When a Guy Says 'Do You Have My Number?

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

Is that an invitation for you to text or call him? 

We were talking the other day. Hadn’t seen him since pre-pandemic. We were both excited to see each other. He seemed a bit nervous and immediately started to mention how much weight he gained during C19, but I just kept reassuring him that he looked fine. I was a bit nervous as well and could tell he would have preferred for me to walk down the street with him but  I just hung back and played coy. Didn’t offer my number or anything, until he finally asked if I had his. This was two weeks ago and I haven’t texted or called (neither has he.)
 

We saw each other again at a Baseball game this past Friday and we were both cordial, making small talk here and there but once the game was over he got up abruptly and left. Of course he said goodbye, but almost like he was annoyed. *shrug

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

We were talking the other day. Hadn’t seen him since pre-pandemic

How do you know each other? Do you work together? Are your friends? Were you dating? Are you interested in him?

Are you connected on social media? The comment sounds like a parting remark, but doesn't mean anything. If he were interested in dating he would ask your number/social media and contact you.

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How do you know each other? Do you work together? Are your friends? Were you dating? Are you interested in him?

Are you connected on social media? The comment sounds like a parting remark, but doesn't mean anything. If he were interested in dating he would ask your number/social media and contact you.

Good questions.

we used to live in the same neighborhood sometime ago and we were acquaintances.  We stay connected via mutual friends, events and such.

No. We never dated. Not really romantically interested but he caught my eye a bit. He asked if I was on FB but I’m not and have no plans to be. He used to flirt with me some in the past, but nothing heavy. 

[smackie9]

Because to him you give him mixed signals and it makes him feel uncertain about you. Send him a fun and flirty text...say it was good to see him again, and maybe you can hang out sometime. Now if he doesn't take the bait and set something up, the dude is a dud. 

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Because to him you give him mixed signals and it makes him feel uncertain about you. Send him a fun and flirty text...say it was good to see him again, and maybe you can hang out sometime. Now if he doesn't take the bait and set something up, the dude is a dud. 

Oh boy that makes me nervous but I guess I can try. 

[NuevoYorko]

I recommend being more discerning about when to "play coy" in the future.  From your description of the chance meeting, it would have been natural and appropriate, and also not showing any over the top signs of interest, for you to have walked a little ways together and caught up more.  As it played out, he probably felt a bit awkward.  And he's self conscious about his weight.  So,  I agree. the ball was left in your court.  Do reach out, don't be scared.  Sure, he might not respond the way you are hoping, but it's worth a try.  One thing is almost for certain:  You won't be messing up any potential by reaching out.  It doesn't seem desperate or anything like that.  Just do it.  Low key.

[alphamale]

On 8/10/2022 at 2:45 PM, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

Is that an invitation for you to text or call him? 

We were talking the other day. Hadn’t seen him since pre-pandemic. We were both excited to see each other. He seemed a bit nervous and immediately started to mention how much weight he gained during C19, but I just kept reassuring him that he looked fine. I was a bit nervous as well and could tell he would have preferred for me to walk down the street with him but  I just hung back and played coy. Didn’t offer my number or anything, until he finally asked if I had his. This was two weeks ago and I haven’t texted or called (neither has he.)
 

We saw each other again at a Baseball game this past Friday and we were both cordial, making small talk here and there but once the game was over he got up abruptly and left. Of course he said goodbye, but almost like he was annoyed. *shrug

LIAB36, if you like him stop playing games. The same goes for him 

[glows]

On 8/10/2022 at 12:35 PM, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

Oh boy that makes me nervous but I guess I can try. 

Did you text him? 

If he was interested anyway he would have asked you out by now. Instead he’s flirted mildly in the past and awkwardly asked if you had his number. You can try reaching out but his self esteem seems extraordinarily low. Be friendly and chat at these games or events but I wouldn’t think anything of this. 

[Rider on the Storm]

It sounds like his self esteem is already low and your playing coy probably did little to help that. 

I can't say what his level of actual interest is (or what yours is for that matter), but overall, it seems like you have somewhat of a favorable scenario here, assuming you are interested. He lead you to believe that he wanted you to walk with him when you opted not to and he asked if you had his number. 

 It sounds like you rarely see him so I don't think you have anything to lose here. Send him a message that says it was nice seeing him and ask if he'd like to grab a drink.

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

On 8/10/2022 at 5:23 PM, NuevoYorko said:

I recommend being more discerning about when to "play coy" in the future.  From your description of the chance meeting, it would have been natural and appropriate, and also not showing any over the top signs of interest, for you to have walked a little ways together and caught up more.  As it played out, he probably felt a bit awkward.  And he's self conscious about his weight.  So,  I agree. the ball was left in your court.  Do reach out, don't be scared.  Sure, he might not respond the way you are hoping, but it's worth a try.  One thing is almost for certain:  You won't be messing up any potential by reaching out.  It doesn't seem desperate or anything like that.  Just do it.  Low key.

Yea, I guess my being coy helped in getting his number to an extent, but maybe I could have walked with him some to better connect. I was a little nervous as well and trying not to show it so I felt it best to go our separate ways and talk later via phone. 

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

On 8/14/2022 at 1:19 AM, alphamale said:

LIAB36, if you like him stop playing games. The same goes for him 

Does it really seem like I’m playing games? ‘cause I’m not. Just a little nervous, shy. I’m also super traditional so I would prefer for the guy to make the first move.

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

On 8/14/2022 at 9:41 AM, glows said:

Did you text him? 

If he was interested anyway he would have asked you out by now. Instead he’s flirted mildly in the past and awkwardly asked if you had his number. You can try reaching out but his self esteem seems extraordinarily low. Be friendly and chat at these games or events but I wouldn’t think anything of this. 

I did not.

You are probably right. A guy who was truly interested would make it more obvious or at least do something to move the process along. 

[glows]

22 minutes ago, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

I did not.

You are probably right. A guy who was truly interested would make it more obvious or at least do something to move the process along. 

My comment comes from what I find attractive in a partner and respectfully I would not pursue a man who has self-esteem issues or doesn’t seem as enthusiastic in person. It’s not in my nature to make excuses for someone as if they are shy or having a bad day. He could have asked you out and there was plenty of opportunity to do so. 

At the end of your OP you had mentioned he seemed annoyed which seems really off. There were multiple opportunities for him to ask you out in person and he didn’t. I wouldn’t focus at all on the phone number, how far you walked with him or texting/not texting. It’s not necessary at all for this much contact in person and the vibe is totally off. 

 

[Wiseman2]

On 8/10/2022 at 3:11 PM, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

. We never dated. Not really romantically interested 

If you're not romantically interested it sounds mutual that it's just acquaintances running into each other. No point worrying about it as if it were a dating scenario.

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

On 8/14/2022 at 10:26 AM, Rider on the Storm said:

It sounds like his self esteem is already low and your playing coy probably did little to help that. 

I can't say what his level of actual interest is (or what yours is for that matter), but overall, it seems like you have somewhat of a favorable scenario here, assuming you are interested. He lead you to believe that he wanted you to walk with him when you opted not to and he asked if you had his number. 

 It sounds like you rarely see him so I don't think you have anything to lose here. Send him a message that says it was nice seeing him and ask if he'd like to grab a drink.

Well, I hope he didn’t feel pressured to give me his number because I wasn’t looking for it. Didn’t even want to walk out with him because I was nervous and it was sort of awkward so that’s why I kept waiting for him to just leave. I admit I was a bit curious about him in the beginning but it has waned, and I think the feeling is mutual especially after not seeing each other for two years. 

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

10 hours ago, glows said:

My comment comes from what I find attractive in a partner and respectfully I would not pursue a man who has self-esteem issues or doesn’t seem as enthusiastic in person. It’s not in my nature to make excuses for someone as if they are shy or having a bad day. He could have asked you out and there was plenty of opportunity to do so. 

At the end of your OP you had mentioned he seemed annoyed which seems really off. There were multiple opportunities for him to ask you out in person and he didn’t. I wouldn’t focus at all on the phone number, how far you walked with him or texting/not texting. It’s not necessary at all for this much contact in person and the vibe is totally off. 

 

I think you’re right. The vibe was off. I didn’t think he would comment on his appearance, which threw me off a little. I hope I didn’t give the impression that I wanted him to give me his phone number, because he didn’t have to. I do think he’s just a nice guy though who just offered it as an act of goodwill with no intention of calling. 

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you're not romantically interested it sounds mutual that it's just acquaintances running into each other. No point worrying about it as if it were a dating scenario.

You’re right. Thank you. 

[glows]

1 hour ago, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

I think you’re right. The vibe was off. I didn’t think he would comment on his appearance, which threw me off a little. I hope I didn’t give the impression that I wanted him to give me his phone number, because he didn’t have to. I do think he’s just a nice guy though who just offered it as an act of goodwill with no intention of calling. 

Agreed. It was a comment in passing and not an unusual thing for people to ask if someone has their number while crossing paths briefly especially if you’re in similar circles or meet regularly but not often. I don’t think you gave the impression you wanted much out of him but neither did he.

If you see him in person again at these events though see whether he’s open and friendly and focus on what’s going on there to get a better read of him (body language etc). Acting annoyed or avoiding isn’t a good sign. 

[chillii]

12 hours ago, LoveIsABattlefield36 said:

I did not.

You are probably right. A guy who was truly interested would make it more obvious or at least do something to move the process along. 

l don't think he's that interested , and do you have my number just sounds like friend rubbish to me. So what you were a bit shy so he would've picked that up and done a bit more if he was really interested,

And were you actually even going his way or why should you walk with him again if he's really interested he could walk with you your way , or just stop to talk.

Edited August 17, 2022 by chillii

[LoveIsABattlefield36]

1 hour ago, glows said:

Agreed. It was a comment in passing and not an unusual thing for people to ask if someone has their number while crossing paths briefly especially if you’re in similar circles or meet regularly but not often. I don’t think you gave the impression you wanted much out of him but neither did he.

If you see him in person again at these events though see whether he’s open and friendly and focus on what’s going on there to get a better read of him (body language etc). Acting annoyed or avoiding isn’t a good sign. 

Thanks. This all makes more sense now. If I see him again, I will pay attention to his body language to get a better idea, and if nothing, that’s fine too.