Is my girlfriend being patronizing? or am I being too sensitive?

[giotto]

Very rude, IMO. Generally, these behaviours tend to get worse with time. Have a frank conversation with your condescending girlfriend.

[Maldives]

On 8/19/2022 at 7:36 PM, beng1 said:

Hi!

Recently my girlfriend has been saying somethings which to me feels very patronizing. I'm interested in hearing other peoples opinions - is it patronizing or am I just being sensitive?

Some examples:

She came home from work and I had spent hours tidying/cleaning the entire house, one of the first things she said when getting home is..
her: "you didn't want to tidy the chair?"
me: "oh i forgot i was so busy  rushing around"
her: "i think its cute you dont notice things like that" (she was referring to the fact i didnt plump up the cushions).

Other examples are..

I would be cooking us dinner and she will come in and be like "are you not following a recipe???" (she says in a way like im not capable of cooking on my own)
 

If I say something she doesn't understand she says "what?" in a way like im completely stupid. Instead of nicely asking what I mean.

Its hard to explain as a lot of it is the tone and way she says these things. Makes me feel like im not capable of doing things. Is this behaviour patronizing do you think?

 

And condescending she seems to have a lack of respect for you and takes the piss 

[Will am I]

On 8/19/2022 at 7:02 PM, Weezy1973 said:

My wife has specific ways she wants things done, and for those chores she does them herself. She doesn’t complain at all about the things I do around the house. I actually made clear at the beginning that I wouldn’t tolerate it. And neither should you. She can either do it herself, or accept the way you do it graciously. 

This.Expect to be treated like an adult.

 

Either you ask someone to do sonething, and leave it ro them how they will accomplish the task.

Or you simply do it yourself.

Micro managing your partner on household tasks, that would be a no go area to me. 

And the passive aggressive talk “how cute you forgot that chair”, something deeper is amiss.