No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Madd_hatter]

It’s almost midnight and I’m all alone. This is when it hits me the hardest. I don’t have much to occupy my mind anymore. Thoughts of you are running wild. The whole world could tell me it’s wrong but in my heart, it still feels right. I don’t know who I am without loving you. I have nothing else in me but my love for you.

 

I’m so fed up. I don’t like my life without you. I have no one on my side. Not a single person. I wish you were here to hold me and tell me it will be ok but you’re not, and it won’t. I need you. I said I wouldn’t cry anymore but it’s all I can do.

 

I’m not angry at you anymore. I just want you. I’d do anything to have you here tonight. Why can’t it just be? Im so broken. Im not myself anymore. Im empty without you. I want to tell you all these things but it won’t change anything.

 

I miss you. I love you so much still. Please come take away this pain. You’re the only one who can.

[Cupid's Puppet]

I begged you to be honest and tell me if you wanted to break up or if you needed space and that you didn't have to spare my feelings. Sure I would have been sad, but I would have grieved properly. I can't explain how much pain I'm in to have you get me excited about our future only for you to vanish on me days later. I could never trust the same way because of you. What an awful thing to do knowing I allowed you so close to me and how much I was in love with you. I try my best to humanize you, because I do know that breaking up with someone is really for the brave at heart. But it hurts knowing I never got a proper farewell. Oh man it hurts. And silly me watched a youtube video of you yesterday. It was like I was watching a deceased loved one. You were singing, smiling, being your goofy self. And I knew I would never get to see your smile again. With better self-control, I hope I never make the mistake of watching that video again. It almost traumatized me.

[riverdeep33]

Dear x

I know I have lost you. I live with the regret every single day. You left me 4 months ago; because I kept pushing you away. I wasn't ready; I see that now. I take responsibility and I am sorry! So very very very sorry. I love you so much and I wish you could find it in your heart to forgive me.

 

I've spent these last 4 months in a state of repair with you; showing you how I feel, getting the help I need and making you see that I am now working towards the person you want me to be.

 

I know you said you weren't ready, but you loved me and just needed time. I believed you! You said you weren't dating; and just needed space; I believed you. To see your online dating profile looking for a relationship filled me with dread! You lied to me!

 

Was it all lies x? Why did you put me through these months of making me feel like I had a chance, telling me you loved me? Holding me? Spending the night? Taking me out? Making love to me? At the same time you were out looking for your perfect partner? Was I your backup?

 

I know I shouldn't have sent you the message telling you my friend had seen your profile; I should have been the better person, but you needed to know you can't treat people like that. However well intended to protect me, you have messed with my head. That is not fair! I feel like such a fool. How could I be so stupid to think I am worthy of your love again; to be good enough for you. Did you ever really love me? Was I ever good enough? What is wrong with me?

 

The sad thing is, if you turned up at my door tonight, I'd take you back. You are my world and I just don't know how I am going to make it in this life without you. You are my perfect partner, despite the above. Please come back to me! Please?

 

As I sit here crying, I wonder what you're doing, who you are with; who is making you smile, who is making you happy. I wonder if you are feeling the pain, sorrow and absolute heartache. I wonder if you're praying not to wake up tomorrow, like I am. Given you aren't here, given you aren't fighting for me; I suspect you're having a better time than I am right now.

 

I will love you forever and I deeply regret pushing you away.

 

A lot of me hopes you will in fact come back to me and we can work through this; but I suspect you are more relieved by your new life without me. I yearn for you to realise what you've lost, but I fear you celebrate what freedom you've found.

 

I am glad to have met you! I am sorry to have hurt you! and i pray with all my heart and soul that you will come back to me.

 

Please come back to me...

Edited August 21, 2018 by riverdeep33

[Tiga]

He broke off our engagement 3 months before the wedding because of his parents. We were together for 6 years. He blind sided me and treated me like trash after we broke up. He acted like someone I didint know.

 

He sent a few texts after I left but I never responded. Now almost a year and a half later he sends me this...

 

Hi … how are you? I received a statement of yours from …. I guess it’s for your retirement benefits. Let me know if you want me to send it to you. Hope your well !!! His name

[Cupid's Puppet]

Hey Loser. Go die in a fire. Yeah I'm a little tipsy but sober enough to know you're still a POS for what you pulled. It's men like you turn women into Lorena Bobbitt. She's my hero right now. I totally lowered my standards for an uneducated, low-waged, poorly shaped guttersnipe such as yourself. You deserve everything bad coming to you right now. I'm tired and I want to be over you quick! This month was supposed to be my promotion and thoughts of you are throwing me off my game. I'll be damned! Die ma***a, just die (I'm drunk)

 

 

He broke off our engagement 3 months before the wedding because of his parents. We were together for 6 years. He blind sided me and treated me like trash after we broke up. He acted like someone I didint know.

 

He sent a few texts after I left but I never responded. Now almost a year and a half later he sends me this...

 

Hi … how are you? I received a statement of yours from …. I guess it’s for your retirement benefits. Let me know if you want me to send it to you. Hope your well !!! His name

 

Kill that noise. Don't respond. And what is a breadcrumb? If you really want the mail tell him to Return to Sender. If he doesn't and throws it away, report him since I think that's a federal offense. Tired of these POS men.

[Fguiopm]

I never once in my life expected to be here. I love you so much and can only understand your decision on not wanting to get back together. We hurt each other so much all from nothing but immaturity. Immaturity. I’ve learned so much from this breakup. I’ve learned that I could only give love the way that love was given to me when I was young. Very emotionally abusive and passive aggressive and my communication skills sucked for a woman. **** I love you and this feels like a love I’ll never forget. I wanna prove to you why I’ve changed but I understand. I want you to be happy so happy and it’s gonna break my heart to watch another woman do what I wish I could’ve and know I can now. Each day I know the decision I made was right for us but it’s still always that voice in the back of my head that’s like “a little too late” you know. I just wish I could tell you all of this.

[riverdeep33]

My darling, my beautiful X. Where are you? Why aren't you here? Please come back to me. We were utterly perfect together, I know a lot of you thinks that too.

 

I am sorry I pushed you away and I wish you could see how sincere I am being. I know it's easy for me to say this time it will be different, this chance will be our forever; but you won't let me show you that.

 

You're my best friend, my soul mate, my true love. They aren't cliches to me. I have never loved someone as much as I love you and I would do absolutely EVERYTHING for you to please give me a chance to show you my love.

 

I know you aren't thinking of me, I know you aren't missing me, I know you don't want me and that I am not enough. You've moved on and I will never understand why.

 

I am really not coping without you X. I just want you here. I want to put my arms around you, hold you, and never let you go. I don't think I will ever get over you. Right now, the pain is unbearable. A minute doesn't go by that I am not thinking of you. I can't focus, I can't sleep, I can't eat. I really don't know how long I will be able to sustain this for. I simply do not want to live in a world without you. I have no purpose without you. I don't want to exist without you!

 

I know I am powerless and you don't want me, but please realise; I regret every bad decision and this situation has woken me up to make me understand that I am ready for commitment. It seems you will never give me a chance.

 

I miss you X. I miss you so very much. My heart is destroyed. Please find me! I can't face many more nights crying myself to sleep.

 

I need this pain to stop.

[indifferenceiskey]

It's been over 7 months since our relationship ended, 3 months of no contact except for that condescending tone you called me with to wish me a happy birthday 2 weeks early at 2 AM while tipsy.

I have no qualms in admitting that we shared a good time together, which I'll always hold dear to my heart, and that I've learned a lot about myself and what I want through our relationship. It's a shame that things turned out the way they did between us. There's too much water under the bridge now, and I believe it's best if we keep moving forward and getting on with our respective lives. I'm sorry I didn't wish you a happy birthday, it's not that I've forgotten (08/28), I just accepted that we will no longer be a part of one another's life and I hope you did too, so that I may continue to think of you in whatever positive light there's is left. Forgive me for my indiscretions and moments of weakness...I was just lost in my emotions, and forgive me for not being there for you like I promised I would after you ended it. I know you'll look back at me fondly and probably do already. There's so many words left unspoken, yet sometimes it's better to let the silence do the talking.

 

Love always,

Mons

[Madd_hatter]

11 days.

 

11 days until I’ve lost you for good. I know I never really had you but I could never give up hope. Something would always say “hold on, don’t let go. He’s almost there”. Never quite got there, did we?

 

I was thinking last night to myself “ok just 11 more days and this whole nightmare will be over”. But then it dawned on me. It won’t be the end at all. It’s the beginning. It’s not your wedding I’m dreading. It’s you being married.

 

It’s not like after the wedding I’ll just be ok. It will be so much worse.

 

11 days. I feel like it’s a death sentence. Oh how I wish things were different. I wanted to be the one you married.

[TurntSloth1]

It's been basically two months since we last spoke and I still think about you every. single. day. I miss you so damn much. I'd give anything to go back to the way we were, but you've moved on (or back depending how you look at it) and so must I. I'm honestly trying but it's so hard. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel the happiness I felt with you again - I definitely hadn't before we met and I sure as hell haven't since.

 

It kills me knowing you're back with him, not giving a damn about me, after every moment we shared, every good thing you said about me and every bad thing you said about him. Empty words. Meaningless lies that have me questioning our whole time together. But it's not worth thinking about, it only hurts me to do so.

 

I need to move on. I wish you'd just get out of my head and out of my heart. I don't condone the way that you acted, but I understand and would even say I forgive you. The fact that you've simply cut me out of your life since he came back makes it so hard not to resent you though. Was I always this meaningless? ****. I shouldn't even want you anymore but I still do. I don't know what to do with myself.

 

I'll keep moving forward and one day I will get better, but I honestly don't see a day in my future where your name doesn't cause my heart to ache. It feels so unfair...

[Hurtingmuch]

It’s done my love. I have to give-up because I am tired. Whatever I feel right now, will not matter in the future. Thank you for the love, excitement and time that you showed me. I wish you the best in life. And maybe someday when everything is good and I don’t have feelings for you anymore, we can be friends. But for now, I need my time to heal. Be it known that I have loved you, even if you didn’t.

[Sarah_Smiles]

I was watching that Shane Dawson documentary on Jake Paul( don't follow, watch or like that tool( why do people find morons like that remotely amusing, Idk, but like Shane Dawson, so..)but while watching him chat to the therapist on what a sociopath is I was struck at how many attributes my ex-had.. and bothered me I never connected it before, I just thought him to be a narcissist only.

[riverdeep33]

So here we are.

You've told me you don't want me back, that you're happy, that you're in a great place and are enjoying life.

 

I wanted to scream! My heart was ripped apart when I read that. Instead, I wished you well and that I was happy for you. Then spent the week crying!

 

If you were here now, I'd tell you once again, I am sorry for pushing you away; I am sorry for not being what you wanted me to be; I am sorry for not showing you how much I love you! The truth is I have changed; I genuinely have; but you don't believe that. I want to tell you next time will be better and please for the love of god give me a chance! We have 5 years together! Where was your fight.

 

But alas, you're in a better place and I suspect with someone who is making you MUCH happier than me. I accept you aren't coming back but I am not sure how my future will be without you. It certainly won't be as happy as yours is without me.

 

I miss you SO much. You are my soul mate, my perfect man, my best friend and my heart is aching without you. It saddens me more that you are not in the pain I am in. It is the worst pain I have felt in my entire life.

 

I am ashamed at my actions and I will be filled with a life long regret that I have hurt you.

 

You woke me up, you made me a better person. Some lucky sod is going to have an amazing life with you. I am sorry it isn't me

 

Whilst I'd give the world to have you back, it will never be. If I can get past New Year without you, it will be a miracle.

[Borntoelevate]

I am just about 6 months into the break up with my ex (initiated by her). She moved on within 1.5 months and I saw the photos (a friend sent them to me). I am still very tempted to break NC. I have to admit, I had been doing NC about 1 month ago but recently broke it by looking at her social media (she only has two photos of herself and these have been the same since we broke up). I want to ‘poke’ her on facebook, but she has not made any efforts to contact me at all (and has continued to keep me blocked on almost all social media platforms, except facebook, where she unblocked me). I am really struggling to fight this urge. Going to the gym now, see if that helps.

[babysacay]

I wish you had just been honest with me and told me you did not see a future with me. That you just didn't want me. That's the truth. Because if you did want me and see a future with me, you would not have ended our relationship over your depression and PTSD symptoms. I could have helped you through it. I said we could face it as a team. You knew you were the best boyfriend I've had. I thought you were different. But you weren't. You were just like every other man who did not value what I have to offer in a relationship. I know in my heart I have so much to offer and I cannot wait to find a man who appreciates it. I thought you did but you showed me otherwise.

 

And what was up with that crap about you having a midlife crisis at 25??? Saying you don't know where you want to live or might end up when you had been telling me you wanted to buy a house in the area of the city you currently live in???? Where the heck did that come from??

 

You hurt me so deeply. Now I have learned from you that no matter how good a man treats me, no matter how good a boyfriend he is, he is no different from any other man in my past unless he gets down on bended knee and asks me to spend the rest of his life with him.

[HiCrunchy]

Hey! I just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. I hope you spend it with people who love and care about you. You have lived 1/4 of your life! How crazy is that? We haven't talked in more than a year. Time just seems to be moving so fast but here I am thinking of you on your special day.

 

I wish I could tell you this in person, but this will have to do. I'll be there for you in spirit. I miss you but hope you are happy. With lots of love.

 

oxoxox

[loststarsx]

I really want to call you, but I know I'm still blocked. I've gone no contact since Tuesday and in your last email you told me you would call when things calmed down. I've cried for a week straight. I know I have to accept reality, but I am delirious and overcome with grief. I miss you so much. Please.

[JFReyes]

Dear J,

 

I hope you have a great day. Cheers!

[dyna85]

So you lied about your height before we'd met and here I come to find you lied about your age too. I feel so annoyed. Even though I'm four years removed from when we last spoke, I wish I could just ask you why you feel the need to lie so much? Why can't you just accept yourself and embrace who you are rather than running from it so much?

 

It frustrates me that I cannot face you and ask you why you lied about your age and tell you how wrong it is that you lied.

 

There are so many things I didn't get to say, or rather wouldn't dare say as you completely ignored me in the end and wouldn't even acknowledge me at all.

 

While I feel very much removed from the situation and recovered, or numb, or healed, there is still a part of me that seeks further closure.

 

I know they say you don't get closure as it's not a real thing. I say f that to anyone who says closure is not real. I've had closure before and I know it's real. I've felt it, the finality, and knowing that the other person is done and it's completely finished.

 

With you though, you just left me hanging. And I'm sure you have left many hanging in your wake. So many women.

 

Sometimes I've thought if you were to somehow resurface, or if we were to somehow cross paths, how I'd react. And I waver between feeling like I'd just ignore you and snub you the same way you did me, to putting on a brave/fake face, just to speed it up and get it over with, or if I would speak up and say those things I've wanted to say, even if the questions I would ask would not be answered truthfully, if at all. Just so I could confront you.

 

Because like in this situation, just finding out that you lied about your age. It bothers me. Like, who are you?

 

I have to remind myself that it isn't me who is being untrue to myself and it's not me who I cannot trust. It's just other people I have to be extremely careful of as so many people tell these lies, and think it's no big deal, when it is.

 

It is a big deal to lie about anything, especially your age.

I feel like a fool for believing you, but it's really you who are being a fool when lying.

I wish you would straighten up and get off the drugs.

It would do your mind and world a hell of good. And the world would be a better place because you wouldn't leave people wondering, with questions unanswered, and having no place to vent their frustration when all they want to do is ask WHY?

[loststarsx]

He blocked me on the last possible channel I had. I activated my FB for a few hours and he blocked me in that span. I'm blocked in other areas too. This really hit me because I had given him a break since NC on Tuesday. He said he'd call after things calmed down, so I left him alone. The life is sucked out of me as I write this. I now know that I need to accept this. If someone completely blocks you and does not even say goodbye, it obviously meant nothing. I am in true grief. I cannot stand this agony so I am truly going to learn how to cope. I have cried for a week straight. Before discovering I was blocked on FB, the only open place of communication was email. I'm fighting myself to not send a goodbye email because deep down, I know I am blocked there too. Wow. The memories kill me.

[Chassit]

N, I am so torn right now. I am going between fits of wishing ( as well as C and K) all die in a fire to wishing you were here with me again and we just put all of this behind us.

 

I am so angry, and so hurt and so betrayed. Yet, I miss you so much. What I would give just to hear your voice again. To caress your face. I would have done anything to save us. I know you know it because you watched me. Then, after I did what you told me was needed to do to save us, you left me for that wife stealing POS you are with now. Yes, he is a POS anybody that is not man enough to find his own woman but instead has to steal another man's is a worthless POS.

 

I miss you so much. Even still.

[Chassit]

Why is today so hard. I have not had a really hard time in NC in a few weeks now. Today though, all I want to do is reach out and tell her. ARRGGG!

[Chassit]

I hide my tears when I say your name,

but the pain in my heart is still the same.

Although I smile and seem care free,

there is no one who misses you more than me!

[Chassit]

The truth is I miss you,

All of the time, every second, every minute, every hour and every day

[Borntoelevate]

To my ex,

 

It has now been over 6 months without you and I still miss you. I am trying so hard to forget you. I have been stalking you, Jennifer’s and Rin’s Facebook. I know you have found a new guy and I suspect you were talking to him whilst still seeing me because you became a couple 1.5 months after we ended. Either way, stalking you on Facebook is literally killing me. I do it and think I won’t be harmed but I inevitably I still get hurt.

 

Like today, for example, I saw Jennifer’s new profile picture in your room. On top of your bed, I saw new photos in the frames that used to have my photo, our photos. I couldn’t make out exactly who was in those photos, I just know there were two people in the two new photos I saw in the background (which I assume is you and your new boyfriend). One looked like you both were riding an elephant or something and the other one looked like you both were wearing snow jackets. Because of this, I couldn’t sleep last night (I got a max of 2 hours sleep). Thankfully I still made it to work today and still managed to send my car in for a service. I was going to skip gym today on account of being so tired, but I am still going to go because I just remembered I can’t do my Friday work out (since I am flying to Adelaide for a stock take that day).

 

I think my mind literally just wants to self-sabotage. Why would I even care at this point? You have moved on, there is no chance of us reconciling but I still crave seeing you and getting an update on your life. My parents are sick and tired of all of this. But each time I see these things, I just get my heart crunched. I have blocked you, Jennifer and Rin’s Facebook again but I know I will have the temptation to unblock you guys and stalk again. I am hoping that this time I can last longer than 4 weeks and can go 5 weeks?

 

I don’t think you’d want an update on my life since you have moved on, but here goes: I have been dating and I have slept with other girls. But none have been as good as being with you. I am hoping to find someone soon to hopefully finally get over you, find new love and reach some emotional stability. My emotions go up and down with us.

 

And if, by some chance, in the future you do end up reading this, I just want to say this:

 

“I am sorry. I am sorry that I entered our relationship when I knew I wasn’t ready for it. I am sorry I wasn’t mature enough. All the self-fish things I did to you were not the true me, they were the version of me that was not ready for the relationship. I still was not done being single, that is why I told you several times “I wish I met you 1 – 2 years later than I did”, because I KNOW I would have been ready then. I also know I would have been more mature then to get serious with you. By serious, I mean moving in together and marriage. To be honest, I am grateful I made this mistake now at the age of 32, rather than after 35, because it would be harder to find another girl then.

 

I know you won’t take me back, but at least please forgive me, because only then can I truly forgive myself. I always had the best intentions for you and for us. I always wanted to be the best person I could be, for us. I know your family hates me but that’s is because they’ve only seen the self-fish side of me that resented you for being in a relationship with me. The true me would have done things to actually support our relationship as opposed to sabotaging it. Now I am stuck in this emotional rut that I am struggling to get out of every day. My parents say I am getting better but internally it doesn’t feel like it.

 

Oh and that $1,000 I gave you, it disappoints me that you didn’t give it back, along with my debit card. You knew I was hurting when I gave them to you. I was vulnerable. But you didn’t give them back. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s because you were hurting and didn’t want to see my place again (which you would have needed to do if you wanted to deliver it to my place), but in all honesty, I think it’s more because you just didn’t care. You were over it all and wanted to move on as quickly as possible, which includes ridding your life of everything and anything related to me.

 

I am going to work as hard as a I can, not to stalk you, because doing so only leads to pain. If you want to contact me, you know where to find me.”

 

I have more to say, but I am going to save it all for next time when I relapse. For now, I am feeling better.