No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[JFReyes]

So, again, thank you for the memories and for all your words back then when we were together and my life was in shambles. I am doing 100% better now. Maybe all it took for me to start loving myself was to be with someone like you and then lose you. Maybe that's what you were supposed to do in my life, to teach me a different outlook, made me see myself for what I really am. Thinking that made losing you a lot easier, cause I didn't really lose you, you just fulfilled your role in my life and now it's up to me to carry on. And I'm happy about it. Thank you.

 

Well said! I can identify with these feelings...

[jorgeg3d]

Just found out my ex took all of our pictures off of FB. Its crushing. Why did I look? Why can't I get this Fing woman out of my head? She was no good to me, she treated me like a roomate for almost a year. Little to no sex, love and affection. She doesn't deserve me. She doesn't deserve what I did for her and how well I treated her.

 

I feel like half of our 2 year relationship was built on lies and deception. Me giving my all, and you just taking it all in. Giving me excuses after excuses and never really telling me what was going on. You wasted a year of my life by giving me empty promises of making things better, all the while I did so much for you. I allowed you to live in my place rent free, without any real house bills. I feel unjustifiably used and betrayed.

 

You took me for granted, you treated my family like strangers half the time. My love was blind, but I will not be blinded anymore.

 

I have so many options, I'm talking to several women who are so much better than you. My heart needs to get rid of that horrible person that was in my life already. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Learn who you are and stop judging everyone around you. For you are the one that needs the most judging of all.

Edited December 14, 2016 by jorgeg3d

[idlesadness]

I miss you so much. We were supposed to spend Christmas and New Year's together... but now we can't. You're going back to Canada. And I am an ocean away from you. Why don't you love me any more... was I really such a terrible girlfriend?

[jakt]

It's been all about your work for months. So excuse me for keeping my responses to be strictly business. I just know how you are. I know how I am. And I know that if I turn that tap and allow these emotions to flow then I'm bound to spill over.

 

And don't you just hate getting your feet wet. Because you've always been so dry. Dry tone. Dry eyes. Dry suit. Sipping dry wine. Where I was always puddles. Pools of admiration. Drops of hope. Oceans of tears.

 

It's been six days since our last word and I've been wringing my hands. I consider reaching for the phone..

Though I know it's an emotional apocalypse on the other side. That all you will breath is dull heat. And dust of things we've been over before.

 

So the words I'd say evaporate before I even touch the keys..

[StrangerThanFiction]

You know what's sad? Out of all the exes that you've had I'm the only one that you'll get over without a blink or a thought. It's sad because I actually loved you. Out of all your exes I was the one that loved you even with all your flaws and issues. Out of all your exes I didn't want anything from you except for you, your love, and a future with you. I didn't try to change you to fit my vision of what I wanted. I didn't want your money (even though you never had any, and apparently even more so when you were dating me because you didn't do a fraction of the things for me that you told me you did for your other exes). I didn't want to own you. I just wanted you. And you knew it. Maybe if I would've cheated on you or messed with your head you would've wanted me too, just like you want them. But I just loved you.

 

I felt sorry for you and what you went through with them, but now I see that you deserved every single thing they did to you.

 

You know what your problem is? You have a perpetual case of GIGS. You're never happy with what you have. You always want what you don't. I think that's why you're still so obsessed with your exes. When you had them you made no effort, but when they finally left you in one way or another they were the shining pinacle of womanhood that you needed to have. You're a fool and you will never be happy. You will just go from one messed up relationship to another, bouncing back and forth between obsessions for one ex or another. Except for me, of course.

 

I hope this ex that you left me for messes you around for years until you're too old, worn down, and bitter that no one will have you. And then I hope that maybe then you'll remember me. You'll remember me and the fact that I loved you and would have sacrificed so much to be with you and make a life with you while you spent your time chasing women with massive mental issues(your words), no goals or any sort of desire to make a decent future for themselves besides popping out kids and living off of gov't and your money(the little of it you'll ever have), drug problems, will cheat on you, and the fact that they never did actually want you. But hey, if that's what you want then rock on and beat those dead horses. You deserve all the unhappiness that your choices will bring.

 

I hate you so much right now for leaving that opening that makes me doubt my self worth. What does it say about me that I loved such a terrible person?

[idlesadness]

I miss you my baby pig... but I miss the you in the past. I don't like the you now.

[picnicinthepark]

I miss you.

[hermitcrab]

I want you to be yourself. Live true to who you are. Be with as many women that satisfy you, don't fake a "faithful" relationship again please. Maybe one day you will realize that just having sex with a bunch of people is not 100% fulfilling and you will want to settle down with someone, and if that time ever comes I hope to god you treat them better than you treated me.

Edited December 18, 2016 by hermitcrab

[healthyhopes]

If there was one thing that I could say to you, and it was the last and only thing I could say to you, it would be this:

 

Dear x,

you know I care(d) about you very much and want(ed) the best for you. I'm happy that you're happy and hope you will become happier each day with who you are and what your life is, because despite everything, we both knew you weren't before. I'm sorry that I left you in such a way, I just desperately needed to start caring about myself too. Once again, I hope you're happy, I hope you know I hope you're happy, I hope you hope that I am happy.

I'm happy.

 

Healthy Hopes.

Edited December 19, 2016 by healthyhopes

[Lauracake]

I heard your messages, I didn't reply. Blocking you doesn't work, you can still leave answerphone messages....I felt strong yesterday I knew I couldn't reply I couldn't be dragged into it again. Today I feel guilt, you have an amazing ability to make me feel guilty of just trying to protect myself. I hope one day you will understand why I can't be in contact with you, you are poisonous to my heart and I'll never stop loving you but I don't want to play anymore. I got into uni, just so you know.... yay me ? I couldn't tell you, you may never know. If one thing this lesson has taught me, it's that I can only rely on myself to keep me secure and I'll do that, believe me I will. Please don't contact me again, there are other people you can talk to maybe the samaritons? I don't know but not me I'm not ever going to be your friend, you took everything I had to give and threw it like it was nothing, it wasn't by the way it was my everything and one day I'll find someone that matches that and more. Go now we can never be friends x

[VeveCakes]

Why are you on POF when you said you just wanted to be alone. Why do you use a picture I took of you for your profile? Why does it say you want a relationship. We were perfect together. Why did you throw it all away without so much as an explanation.

[breakupthrowaway663]

I find myself being more angry and less sad. I suppose that's a good sign.

 

You admit to being terrible but I feel like you almost takes pride in it. As if you destroying our relationship is something worthy and like you're some sort of badass girl.

 

No, you're unstable in every aspect of your life, and have never done anything defining for yourself. You whip around relationships trying to give your horrible life decisions some meaning. Because dragging someone into your life is a much easier way to sooth your unhappiness than actually doing something for yourself. It's like the only skill you've developed in life is seducing dirtbag men and then discarding them. But here I come along, giving you a thrill for awhile, and you sincerely thought we were going to be partners in crime for a long long time. I don't know what set in, but your mind did a 180.

 

Good riddance, you were never who I thought you were, and I am ashamed for letting myself think you were something special. I saw the good in you. Good luck getting someone else to do that after all you've done. What comes around goes around. Your DUI after our break-up was only the beginning. You better learn to handle your adversity in life, because getting rid of me wasn't the solution.

 

I hope I never see you again. And I hope you wonder what you truly lost. Because you never truly gave us a chance. You faltered at the first sign of adversity. Your path of destruction will catch up to you one day.

[JFReyes]

If there was one thing that I could say to you, and it was the last and only thing I could say to you, it would be this:

 

Dear x,

you know I care(d) about you very much and want(ed) the best for you. I'm happy that you're happy and hope you will become happier each day with who you are and what your life is, because despite everything, we both knew you weren't before. I'm sorry that I left you in such a way, I just desperately needed to start caring about myself too. Once again, I hope you're happy, I hope you know I hope you're happy, I hope you hope that I am happy.

I'm happy.

 

This sounds like something that my ex-gf (10 years together, 3 post b/u) would say but then again, maybe not, as she won't talk to me. If it were the case and speaking for myself only, it would bring me closure. I wish you the best.

[Kayley]

I wish we could talk again...

 

I wish you hadn't just walked away without even trying.

 

I wish I understood why

[breakupthrowaway663]

Why are you on POF when you said you just wanted to be alone. Why do you use a picture I took of you for your profile? Why does it say you want a relationship. We were perfect together. Why did you throw it all away without so much as an explanation.

 

Ick, POF? I've never met a quality woman on there. I dated probably a dozen all with huge red flags.

 

I got the same thing. "I want to be alone for awhile". "I want to regain my independence". These same people become desperate for validation and reassurance because of their internal instability and unhappiness.

 

You're better off Veve

[CommittedToThis]

Ugh.

 

I recently allowed my ex undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disordered girlfriend to contact me again. I dumped her 17 months ago after a 10-year messed up "relationship" and was in NC for about 6 months. Ex recently contacted a relative about some items of mine and I wrote her about it. This was maybe a month ago.

 

Man, I thought I could handle it. I thought I knew the techniques to deal with her. We "hooked up" the other weekend (great sex) but later she went ballistic as usual. I mean, absolutely nothing has changed with her.

 

The bummer is, it's not really about her, it's about her triggering me. I'm finding myself being drawn back into the world of questioning things and wanting answers from her.

 

I know she will never, ever tell me the truth. I know this.

 

Anyway, I told her I was slipping into depression by continuing contact with her and that I was re-initiating no contact for the foreseeable future.

 

A cautionary tale: just don't do it. Nothing bad happened to me because of it, but it's tried to drag a part of me kicking and screaming into wanting answers I will never get.

 

I'd a helluva mind-set to have, I hate it. Thank goodness I've got family to see for the holidays.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[lizardking82]

Ick, POF? I've never met a quality woman on there. I dated probably a dozen all with huge red flags.

 

I got the same thing. "I want to be alone for awhile". "I want to regain my independence". These same people become desperate for validation and reassurance because of their internal instability and unhappiness.

 

You're better off Veve

 

My girlfriend told me the same thing. "I don't want a boyfriend right now, wanna be alone". Never understood why when 2 days ago she was totally OK with having a boyfriend.

[DarrenB]

Even in my loneliness thoughts, you are there. I'm comforted but ever so pained by our memories in the dead of night, I miss you.

 

I miss you so much S... but we are no longer compatible, we no longer suited each other like we did at the start. Last year was beautiful with you, I do not intend to make this year any better than the last. I will cherish you, though you may despise me or just feel neutral.

 

Always remember, I will carry you in my heart. Take care.

[Baileylovesloki]

It's been six or 7 months, I see it (my ex) often due to work.

Even though it's brief and we dont speak it still kills me.

All this time all this trying to heal and some days it feels like the first day.

When does it end? When I love some one else? I just want it to be over,

But I guess we can expect some bad days as well as some good days.

Every day without giving into my desire to talk to it is a day forward.

 

It is my own mind torturing me. It's my own mind wondering how "it" is, it's my own brain still addicted to " it"

 

I see "it"laughing and flirting with other men well it smokes and drinks coffee, the men hover around and feed "it" not just with bagels and coffee but they feed it's ego with attention!

It knows when I'm around and it struts in it's extra small jeans towards the hipster men who feed it.

It was a bad day for me, cause for some bizarre reason I miss it, but I won't feed it's ego bye messaging it and letting it reject me.

It is Christmas maybe one of the hipsters hovering will bye it some new jeans that fit.

Stay strong people, if you were dumped for no good reason it is there loss.

It's our minds messing with us and one day all this chaos in our brains will Be behind us.

[Baileylovesloki]

Take some power back.

Never give the people that reject us the satisfaction of seeing us suffer.

Never feed there ego.

Take your power back,

Move on, find happiness, this is the best thing you can do.

My ex was on its phone smiling and grinning well I begged and cried, it's not its fault, it does not know what it's doing it just feels empowered bye rejecting me.

I took my power back and went nc, I took my power back and had great days where I was happy.

The thing that demeaned me and rejected me and giggled on its phone does not deserve me! Or you if your reading this! It deserves to not know me any longer and never know you!

Take some power back don't feed narcissistic egos !

Do it for yourself! Love yourself it's the best revenge!

[StrangerThanFiction]

I still love you. There, I said it. There's no point in lying to myself about it like I do to everyone else. During my loneliest moments I sometimes think that I would do anything to be with you again, but then I remember the bad parts. Your lies and cheating. Your mind games and little "tests". Your inability to get over your toxic exes. Your temper. The disgusting and disrespectful things you would say to me, sometimes in front of other people. Your withholding of affection. Your inability to make something of your life because you don't know how to make good decisions.

 

When we were together, I saw that you had so much potential, but I see now that it will be wasted because of all the bad decisions you continually make. I guess it's because it's all you know. You had a really rough childhood and were in and out of jail and then you had that mental break after you did too many drugs that one time but after that you somewhat turned your life around. You've come a long way since back then, but I still think you're incapable of completely changing. I suppose I thought that I would be the woman to reach that potential I saw. How deluded I was. You told me once that I was the first woman you'd been with where you could really see making the future you envisioned with. That was probably just another lie because look where we are. You're again chasing that psycho ex of yours from back in highschool. Good luck with that. Are you going to support all her kids from other guys, too? Maybe you should focus on spending time with your son instead.

 

The whole reason you came out here was to work and make good money so that when you went home you could give your boy all the things that you never had growing up and you wanted to make a down payment on a house. What did you go back with after 3 years out here? A truck you can barely afford to make payments on, 4 old broken down crappy atv's, some guns you are not legally allowed to own, a warrant for your arrest, and $1500 in your pocket. A month after you got home your bank account was running on empty. Yeah, you really stuck to your priorities didn't you? You lost all that time with your son while you were out here and you went back with nothing to show for it. That nasty drinking habit you have probably didn't help matters either.

 

Frankly, you're a loser with wasted potential. You're 35 and I think it's past the point where you are capable of changing in any significant way for the better. This is reinforced by the continuation of your terrible decision making process. Instead of trying to do things the right way, you would rather break the law or take the easy way. Something I always noticed about you was your blindness to the bigger picture and the foresight to see the consequences of your actions and what effect they'll have on your future and the future of those around you. That was always a worry and a sticking point for me, but I guess I thought that I could guide you in the right direction. Foolish of me, really.

 

Anyway, I felt a very strong urge to contact you today but I'm sure that you wouldn't care and don't even think about me at all and have already forgotten my name. I would've gained nothing but rejection and pain if I had and it just isn't worth it. That's why I'm writing here instead.

[Kelley]

I can say I have moved on now. All the pain you put me through, gone. The nights I cried myself to sleep knowing you were holding her. The times I wondered why you chose her and I was never good enough! I get it now, you are always enough for the right person!

 

You did me a huge favour or fate did. Leaving me you opened my eyes to a better life that I built up for myself It was one of the hardest things I have done, but I love my life. I gained back my confidence that you chipped away everyday, I'm me again before I met you.

 

I have met a lovely and genuine guy, it's early days but it's promising, we just clicked and have so much in common. He already makes me feel special, not just by words but his actions. I'm taking it slow and enjoying everything in my life. I'm happy alone and if he is the one to add to that happiness and share my life great, but I will never make a man my whole world like I did you! No man is worth losing yourself for.

 

I still wish you all the best, I hope you find what you were looking for. Clean slates for us both in 2017.

[Bromeo]

I get it, I messed up. I struggle with it every day. You left me twice, and I chased you back. You were both amazing and a pain in my ass. We had an amazing connection, but it wasn't enough. You left me again. I called and begged you not to go when I felt it coming on.

 

Then I got replaced. After a year and a half. I was scared to be left again, and that is exactly what I attracted. You played games with me for months. I made mistake after mistake and chased until you were done. This became the most painful breakup of my life. How I let this happen I'll never know. This isn't me.

 

I requested a transfer to move away from you, this town, this state, this time zone. The thought of you and some other mope makes my stomach retch. He isn't me and you know it (and said it) but your desire to marry and have kids is stronger than your love for me at 36. What a mess.

 

I'll get stronger daily. Online dating, and most of all Plenty of fish sucks. I both miss you and am very hurt.

 

I'll be ok.

[Minneloa]

Dear (ex) (non) (boy) (friend),

 

Look, I miss you, too. But I must say that I feel ambivalent about the long letter that I received from you today. I know you probably meant well & did not intend to hurt me further, but it doesn't help me to hear that you think I am beautiful, amazing, wonderful, whom any reasonable man would want, when you end up basically saying, again, that you don't.

 

Hey, news flash: I know! That's why I broke up with you, five weeks ago. Because you were so deeply ambivalent about me that you couldn't even commit to being exclusive, let alone official.

 

And the three references to breaking my heart? Excessive. You're the one who cried. I broke up with you with no tears & you haven't heard a word from me since. Please don't condescend to me. If I am hurt, I am handling it myself. I certainly don't need to be patronized by you.

 

Tomorrow morning I am flying far away to spend the holidays with my inner circle, my family & friends. They "adore" me, too. But their love, unlike yours, doesn't sting and double back on itself.

 

Please just leave me alone. I enjoyed our time together & acknowledge that you were always honest with me, but at this point I just want to move on in peace.

 

M.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I've been thinking a lot lately about contacting you and how that would go. For one, I know that you probably wouldn't even answer because you don't care and I know you're seeing someone else. And two, I can't even imagine what it would be like talking to you again. We've only been broken up for a few weeks now but it feels much, much longer and I have no idea what we would even talk about. Catch up on what's been going on in our lives, maybe? I think having a casual conversation about nothing would hurt me, knowing that you don't have any feelings for me. I've almost come to accept that I was nothing more than a rebound to you, but not quite because it really hurts knowing that I felt so much for you and you felt so little for me. Why did you pursue me like you did? Why did you make all these plans for our future together? What changed and why? All these thoughts keep going round and round in my head and it's the mental and emotional equivalent of chewing on broken glass.

 

So no, I won't be contacting you. I deleted your number from my phone weeks ago and I don't have it memorized so that way is out. I could get it from our mutual friends if I really wanted to, but I don't. I could message you on Facebook, but I won't. See the above reasons.

 

I thought about sending you a New Year's message, but the only thing that would accomplish is giving you an ego boost knowing that I still think about you. You would probably ignore it anyway and I would be crushed. Just in case I have a weak moment because I'll most likely be drinking that night, I think I'll leave my cell phone at home or give it to a friend to hold onto to avoid temptation.

 

I just miss you and wish you missed me too...