DarrenB Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 You are just not worth it anymore. You will become a distant memory and that completely suffices with me Link to post Share on other sites
picnicinthepark Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Merry Christmas. I was never a fan of the holidays but last Christmas with you was perfect. This Christmas is going to be hard but I'm trying to be grateful for all the good things in my life. I still haven't heard from you nor will I be reaching out. I don't want to remember anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Dear (ex) (non) (boy) (friend), Merry Christmas to you, too. Except last night I cried over the letter you wrote me, that one that ripped all my stitches out, the one that killed my hope, which I know is a good thing, but really? What do you want from me? I feel like the bad person now, and I was VERY tempted to respond to your texts, but I have to protect myself and right now I need some time & space to reflect on these latest salvos you have thrown my way. Plus, I am almost sure that you feel lonely & guilty & simply want me to absolve you. Well, that's not my job. And I'm still in this vulnerable place of missing you & wishing we were still dating, so if you took my forgiveness and disappeared yet again, it would only increase my hurt feelings. Which I have quite enough of already, thanks to your aforementioned letter. As for your suggestion that we should hang out together, really? As for your suggestion that I should tell you just to eff off? Tempting. I am not ignoring you to be mean. I am shutting you out because you hurt me & I need time to myself. But I must say that I am surprised at how this No Contact period is affecting you. It's almost like you can't stand the silence, can't stand the withdrawal of my attention & affection, can't handle the fact that I am, possibly in control of myself and my own narrative. Well, that last one might be going a bit far, but I am. I am writing my own story now, and your asides and editorial suggestions aren't welcome. Do you really expect me to comfort you about a breakup that you caused? Incredulously, M. Link to post Share on other sites
kel224 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I'm sure I'm not the only one mending a broken heart that has found this time of year particularly difficult. Two-months out of having my s**t rattled by a breakup, and the latent hopes of a simple "happy holiday" or "sorry I acted like a horrible human being" from my ex-gf have been making things difficult. Equally, the holiday season presents a tempting excuse for us to reach out to them under the guise of the "holiday spirit". Just wanted to say STAY STRONG and focused with no contact! It'd be a shame to slip up after you've put in days/weeks/months of hard work. Hope you're all looking forward to starting a new chapter in 2017! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 The holidays can be a difficult time for a lot of people. If you are alone, it heightens that loneliness. If you are going through a breakup, it heightens that the person is no longer there anymore. The holidays can heighten the good feelings and make the bad ones even worse. It seems to bring out emotional extremes. This year in particular, I've noticed more friends than normal saying they are having a rough holiday this year. I've never been the biggest fan of Christmas myself, so I kind of just go with the flow. Good for you for not breaking NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Frozensushi Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I had a vivid dream about my Ex last night, of all nights. We got back together in the dream and I was feeling so much love for her. The emotions carried over into the waking world. As I awoke I was missing her and had strong feelings to see her again. After 5 minutes reality kicked in and I came to my senses. I thought to myself, "WTF is wrong with me?". The dream made me think of her today, but not in a positive light. I was reminded of Xmas day 2015 and how insensitive she was. I also wondered if she still blames me for all the problems in her life. I don't really care, but the thought did cross my mind. This can be a hard time of year to maintain NC, but it's imperative that we remain firm in our resolve. Hang in there, you can do it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 In a word, weather the storm (of the holiday season and the temptation to get in touch) and stay strong until it's over. But, try to make the best of it. Have as much fun as you can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bumble82 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 It's comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling desperately sad at this time of year. It's the worst when you're missing the one you love and still dealing with their rejection - it makes this day and time of year so difficult. Much love to all of you nursing broken hearts with me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usaf1997 Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 I was talking with a woman off and on for about 6 months! We met through a dating website when I was deployed and decided to meet up when I got back home! From all her texts and all the things she told me I thought we would be together! When she came to see me we kissed held hands and acted like a couple. When she left to go go back home I get a text message from her saying that she has no feelings for me and wants to remain friends! Even though it hurt to read that text I understood and said ok! Then not even two weeks later she changes her Facebook status from single to in a relationship and unfriends me. What upsets me is she said lets just stay friends, then why feel the need to delete me out her life? I got really upset and deactivated my FB account just so I would not have the urge to contact or Facebook stalk her. But a couple of days ago I one of my friends accidentally went on her page and showed me and i saw her with her new guy and i was really hurt I have not been in contact with her but I do miss her alot! Today being christmas i wanted to send her a email but didn't. Next week is her Birthday and i want to send her a birthday wish but i think i won't I have been dating other woman but I always find myself comparing the woman to her and that is not right! Has anyone been thru this and how did you cope and move on any advice would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
jerrycn Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Are you guys using the no contact to try to get your ex back and start all over or are you guys trying to heal? I read that people are using the no contact to get their ex to miss them. Does that really work? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Are you guys using the no contact to try to get your ex back and start all over or are you guys trying to heal? I read that people are using the no contact to get their ex to miss them. Does that really work? Not really. It's just a method highly pushed by people who are preying on the vulnerability of the brokenhearted by trying to sell them some sort of coaching, book, or program centered on the idea of getting your ex back. Link to post Share on other sites
picnicinthepark Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. I'm beginning to forget your face and this breaks my heart. I miss your touch. I miss your scent. I miss your eyes. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss your warmth. Until we meet again... Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 I miss you. I wish you would call and tell me you love me and that you miss me. You won't, but I wish you would. I feel like I have a gaping wound in my chest and it just feels so huge that it'll never heal. I'm having a really hard time right now. I made a mistake and drank more than I should have last night. I ended up crying my eyes out on my friend's shoulder for hours and I feel ashamed of it. I've never cried like that in my life and today I feel terrible and all I want is to hear your voice. But I'm not going to contact you. That would be an even bigger mistake and I know it. All it would do is put a tiny bandaid on that gaping wound for a short time and I'd end up feeling worse in the end knowing that you would know how hard this is for me. I just feel like this pain will never end and I don't know if I can go on like this. I can't get in to see a therapist till after the New Year and I feel that I really need to see one. I'm not coping very well right now. Why wasn't I good enough for you? Why did you send me that picture of you? I deleted it and our conversation so I don't have to see how good you're looking. Did you do all those changes to yourself for this new woman? I know I shouldn't care but I do and it's killing me. I wish I could forget you and move on. I wish you would come back to me. There's just so many warring emotions going on in me right now and I wish they would stop. I beg whatever higher power is out there every day to take away all this pain but it doesn't stop. Sometimes I feel like I'll get over this but today it feels like it's so far away as to be impossible and I don't know what to do. I haven't seen you in 2 months and I don't know why I'm still hurting so bad. Why was it so easy for you to get over me and let me go when it's so hard for me to get over you? I loved you and still do and I don't want to. Will this ever end? A part of me hopes that if you come back and you see me and all the changes I've made to myself that you'll fall back in love with me. I need to let that go because I'm pretty sure that won't happen. I just don't want to care anymore. I want to be able to look at you and not feel anything. God, please make this stop. Link to post Share on other sites
lizardking82 Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 I am gonna be leaving for Greece at my aunt's. Remember, for two years in a row, I had you waiting for me to come back, missing me like hell and telling me how passionately we'd make love when I came back cause 1 week away from each other was too much. I remember that. This year I will be back and you won't be waiting for me. And thinking of that give me literally chest pain. I hope you have a good time for New Year's Eve Link to post Share on other sites
Hitman Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Sighhhhh never before have I felt so abandoned. For weeks maybe months, it was you who had liked me and I was disinterested. But over time that changed, you reached my heart in a way nobody could and while neither of us would admit it, we were both falling in love with the other. You started it and got what you ultimately wanted when I become yours and you became mine. And for over six months we were happy, or at least I thought we both were. Because towards the end, it was you who had become distant. Despite all that we had faced and been through together, you fell out of love as quickly as you fell in it. Why had I not seen the signs as they began to show? Why did i not realize that you were moving on and the guy you told me not to worry about was likely to soon become my replacement. Why had I been naive enough to think you loved me as much as I loved you and that nothing would ever change. But then things did. Suddenly and swiftly you ended things and once again blinded by my naive nature, I believed we could stay close friends. But we were never close friends were we? We were two people falling in love and a return to that would only prolong the pain. But, you didn't see that did you? You didn't know that my pain was prolonged by our renewed “friendship” and within a mere three weeks, you increased that pain exponentially. For even though we were no longer together, you committed the ultimate act of betrayal by starting yet another relationship with the guy I was told not to sorry about. With the guy I was told was just a friend. Forever etched in my mind will be the thoughts of him kissing the lips i once treasured, thoughts of him cuddling the body i once looked to for warmth, and him making plans for the future that i once held with you. I thought we could be friends but we can't. You didn't betrayal me for you had the mercy to break up with me instead of cheat. But that doesn't make the pain any less real and I cannot look at you again without remembering the pain. Even if this relationship is a rebound, I cannot erase thoughts permanently burned into my mind. As much as I know you too wanted to be friends, this no contact may just have to last forever. Because I need to move on with my life and you have done well to start moving on with yours. Do well for yourself and as your friend I would've wished you happiness but, as strangers I will only offer you luck, in dealing with the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Osmium13 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I like to think I'm sorta over this, but occasionally I have moments of weakness. That being the case (and being enveloped by one of such moments).... Moo, I hope 2017 is everything you could hope for and more. I think it will be xxx Link to post Share on other sites
hermitcrab Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 this is the first time I've actually been seriously tempted to e-mail you but I won't. I know I am just stressed lately and I want something that was "familiar" and old to fall back on. and I miss the highs we had while we were together. I miss those a lot. But I know we can never go back to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 (edited) I loved you then. Sometimes I miss us. I miss what we had. Those days are gone forever. And I can't bring them back. I must move on. It's a new year, a new start. Edited January 2, 2017 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I miss you, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Baileylovesloki Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 When you practice no contact, you are practicing empowering yourself. When you contact your ex, it empowers them and demeans you. No contact is the tool to self improvement and self empowerment. Every day I went n/c I made myself powerful. Detaching from the drama and the pain is the cure to your suffering. When you get dumped, cheated on or lied to or played, that is there drug, that is there power, Be strong don't empower the dumper . Empower yourself, move on. It is magnificent, detaching from the past, is all empowering. Every day you practice no contact your healing your brain. It's been 8 months for me and I feel amazing. There was a time I couldn't look people in the eye, my ex took everything from me. I took it all back. Everything stems from your mind. Everyone goes through this at some point. No contact works. Link to post Share on other sites
picnicinthepark Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I went on a date three nights in a row with a woman visiting my city -- we even spent NYE together. This was my first date since my breakup which was over 3 months ago. I'm trying my best to move forward so I agreed to go on the dates. We really hit it off and had great chemistry. She even got along with my friends and they really liked her too. Unfortunately she lives in a different city in the US and I'm not willing to do a long distance relationship again. It was hard for me to see her go but I'm glad we met. It really reminded me of the strong feelings I had for my ex when we first met. When I think about how my ex and I got together, it was very reckless and we really didn't know each other at the time -- I suppose you need to take some risks in life. This time around, I felt like I was taking my time getting to know someone, but at the end of the day, we live in different cities. I haven't been thinking about my ex much lately. I've been NC for over 2 months although I tried to google her but found nothing. Everyone has weak moments but I was lucky I didn't find anything. I'm going to continue to live my life to the fullest and everything else will follow. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) We laughed, we cried, we hugged and kissed. We looked into each other’s eyes and our hearts told us it was right. You were my bliss and peace, my emotional anchor. Goodbye... ~ Logo ~ Edited January 3, 2017 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) changed to another thread Edited January 3, 2017 by MeadowFlower Link to post Share on other sites
jennifernyc84 Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 I miss you already. I miss us. It's not fair. You get to go back to life as usual. What do I have? Just a lot of bittersweet memories. I am still not quite sure how you could treat someone you said you loved the way you treated me. I'm also not quite sure why I stayed for it. Not only that, I was desperate for it. Anything for you I guess. I'm trying to be strong but I'm not. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed. But this bed isn't even all that comfortable without you in it. There's no relief. I keep thinking of what I could've or should've done differently. The thoughts keep me up all night. What I could have said or done. But it doesn't matter. You're gone. You told me that I meant more to you than her. So why are you with her and I'm here alone? Goodbye Josh. I will always love you no matter how angry and hurt I am. I still love you and I don't regret 1 minute of the time I borrowed with you. I seriously thought we'd make it. Maybe in another lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelley Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I never thought I would get past us, when you broke my heart and cheated and then left me for her. It took a lot to build up my life again and I have found someone new. It's a good different, I didn't think I would meet someone that I have so much in common with and feel like I have known my whole life. Maybe you were taken from my life so I could meet him. I'm happy and looking forward to my new year without you and starting it with someone new. I have so much to look forward to, not just relationship wise but my life in general. I still keep my life happy, and do what I enjoy. I hope that you found some peace after your relationship broke down. Sorry I'm never a fallback girl, I have moved on and you should too. Link to post Share on other sites
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