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met for first time [updated]


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Hi. I have been talking to this girl for 3 months(video calls/text/phone calls).

she was coming to london(where i live) for an engagement party and we decided she would stay 2 days longer afterwards. 

thurs evening- dinner and drinks date. made out in the car after.

fri- her engagement party so i didnt see her.

sat- saw her at night and we were at a bar(saw her friends) etc

sunday- musical show together and lunch/dinner.  dropped her to a hotel near mine (didnt stay the night with her as she was tired and wants her own space to sleep)

monday- breakfast and spent 2 hours at the swimming pool/jacuzzi. lunch then dropped her to the airport.

she was very touchy feeling and we kissed throughout the few days together. But im confused why she didnt want to sleep with me?

 

 

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She thinks it is too soon perhaps? 

Or why didn't you take the initiative? You said that you've kissed many times and she was very touchy so it was probably up to you to take it to the next level. He hinted her interest, so what's stopped you?

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1 hour ago, Alvi said:

She thinks it is too soon perhaps? 

Or why didn't you take the initiative? You said that you've kissed many times and she was very touchy so it was probably up to you to take it to the next level. He hinted her interest, so what's stopped you?

she stopped me. she was tired sun evening and wasnt in the mood

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1 hour ago, fred123 said:

im confused why she didnt want to sleep with me?

She doesn't really know you and this was, in effect, your first date. Further, she was there for something else, seeing you was a side trip.

Add to that she had to go home and may not want a messy distance situation.

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6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

She doesn't really know you and this was, in effect, your first date. Further, she was there for something else, seeing you was a side trip.

Add to that she had to go home and may not want a messy distance situation.

yes but we could have just had fun anyways?  she has had flings before etc

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2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

she gonna see you again?

she says she wants to. havnt made plans yet.

im tempted to ask her why she didnt want to sleep with me or if she ismt sexually attracted to me?  i dont want to waste her or mines time

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3 minutes ago, fred123 said:

she says she wants to. havnt made plans yet.

im tempted to ask her why she didnt want to sleep with me or if she ismt sexually attracted to me?  i dont want to waste her or mines time

OMG don't kill it with that...you'd be lookin like a jerk after only one thing. Just ask her out again. 

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Just now, smackie9 said:

OMG don't kill it with that...you'd be lookin like a jerk after only one thing. Just ask her out again. 

im not looking for one thing. but even if i was so what? she has had flings before and casual dated. 

how do i ask her out again? she lives in europe so how do i proceed with this?

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2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

OMG don't kill it with that...you'd be lookin like a jerk after only one thing. Just ask her out again. 

also she could be hooking up with people anyways i wouldnt have a clue

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Probably didn't sleep with you because it was the first time you'd met and she didn't feel ready for that.  It's pretty normal.  Whether she's had flings before is irrelevant.   I've had flings before myself.  Sometimes they just happen in the moment when everything is going a certain way. 

In your situation, it seems like you have been communicating in a "dating" kind of way.  When people who are dating make the move to sleeping together, it often means that they are bringing the relationship to a different level.  That is not the same as a "fling."  The people pretty much need to be on the same page about where things are going - at least, one would hope.

Are you interested in spending more time with her even if she is not ready to get sexual with you yet?  If you are, then DO NOT ask her why she didn't sleep with you.  That is sort of like putting an ultimatum out there.

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3 hours ago, fred123 said:

she says she wants to. havnt made plans yet.

im tempted to ask her why she didnt want to sleep with me or if she ismt sexually attracted to me?  i dont want to waste her or mines time

Don’t go there. Don’t ask.

 

just make plans to meet up again.

 

she didn’t want to be a one night stand if she really had interest in you.  Since you hadn’t met face to face that was what this effectively was.

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1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said:

Don’t go there. Don’t ask.

 

just make plans to meet up again.

 

she didn’t want to be a one night stand if she really had interest in you.  Since you hadn’t met face to face that was what this effectively was.

ok. she lives in another country though

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6 hours ago, fred123 said:

im tempted to ask her why she didnt want to sleep with me or if she ismt sexually attracted to me? 

Don’t do that. It’s very socially inappropriate. 

6 hours ago, fred123 said:

i dont want to waste her or mines time

Is that the sole reason why you are looking for a woman? She either puts out the first few times you meet or she is wasting your time. 

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9 hours ago, fred123 said:

she stopped me. she was tired sun evening and wasnt in the mood

There ya go.

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10 hours ago, fred123 said:

ok. she lives in another country though

That seems to answer your question as to why she didn't want to have sex.

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37 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That seems to answer your question as to why she didn't want to have sex.

?? explain

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Just now, fred123 said:

?? explain

she is also going greece/mykonos next month with her friends. are u telling me girls dont have flings on vacations?

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5 hours ago, chillii said:

There ya go.

so what do i do now? i messaged ydy saying " il try to call you tonight on the way to the gym".

she replied "im at friends tonight!"

havnt heard from her yet

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16 hours ago, fred123 said:

she lives in europe

I thought London was in Europe too... 🙂 anyways, it seems to me that she was happy to mess around with you but not to take it to the next level, probably because you two live far apart. It's possible she doesn't want that type of long distance relationship.  

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She probably felt like it was too soon. If she was unsure of where your relationship might go, this can sometimes cause women to hold back on becoming intimate with someone until there's enough clarity. Have you spoken since? She may have not felt that instant sexual chemistry with you. 

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41 minutes ago, Clarity1 said:

She probably felt like it was too soon. If she was unsure of where your relationship might go, this can sometimes cause women to hold back on becoming intimate with someone until there's enough clarity. Have you spoken since? She may have not felt that instant sexual chemistry with you. 

just a couple of standard texts.

but she was very touchy touchy with me and kissing me the whole time. so dunno what that means.

i dunno i really like her

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2 minutes ago, fred123 said:

just a couple of standard texts.

but she was very touchy touchy with me and kissing me the whole time. so dunno what that means.

i dunno i really like her

shes probably not into me tbf. her lack of response since shes got back says it all.

sucks but thats life

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