaintance, take care and regards.

Edited July 7, 2016 by justanickname

[toastytiger]

Get out of my head, please.

Our relationship wasn't that great.

I don't need you to be happy.

Thx, bye!

[BelleSkye]

I wish you were in love with me.

[Rick_Ralty]

It’s been two weeks now and we haven’t spoken to each other

 

—

 

I just want you to bury your face into my chest like the night before you dumped me

 

I want another lazy morning cuddling and snuggling before you finally had to be at work

 

I desire you

 

I still have mad intense feelings for that seem grow day by day

 

My life has felt like some weird purgatory

It feels like I’ve just been transposed here

I don’t recognize anything and nothing is familiar

 

Sometimes I’m numb, other times it feels like I’m going to suffocate

 

Sometimes when I’m about to fall asleep - I come to the sharp realization that you’re no longer part of my life and feel the adrenaline run through my system

[guest569]

I truly believe that we had something really special. What happened? When you said you were falling in love with me, did you mean it? It meant so much to me, hearing that. Then it just didn't evolve into anything. Our relationship ended over something that should have been nothing. So tiny and insignificant. But it destroyed everything. Why? Why couldn't we just work through it? I thought we were such a good match and so similar, we just clicked so well. It's such a shame and a waste.

I miss you so much.

[tomatome]

I don't like you anymore and I wish to never see you again. I was just the placeholder in your life until something better came along. The worst thing is that I knew this. Many times my higher consciousness told me to let you go but you told me each time that you 'didn't want to lose me.' I thought you were nervous because of what happened with your ex in the past; I mistook your insecurity for desire. Every time I tried to escape you would pull me back toward you; even if you didn't want me, you didn't want anyone else to have me.

 

The first time was when I came back from the UK in 2014. I had dinner with you at the Egyptian restaurant and gave you your souvenirs. I was in love with you but I thought you weren't interested and had decided that I would not see you after that. You had baggage: you kept going on about the foreign ex, now in his home country, that you had dated for seven years. Six weeks later you invited me to dinner and told me you missed me. We kissed for the first time. I should have known something was wrong when earlier you had cried about your foreign ex having a child with another woman. But I heard only what I wanted to hear. You went to Spain after that and came back and ignored me for a few weeks. It was always push and pull.

 

At Christmas 2014, I wrote you your first love letter, but my words were tinged with the possibility of just being friends. I was surprised that night by your suggestion of moving forward. I told you that you ran hot and cold, but you said that you had always been consistent. In May 2015 you broke down and told me of all the reckless sexual activity you pursued after breaking from your foreign ex. Again I suggested that you needed a friend, not a lover. You asked what that meant and I said that for me it would mean being friends but that I would spend more time dating others. But again you said you didn't want to lose me. We had an argument in October 2015 about sex and how we communicate with each other. Same pattern: I should be your friend. No, you said, 'you don't want to lose me.'

 

Away in the UK this year I felt so lonely and insecure. I told you about this when I came back and same pattern, 'you don't want to lose me.' I wrote a long letter telling you how much I loved you and that I would be willing to be you husband. I tried to help you the best I could when your friend past away from cancer. A week before our break up, after being a bit out of touch from being sick and busy at work myself, you complained to me that boyfriends should communicate more and that you were afraid that I was not going to talk to you anymore. That following week you found that your foreign ex had divorced. Suddenly I was not your boyfriend (you had been speaking 'generally' the week before), and you didn't seem to care about losing me even though I had helped you 'feel better about yourself.' You were angry that your ex hadn't told you about the divorce. You said this in front of the real person who had cared and comforted you these past few years. You haven't seen your foreign ex in five years.

 

In a way I can't really blame you for your obvious emotional problems, the worry of abandonment and extreme self-loathing. Weeks now after the break up I realize how selfish, condescending, inconsiderate, volatile, vain and rude you were, all extensions of your psyche. I am angry you didn't take care of these issues. I pity your future husband and children but this is not my responsibility anymore. But I am most angry that I lowered my standards and boundaries to someone so awful, but the push and pull is an awfully addictive drug. I am angry that part of me still loves you. These are my only regrets.

 

Please stay the hell away from me.

[K2z]

Every single night, I used to be here, on this site.

 

Obsessing over the threads, formulating things to say to you here.

 

Engrossed in a suffering so immersive, that at moments I almost feel nostalgic for it. When there is nothing but suffering, and the frenzied attempt to nullify suffering with pills and alcohol, life is kind of perversely easy.

 

Some days I surprise myself how well I function, and move through both the external and internal mental processes of a normal life. I laugh. I read. I watch documentaries. I have ideas. I have taken up the saxophone.

 

Constantly, constantly, constantly, at varying frequencies and volumes, there is you, though.

 

One minute, I am so sure I hate you. The next, I see some nuance... I see some warnings you sent out that I should have taken more seriously, and I am on my back foot, wondering just how deeply I am in the wrong. The next minute I am cerebral, and I find I merely disdain you, and the choices you made that were so hurtful to me, choices you made out of a flawed frame of reference because we couldn't communicate.

 

It is like a tongue constantly probing the site of a toothache. It is the broken foot, flaring up when it gets damp. It is the phantom pain of an amputated arm.

 

I purge you. I want you gone. And sometimes you are more here than ever.

[Sunnymae]

I don't know why I'm still holding on to HOPE. The hope that things can go back to the way they were, or That We could perhaps remain friends, but as of right now I'm not sure if that would work. You'd probably be too busy dating, and I would just get hurt all over again. Plus you already made your feelings or lack of perfectly clear. It's in my best interest that I give up hope. So, please stop emailing me. Yes I'm angry and hurt that you used me to get through your divorce, and how you so nonchalantly admitted it. No big deal, I guess I used you for a place to go to when things with my kids got to stressful, the only difference is that I actually valued your friendship, and intimacy. I guess Im still upset about it, so I'd rather not receive any emails from you, unless it's an emergency. I have a couple of your items in my possession that I would like to mail to you. Please send me your mailing address and I'll send it asap.

Edited July 28, 2016 by Sunnymae

[Trinity_84]

Hey

 

I got your message, but I am not going to reply to you anymore. It's not that I am angry at you, or sad about not having you in my life, or upset about how things went down. I just don't know why but I don't want to reply.

 

Maybe it's got something to do with finding out that right after our break up you rushed back to be friends with that one ex you vowed not to care about or want to be friends with (when you were with me). Who knows why you've done that. It's not my business anymore.

 

So, yeah, perhaps it's resentment. Perhaps it's your little bait "sorry for not replying sooner, been a weird time" reply. The **** do I care what kind of time you've been having?

 

I have finally decided that I will not reply to you anymore. You are in my past, and that's where I want to keep you from now on.

[tomatome]

I don't know why I'm still holding on to HOPE. The hope that things can go back to the way they were, or That We could perhaps remain friends, but as of right now I'm not sure if that would work. You'd probably be too busy dating, and I would just get hurt all over again. Plus you already made your feelings or lack of perfectly clear. It's in my best interest that I give up hope. So, please stop emailing me. Yes I'm angry and hurt that you used me to get through your divorce, and how you so nonchalantly admitted it. No big deal, I guess I used you for a place to go to when things with my kids got to stressful, the only difference is that I actually valued your friendship, and intimacy. I guess Im still upset about it, so I'd rather not receive any emails from you, unless it's an emergency. I have a couple of your items in my possession that I would like to mail to you. Please send me your mailing address and I'll send it asap.

 

Hang in there Sunnymae.

[JFReyes]

J,

 

I wonder what your reaction would be to know that I'm seriously ill. Pity? Indifference? Something else?

 

It doesn't matter that much because I already have someone that loves me and will stick with me throughout the ordeal, which God willing I'm confident I'll overcome. But you're still alone so I wonder...

[healthyhopes]

you won't come back because I don't want you back (ad infinitum, naseaum; i've said it enough times that now it's true)

 

I know your dislike for cigarettes, so I actually bought a back and smoked one to burn whatever red cord still connected me to you, spat out the hook that read with your name, and with it came all the blood and guts and bad crap-- and because of all that, despite how terrible you were, I was empty. so I sat on the slide at the park and smoked another square and out came the sappy **** like "I wish him the best, despite it all," but then I remembered that I was the best, and that you'll never have me again, thank god, so I put that cig out and it wouldn't go-- just did that slow burn on a park bench, and I let it there to cleanse the air like incense or sage or whatever-- who even cares anymore-- and went home to take a shower.

 

 

(That's it, it's done, I heard your name yesterday and I didn't care and this post just marks the fact that my ego is still slightly bruised after our last conversation, and I shouldn't have taken your crap like I did, but the important part here is that I forgive myself. And it's done, screw off, you'll never have me, and I've won.)

 

.

[SixxChick]

I'm a little all over the map with emotions today. Ironically, it's in a weird kind of good way. I saw some wedding pictures on Facebook that various friends have posted. Yep, they look so happy. In my cynical brain, and because of you, I am waiting until they post that they are separated, cheating, getting a divorce, found out the person they fell in love with was someone that does not exist, etc. Thank you for that.

 

BUT, to counter all of the negativity you brought into my life, I have little sprinkles of a lot of hope. There have been a few people who have been brought into my life that I am not taking for granted or ignoring. These people have motivated me physically and spiritually. Consequently, I am feeling better (and sleeping better) than I have in about a year. For that, I am grateful.

 

Next month will be one year since I last laid eyes on you. I know for a fact that nothing has changed in your life. In fact, it has gotten worse. That is not my problem anymore. I tried so hard to help get you on your feet, but entitlement is the least attractive character trait of all.

 

That is all for now. I will elaborate further on the anniversary of September 18 when I left your sorry ass at the club for the show that I bought tickets, dinner and drinks, while you were off and busy texting and FB'ing in the men's room. I guess you got good at doing a lot of things with one hand behind my back.

 

P.S. Thanks for this month's payment. Remember, interest continues to accrue, so it would behoove you to use someone else, scam the money, and pay my balance off in its entirety in order for this NC business to take full force and effect.

[Unscrewed]

Thank god I learned the habit of never looking at your social media account while we were still dating! And thank god we don't have any mutual friends!

Just don't get too famous, I'd hate to see you on TV with that stupidly large smile on your fat face.

[TheSwanGirl]

I thought I was over you by now, or at least almost over you, but it's been a hard week for me. My birthday and you didn't even attempt to write me. I know I was the one to start NC, and I know I didn't call you on your day, but you probably didn't even remember it was my birthday. After six years, and you didn't even think about me.

[jonesey0]

I thought I was over you by now, or at least almost over you, but it's been a hard week for me. My birthday and you didn't even attempt to write me. I know I was the one to start NC, and I know I didn't call you on your day, but you probably didn't even remember it was my birthday. After six years, and you didn't even think about me.

 

Of course he thought about you. Probably had a awful day, battling with himself if he should say something.

 

But since you didnt call him either, he is just going along with what he thinks you want, and respecting your wish to not have contact.

 

After six years together, i can assure you still run through his mind everyday. Believe me.

 

Stay strong.

[sooshi]

I miss you so much. I hope and trust that you are well. Take care.

[TheSwanGirl]

Of course he thought about you. Probably had a awful day, battling with himself if he should say something.

 

But since you didnt call him either, he is just going along with what he thinks you want, and respecting your wish to not have contact.

 

After six years together, i can assure you still run through his mind everyday. Believe me.

 

Stay strong.

 

I thought he just forgot about me due to he left me for another girl. But I know he's respecting the NC because I asked him to please stop contacting me. He tried to mantain contact but I know what's best for me. This is the best for me. I just thought he didn't even remember my birthday.

 

You made my entire day with this message. Thanks for the insight, I will stay strong. I hope you're winning the battle you're struggling with.

[Bialy]

I miss "us" every single day.

 

Every.

 

Single.

 

Day.

 

I miss being at the "core" of your life.

 

I can't imagine a future without you. It's hard.

[NIGHT1985]

I don't know how to go on without you... Everything feels so pointless and dull. It hurts knowing that you've moved on and are most likely enjoying the things we enjoyed together and planning the dreams we did together, with your new man. It hurts that what feels like a blink of an eye that I lost you and everything we planned. I know you don't want to see me weak and want me to move on, but it's so hard. You were so damn good to me and I took uou for granted... Where is my time machine?? Why am I sitting in bed for hours and hours staring at the ceiling or my phone?

 

I'll always love you B

[vvv888]

I miss you. It takes everything in me to stop myself from reaching out. I wish we could turn back time. I miss our late night chats and cuddles. I miss us but I know we can never be together again. I am sorry it has to end like this. I hope you understand.

[AlexAD]

It's been over a month since we spoke. I don't even count the days anymore. You called me twice two nights ago for the first time since silence. I miss you so much. I miss your face and the way I felt about you. It doesn't get easier - I've done this before. It used to get a little easier but that because I didn't love them like I love you. How do I think about someone this much who doesn't want me? Do I continue being silent? What will that do? Does that push you away further? I already feel there's no hope and we'll never be but talking over and over wasn't bringing us any closer. When you called me two nights ago, I woke up to see it and felt mesmerized and again under your spell. You don't know that - do you? I wonder what you think about? If you agonize like I do? My heart is filled to the brim with sadness and nostalgia, so much so that I feel like it might explode. When I sometimes think your medicine is the only cure, I guess the distance we've taken reminds me now that there is no cure except nothingness. What a shame. What a sad time. I guess anyone can fall out of love this way.

 

I question how you treated me and see it in my treatment of others. Lackadaisical care, a glance, a missed embrace....I don't care for them like I want you and maybe that's how you felt towards me. I don't understand it at all. I didn't act older or wiser, I acted villainous at times because I wanted to destroy the side of you that made me feel less than and what's worse was the way I wanted to shake you and tell you that you loved me. I know you will regret this and by then, the longer we don't speak and the more I ****, the less I'll care. How sad.

[healthyhopes]

Hi! I haven't spoken to you in a while. Some things that you should know:

 

 

1) The Methodist temple where we used to hook up apparently has security cameras

 

2) I am making memories with better people now, and there's a small chance that I might enter a relationship soon; or at least I hope I do. He's a cool kid and I like him a lot.

 

3) Today I drove past some of our

old

haunts and kind of thought about what happened for a bit. The past is a very long rope that trails behind me and, on nights where I feel particularly inclined, I tend to choke myself with. For example: I contemplated whether I would wish you a happy birthday in a couple of months. (Loveshack would be glad to hear the decision I made was "no")

 

4) I deleted you from my snapchat

so

that I wouldn't see your stories, and wouldn't be inclined to contact you anymore to ask about what's-this or what's-that. It's not about feelings anymore at this point; it's that I truly miss your friendship. Similarly, I made similar modifications on all social media that we share. It really is done.

 

5) I thought about it and tried to cry at the park but really you're kind of a condescending, misogynistic jerk

 

6) I don't know what it is I miss, but I miss something (that's the weakest thing I'll say, but god knows there's something more specific that could be said... why in these kinds of cases do we insist on showing the exposed belly, I'll never know)

 

7) My life is only reserved for those who make an effort to stay in it; as much as it hurts knowing that you don't care for me anymore I must remind myself of update #5 and also the fact that I am worth more than breadcrumbs. I also will never send you another message again, and will not initiate anything ever again. You lost your opportunity of having my company and as crappy and ultimately self-defeating as it is to say such a thing (as it reflects my desires more than yours), I hope you regret it.

 

 

Goodnight, I hope you are well, and I hope you hope that I am well also,

 

Healthyhopes.

[healthyhopes]

It honestly pisses me off how you told me you wanted to hang out, would contact me, and then, radio silence till the school year started once again. Did you enjoy holding the ball in your court?

 

I don't want pity or sympathy! like, haha yeah! it would be nice to hang out! Catch up! It would be so pleasant, it's such a nice idea theory, OR, I could just bring it up so that I can seem like a good guy with minimal effort!!!! I don't actually care about you! I don't want to hang out with you! It seemed like a good idea at the time but I just remembered that you are boring and all the catching up in the world fit right into this here text message! amazing.

 

^I really hope you just scared yourself off. The worst thing on the entire world would be to be on the receiving end of pity