No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Kelley]

You don't have the right to ask me how I am, say you are thinking of me and that you still care. Did you care when you cheated on me, and lied? Did you care when you broke my heart again when you told me you were now in a relationship with her? No, so what has changed? Feeling guilty? Well you know what F%^k you, I'm not helping you with that, deal with it, like I have to deal with my broken heart on my own!

[gozdetak]

I want to write for people who are in the same situation like me. For people who broke-up with their ex and now have no contact with him or her in anyway. I know that it is a very difficult situation, you cannot talk with this person anymore, and you miss a lot. However, if there is no way to be with this person anymore, we should move on and find the happiness. I just want to say that we should take care ourselves, we should give value to ourselves more than anyone. I had terrible days after I broke-up with him, but now I am trying to develop myself. I am reading books more than before, I started to do sports, I go to lessons in university regularly, I am trying to be a better version of me. But, I know that there are sometimes you miss this person a lot and all you wanna do is just to to text him or want to hear his voice, however; we should know that it will stop our healing process and the time we miss this person will pass. One day I missed him a lot, all I wanted was just to text him. I tried so hard to not to text. Even I wrote a message but I couldn't touch the send button. Then I talked with one of my best friends, she said that write down the times that he broke your heart, write down everything that make you sad about him and try to feel those your unhappy times. I wrote two pages.. When it finished, I felt very sad and there left no wish to text him. It makes you feel sad but it works. Because when you miss somebody you only think those your good times, but we should see the big picture, we should have courage to remember that this person didn't make you happy, and there will be days we will be really happy with someone.. And also I want to share a video which I think is very helpful

[gozdetak]

I can't take it anymore. I feel like calling her and talking to her, maybe even meeting up one last time.

 

After we broke up, we met for the last time and it was so painful for both of us but especially for me. If I would have chance to turn back, I would not meet with him. We were both unhappy and because I wanted to break up, he blamed me by saying I don't love him enough (but the reason why we broke up is he didn't love me like me..). It is totally bull**** and all of his words just broke my heart.

[RyanO1991]

Finished work and walking through the shopping centre we used to go to. Walked past the tea stand who always ran out of your favourite syrup - I remember buying it for you and giving it to you as a surprise 2 days before we broke up.

 

Walking past the ice cream stand we used to use and the shop you used to go to to get your clothes.

 

Makes me sad and angry, but feel okay on my own. Just wish I had your hand to hold.

 

Looking at what pasta to buy and hear your voice say: "Buy the tubes. They catch more of the sauce."

Edited October 17, 2016 by RyanO1991

[Kelley]

She didn't deserve you and one day you will find the woman that will appreciate all those little things you do. Stay strong.

 

 

 

Finished work and walking through the shopping centre we used to go to. Walked past the tea stand who always ran out of your favourite syrup - I remember buying it for you and giving it to you as a surprise 2 days before we broke up.

 

Walking past the ice cream stand we used to use and the shop you used to go to to get your clothes.

 

Makes me sad and angry, but feel okay on my own. Just wish I had your hand to hold.

 

Looking at what pasta to buy and hear your voice say: "Buy the tubes. They catch more of the sauce."

[RyanO1991]

You don't have the right to ask me how I am, say you are thinking of me and that you still care. Did you care when you cheated on me, and lied? Did you care when you broke my heart again when you told me you were now in a relationship with her? No, so what has changed? Feeling guilty? Well you know what F%^k you, I'm not helping you with that, deal with it, like I have to deal with my broken heart on my own!

 

Good for you, Kelley. You have every right to feel angry. There's a new start ahead when you're ready. It's just that the light at the tunnel seems very dim at the moment.

[RyanO1991]

She didn't deserve you and one day you will find the woman that will appreciate all those little things you do. Stay strong.

 

Thanks, Kelley. I see this as more of a bereavement now - the woman I loved is gone and the ex who betrayed me isn't the same woman I met 3 and a half years ago.

 

Have to admit it was nice walking around Sainsbury's without her stressing - food shopping with my ex was like that Indiana Jones film when he has to find his way around the temple with that annoying kid always moaning in his ear.

[Kelley]

So that's your e-mail address blocked now, all the doors firmly closed and padlocked just to make sure!

 

You taught me a valuable lesson which going forward I will implement! If I'm cheated on or dumped, I will just move on right away. It doesn’t mean anything about me, my worth, my attractiveness, my value. It has nothing to do with me, I don’t need to understand, I don’t need closure. I will move on immediately, I will save myself a whole lot of time and heartache. But I'm hoping my next guy will be a keeper, but I have heard you kiss a lot of frogs before finding your Prince! Hopefully not many more to go!

[RyanO1991]

So that's your e-mail address blocked now, all the doors firmly closed and padlocked just to make sure!

 

You taught me a valuable lesson which going forward I will implement! If I'm cheated on or dumped, I will just move on right away. It doesn’t mean anything about me, my worth, my attractiveness, my value. It has nothing to do with me, I don’t need to understand, I don’t need closure. I will move on immediately, I will save myself a whole lot of time and heartache. But I'm hoping my next guy will be a keeper, but I have heard you kiss a lot of frogs before finding your Prince! Hopefully not many more to go!

 

If there was a standing ovation smilie that I could post here, I would.

 

Good for you, Kelley. You're so much stronger than your ex and the poor mare who's stuck with him now.

 

Stay strong and keep showing him who's boss

[gozdetak]

Yesterday I was feeling better, I knew that there should be no ways to text you.

 

Well...

 

I saw you in my dream last night.

 

And I can't describe how much I miss you right now. How can I stop myself? Tomorrow is your birthday..

[evanop]

I miss you so much today.

I am sitting in the library trying to focus, but my laptop battery is about to die and I did not bring my cable, so I will be forced to go home and be there without you, missing you, thinking of you all the time, and not being able to get anything done, because you are constantly on my mind.

 

I wonder what you do. It is day 3 of no contact, once again. The longest we didn't speak since January 12th, when we first met.

I love you so much, you know. I don't think I will ever get over this break up.

At this point in my life, I am not ready to start all over. I will just have to move on without you, and without anyone else in my life. It's just me now. And the memory of you.

 

I miss how you hold me the most. But more so, I miss holding you. Showing you how much you mean to me and how much happiness I have gotten from you, for me to give back to you, all of my love that I have inside of me. It belongs to you.

 

I get disgusted by you at times, thinking of how you are over there on the other side of the ocean, roaming dating websites and hooking up with other girls. Going through your promiscuous phase that you always wanted and never had. This is why you left me. It makes me sick. I just don't understand how you think this is worthwhile, and more so worthwhile than spending your time with me by your side. I gave you all I had. It wasn't enough.

Some stupid, nasty, skanky, uneducated chick on a dating website is more worth it for you. What the heck is wrong with you? Who shat in your brain, Mr?

 

Get a grip!

[Kelley]

I didn't miss you today, my mind wasn't constantly on you. There is peace in the silence, I wonder if you felt peace when I didn't reply to your e-mail. Sorry you won't be hearing from me again, you had your chance and you blew it. I hope she is worth it.

[DarrenB]

I have been trying so hard not to think about you lately, however, you always happen to seem to find a way to get into my thoughts and emotions.

 

Two months since you decided to give up on me. Two months since I've decided to give up on myself. Slowly, I have gradually moved out of the 'no hope and failure' mindset into a more motivated and better one. But still, all I think about is you.

 

I lie to myself and say that what happened and what transpired wasn't wrong, but it was. I've hated myself immensely for how the situation between us was handled, especially after. I had made alot of mistakes after we broke up, alot of which involved wanting you back. How I hate myself so much for not taking time apart from you, but it was so hard and it still is.

 

I have never wanted anyone back more than you, Skye. Even after everything, there are a few ways that I can contact you directly, however I shall not and won't. As incredibly tempting and urging as it is, I must prevent myself from doing so. So, instead, I write on a forum rather than contacting you. Sigh. It's your birthday soon, one of those birthday milestones which mean alot as a developing teenager. Oh how different things would have been compared to last year. I want to make an attempt come your birthday, but as much as I want to think that would be a great idea, I also, due to to pessimism, can only assume the worst outcome/s to happen again.

 

I love you and I miss you with all my heart. I have done nothing these past two months but grieve, dwell during the first month 1/2, I have recently motivated myself in my work occupation, physically, mentally and emotionally. I am becoming more of what I wanted to be, and I'm sure what you want me to be. I'm still broken inside, I mean, nothing will ever compare to you. You were a real diamond to me; so precious. I believe in young love, you was my love, you are still my love.

 

Sleep well tonight, like every night and be safe, pumpkin.

[TooRational]

4+ months and I still think of you every day. You rejected me, I should be able to move on but for some reason I can't. You're like a drug. You're dangerous but you gave me such highs that I can't get you out of my head. But like a drug, you're bad for me. You would probably reject me again if we got back together, like most couples who get back together.

 

My rational brain knows this but my irrational/emotional brain has taken over. I still crave the highs we had together. You know this too. You know the power that you have over me and you know that you can use your sexual energy to get most any guys you want.

 

I often wonder what has happened to you in the last four months. Did you go and bang 10+ guys like you did after your marriage separation? I'm guessing that this is likely. Do you miss me? Probably not. You never missed me when we were together so why would you now? Are you back into a stable relationship? I would bet that yes.

 

We'll probably run into each other this winter since we share some common activities. I wonder how I'll react. You'll probably be friendly and I'm afraid that I'll start seeing signs of hope and flirtation even if it's only my imagination. I hope I'll be strong. I'm not ready for the friendship that you had offered. It's all or nothing at this point.

 

Hopefully NC will eventually work its magic. I'm not ready for another relationship but I wish that I could totally turn the page on you and stop thinking about you. Or yes, I admit it, get back together.

[evanop]

I have been trying so hard not to think about you lately, however, you always happen to seem to find a way to get into my thoughts and emotions.

 

Two months since you decided to give up on me. Two months since I've decided to give up on myself. Slowly, I have gradually moved out of the 'no hope and failure' mindset into a more motivated and better one. But still, all I think about is you.

 

I lie to myself and say that what happened and what transpired wasn't wrong, but it was. I've hated myself immensely for how the situation between us was handled, especially after. I had made alot of mistakes after we broke up, alot of which involved wanting you back. How I hate myself so much for not taking time apart from you, but it was so hard and it still is.

 

I have never wanted anyone back more than you, Skye. Even after everything, there are a few ways that I can contact you directly, however I shall not and won't. As incredibly tempting and urging as it is, I must prevent myself from doing so. So, instead, I write on a forum rather than contacting you. Sigh. It's your birthday soon, one of those birthday milestones which mean alot as a developing teenager. Oh how different things would have been compared to last year. I want to make an attempt come your birthday, but as much as I want to think that would be a great idea, I also, due to to pessimism, can only assume the worst outcome/s to happen again.

 

I love you and I miss you with all my heart. I have done nothing these past two months but grieve, dwell during the first month 1/2, I have recently motivated myself in my work occupation, physically, mentally and emotionally. I am becoming more of what I wanted to be, and I'm sure what you want me to be. I'm still broken inside, I mean, nothing will ever compare to you. You were a real diamond to me; so precious. I believe in young love, you was my love, you are still my love.

 

Sleep well tonight, like every night and be safe, pumpkin.

 

This breaks my heart, Darren!! I feel similarly about my man. I miss him so much. It's been 3,5 weeks since the breakup now, and I feel so empty. Almost a month and just emptiness. I don't know how he is doing it. I can't live on like this, not knowing what he is up to, not knowing what he is doing and if he thinks of me like i think of him.

I know that nobody will ever compare to him. He was the one.

[TooRational]

I know that nobody will ever compare to him. He was the one.

 

The mere fact that he broke up with you (I'm assuming you're the dumpee) means he wasn't the one, sorry. The one WILL love you. You deserve someone who loves you, that's like the bare minimum. Of course ideally they need to check off most of your wish list items too but the love he has for you is non-negotiable.

 

I'm trying to convince myself of that fact for my ex. Doesn't matter how amazing she was. If she doesn't love me as much as I love her it's doomed to failure. And it failed. No matter how much we try, we can't compensate for the lack of love of our partner.

Edited October 19, 2016 by TooRational

[Baileylovesloki]

Well, my weak ass broke contact!

It was work related. And I see her "it" at local coffee shop at break time.

Yes I know I will change my break time.

So her company is a client. So I had to go in and deal with her.

First day I flaked out and avoided " it."

Second day I said I can't keep doing this so I made contact.

So we talked. Kept it simple. But this is what happens when you break contact.

Because I am the one that was dumped. I spent the night analyzing what was said and how "it" looked at me and so on. Remember rejection creates obsession.

So, spent the night wondering what "it" meant. Bad bad bad

This is what happens if you have not fully healed

And moved on.

So

Second day, saw it and saw it with a guy, now I remember this guy from the day before! So I asked!! Who is he? I was told " I am not involved with anyone". Than a conversation started.

The reason I'm writing this is cause when you break contact there is something that's gonna hurt you.

And if your like me ...and you probably are if your on here writing your going to beat yourself up about the mistakes you made, analyze what was said! And all this does is create hope! Hope is what we need to lose to move on!

Sure ! This is all my own doing! It's me not controlling my thoughts!

But it is much easier to move on when you avoid contact. I also gave "it" power bye making contact. This is damaging to myself! Knowing this guy that was there was a new sex partner! Demeaning to myself because she was the one who

Was demeaning to me . Sure she "it" was

Nice to me. Sure she asked questions and wanted to talk. Sure it said "she wasn't seeing anyone! But wht was she gonna

Say ?

It's a horrible situation people. I would be much better maintaining no contact .

 

 

 

 

 

.

[Baileylovesloki]

Ever notice? When some one leaves you and they do it in a way that takes

All the power what happens?

When you are rejected bye a person you are attached to do you notice how you put them on a pedastle! Do you notice how they become this perfect thing in your mind! When I got dumped. She became God like in my mind. She became the perfect drug. She is far from perfect and does not belong on a pedastle!

It's the attachment and the rejection! It creates this obsession like a drug! The perfect drug!

Does the dumper know this ? Is this the feeling there seeking?

Prob not. There probably leaving for good reasons. But when you beg. Contact. Stalk. Email or even think about them there becoming empowered !

 

Heal yourself. Learn from the mistake I made this week. Practice no contact. I broke contact and all it did was ignite the thoughts!

It's not worth it! It's better to cycle through the pain! Contacting is the worst thing u can do to yourself! It's demeaning.

Please write

On here if you feel the urge. I wish I would have.

OH I just got a new txt msg! I got to go maybe it's my ex! Lol

Rejection creates obsession

[TooRational]

And all this does is create hope! Hope is what we need to lose to move on!

Well said. Very true.

 

Rejection creates obsession

 

Yep. It's a primal instinct really. We desire more what we can't have. Just look at the interaction between two kids. When one kid starts playing with a toy that none played with for weeks, the other suddenly has the urge to play with it too and a fight ensues. While the toy was just sitting there, it was relatively unattractive (like the routine in a LTR). As soon as the toy became non-available, it became attractive again.

 

So, we have to stop these emotional reactions and start using our rational brain more. The rational thinking is that our ex's dumped us for a reason. The love wasn't there.

 

You can't "fix" love.

[evanop]

The mere fact that he broke up with you (I'm assuming you're the dumpee) means he wasn't the one, sorry. The one WILL love you. You deserve someone who loves you, that's like the bare minimum. Of course ideally they need to check off most of your wish list items too but the love he has for you is non-negotiable.

 

I'm trying to convince myself of that fact for my ex. Doesn't matter how amazing she was. If she doesn't love me as much as I love her it's doomed to failure. And it failed. No matter how much we try, we can't compensate for the lack of love of our partner.

 

He still loves me. He tells me all the time. He last told me 5 days ago. I am ignoring him now. It's killing me. During our relationship, he was in fact the one who loved me more. It often felt that way, and he thought so himself. I have never been loved this much. Only after he left (he went abroad for a few months), I realized that he was the one.

He is returning in 7 weeks. He says he wants to see me and see if we have another chance. I told him I don't want contact until then.

I brought this upon myself.

[evanop]

 

You can't "fix" love.

 

Preach!

 

 

What do i want to write to you today, J? J, you are always on my mind. Even when I am sleeping, I dream of you. It's been one nightmare after another.

 

J. Did you watch the debate?

And what was that book you were reading last weekend? I am sorry I did not ask when you told me about it. I was trying to be stronger than I am.

I am watching your facebook profile, i am looking at all the people you add, and I am wondering which of these girls you've been with. I know you told me that you are not going to be with anyone else until we see each other again. I know you just wanted some space to figure your business out. But you know, not being able to talk to you is really the worst. I wish we could share our days together. I love sharing things with you. Every day that passes, i want it more. I wonder if you feel the same, or if you don't write because you finally respect my 'wishes'. I wish my wishes were true. I want to hear from you every day. Who am I kidding?

[TooRational]

I guess your situation is different than mine. The "you can't fix love" quote is from my ex-wife when I was trying to salvage our marriage. She had fallen out of love and it was her way of basically telling me that there's nothing I could do to fix that.

 

And my recent ex who broke up with me was likely less in love than I was (or at least didn't display it enough). She didn't deny it when I brought it up.

 

Anyhow, best of luck to you.

[TooRational]

He still loves me. He tells me all the time. He last told me 5 days ago.

 

Actions speak louder than words.

[starswewillnavigate]

I understand I have no function or use in your life anymore, but why can't you just say goodbye?

[evanop]

Today is Day 6 without talking. I really hate this. I can't believe you are able to not talk to me for 6 days and just live your life. Makes me wonder if you ever truly loved me...