TheBetterPerson Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Even though I know it's for the best that you don't contact me for Christmas, there was a part of me that wanted you to. I guess to prove that I still matter to you? Even though my logical brain knows that a Christmas message doesn't mean much. I feel so discarded by you. It feels like you never cared. You said you still care, how could you treat me like this? If you care about someone, you don't want to hurt them. I hope someday I won't think about you anymore. I still want to see you, which is crazy because you don't deserve my love, my thoughts, or my respect. It's very hard to stop myself from looking at things online, to see what you are doing or what you might be doing with her. Somedays it's all I can do to stop myself. But I'm at 8 weeks almost now and I can't see myself going back unless I know I wouldn't care about what I saw. And I can't imagine that day. I keep thinking about whether we will ever see each other again. And I hate wasting my time wondering about what if. It's so useless, but still I do it. I literally feel exactly the same, every single word i feel that. Just keep going, one day we wont care what they are doing or who they are with! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Madd_hatter Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 I really want to talk to you. I wish I could look into your eyes. I wish I could sit near you, touch you, lean against you, smell you, kiss you. I literally feel like I’m crazy. I don’t know why I can’t shake this. I don’t know why I can’t shake you. No man will ever come close to you. I don’t think I could ever love another man the way I love you. I know you have flaws but I can’t see anything but perfection when I see you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Please, please, please, I’m begging you from the bottom of my broken heart, help me somehow. It’s so bad. I can’t bear it. I feel so sick sometimes. It’s been 7 months and I don’t feel one ounce better. I feel worse, if anything. I need you. Please, Jason, I need you so badly. My heart hurts. I will love you until I take my last breath. -Madd Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 I have grace. You will not bait me into a response. I maintain my grace. Peace Link to post Share on other sites
Iamyoungjuan Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 She texted me happy New Years but haven’t heard anything since I wanna text her so bad and ask about us meeting up this weekend but I know she’s gonna turn me down plus she has a male friend she’s talking to I don’t know what to do right now I hope I don’t text her Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_Smiles Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 I wonder if she is pregnant???? I'm okay if so but bothers me that I cannot wipe out you as quickly and MIB you too. Why you both in my dreams like wtf, really, tag teaming B's. Get out of my dreams it is my only safe place for now and you both are ruining it. SHOO!..I said Shoooooooooooooooooooooo.... Link to post Share on other sites
Tigglesworth Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 She texted me happy New Years but haven’t heard anything since I wanna text her so bad and ask about us meeting up this weekend but I know she’s gonna turn me down plus she has a male friend she’s talking to I don’t know what to do right now I hope I don’t text her hey dude, I've gotta say, if I knew my ex had a new boyfriend or whatever you may want to call it, I would not contact her back, even if she reached out to me the way your ex did. If she really cared or wanted something, I would wait for a more definitive text rather than what could have been a drunk text on New Years...I know I got emotional during NYE and I ruined a chance of seeing my ex in person. Maybe it was for the better, but I cannot dwell on the what ifs anymore, we can only focus on what to do now. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) I feel a lot better today but I am missing you... I am going to always miss you. I am so sorry for getting so jealous. I wish I could just text you that but I don't want to break NC so I will just let it be. I hope one day you can forgive me for showing my insecurities to you in such an ugly way. Please know that I wish you well and happiness. I know you want me to be happy too. Take care. Peace Edited January 11, 2019 by Rayce 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tigglesworth Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I miss everything we would do together. We had so much fun. I know I messed up, and didn't take those leaps of faith with you. I would take every single one with you now, just like when I shoved that sushi in my mouth for you despite me not liking it. I just needed time to expand my comfort zone. I hope you saw that. I hope you do think of me. I still pray for another chance, but its so hard to accept this silence. I still love you. Link to post Share on other sites
paisleypanther Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I remember when we were sitting on the couch together and you tried to guess my favorite movie. You said Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I had never seen it before, but I watched it the day you told me you wanted to go no-contact. During the whole movie, I wondered if you were already forgetting me. I wondered if you were forgetting to check your phone for my texts. Forgetting my home address. Forgetting my voice. I knew I wouldn’t forget you. I’d never forget that night on the pier when we held hands in front of our friends for the first time. Proud, excited, maybe a little scared. All over each other. Do you remember that? Or are you forgetting? I miss you like crazy. I think about you until I can’t, then I somehow think of you some more. I think of all your strong opinions about random things that really don’t matter. I think of when we argued about whether or not yams and sweet potatoes were the same thing. After that, I started calling you yam, and you called me sweet potato. I think about your love for noir films. I think about your face when you see a great hockey play. I think of how you always start projects you never intend to finish. I remember our last car ride together. We were fighting and Joy Division came on. You turned it off. We both knew why. The love we felt, once so strong and tender, really had torn us apart. I still love you. Through all our shortcomings. Through all the fighting. Through all the pain. I love you, I love you, I love you. Link to post Share on other sites
xweeverx Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Chiqui, I miss you so much. I feel like such a fool for letting you and our relationship slip though my fingers. We had such great potential, and you tried so hard to bring us close, but I failed to reciprocate. I am so sorry you went so long not receiving the affection you deserved. My focus was not where it should have been. I guess by the time I started to realize my mistakes, it was too late. I am crushed. Every day I beg the universe for a second chance. I am begging now. Don’t leave me like this. Let’s try again. We could spending these snowy days wrapped-up in the sheets together….. I am terrible at NC!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 They always say when it rains it pours and these days, it's pouring. Maybe with 6 months, I can change my perception. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Missedmistress Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 It’s been 8 months since you last wrote to me. I sent you an upset email after that you read once and you never opened my apology I sent right after that. It does hurt. My last words you heard from me came from anger. I don’t want that but it’s been too long and it doesn’t matter or change anything any more. You didn’t want me. It hurts knowing how much I apparently meant to you to then ghost me and not even get in touch to ask me how I have been. I don’t want to be with you I don’t want to mess with your life. I just want to know if this was all in my head or real. I hope you’re well and that you will give me that closure one day. I know by that time I will be over you for good. I’m tired of missing you. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 I am coming up on 6 weeks of NC and feeling really sad tonight. I'm listening to some classic rock... missing you part of me wants to reach out to you but I know I shouldn't. I want to say I am sorry but I don't know how at this point. I've come this far and you aren't available so... I must continue with NC. I am sorry for completely shutting down like I am. Sometimes things just get so complicated for me and I get so confused the only thing I can do just be alone. It takes me forever to process. Our mutual friend is trying to find out details... she called my daughter asking questions but my daughter knows that my life is private and shared nothing. I am sorry that I let my friend get involved. I hope you can forgive me for that. Well it's almost bedtime. Tomorrow another week starts. Good night. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Good morning. I woke up feeling really hurt this morning. The deception is the hardest to get over. It has me wondering... How many fake accounts do you have? Have you catfished me before? Are you doing it again? So there you have it... my mind is still a complete mess. Even if I reached out to you there is no way I could explain what is going on with me and how this whole ordeal has shook me too my core. I would only end up rambling on and on about stuff and it would do no good anyway so I guess it's still NC. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
xweeverx Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 If you ever again search for a meaningful, connected relationship with someone who will support, love, and care for you through anything....I am right here. Again, things would be much different. Link to post Share on other sites
gcp Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 I want so bad to write her, to clear the air. I feel that our lack of intimacy after the miscarriage lead her back to her ex. I want so bad to tell her that honestly I was grieving and sex was literally the last thing on my mind. I was heart broken for her, for myself, for the baby... everything. And that I tried to talk to her about it but the communication on her end just wasn't there. She chose to grieve alone, I on the other hand needed her to be there for me too. I want to let her know that we all have insecurities, I saw hers and accepted them. They are part of her and I loved her, all of her. I feel as though she saw mine and they were a deal breaker. I also want to tell her while I am not happy how she ended things, I accept it. I deserved more than a text message break up, but whats done is done and I do not hate her, just wish she had handled it different. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBetterPerson Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Why on earth did you message me all those intense things on Saturday and Sunday after not talking to me for 10 days!! Then to only respond to me with emojis and then silence again on Monday, I AM SUCH AN IDIOT for breaking NC. Literally believing all your bread crumb BS! How can you be so cruel after 8 years together! You know i loved you and you already have someone else... that's what i was, i was only there to fill the time you were on your own! I am not breaking NC again! I dont ever want to feel like this again, i feel so angry Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 I wish you would show up at my house and we could talk about this face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Seeing you today was difficult. I just wanted to sit next to you and make stupid jokes. I guess that probably won't happen again. Perhaps you're with someone else, I have no idea. I miss you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) … I am sorry but I know I am unable to accurately articulate via email or text... that is reason enough for NC. I still wish you would show up at my house and we could talk face to face. I wish we could leave things on a better note. Edited January 16, 2019 by Rayce Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I can't bear this. I don't want to be around all those other people, it's just you. How am I supposed to keep looking at you, knowing we don't talk, for another two years? I miss you. Maybe you miss me, maybe seeing ME again made things real for you, I don't know. Maybe that's just me hoping for something that won't come/doesn't exist. I hated having to pretend you didn't exist. You do. You're the only thing I see. Link to post Share on other sites
paisleypanther Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I saw a friend of ours and she said you look miserable. I don’t wanna know what you’re doing to yourself. You haven’t hit rock bottom yet, and I’m scared to think about what that would be. I can’t listen to our songs anymore. I feel sick when I drive by where we had our first kiss. I cry about you before I fall asleep. You’re destroying yourself but I still love whatever’s left. Because when I saw you with vomit on your face and alcohol on your breath, you were still the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. You always wanted to take care of me. You always asked if I was warm, if I was happy, if I had eaten enough. You always tried to protect me. Maybe you ended things to protect me from yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I am thinking about you again, today. I hope you're alright, and I miss you, I suppose. I wanted to head out earlier, to get a new stud for my piercing - you'd always want to come along with me. I just didn't go, because I couldn't be bothered to go alone. I'm having to try and engage with new people at university, and, while that's the advice I've been given - to try and meet new people - I just still only want to talk to you. You admitted too, that we connect. You said that only two days ago, and so I believe you must still feel something for me. I am trying not to hope, or to wait for you, but it's so hard when you are there in front of me, all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 It has been more than a year and I'm with someone else, but I still think of you every day. Maybe you're with someone new, too, but I don't know. When I see you by accident, you don't even look at me. I guess you're pretending I don't exist. I wish I could pretend that you don't exist, because every time I'm reminded that you do, my mind goes right back to where it was and I miss you again. Why should I miss someone who so often acted like she didn't give a s**t about me? Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I wish I could have a hug. I just found out that another friend of my mine passed away this week. I miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
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