No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[MeadowFlower]

@Greatlove, It's hard and it sucks. There are people on here who have been through what you are experiencing now.

Things will get better in time. Don't contact him after you've had that final "closure" talk. Oh, and don't have part in that "we can be friends" thing.

Look after yourself and share with close friends you trust, if you feel you need to.

:-)

[GeorgiaPeach1]

Well I'm at 8 weeks NC. It seems like for every relatively good day (one step forward), I take two steps back emotionally. I've been reading a lot about breakups and I can't believe I didn't see the signs. I thought if I accepted your flaws and worked through issues with you, that you'd do the same for me. I think that's what bugs me so much--i had ample reason to drop you but I didn't and then you reward my loyalty by dropping me over something fixable. You wouldn't even give me a chance to make corrections. Where do you get off being so strict and harsh? You claimed there was no one else, but I don't believe that. I believe you went back to an ex or had your eye on someone new. No one cuts off intimacy, acceptance, fun times, etc unless there's a backup waiting in the wings.

[MeadowFlower]

I give you zero credit.

[Reels]

I talked her online, last time on November 2018 and she was admittedly combative towards me. It really seemed like she hates that I talk to her and even hates simple questions even those like "how are you". I never cheated or said anything wrong to her. She just felt I am depending on her for my happiness.

 

I was just thinking of messaging her today but I won't because my presence surely offends her.

[paisleypanther]

I blocked you after I found out you had cheated on me. I blocked your number and all your social media profiles. I unfollowed you on everything I couldn't block you on. My sister ran into you the day after and you asked how I was doing. Can you believe it? You asked how I'm doing! You didn't even care when we were together. That question felt like a slap in the face. I wonder if you tried to text me after only to realize you were blocked. That would bring a smile to my face. Enjoy cheating on the next person who is unlucky enough to think you're worth their time. Now that you're gone, I have a ton of new friends, awesome grades, and a plan for the future. I saw you at the mall the other day. I could have approached you. I could have tried to make amends. I didn't want to. Why would I apologize to someone who cheated and emotionally manipulated me? Why would I want that in my life again?

 

The other night I had a dream that you were at my house and I was begging you to spend the night. You said no because you had to go see your other girlfriend. I have never felt more physical aversion towards a dream. But now that you're blocked, you'll never get to reconcile. You'll never get to win back the smart, funny and cute person you went after. You don't deserve it.

 

So long, Nicolas. I hope I never see your pathetic ass again!

[NomiMalone]

Why haven’t you called me? I miss you so bad.

[NomiMalone]

Do you remember... how once upon a time we knew so many details about each other’s lives? Now I have no idea what your days are like. I haven’t for weeks. Today I looked you up online and realised what a stranger you’ve quickly become to me. And how it hurt me so much. Although my days are full, my life without you in it, feels completely empty. The only thing that keeps me going, is the hope that one day you’ll come back for me. Please come back for me.

[GeorgiaPeach1]

I woke up in the wee hours last night and cried. Not the first time, might not be the last. I'm at the Disappointed stage. I'm disappointed you're not who I thought you were and who you portrayed yourself to be. I'm disappointed you're a gossip, which is a trait that's even uglier in a man. I'm disappointed that you didn't tell your people the whole truth and you threw me under the bus. I'm disappointed you showed me your true colors fairly early on, but that I gave you a second chance--only for you to do me even worse. I'm disappointed that I have emotional and sexual needs I can't get fulfilled because you burned the bridge and I'm not emotionally ready for a new partner. I'm disappointed that we live in a throwaway culture now where there's always a new babe with open legs right around the corner, so there's little need to try to fix problems. I'm disappointed that I trusted you. I should have used you like you told me other women have. At least then I would have something to show for my trouble. I'm disappointed I'm stuck with emotional trauma, while you get to start your whole routine over with yet another unsuspecting person. I'm disappointed I put up with crap I shouldn't have. Most of all, I'm disappointed that I didn't protect my own self interest. Lesson learned!

[GeorgiaPeach1]

Missing you a lot and deeply hurting. I know I'm not going to find another relationship.

[MeadowFlower]

Just go away

[NomiMalone]

10 characters

Edited April 9, 2019 by NomiMalone

[smellysocksuni]

As much as I try to hate you and to constantly remind myself of all the bad things, and the negative ways you made me feel, I still miss you. It hurts that you're with someone else. It hurts that you stopped talking to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to uni in October and see you almost daily for six months, but not speak to you. Feels like form of torture. And then after uni's finished I'll never see you again.

 

Even if you do talk to me, I can't be involved with you again because you've been with someone else now, and there's something about that that just puts me off a person. Like, you didn't want me enough to want to hang around and went with someone else. It hurt the first time when you kissed that guy, but I for some reason just ignored it. I'm sure you must have done more than kiss, too. I try not to think about it though.

 

I wish you had just spoken to me if you felt overwhelmed instead of breaking up with me and pushing me away. I feel totally abandoned and lost, and I keep telling myself I'm OK and feeling better, but I'm not. I can't even sleep, all I want to do is talk to you, or see you. You don't care about me. You are there living your life and seeing someone else just a month after you broke it off with me. It hurts. I don't expect you to stay single forever but there wasn't even a problem. You just sabotaged things, like you say you always do. I wish you weren't like this. I really thought that you had genuine feelings for me.

 

I don't know what the hell to do anymore. I can only hope that when I see you again I won't care about you but I probably will. And it'll be so hard seeing you so often. But you just shut off, don't you. you don't care.

[smellysocksuni]

Hey,

 

I have often thought about contacting you. But you have never been a particularly compassionate or empathetic person, so I don't. I think that probably saves me, a lot of the time. Saves me from embarrassing myself more than I have.

 

I am heartbroken over not only the way you ended things, but just the loss of you in general, I guess. I still don't quite understand how you could go from spending all of your time with me to cutting me out of your life. I know that's how your disorder works, though. I could spend hours and days trying to understand it, but it's your disorder.

 

I know that people are married for years and just get broken up with or left, and even WITH a reason, they're still heartbroken. You not giving me any closure or a reason is painful, but I wonder if it would still be this painful had I been given a reason? Maybe. Maybe not.

 

I think you're with someone else now. This is hard to know. I have to remind myself that your life carries on and it isn't something you're doing to get back at me, it's just how things are. I think your actions have been quite hurtful, but you don't seem to operate in ways that are considerate of others, anyway.

 

I know deep down that you are not the right person for me. You really aren't, and you could never be. I don't like the way you treat people, and I don't like your anger issues or the way you always criticise me, or just how abusive you are in general. I know that this is all for the best. I don't like you, really.

 

I am better than you. I don't treat people like this. I wish I had never met you, but I have. And this is the result. Never in my life has anyone caused me so much pain. Despite the fact that I want to talk to you, I never will again. You don't deserve me, my energy, my time.

 

I remember one of the first times you were ignoring me, before we dated. I asked a friend if I should talk to you and find out what was going on and she said "no. don't waste your warmth on her". I wish I had listened to that comment and never wasted my warmth on you. that woman knew everything about you from all the way back then. I will never forget that comment.

 

I will never be wasting any more of my warmth on you.

[StrangerThanFiction]

Why? Why did you do this to us? Were you unhappy? Did you just not love me? Did you meet someone else? When I sent you proof that I hadn't cheated on you as you claimed I did, all you said was that everything you had done was childish and that you were sorry for hurting me. That's it?? Why did you do it in the first place then?? I don't understand why you went crazy like you did. I just want to know why! Did you just want an "out" and saying I cheated on you even though I had never given you any reason to think that even for a second was it? If you just wanted out you could've just broken up with me without dragging my name through the mud.

 

I'm so hurt, confused, and lost. I was sure you were it. I was so sure you were the man I had been waiting for my whole life, and then out of the blue you pull this? Just, why? We were so good together. I miss you so much and I still feel like we have a connection. I don't want this to be it. But if it is I just wish you would tell me WHY. All this wondering is killing me and I can't take it.

[Rayce]

Today marks 6 months of NC and I still miss you.

[Rayce]

They say it's suppose to get easier as time goes on but I am not so sure. I woke up and spent the whole day crying. You hurt me on a very deep level. I could of done without this experience in my life...

[MeadowFlower]

Hi.

 

-------

[Rayce]

peace... I hope your happy.

Edited May 26, 2019 by Rayce

[MeadowFlower]

So you found someone you like better

[MeadowFlower]

Come back

 

 

___

[NotCloseEnough]

I think about you constantly. I've tried to stay busy since we stopped talking and it helps a little, but nothing feels the same without you there. So many things have happened in just the last few days and everytime you're the first one I want to tell, but so far I've been able to stop myself.

 

More than anything else I just want to know what you're thinking. I know you need time to sort out the mess you've made of your life. And I know you won't be any good to me until you do that. I really thought we were going to end up together and I'm so scared that you're drifting further away everyday we don't talk. I'm scared that as this gets harder for me it might just be getting easier for you.

 

I guess that's probably my answer. Even if it's crazy I still love you. I hope you come back.

[MeadowFlower]

I maybe kinda haven't come to fully realise that you are not coming back.

 

There's nothing I can do anyway.

[GeorgiaPeach1]

I just had to be hard-headed and bring you into my life for a third time. I wasn't foolish enough to jump back into a relationship with you, and you didn't offer one either. While I've made improvements, nothing about you has changed. You're still rude, inconsiderate, selfish, arrogant, etc. This time there's been no honeymoon period. During NC, after the initial anger and depression, all I could really remember were the good times. I'm so disappointed in myself. Why can't I just accept that I have no family and no life partner? There is only one thing stopping me from ending the misery. Now I've got to undo this mess I've made by having you in my life again. It's clear to me you just want someone to dump on. Everything I say and do is wrong according to you. And now that I've made improvements, you bring up old stuff from months ago. Not one time have you mentioned anything you've said or done wrong. Thank goodness I didn't sleep with you this time around.

[GeorgiaPeach1]

Lessons I've learned the hard way:

1. No contact should be permanent.

2. There are reasons things didn't work out before. If those reasons had anything to do with incompatibility or abuse of any kind, you can't go back to a clean slate because those issues will remain.

3. If someone can dump you and go months without speaking to you and caring about your well-being, a close and loving relationship with him/her is all but impossible.

4. Ghosting and slow fading indicate a huge character flaw, such as lack of empathy.

5. If you have to use tactics (books, videos, blogs, etc) to try to get or keep someone's interest, then you're ultimately wasting your time.

[twatwa123]

I know you lead me on. I know you ended the relationship in the worst possible way. I know you've told me you are already talking to someone else, despite admitting you're not over me (hello rebound), and admitting you're only doing it because you live on your own and you get lonely, and this fact makes me hurt less. Sorta.

Hindsight is a great thing. I don't think you're ready for a serious relationship. And this farcical one with you has taught me many lessons. Yes, I was naive as you were my first, but no longer.

I do not want someone who doesn't know what they want, who makes sex difficult bordering impossible, constantly banging on about how you never used to do it with your ex of 8 years because it didn't feel right, and telling me that you've been here before, despite only having been together 3 months. You knew I was a nervous person, lacking confidence, and that time heals those things but you couldn't wait.

 

You are emotionally very immature. You cry over the most trivial issues. Crying at your mum because your bank cards got declined at the supermarket, crying to your mum because you were stuck in traffic for 3 hours, crying at your mum because you had to drive back to mine (a whole 10 minutes) because you forgot to take the cake from my fridge and take it to your mums, crying at me because I had some photos on my phone of you that you didn't like and I refused to delete them. Crying because I said I'd rather watch the movie with you on my Sofa rather than in bed, was very stupid of you to think I didn't want to snuggle up with you...when did I ever say that?! Silly girl!

 

And then there's the whole issue with your so-called friend. It seems you really don't like to be told anything or to be criticized, and you like to get your way the whole time.

So your "friend" ghosts you suddenly for a month, you don't know why. Doesn't even say anything to you at work. She then contacts you saying she's been depressed. So you are friends with her again. New Year. You had plans with her, she changes them at the last minute and this makes you understandably this time upset. You let that pass. February Time. Your "friend" gets upset over her boyfriend allegedly cheating on her when she has cheated on him. You're on a night out with me, but end up leaving me early to go and console her. A few weeks later you have some plans and she keeps changing them. You decide enough is enough. You don't want to talk to her anymore. You reveal all the above information to me, and I tell her you don't need friends like that. You even admitted that she messes you around and you are only "friends" now because you don't have many others. I say it's going to be OK, you have me, your loving BF. You later reveal to me that your own mother doesn't like her very much.

Several weeks later and you are friends with her again, after talking to her.

I tell you that if anything happens between you and her again I can't have much sympathy for you, and I'm only trying to look out for you. You get annoyed and upset at me and tell me that I should support you through every decision you make.

Errrmmm no, lady. No point in walking into a fire is there.

 

Anyways, none of that crap matters now because you are out of my life thankfully.

My brain is telling me that I miss you, but I realize I am only missing the feelings you gave me during the good times. I realize now someone else will give me those feelings again, and will hopefully be a more mature person, who doesn't make sex near impossible, and will know what they want, won't lead me on, or mess me around.

 

You are blocked on WhatsApp

Blocked on Facebook

Even blocked on the dating site we first met.

 

 

OH HOW I WISH YOU COULD SEE THIS.

Edited June 10, 2019 by twatwa123