No Contact Support Thread. Post here instead of contacting your ex.

[Onajourneynow]

5 days no contact now. Going strong.

I'm going to make new friends, and fill up my schedule so much that by the time you're back, I have zero time for you.

 

Sucks to be you.

[Polar965]

Three days NC here. Well, I did look at his FB, which didn't make any difference because I'm just numb. I hope I stay numb for a while.

[Hls923]

Today makes 2 weeks........ **Sigh**

[DrMario]

Your one hell of a fool, but I love you, my loyalty to you doesn't end because the relationship has, it'll take a lot more than that to completely push me away from your side, I've always stood by you, no matter what you've said and done, I always will, in one way or another.

[lakerman34]

Dear AP,

 

Maybe you think you have the power after I sent you that letter the other day. Maybe you don't. I don't know.

 

What I DO know is that this breakup hurts you, you're just too proud to admit it.

 

You have ALL the power to save this relationship, but to save face you won't, and that's why you aren't worth the patience nor the battle.

 

I'm done with you. I love you, and you will always have a place in my heart, but I'm not spending anymore energy waiting for that message. It'll come. I know it and deep down, you know it.

 

You and I didn't "break up." You just chose to be stupid for a few days and thought that I would act as I did in the past, just be OK with it.

 

You will never emotionally manipulate me again. You can never "play ghost" or decide that other "commitments" are more important than me again.

 

When you contact me, if you have anything substantial to say, we'll go from there, but just know that I am in the driver's seat from now on. Not you. If I don't like the way things are going, I will drop you faster than a hot pan. Believe it.

 

There is a lot of love between us. I see that you are lonely and that you miss me. You've never really been good at hiding your true feelings. It's up to you whether you want to be honest WITH YOURSELF or not.

 

If yes, great. If no, well, I am making myself better everyday and searching for your replacement.

 

Best,

Y

[Hls923]

Today is NC day 15 and you called earlier. I didn't answer so you left a voicemail asking for me to call you. When I didn't jump right at the request, you texted me twice 30 minutes later..........WHY??????? It is now 11 pm, 5 hrs later, and I have not and will not respond to you tonight. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not at all. I don't know of one thing that you could possibly say that would make this all OK. I honestly don't think you have what it takes to do what I would need to feel secure in this relationship again. You are all about the easy way out, and there's nothing easy about what you have done. .......

[Onajourneynow]

It's been just over three months since I last touched your face, or saw you physically.

 

My sexual urges are coming back. I'm starting to notice other men.

 

I sit here and I wonder if you have already been with another woman or women since we last saw one another. I don't cry when I touch myself anymore, the memories are fading away.

 

I feel like if I go with someone new, I'd be betraying you. I still hear your voice in my head.

 

Nowadays I'm focusing on my health. The spiral from our love caused my health to deteriorate. It's strange but when I'm in love, my skin glows, everything works, and then when the breakup happens, everything goes to ****.

 

I'm picking up the pieces of me again.

 

I have to go back to doing yoga, sleeping well again (instead of having long drawn out fights with you into the night as it happened in the last few months of the death of our relationship), eating healthy, not relying on copious amounts of junk food, making new friends, picking up my hobbies again, smiling, and laughing again.

 

I'm sad that you aren't here with me. We could have been happy together, but you had to sabotage it. I'm sorry.

[Onajourneynow]

Today is NC day 15 and you called earlier. I didn't answer so you left a voicemail asking for me to call you. When I didn't jump right at the request, you texted me twice 30 minutes later..........WHY??????? It is now 11 pm, 5 hrs later, and I have not and will not respond to you tonight. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not at all. I don't know of one thing that you could possibly say that would make this all OK. I honestly don't think you have what it takes to do what I would need to feel secure in this relationship again. You are all about the easy way out, and there's nothing easy about what you have done. .......

 

Good for you for not responding right away

[Hls923]

Good for you for not responding right away

 

Got another text at 7 this morning. Mad because I didn't respond last night!!!! I'm sorry, how does it feel to wait around for someone??!!!!

 

He wants to talk to me, I said it was very selfish of him to text me at 7am. No apology......

 

I asked what did he want, Se said he wants to talk, not text. Why does it always have to be on HIS terms???

 

I said if it's anything negative, he can keep it to himself and leave me alone. I have been doing really well the last couple weeks and I don't want to have to start back at square one.

 

I said I will meet him tonight a 8 pm. (if he wants to talk, then I want it to be in person). He said why so late? (1. Do you think I'm just going to jump because you said so? 2. I have other plans, and I'm not going to change them because of you. 3. You're the one that screwed up here, you can wait and meet me when it's convenient for me)

 

I simply said if that's too late, then it will have to wait until Tuesday, because I have work, counseling, and school tomorrow . He said 8 is fine.

 

 

Now that it has been a month since the break up, there are things that I want to say. I am viewing this as my time. I have no expectations of this being the "happily ever after", not by any stretch. I know him too well to think that.

[Cora]

Last night I went to the restaurant where we had our second date and shared our first kiss. It was the first time I set foot in that place since then. My heart was overcome with sadness for what once was and what is no more. It was very difficult for me, but I can't avoid places simply because I have memories of you there. I can't allow you to take hold of my life like that. I refuse to become a prisoner...trapped in the sadness and memories of you.

 

I often think about you and wonder how are things with you and the lady who took my place? Are you happy with her? Do you hold her tight at night like you once did me? Do you kiss her more passionately? Do your eyes light up when you see her face? Do you smile when a text from her comes across your phone? I wonder these things, but don't know why? I know I should not think about you. I know I should not care. You've long forgotten about me. It's just that I miss you and loved you so much. It's hard to erase you from my heart when I've held you there for so long. I know it's time to let go. As the years pass the memories will fade. And with any luck, new memories with someone else will be made.

 

For now though I'll take comfort in knowing life goes on and that it must rain before you get a rainbow. This is simply a moment in time...a lesson learned. I hope you're happy with your life and the choices you've made.

 

Goodnight my love...

[Onajourneynow]

Last night I went to the restaurant where we had our second date and shared our first kiss. It was the first time I set foot in that place since then. My heart was overcome with sadness for what once was and what is no more. It was very difficult for me, but I can't avoid places simply because I have memories of you there. I can't allow you to take hold of my life like that. I refuse to become a prisoner...trapped in the sadness and memories of you.

 

I often think about you and wonder how are things with you and the lady who took my place? Are you happy with her? Do you hold her tight at night like you once did me? Do you kiss her more passionately? Do your eyes light up when you see her face? Do you smile when a text from her comes across your phone? I wonder these things, but don't know why? I know I should not think about you. I know I should not care. You've long forgotten about me. It's just that I miss you and loved you so much. It's hard to erase you from my heart when I've held you there for so long. I know it's time to let go. As the years pass the memories will fade. And with any luck, new memories with someone else will be made.

 

For now though I'll take comfort in knowing life goes on and that it must rain before you get a rainbow. This is simply a moment in time...a lesson learned. I hope you're happy with your life and the choices you've made.

 

Goodnight my love...

 

I teared up reading this. I am going through the exact same feelings.

 

Today I went out to dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. Everything reminded me of him. How he always asks for slices of lemon to eat on the side with his dinner (my mom asked for slices of lemon out of nowhere). And she got watermelon afterwards, his favourite fruit.

 

I pray to god that someday all of these little things will fade away. It's a beautiful and yet tragic thing how one person can seemingly take over our souls and how we learn of their likes and dislikes and learn of all their little quirks. We remember all the beautiful things, and the bad things just fade away.

 

Couldn't help it but I went over all our past photos and I was just tearing up. We looked so happy and so in love.

 

I know I can't be with you romantically ever again. I just wish we could still be friends, somehow. I loved you. That just doesn't go away.

 

I wish this lump in my throat could go away

[Cora]

I teared up reading this. I am going through the exact same feelings.

 

Today I went out to dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. Everything reminded me of him. How he always asks for slices of lemon to eat on the side with his dinner (my mom asked for slices of lemon out of nowhere). And she got watermelon afterwards, his favourite fruit.

 

I pray to god that someday all of these little things will fade away. It's a beautiful and yet tragic thing how one person can seemingly take over our souls and how we learn of their likes and dislikes and learn of all their little quirks. We remember all the beautiful things, and the bad things just fade away.

 

Couldn't help it but I went over all our past photos and I was just tearing up. We looked so happy and so in love.

 

I know I can't be with you romantically ever again. I just wish we could still be friends, somehow. I loved you. That just doesn't go away.

 

I wish this lump in my throat could go away

 

The reminders are never ending it seems. How long has it been since your break up? I guess all we can do is take comfort in what the future will bring.

[PLT]

Well after promising myself every day since last Tuesday to go NC, and failing miserably I have now managed my first 24 hours without contacting you. I mean I haven't seen you for over 2 weeks, it shouldn't be this hard.

 

I've tried and tried for months now. I lost myself in trying to make you happy but nothing was ever good enough. I couldn't take it anymore. The no win situations you created for me, the double standards, the excessive criticism of every area of my life. When did this switch flip? Maybe the signs were there earlier, I'm sure they were in fact. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Over, and over, and over again.

 

I can't believe that we wont be creating any new memories with each other. I just couldn't take it anymore. You gave me no choice, for the sake of my own sanity. The bullying and manipulation tactics just got too much to bear. You took advantage of my warm hearted nature and thats something I hate to think of you. I wanted to believe you were better than that, you project a good image of it. But the reality of being with you is not the same as the false fantasy you project.

 

I thought you were my soul mate. You're not. You're an emotional vampire and I have to keep reminding myself of that. I miss the fake you. The you that you were before the mask slipped. But I know that the real you, is this you. The emotional abusive manipulator. You care more about whether someone thinks you're hot than whether you trample on peoples feelings. You have the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old. You are in your 40s.

 

So I'm struggling to work out why it's so difficult for me to let you go. I know the good times won't be back. For 8 months now it's been an ever escalating spiral of abuse, disrespect, and childish behaviour. I'm in love with who I thought you were. I can't believe it took me so long to figure it out. I'm in my 40's, and should have known better, and seen the signs. I'm angry at myself for investing so much emotional, love and understanding on you.

 

Even now, I want you to message me. To tell me you do love me, you do miss me, and you do want me. Knowing that isn't going to happen doesn't make it any easier.

 

Going by past experiences, you'll be in contact just when I'm actually starting to get over you. That's how your kind work. You have an innate sense of pouncing at the right time to get whatever it is you want.

 

I hope you are happy. I'm not, but I WILL be. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon, and probably sooner than I think. I'm convinced that your next relationship will go exactly the same way. How long it takes to go belly up is directly proportional to how quickly your new beau works you out and sees through the butter wouldn't melt false image.

[BurntNorton]

I will not contact you, even though I just found my love letters and poems stuffed into a book I gave you on the shelf. Did you purposely leave them behind to hurt me when you left, or is this just another example of how oblivious you are in general?

 

I meant what I said when I told you last week that I was done waiting and that 3 months should be long enough for you to figure out what you want. As hard as it is to face, I know that you're never going to be able to give me what I want and deserve. I'm done trying to get you to participate in a relationship with me; I'm done waiting for you to get your life together.

 

Finally I see that there will be no reward for all the years I spent trying to make things work, and I'm not going to blame myself for the failure of our relationship anymore. I see that your issues prevent you from being emotionally present.

 

I will honor my feelings and then move on from today's painful discovery. I will even wish you well. Silently.

[Onajourneynow]

The reminders are never ending it seems. How long has it been since your break up? I guess all we can do is take comfort in what the future will bring.

 

It's been three months.

Just from reading your posts Cora, I can tell you have a very kind and loving heart. You deserved better, far better than him.

 

You will attract a very loving person in the future. I believe life has something far better planned for us.

[Cora]

It's been three months.

Just from reading your posts Cora, I can tell you have a very kind and loving heart. You deserved better, far better than him.

 

You will attract a very loving person in the future. I believe life has something far better planned for us.

 

You deserve much better as well. Just remember it's his loss. I'm sorry for the pain he's caused you. You seem like such a sweet person and I appreciate your kind words. I agree, better will come for us both. We just have to keep our heads up.

[PLT]

Dammit!!!!!

Back to Day 0

 

Why am I letting you doing this to me. you aren't even doing anything now, apart from stonewalling me. I'm doing it to myself.

 

It hurts more knowing that I let you strip me of my self esteem. You did it over a long period of time. Cast your mind back 2 and a half years ago. You were insecure, anxious and clingy. How did I react to that? Did I just push you away? No, I pulled you closer, told you every time I saw you how gorgeous you were. Was there for you in every possible way I could be. I helped you build yourself up.

 

Recently I've needed some of that support and understanding. You aren't capable of giving it though. All you appear capable of is enjoying my delicious pain.

 

Our connection is/was physical and emotional. I'm not sure which is harder to let go. I have a niggling feeling that the emotional connection was a one way street anyway.

[K2z]

Do you ever think of me? Do you ever read my final note?

 

I still think of you all the time. First thing upon waking, last upon sleeping. At least these days I get to sleep, without an alcohol and pharmaceutical sledgehammer to the side of the head.

 

I am so angry and disappointed with you for getting married. I am marooned on a deserted island, where I write your name in the sand all day long.

[Onajourneynow]

I'm practically laughing now that I think about it. It seems you really don't care to be in touch with me.

 

Looks like you move on easy...

[K2z]

I function, more or less. I don't drink in the morning anymore. There was a stretch where I couldn't make it out the door to work without a fourth of a bottle of vodka in me. I'd go through a quart a day there for a couple weeks, just to tamp down the knives inside me.

 

But on a morning like this, it just feels like being gut-punched over and over. I know how the dazed bozer feels... a sense of surreality, as if I am watching someone else's life on TV. The wedding pictures with you, and some other guy, and your two names up on the wall in cheesy cursive. Is that even real? Or am I in some screwed up nightmare?

 

Some day.. some day... if it's not happening now, you're going to realize what you lost.. and what you chose. And I hope you stare at the ceiling and say, "My God, what did I do?"

[DrMario]

I'm trying so very hard to detach myself from you, yet for some reason all I ever hear is your name, you text my family and you associate with them, I've told you once before this makes me feel uncomfortable given we are no longer together, of course I got ignored and of course you have continued to do whatever you want, I have to wonder how much you want to torture me before your satisfied, you say things to them that you know they'll repeat back to me, your happy I get it but don't be cruel by rubbing it in my face, don't think this will be enough to defeat me, your not the first person to overstep her boundaries after a break up and hurt me, hopefully you'll be the last though, I wouldn't like to think somebody else would one day treat me with the same kind of disrespect as you have.

[Hls923]

Well, I met with you Sunday night.....after asking you TWICE not to ask to meet me if it was going to be negative. Nope----it wasn't negative for you--you just wanted to assuage your guilt and "explain things to me in person" so I wouldn't "be mad at you".....

 

Ummmmmmmmmm.....you said NOTHING different than you said a month ago, bringing me back to square one, like I asked you not to do......you are so incredibly selfish it's unbelievable. It's none of your business if I'm mad at you or not. You broke up with me, now you deal with the consequences of that.

 

If I'm out of your life, why do you even care if I'm mad or not???

 

But of course you had to throw in there that you still love me....Exact words. Big effing deal!!!! You also told me she has a boyfriend!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-----

 

With the trust issues you have, you think it's a good idea to get with a girl who cheated on her boyfriend to go on a date with you. The karma of screwing over a good woman is the cheating WH*RE you end up with !!!!! And the funniest thing is that you KNOW she cheated and let you take her out, but you still want her>>>>>>laughable really!!!!

 

EVERY single time you text and she doesn't answer right away, or EVERY time she goes somewhere with out you---is she telling the truth, or is she letting another man buy her dinner while you sit at home???!!!!! If she will cheat WITH you, sure as hell she will cheat ON you!!! And going into a relationship knowing she's a cheater, you deserve it!!!!!!

 

Still wanted to play the "I know it was a mistake, but I still need time. You're right about all of it, but I still need time"....want to text me for two days flip-flopping......well, I'm DONE WITH THE GAMES. The text I sent Tuesday night is the last text I will send you. I have blocked you on my phone, and I hope to never hear from you again.........

Edited January 29, 2016 by Hls923

[Onajourneynow]

Well, I met with you Sunday night.....after asking you TWICE not to ask to meet me if it was going to be negative. Nope----it wasn't negative for you--you just wanted to assuage your guilt and "explain things to me in person" so I wouldn't "be mad at you".....

 

Ummmmmmmmmm.....you said NOTHING different than you said a month ago, bringing me back to square one, like I asked you not to do......you are so incredibly selfish it's unbelievable. It's none of your business if I'm mad at you or not. You broke up with me, now you deal with the consequences of that.

 

If I'm out of your life, why do you even care if I'm mad or not???

 

But of course you had to throw in there that you still love me....Exact words. Big effing deal!!!! You also told me she has a boyfriend!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-----

 

With the trust issues you have, you think it's a good idea to get with a girl who cheated on her boyfriend to go on a date with you. The karma of screwing over a good woman is the cheating WH*RE you end up with !!!!! And the funniest thing is that you KNOW she cheated and let you take her out, but you still want her>>>>>>laughable really!!!!

 

EVERY single time you text and she doesn't answer right away, or EVERY time she goes somewhere with out you---is she telling the truth, or is she letting another man buy her dinner while you sit at home???!!!!! If she will cheat WITH you, sure as hell she will cheat ON you!!! And going into a relationship knowing she's a cheater, you deserve it!!!!!!

 

Still wanted to play the "I know it was a mistake, but I still need time. You're right about all of it, but I still need time"....want to text me for two days flip-flopping......well, I'm DONE WITH THE GAMES. The text I sent Tuesday night is the last text I will send you. I have blocked you on my phone, and I hope to never hear from you again.........

 

VENT SESSION. Wow, you are on fire

 

He is an idiot if he thinks you'll take him back. These people think they can sabotage and destroy a relationship and take away all semblance of respect for themselves and others... and then think we'll take them back?!

 

We got this Dusting off the pain and regrets, we are better off without these losers.

 

I honestly feel my life is more carefree and happier now. Every single day I get back to the old me, the me that was connected to myself and honouring myself and taking care of myself. Everything is going to be okay!! :bunny:

[Onajourneynow]

I'm trying so very hard to detach myself from you, yet for some reason all I ever hear is your name, you text my family and you associate with them, I've told you once before this makes me feel uncomfortable given we are no longer together, of course I got ignored and of course you have continued to do whatever you want, I have to wonder how much you want to torture me before your satisfied, you say things to them that you know they'll repeat back to me, your happy I get it but don't be cruel by rubbing it in my face, don't think this will be enough to defeat me, your not the first person to overstep her boundaries after a break up and hurt me, hopefully you'll be the last though, I wouldn't like to think somebody else would one day treat me with the same kind of disrespect as you have.

 

She sounds lost and confused. Honour yourself. You are wonderful.

[DrMario]

She sounds lost and confused. Honour yourself. You are wonderful.

 

This means an awful lot to me and I am very thankful to hear it, thankyou for your kindness