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Should I see him today?


GoodVibess

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We are both 22, we started dating in june. But things have been very rough. We have been constantly arguing and it’s gotten physical. A few weeks ago, he gifted me flowers I hated them they were ugly and it upset me because I specifically asked him for roses. And he didn’t care, he [called me offensive names}. I threw them at his face and he said we are over. I begged him to stay and gave him intense sex he said that would make him stay. I have mental problems which I need to get treated for, so then things were doing better but 2 nights ago I couldn’t afford dinner and he said “I am not obligated to pay for you after paying 2 days in a row. He asked me out the night before to a restaurant that I did not like and he ended up eating my taco so realistically he paid only 5 bucks for my meal. He said he felt bad so he said he would buy me jersey mikes, which is a sandwhich shop. I was angry and said NO, he [called me offensive names] then he felt bad for me so bought me mcdonald’s the meal come to $3 for nuggets and I had a coupon for free fries. He was making comments about how I was finishing the fries fast and how I should control how fast I eat. I told him to stop making comments and I had 2 nuggets left and fries and decided it was best to take my leftovers home. He saw me open the door and said “Give me your food, I paid for them so they’re mine” I said “I’m not giving you sh*t, leave me alone” He proceeded to grab my wrist and take the food from me so I threw it at his face and drove off. He threw my sunglasses at my face,  He said he will forgive me for that, but he doesn’t see his mistake. We were supposed to go on a trip tomorrow and he is begging me to go to his house today so we can “makeup” for what happened he said he cares too much about me and I am crazy and he shouldn’t have to deal with me but he does, because he cares. Any thoughts?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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breakup, get treatment for your issues. This is what being in a toxic relationship is like...it never stops until you both walk away. been there done that..I dumped my ex to escape it. 

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ExpatInItaly

You should not see him today. Or ever again. 

Kindly, you should go and see a mental health professional instead, and get counselling for whatever issues plague you. This is abusive on both sides. 

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41 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

We are both 22, we started dating in june.  We have been constantly arguing and it’s gotten physical. 

You're in an abusive situation. It would be best to go separate ways.

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4 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

He saw me open the door and said “Give me your food, I paid for them so they’re mine” I said “I’m not giving you sh*t, leave me alone” He proceeded to grab my wrist and take the food from me so I threw it at his face and drove off. He threw my sunglasses at my face

Someone is going to call the police on you two sooner or later for these outbursts and disturbances. Leave the relationship.

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the way you describe this, both of you behave absolutely awful and should not be in a relationship with each other, and possibly with anyone else until you've got your individual problems worked out.

his issues are for him to solve, but yours will be what you need to work on.

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introverted1
4 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

I have mental problems which I need to get treated for,

Focus on this.  You are not in a position to date.

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15 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

the way you describe this, both of you behave absolutely awful and should not be in a relationship with each other, and possibly with anyone else until you've got your individual problems worked out.

his issues are for him to solve, but yours will be what you need to work on.

He said he has no issues and i’m the only one to blame. He insulted me today saying if I don’t give him money he will call the cops on me. That he will press charges on me for vandalism his car the other night.

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9 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

Focus on this.  You are not in a position to date.

Yes, but I must meet him or he will get me arrested 

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27 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Someone is going to call the police on you two sooner or later for these outbursts and disturbances. Leave the relationship.

He’s calling the police on me tonight if I don’t give him the money I owe him for throwing food at him.

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introverted1
1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

Yes, but I must meet him or he will get me arrested 

 

1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

He’s calling the police on me tonight if I don’t give him the money I owe him for throwing food at him.

Either you are leaving out some major part of this story or you have a complete lack of understanding of what constitutes a crime.

The police are not going to arrest you for the $5 of food you threw at him. You can't actually believe that 2 nuggets and some fries (as per your OP) are something the police care about.

Don't make excuses for seeing him.  You need to end this "relationship" and get help for your issues.

 

Edited by introverted1
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38 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

The police are not going to arrest you for the $5 of food you threw at him. You can't actually believe that 2 nuggets and some fries (as per your OP) are something the police care about.

Yah.

I've dated men in law enforcement.

I think they'd laugh at this.

For disturbing the peace, you two could be arrested.

So stop it.

Send him a check for the chicken nuggets. 

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2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

he will call the cops on me. That he will press charges on me for vandalism his car the other night.

That he can definitely do. Stay away from him. Forget the fast food nonsense. Maybe he should press charges, that way you'll get the help you need. Alternately, call the national mental health hotline and ask for assistance. Where are your parents in all this?

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I am curious what you find appealing about him.   

You have only been dating since June, that's two months, so again I ask what is the appeal?  Why do you stay?

I don't get it, can you provide some additional context and clarity?   Is it the sex, what?

I am literally dumbfounded by this entire situation.

 

 

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You don't sound mentally stable enough to be dating at all.  Stop seeing him, stop dating, and get yourself into some intense therapy and mental health care.  Are you under the care of a psychiatrist?

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GoodVibes why do you continue to get involved in toxic relationships.

4 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

He’s calling the police on me tonight if I don’t give him the money I owe him for throwing food at him.

This is not something the police will get involved in.  Leave this guy alone, do not see him tonight and if he threatens to send the police over about some chicken mcnuggets tell him to go ahead because they'll get a good laugh.  Are you off your meds?

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ExpatInItaly
11 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

That he will press charges on me for vandalism his car the other night

Now that is something that could indeed land you in hot water with police. Did you in fact vandalize his car?

Do you have any family members around you? You sound very erratic at the moment, and it's concerning. 

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15 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

 That he will press charges on me for vandalism his car the other night.

Don't see him. May have made out the police report about the vandalism already. If you go to his house, maybe the police will be there waiting to arrest you. Not for throwing junk food around but for the vandalism.

Keep in mind anyone can report anything they want to the police. No matter how absurd or minor it is.

Call a mental health hotline. They'll be able to direct you to appropriate help including affordable clinics and other resources.

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