No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Logo]

I feel exactly the same after my ex betrayed me and cheated. It is really hard to deal with, the love and anger. But I have been better, I forgave him and my anger has subsided. The love will fade in time, I'm done feeling like the victim, moving on!

 

Have you told him that you forgive him?

[Kelley]

No I have maintained NC. I wrote a long letter to him, but I will never send it. I feel more at peace since writing the letter. It's hard to explain but I think you just have to let go of the anger and betrayal to move on.

 

Have you told him that you forgive him?

[Logo]

I wrote a long letter to him, but I will never send it.

 

Why not, if you don't mind my asking?

[Kelley]

Because he broke my heart and betrayed me, I don't want him thinking I'm OK with that.

 

 

Why not, if you don't mind my asking?

[Kelley]

I was watching Planet Earth II tonight, I bet you were too. I remember cuddling up and watching all the nature programmes with you. Remember you said that we were each others albatross. They mate for life and always come back to each other. I guess you got lost at sea and found another albatross! It made me a bit sad seeing the albatross tonight, he was sat there waiting on the rocks waiting for her to come back. She was late, but then she appeared and they were so happy to see each other.

 

I'm glad I didn't wait on that rock forever for you! The albatross mourns the loss of it's mate for 2 years before trying to find another one. How long did it take you? 1 month? Me I will be ready when I'm ready!

[DarrenB]

You, you did nothing for me. No mercy, no empathy. Only self-hate.

 

I'm just a charade, I am ridiculed.

 

Conclusion.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

Your post make me laugh Darren but not for the reason that you probably see at forefront.

 

 

I want to share with you a story. The story will be shortened for length reasons but will be about three people that don't believe in love. One is a man who believes that lovers are like drug addicts and that one person always loves more. The other is the provider and therefor an unhealthy I need you, you need the control relationship begins which believe it happens in many relationships. Then there is another non believer who actually meets someone and without any reason just loves. Surprised by his love for her and not needing anything or it being anything like he read, he loves her and so he goes and finds a fallen star and puts all his happiness into this star and into her hands. She was his perfect lover until receiving the star and dropping it and breaking it causing him to stop believing in love and the third person who did not believe in love, searched for it and never found it. Everyone on this forum has lost love but so has anyone in life.

 

 

Love is actually an emotion that we all originate from but fail to realize how to love another person. I am one of those people without a doubt. The world is distorted. Forget about the bad apples in the apple tree or the liars, cheaters, thief's, false image projecting people. The world itself is corrupted by lies that we don't know what love is. We do not know how to love or receive love and so although I can relate to what everyone is saying on this forum I can't help but shake my head. What was your expectations of your partner to begin with? Did you love or did you fall victim to love that didn't actually exist because I believe in love but I don't see it the same way you see it and that is just me.

Edited November 8, 2016 by Cheryl11111111111111

[Cheryl11111111111111]

Here is another example. I try not to judge people but I do judge weather or not I want them in my personal life and how close I chose to get to a person. I had a rough few years but I came out of it a lot different then I went into it. I went into it always in the moment and came out of it dragged by the past. It was a lot like the ghost of Christmas. What I saw through my travels to the past was that no one is right or wrong. That no one really knows though. Some people get it. Other's get their own version of it. Some try to explain while others explain far better.

 

Don't take anything anyone says or does personal because we are all human beings and that is only what we are. I learned that as a human you are only responsible to live the best life that you possibly can and to each person will be different. The heartache is not the end of the world. Learn to live and endure the pain that comes with it. Your no more entitled then your partner and you clearly weren't the right person for them. Accept it and learn to love despite loss!

[DarrenB]

Your post make me laugh Darren but not for the reason that you probably see at forefront.

 

 

Alas, the ridicule continues. (I joke, however I am curious to know the humor behind my posts)

 

That does make an awful lot of sense. I am just perpetually confused by people's actions and how they portray us and others, and how we portray them.

 

In regards to what you had said and enlightened me on, I do wonder if love is an actual existing emotion or feeling, or just a fixation.

 

I will never know. You will never know. No-one will.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

I have an answer but I don't feel like discussing. I am just seeing you "you did this, you did that, you are this and that and I am mad because you did this and that" but what she did was stop feeling love towards you and moved on and you have to accept that it happened.

 

 

I would much rather start a relationship with someone who it's just fun and I don't need anything from and they don't need anything from me. I would much rather date someone with experience and humor regarding love then all that anger! your too blame your ex but your ex was only human and stopped liking you! it sucks but it happens. Your love was obvious not real enough to stand the test of time! it ended ..

[Cheryl11111111111111]

Mind you before you take my advice I do not regret this but I have not been in a relationship with someone ever. I only felt attraction and had short lived romances. I was never really ready for a relationship and I will not be until I meet the right person! No one should take my advice on romantic relationships until I celebrate a one year anniversary with someone!

 

Conclusion ..

[DarrenB]

I have an answer but I don't feel like discussing. I am just seeing you "you did this, you did that, you are this and that and I am mad because you did this and that" but what she did was stop feeling love towards you and moved on and you have to accept that it happened.

 

 

I would much rather start a relationship with someone who it's just fun and I don't need anything from and they don't need anything from me. I would much rather date someone with experience and humor regarding love then all that anger! your too blame your ex but your ex was only human and stopped liking you! it sucks but it happens. Your love was obvious not real enough to stand the test of time! it ended ..

 

For everyone's own personal preference, they have their own confidential predicaments which went further than a 'neutral breakup'. Not everyone has the mindset to move on. Some of us develop strong emotion and emotional attachment to previous partners. Some of us still long for the first intimacy that was shared between, it's not something you can just rid of.

 

Just so you're aware, I'm only 18. I still don't have the strongest mentality or traits of genuine independence, I still cower at things, I still feel raw emotion for things that are now obsolete. I'm sure you did when you were young.

 

Yes, I am FULLY aware of all that cliche Bull****. 'She stopped loving you' 'the love was obviously not real enough' 'just move on already'. Okay, lets try not to be contradictory now. If it was all that easy to be said and done, we would not be here, documenting our situations now, would we? I rest my case.

[BevGB]

So today is your big day. You've been waiting for this election and it's finally here. I can't stop thinking about you today. I really thought we'd be together today. I looked forward to it. And even though things have been bad between us I've spent all morning in tears. I miss you and want you back so bad. The past 26 days on NC/LC has been the worst days of my life. Maybe I'll reach out to you briefly tonight. I know it's breaking the rules but I don't know if I care. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you on a day that means so much to you.

[BevGB]

I broke NC today. Found out that me and my ex are losing our jobs. This may be the last 3 months I have with him and I can't ignore him knowing this may be the last time I will see him. Maybe I made a mistake but it's just too much. I can't take it anymore

[minimariah]

Just so you're aware, I'm only 18.

 

you're VERY mature and emotionally intelligent for your age. i have absolutely no doubt you'll rise from this and move on.

 

most of us were where you're at now & came out of it alive... i know it's not much of a comfort but... it does get better... much better.

[DarrenB]

you're VERY mature and emotionally intelligent for your age. i have absolutely no doubt you'll rise from this and move on.

 

most of us were where you're at now & came out of it alive... i know it's not much of a comfort but... it does get better... much better.

 

Thank you for that comment Mariah, I really do appreciate it.

 

I think it all just correlates by the first experiences. I never once expected to love someone so deeply, nor did I expect to be so heartbroken by tragedy. My obliviousness has led me to this constant sorrow... however, I'd much prefer I feel this way than my previous partner. She was and is so incredibly naive and has a lot still to experience, no matter what she put me through she deserves no pain or suffering.

 

I hope you're doing alright yourself, and are making the most of what this world of obscurity has to offer. Godspeed

[DarrenB]

I remember the day you left me. I remember the precise messages you had sent to me because you were too cowardly and couldn't keep your promises to finish me in person. You took the easy route, you used me.

 

What type of person, stays the night with someone, makes intimate love and shares a wonderful day with each other. Then two days later, cold-heartedly disposes of me like I was nothing. You are younger, I never expected you to be so cold. Yet your proved to me that I should not trust, nor should I love.

 

I am left traumatized. Nearing 3 months onwards, mentally and internally, I feel no different. I still feel as empty, and severely destroyed as I did the same day you left. Who would have known that the last time I ever saw you was kissing you and us telling each other we loved one another.

 

That, that is my reason to cry and to hurt everyday. But hey, it's nice to know from mutual friends that you're doing alright and are happy. It's nice to know that my demise and you destroying me has given you that experience to move on and leave me ruined.

 

I despair. I now loathe, I no longer love. That is my choice. I must protect myself from further destruction.

[RyanO1991]

I remember the day you left me. I remember the precise messages you had sent to me because you were too cowardly and couldn't keep your promises to finish me in person. You took the easy route, you used me.

 

What type of person, stays the night with someone, makes intimate love and shares a wonderful day with each other. Then two days later, cold-heartedly disposes of me like I was nothing. You are younger, I never expected you to be so cold. Yet your proved to me that I should not trust, nor should I love.

 

I am left traumatized. Nearing 3 months onwards, mentally and internally, I feel no different. I still feel as empty, and severely destroyed as I did the same day you left. Who would have known that the last time I ever saw you was kissing you and us telling each other we loved one another.

 

That, that is my reason to cry and to hurt everyday. But hey, it's nice to know from mutual friends that you're doing alright and are happy. It's nice to know that my demise and you destroying me has given you that experience to move on and leave me ruined.

 

I despair. I now loathe, I no longer love. That is my choice. I must protect myself from further destruction.

 

It hurts badly. One day, you'll realise you're through the other side. Doesn't seem like it right now and it might take a long time, but only move on when you feel you're ready.

[RyanO1991]

Only remembered today that it was your birthday 5 days ago. Oops! Volunteering is the best thing I could ever have done. I feel better and more confident about myself than I have in years. I'm really enjoying the single life. So many options to consider now.

[DarrenB]

It hurts badly. One day, you'll realise you're through the other side. Doesn't seem like it right now and it might take a long time, but only move on when you feel you're ready.

 

Too right. It's only recently began to hurt me so deeply again. Atleast until now, I could sleep well and wake up remotely content with my life. Hearing how 'happy' she is and coping so well, just makes me feel nothing more than just a discarded waste of affection. But still, I'd rather I suffer than her. I guess god answered my prayers there.

 

How are you, Ryan? Heard your X's birthday was 5 days ago? Hope you didn't give her any greetings, I didn't with mine. They don't deserve that satisfaction.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

I'm glad you like to volunteer. I would rather be sitting on my couch doing nothing then out there working for free. My "ex" in quotations hated that about me, it's funny after a while you stop feeling guilty for not being what they wanted. Their opinion stops counting. I am not a volunteer!!!

[RyanO1991]

Too right. It's only recently began to hurt me so deeply again. Atleast until now, I could sleep well and wake up remotely content with my life. Hearing how 'happy' she is and coping so well, just makes me feel nothing more than just a discarded waste of affection. But still, I'd rather I suffer than her. I guess god answered my prayers there.

 

How are you, Ryan? Heard your X's birthday was 5 days ago? Hope you didn't give her any greetings, I didn't with mine. They don't deserve that satisfaction.

 

It can be a real roller coaster. Feel like you're starting to head upwards and then - out of nowhere - a sudden drop. The drops become fewer as time goes on, though. You're a very noble guy, Darren. Being as genuine as you are, you'll get what you need when you feel ready.

 

I'm fine thanks, Darren. No, there weren't any birthday greetings. I only remembered it today!

[RyanO1991]

I'm glad you like to volunteer. I would rather be sitting on my couch doing nothing then out there working for free. My "ex" in quotations hated that about me, it's funny after a while you stop feeling guilty for not being what they wanted. Their opinion stops counting. I am not a volunteer!!!

 

We all heal in different ways, Cheryl. Your ex doesn't have the right to judge you. You deserve much better.

[Deadmeat]

I am in Vegas with 3 of my closest friends and yet I have never felt so lonely. Walking around the strip with music playing, I wish more than anything that I was with her.

 

I want to knock on her door and tell her I lover her. That I don't care about the last few months. That I want to talk about how we can make this work because my love for her is still stronger than the shame I feel.

 

Or maybe it's because I just don't respect myself enought to move on. Maybe I don't love myself enough to move on from people who don't want to be with me and just move on.

 

Either way, this has been the most difficult time of my life. I do believe that it will get better. I hope that it comes sooner rather than later.

 

For now, I will cry and work througg this emptiness.

[Kelley]

Do what is right for you and I hope it didn't hurt too much and it made you feel a bit better.

 

I broke NC today. Found out that me and my ex are losing our jobs. This may be the last 3 months I have with him and I can't ignore him knowing this may be the last time I will see him. Maybe I made a mistake but it's just too much. I can't take it anymore