No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Baileylovesloki]

I know what it's like for all of you. You can't talk to anyone because they say "just move on". Like it's that easy. They say that cause there not in it like we are.

I know how you feel. The addiction to this person. The urge to contact them and tell them how you feel. Followed bye the urge to tell them off.

 

Don't do it. Keep yourself respect. I know it feels like it's never going to end but it gets better every day.

 

You have to tell your friends not to tell you about your ex or what there doing cause even this type of contact hurts.

 

We all go through this and I hope some one reads this and makes it through tonight without contacting.

 

Be strong it pays off in the end. It's better to be alone for now than give the ppl that left us what they want.

[Baileylovesloki]

I started no contact in order to get some power back.

I stuck to no contact hoping my ex would come back.

In the end it worked because it rebuilds self esteem.

Four months ago I couldn't look up off the ground.

Today I felt like a rock star!

Our ex s are not learning and working on healing, we are. That's why we're here.

My relationship ending was really my beginning because strict n/c has helped my core and helped me learn so much about life and relationships.

 

I wish I could help someone cause I know what you are going through. It is the worst feeling. Everything hurts. It's a addiction to a person and you want your drug. You want attention from them.

 

Today I felt good and I want some one that's struggling to feel good tomorrow!

[sadsickandscared]

Happy for all the help I can get 24 hours and so unbelieveably scared and sad.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

It never was a power struggle outside of the bedroom.

 

Yeah, I took charge and take the lead when it's something I wanted to do. I know you liked it when I just grabbed your hand and told you we were going to do something fun, but you had no idea. It clashed with the "planner" side of you. Spontaneous/Impulsive IS fun, you can't deny it.

 

I don't want to feel sad about the loss of your affections. I want to be happy about the time I DID get to spend with you.

 

So, with that, I won't ever let you know how I really feel.

 

I'll just be happy with what I had. Or thought I had.

[Baileylovesloki]

Happy for all the help I can get 24 hours and so unbelieveably scared and sad.

 

Hey... Hang in there. Remember everyone goes through this at some point in there life. Occupy your mind with something else you love. Concentrate on eating healthy or exercise or your pet.

 

It gets easier and easier of course there are horrible days and nights especially if you have other stress factors. Focus your attention.

 

My ex will try anything in order to get me to reply. Always puts a dig in there to irratate me. If I reply she stops for a while because she knew she can still get me to talk ... That's what she wants Attention is power

[SixxChick]

September 18, 2015 was the last time I saw you. I'm kind of surprised that I didn't post anything here on that date to commemorate that fateful night when I left you at the club. While I paid for everything, you were busy Facebooking, tagging the band members, and bragging about what a great time you were having.

 

You kept running into the men's room with your phone. No mention of me. The girl who was standing next to you, holding your hand, dancing with you, and handing you $20 bills all night to replenish our drinks. I now know why.

 

That was the second time this had happened in two weeks when I took you out on the town. That's because you didn't want "her" to know about it. Once I pulled the plug on the money and entertainment machine, you were gone.

 

I have almost forgiven myself completely for being so stupid. I know for a fact that you are still destitute. That's because you are a lazy narcissist who blames all of your problems on everybody else. Even though I supported you when you were down, you began to start blaming me for everything going wrong in your life. That's when I knew you were a psychopathic d*ck. Don't you know that a sense of entitlement is one of the least attractive character traits?

 

Sometimes I don't even know why my mind even gives you the time of day anymore. But that's just me. When I believe in someone, I support them in their journey, dreams and aspirations. I have only one thing to thank you for. Thank you for hardening my heart. Because you not only ripped it out, you stomped on it, shredded it to pieces, lit it on fire and blew the ashes away into oblivion.

 

Good job, you complete horror of a human being. Good luck with your self-admitted "problem children." It's no wonder they are directionless. Thank GOD I am not going to be saddled with that in my life.

[Baileylovesloki]

I have the urge to contact and make small talk.

I'm trying to sell it to myself. Like how a alcoholic may say just one sip.

If I sell it to myself and send some sort of message it will feed the addiction.

We will start messaging each other and one of us will stop

And the other will chase.

If If I give in to my temptation I will hear something I don't want to hear and it will set me back.

I won't crack I'll keep moving forward and find a better partner.

Remember no one escapes karma. The person that discarded you is gonna get there's in one way or another .

[TooRational]

3 months of NC now. I don't have the urge to break NC, BUT, I have trouble letting go of hope that things might work out again in the future.

 

She didn't cheat on me or otherwise disrespect me in any way. She said she still had feelings after the break-up and she also said "I can't tell you the things you'd need to hear in order for you to move on". Basically saying that she can't close the door completely of us getting back together.

 

We also had breakup sex, which was the most intense sexual experience of my whole life.

 

She left me because I had anxious-preoccupied attachment tendencies while she was avoidant-dismissive. We were basically incompatible but that did create some very intense and enjoyable moments.

 

So yes, this is hard. She's like a drug. It's VERY hard to wean off of her.

[Blastoplast]

Ok I've been thinking a lot, and I think it's complete bull**** that you can't give me a reason for the break-up, other than you think there MIGHT be somebody better out there for you, and for me. Sounds, smells, and looks like complete bull****. I know you probably don't want to tell me the real reason out of not hurting me, but it's really getting on my nerves that you couldn't man up -- and that you threw away a perfect relationship and future together out of what I feel is some childish whim or urge. I hate this so much right now it makes me want to puke.

[Osmium13]

Maybe I'm looking too hard, but every now and then I see a faint glimmer of hope amidst your befuddling reluctance to engage. A little bit of me wants to believe it - then the reality of the situation batters me around the head... like a soggy piece of cod dipped into a deep fryer.

[Baileylovesloki]

When I get the urge to succom to my desires and contact and I resist it's like doing mental push ups because I am doing what is best for myself, because I am staying strong and walking away from the person that disrespected me.

 

I would love to giver her a piece of my mind and tell her off. But why am I really doing it? I may be doing it to get a reaction from her and hope she apologizes or shows some hint of anything for me.

 

No contact gets easier and easier and I'm becoming stronger and happier but like the other guy said in his post, Now I'm struggling with hope.

Hope is the real issue

 

The truth is that now no matter what, when my ex and her family think back about me (if they ever do). There never gonna be like that guy acted needy. That guy stalked and begged. My ex especially will think back and be like that man walked away like a man and never bothered me.

 

Now that is much better memory than that guy was a blubbering bag of weakness.

 

No contact is very hard, it's hard to walk away from a person you love and are attracted to, let's see the next sucker do that !

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Whomever's idea it was to start this thread should get a medal! So glad I found this as I'm on my way out of a toxic relationship...he's in Europe for two wks so I'm taking the opportunity to detach emotionally and heal while he is away, but have been concerned about how I can keep it up via no contact when he's back in a few days (at least until I am strong enough not to get sucked back in). I think I just found my answer with this thread...yippee!

[HadMeOverABarrel]

3 months of NC now. I don't have the urge to break NC, BUT, I have trouble letting go of hope that things might work out again in the future.

 

She didn't cheat on me or otherwise disrespect me in any way. She said she still had feelings after the break-up and she also said "I can't tell you the things you'd need to hear in order for you to move on". Basically saying that she can't close the door completely of us getting back together.

 

We also had breakup sex, which was the most intense sexual experience of my whole life.

 

She left me because I had anxious-preoccupied attachment tendencies while she was avoidant-dismissive. We were basically incompatible but that did create some very intense and enjoyable moments.

 

So yes, this is hard. She's like a drug. It's VERY hard to wean off of her.

 

She TOTALLY said and did those things on departure to keep you hooked...not because she loves you, but to keep you as back up and gratify her ego. Someone else will love you better and you deserve that! You have her on a pedestal and won't be able to move on until you put her where she belongs...on the ground with everyone else. Good luck!

[TooRational]

She TOTALLY said and did those things on departure to keep you hooked...not because she loves you, but to keep you as back up and gratify her ego. Someone else will love you better and you deserve that! You have her on a pedestal and won't be able to move on until you put her where she belongs...on the ground with everyone else. Good luck!

 

Hmmm, yes, might have been just to boost her ego. Interesting idea, thanks.

 

We didn't breakup because she had no more feelings for me though, it was because we had conflicting ideas about how "close" we should be as a couple. She valued her independence over everything else it seems, while I was more than willing to sacrifice some independence to become more attached.

 

So I don't know... I guess I like to believe that she still does have feelings for me and what she said at the end was genuine, rather than a manipulation attempt to boost her ego.

 

In any case, yes I need to take her off that pedestal. That's for sure.

[Logo]

No contact, ever?

 

What about after you heal? She cheated though. I feel like I want to walk away with dignity, but still be able to cherish those beautiful moments we shared.

[Humantk]

I love you Amanda. I miss you everyday. Too pathetic to say to your face. The face that turned away. The lips I want to kiss, I now get your cheek. Ill always love you, Ill just get better at hiding it.

[SixxChick]

Maybe I'm looking too hard, but every now and then I see a faint glimmer of hope amidst your befuddling reluctance to engage. A little bit of me wants to believe it - then the reality of the situation batters me around the head... like a soggy piece of cod dipped into a deep fryer.

 

I'm coping a little better tonight because the "soggy piece of cod" line made me laugh. Classic! Thank you.

[RyanO1991]

Sometimes I feel like I miss you, but I realise I've got my rose-tinted glasses on.

 

I needed someone to love me, but since we broke up I've learned to love myself.

 

I get angry sometimes. I think of all those times you were jealous, clingy and scared - saying that you were terrified I'd leave you for someone else (even weeks before we broke up) and I always reassured you that I would stay with you. I kept my promises and was loyal. But you're not human enough to repay that loyalty and respect to me.

 

So to walk off with someone you've known for three weeks and to blame it on me not communicating enough is cold and deceitful. I don't think you're capable of love - you might recognise it, you might be able to mimic it, but I don't think you'll ever really understand what it is.

 

No matter how angry I am, I know I'm walking away being ten times the person you'll ever be. You need someone to love you because you're too weak and neurotic to value yourself. I don't need anyone because I know and like who I am.

 

But thank you, because you've set me free. People have always said I could do better. I never believed them and I always defended you. Perhaps naively.

 

I accidentally saw a picture of you taken last weekend. I didn't see the woman I fell in love with - I just saw a sad girl with a false smile, her eyes betraying how lost she feels. I'm angry, but I also feel really sorry for you. I hate to say it, but you've become very unattractive.

 

The last time you spoke, you said you might have made a mistake and needed space to decide who you were going to go with - him or me. Even after the breakup, you quizzed me about a girl I'd met, which just goes to show how insecure you really are. I really hope you get in touch...because then I can tell you to f**k right off.

Edited October 1, 2016 by RyanO1991

[RyanO1991]

Ok I've been thinking a lot, and I think it's complete bull**** that you can't give me a reason for the break-up, other than you think there MIGHT be somebody better out there for you, and for me. Sounds, smells, and looks like complete bull****. I know you probably don't want to tell me the real reason out of not hurting me, but it's really getting on my nerves that you couldn't man up -- and that you threw away a perfect relationship and future together out of what I feel is some childish whim or urge. I hate this so much right now it makes me want to puke.

 

Hope you're doing okay. Stay strong. It's a hell of a roller coaster, but at least it has ups as well as downs.

[cucumber95]

I hope you are doing right, that your new job is great as you were saying before you got, and I hope that you started doing you driving licence, you were so happy about it, that you can start learning to drive. I'm sad that I can't experience life with you anymore, I would like to be in your life now, see how you doing, how you grow and get stronger person. I'm sorry for what I did at the start of relationship, I know I did wrong, and I will regret my choices for long time. I just want to tell you that I truly miss you, and I know that I will miss you always. You are part of me, I am who I am because of you, you gave me chance to expeirence what real love is, thanks for that. Good luck in your life, I love you.

[Logo]

I feel dejected. I feel like contacting her and just chatting. She sent me one or two texts since we broke up, but I didn't respond.

Edited October 2, 2016 by Logo

[RyanO1991]

I feel dejected. I feel like contacting her and just chatting. She sent me one or two texts since we broke up, but I didn't respond.

 

Good for you! Keep it up. You're doing great.

[Offspring]

I nearly sent the person who broke my heart a text message. Typed it all out, but couldn't put her number in to send. Please remind me why we shouldn't break no contact? I need all the advice i can get tonight.

[RyanO1991]

I nearly sent the person who broke my heart a text message. Typed it all out, but couldn't put her number in to send. Please remind me why we shouldn't break no contact? I need all the advice i can get tonight.

 

NC has different purposes - it can make the person who broke your heart realise what they're missing out on, it can increase their respect for you and - most importantly - it gives you time to value and think about yourself.

 

It's really hard, but realistically it's the only way.

 

You're doing really well. Play the long game - you'll reap the benefits, however it turns out.

[LurkerXX]

I had known you so long, and thought you could never have done this to me. I was wrong. I miss the person I thought you were. I get so angry and sad at the same time. I was really looking forward to that trip out west, and am still too edgy, reminds me too much of our plans, to plan my own trip there.