She said that we're not meant to each other

[Brooks39]

 

Hi dear friends, 

Just ended my relationship with a girl.

Little backstory: We dated for about 6 months, everything looked fine (sex drive, emotional attracted (maybe just for me), except she several times canceled a dates and for the reason, she said that she have headache or bad mood.

 

She said that we're different, also that we have different statuses, like she's a waitress and i'm doing financial stuff in office - I answered that I don't judge a person by his work or money - thats my oppinion.

 

Few days ago, she said three things;

1) We are not meant for each other;

2) I don't want to hurt you, you need to move on;

3) And that she don't have the same feelings like i have, but also she said that she likes me.

Guys or girls, i don't know what to do about this, but i feel that i need to do something. I know after many breakups that if it's not meant then it not meant, buuuttttt, i feel that in this case there's a solution - maybe.......

Sincerely,

Your new member

[glows]

It’s best to accept it’s over. Not accepting what she’s saying is also not respecting her wishes. She doesn’t think you’re compatible. She may like you as a person but there’s no chemistry because she doesn’t feel the same way romantically.

Is she still contacting you or are you still trying to contact her? 

[FMW]

From what you've shared, I don't think there's any reason for you to invest any more time or emotion into this girl.  She seems pretty clear on her position.  I know it's hard, but sometimes we just have to accept that relationships weren't what we thought or hoped they were and move on.  

[Brooks39]

4 minutes ago, glows said:

It’s best to accept it’s over. Not accepting what she’s saying is also not respecting her wishes. She doesn’t think you’re compatible. She may like you as a person but there’s no chemistry because she doesn’t feel the same way romantically.

Is she still contacting you or are you still trying to contact her? 

No she's not, she texted 2 days after breakup;

1) I am very sorry, but i really cannot continue our dating and relationship. Those are my feelings and I can''t do anything about it, don't blame yourself.

I answered - thank you for message, I seem to understand you, however, after how long we were together, I would be grateful if you could explain more specifically and broadly how we got here.

On that she answered- I haven't come to that feeling that were right for each other. Ofcourse your're good guy and i like your, but that's not enought i didn't want to hurt you or use you.

After that i'm on no contact.

[NuevoYorko]

OP, she has been completely clear.  Please believe her.  If she's not feeling it, there is nothing you can do to make her.  Let this go and open yourself up to finding someone who is a great fit and feels it!

[glows]

4 hours ago, Brooks39 said:

No she's not, she texted 2 days after breakup;

1) I am very sorry, but i really cannot continue our dating and relationship. Those are my feelings and I can''t do anything about it, don't blame yourself.

I answered - thank you for message, I seem to understand you, however, after how long we were together, I would be grateful if you could explain more specifically and broadly how we got here.

On that she answered- I haven't come to that feeling that were right for each other. Ofcourse your're good guy and i like your, but that's not enought i didn't want to hurt you or use you.

After that i'm on no contact.

It may hurt but it'll get easier with time. Right now it's sudden and you may be in shock so give yourself more time and don't beg or grovel because she's showing you that she doesn't want to be with you. 

The plus side of all this? It's difficult to see right now because you're in pain but you're now also free to pursue someone who's crazy about you and way more into you. Once you move past the break up, it's up from here.

[Blind-Sided]

21 hours ago, Brooks39 said:

...

I answered - thank you for message, I seem to understand you, however, after how long we were together, I would be grateful if you could explain more specifically and broadly how we got here.

..

First, sorry you are in this position.

Second.... she has made up her mind, and you just need to move on.

BUT... lastly... how long were you together?   If it's been less than a year... it's understandable. Sometimes it takes a while to really get to know someone. But then again... sometimes the other person has issues, and they get into their own head, and cause problems. 

[Brooks39]

1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said:

First, sorry you are in this position.

Second.... she has made up her mind, and you just need to move on.

BUT... lastly... how long were you together?   If it's been less than a year... it's understandable. Sometimes it takes a while to really get to know someone. But then again... sometimes the other person has issues, and they get into their own head, and cause problems. 

You may be right, because she managed to say about our different statuses lot of times and she couldn,t got over that. 

[Wiseman2]

23 hours ago, Brooks39 said:

She said that we're different, also that we have different statuses, like she's a waitress and i'm doing financial stuff in office

Was there a significant differential in you incomes/standard of living? She may have become resentful. There's also the issue if after 6 mos. the relationship was stagnating, in her opinion as far as a future, etc. Then there is the issue of her breakup 6 mos. prior and her still in contact with that ex. So overall she wasn't ready to date. It's doubtful that she would date for 1/2 a year then suddenly decide she's not attracted.

[Lotsgoingon]

Sadly, you are wrong. There is no solution. She doesn't want to be with you. And in fact it's a terrible idea for you to try to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. 

Let go and move on. 

Her reasons are actually unimportant. All that matters is that this woman doesn't want to date you. 

[Clarity1]

Unfortunately, she probably has her own issues which has instigated her to say those things to you, for instance, the career aspect. She might have low self-esteem or value. This is not your responsibility. You showed her you like her, and interested in you. There's nothing more you can do if she's made up her mind. Let her go and focus on what you want

[ExpatInItaly]

Feelings can't always be logically explained, OP. 

It's going to be best to accept that hers simply don't match yours, and let this one go. She can't manufacture something that just isn't there for her. It stings but it will be better in the long run to go your separate ways.