being nice

[lost]

I have been seeing this guy for a year and a half now. I have tried breaking up repeatedly but haven't been successful because I have not been quite the bitch I used to be. I don't want to hurt him or be hurt myself anymore. Now it's hard because a lot of time has been invested and I actually love him now. I just hate the b.s that we put each other through. If I don't call him for days he shows up at my house or my school and calls me repeatedly. I have told him he needs to stop this so we can both move on and he is not allowing it to happen. I just want to know what you would do in this situation.

[Tony T]

You did not make it clear. Do you now want to break up with him...or do you just want him to stop coming to your house or school and calling you repeatedly when he doesn't hear from you?

 

Overall, this doesn't sound like it's an exciting relationship for you. You may think you love him but I really don't see that in your post.

 

Whatever the case is, you have got to be a mature woman about this and simply assert and enforce your wishes. If he does not conform, then make him pay the consequences.

 

You don't have to be a bitch to break up with somebody. You simply tell that person you don't feel right in the situation and you want to sever ties. If they persist to bother you, you obtain a court order. If they violate the court order, they are arrested.

 

If you want to stay with him, tell him he needs to modify his behavior or it's over. And be ready to bolt if he doesn't change.

[lost]

thank u for responding I appreciate it. However,I have tried being nice and mature about it. He is not a bad person, it's just that we are not meant for each other. I have tried getting it in his head, but he doesn't want to go. I am aware of the whole restraining order thing, I had to get one for my ex-husband a few years ago but he was a big jerk. I think I have lost sight of what made me strong. I now feel like crap if I hurt somebody, but I have been stern with him. It his hard thinking about not having him next to me at night, but I still tell him that I am prepared to do what is best for us. I am usually a lot stronger than how I appear to be in these posts, but I was also arrogant and selfish in the past. I am no longer that way. Please have patience with me. I don't keep returning his call, but I did recently return one with a plea bargain. I will talk to him again tonight if he leaves me alone for a few days to let me analyze the situation.

You did not make it clear. Do you now want to break up with him...or do you just want him to stop coming to your house or school and calling you repeatedly when he doesn't hear from you?

 

Overall, this doesn't sound like it's an exciting relationship for you. You may think you love him but I really don't see that in your post.

 

Whatever the case is, you have got to be a mature woman about this and simply assert and enforce your wishes. If he does not conform, then make him pay the consequences. You don't have to be a bitch to break up with somebody. You simply tell that person you don't feel right in the situation and you want to sever ties. If they persist to bother you, you obtain a court order. If they violate the court order, they are arrested. If you want to stay with him, tell him he needs to modify his behavior or it's over. And be ready to bolt if he doesn't change.

[lost]

thank u for responding I appreciate it. However,I have tried being nice and mature about it. He is not a bad person, it's just that we are not meant for each other. I have tried getting it in his head, but he doesn't want to go. I am aware of the whole restraining order thing, I had to get one for my ex-husband a few years ago but he was a big jerk. I think I have lost sight of what made me strong. I now feel like crap if I hurt somebody, but I have been stern with him. It his hard thinking about not having him next to me at night, but I still tell him that I am prepared to do what is best for us. I am usually a lot stronger than how I appear to be in these posts, but I was also arrogant and selfish in the past. I am no longer that way. Please have patience with me. I don't keep returning his call, but I did recently return one with a plea bargain. I will talk to him again tonight if he leaves me alone for a few days to let me analyze the situation.

You did not make it clear. Do you now want to break up with him...or do you just want him to stop coming to your house or school and calling you repeatedly when he doesn't hear from you?

 

Overall, this doesn't sound like it's an exciting relationship for you. You may think you love him but I really don't see that in your post.

 

Whatever the case is, you have got to be a mature woman about this and simply assert and enforce your wishes. If he does not conform, then make him pay the consequences. You don't have to be a bitch to break up with somebody. You simply tell that person you don't feel right in the situation and you want to sever ties. If they persist to bother you, you obtain a court order. If they violate the court order, they are arrested. If you want to stay with him, tell him he needs to modify his behavior or it's over. And be ready to bolt if he doesn't change.