Soj88 Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 (edited) Hi. im going through a tough time with my current girlfriend(1 year nearly). Shes recently met a guy at her workplace and they got texting quite frequently. After a week or so he asked her for a drink and me which i joined them a few hours later... that evening we went back to his place( he lives 5mins from her house) we drank a little and smoked a tiny bit of Weed( we both dont dabble much in this). The following few days(Monday) he invited her round to his for some dinner with his flat mate also.. again she went round for drinks and a food and called me after. The next few days(Wednesday) again i was at her house and she got a text from him asking if we wanted to go round either tonight or the next day, so we went round for a few drinks again which turned into quite a few followed by some more Weed. After this time i felt quite uncomfortable and we both had work early. The next day(Thursday) i was working late, it was her birthday weekend and we was both going to center parcs with her Family on the Friday.. she told me that she was off to his place later, i told her that i felt uncomfortable with her going round to his house quite alot to just drink and smoke Weed.. that didnt go down well and i ended up saying sorry for being jealous which she said she felt i was being abit controlling... she went round to his house on her own anyways and she stayed at his till around 3am(she said his house friend was also there, he lives downstairs). The whole weekend in center parcs was rather awkward and she told me after we got back on the Monday that she felt abit funny with me and still upset even though she accepted i was sorry. On the Wednesday when i woke up as i had early work, her sister had text me saying where is she? later on in the morning she rang me saying that she had got kicked out of her house(her mum lives together with her and her child) She said they went round to his and stayed the night, that she was with her Child too and she had a mega argument with her mother.. However That same day her mum let her come back and from what i can tell her mum was begging her in the end not to leave.. this kind of gave me alarm bells and ever since im very unsettled and unsure, shes being extremely funny with me and a little cold via text. She is mostly ignoring my messages sometimes while i can see shes online talking to likely him. she has always said they are just very good friends... i feel extremely anxious ever since this and i really am trying to move on from it. I want to trust her but just the way she is acting with me makes me really feel like crap... im not sure what i should do, ive spoken to my mum and friends and they agree that i should end it. We are Both 33 years of age so we arnt kids but i feel like this is getting really childish, Also id like to say the whole year till this last 2-4 weeks has being unreal we have never really argued. Edited August 12, 2022 by Soj88 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 Perhaps the right way to answer this question is to ask yourself. Would you like a girlfriend who drinks, gets high with a male coworker and confides in him instead of you, her boyfriend, when she is feeling vulnerable and uncertain? Given her timing and their close emotional friendship, I don't think it's an outrageous leap to assume she's having an affair. Even if she isn't, your relationship seems to be deteriorating, and she relies on her coworker for emotional support. It is one thing to have friends of the opposite sex. When alcohol, drugs, and late nights are involved, it's a bad party for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 25 minutes ago, Soj88 said: she told me that she was off to his place later, i told her that i felt uncomfortable with her going round to his house quite alot to just drink and smoke Weed.. that didnt go down well and i ended up saying sorry for being jealous which she said she felt i was being abit controlling... she went round to his house on her own anyways and she stayed at his till around 3am she has always said they are just very good friends... Just good friends, yea right. I'd like to have a dollar for every time that's been used as cover. She really knows how to work it. You try to set a boundary and she goes on the attack and you end up apologizing. And whatever it is has escalated from the two of you having a drink and smoke to her staying til 3am alone, and then spending the night. Ugh. I'm sorry man. I agree with your friends and family. She cares more about hanging out with this guy, and doing whatever they're doing, than about how you feel and the relationship. You can do what needs to be done and hold your head high, or you can be a doormat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, Soj88 said: ive spoken to my mum and friends and they agree that i should end it. Were Both 33 years of age It sounds like she's dating him almost making you and your preexisting relationship a third wheel. Step far away from this. Listen to your friends and family. Tell her you want to end it. You can't tell her who to socialize with, but you can maintain your sanity by stepping away from this nonsense. Edited August 12, 2022 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soj88 Posted August 12, 2022 Author Share Posted August 12, 2022 Thank you everyone. I woke up this morning to a text from her saying that her head isnt in the right place for a relationship right now and she needed to step away, I was going to end it with her on Saturday but I guess I now know where we stand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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