What is the best way to respond to a job rejection?

[seany25]

Hi everyone,

I need some help,

Over the last month or more, I have gone through 5 stages of an interview process for a remote-first company (so, all interactions were on zoom). One of the stages was a complex assessment test that I put a lot of effort into and had impressed them with.

Today I got turned down for the position.

They wrote me what feels like a sincere email, stating that it was a very difficult decision for the team but in the end, it came down to where the team currently is and the need for someone with a little more experience. They said I had made a great impression on everyone who met me.

I've had dozens and dozens of rejections since February, perhaps around 100, and I have always easily and quickly brushed it off. This one, however, has really stung me. I had become quite invested in this opportunity to the point I truly felt it was a sure thing. This was illuminated by the fact that I had received continuous and progressively positive feedback after each stage of the process that everything was looking favorable and I had impressed. And I know that's at least partly why I had become so invested in this process ending in me being hired - because I was being led to believe so.

Yet, I go and get dropped at the final hurdle. I never thought I'd feel hurt so much by a job rejection, but I guess there's a first time for everything.

They said they would love to stay connected, as everyone had agreed that as the team grows they see an opportunity for me in the future. That's all well and good, but is it normal for me to feel at this stage, unsure if I'd want to work for them after this? Like, I don't want to be your second best, you've lost me? Or, should I get over myself, sleep on it and accept that this is how it goes sometimes?

I'm literally qualified in human behavior, so I'm pretty sure some of my feelings right now are based on the freshness of my displeasure and feeling like I've been punched in the gut.

How do I best respond to the rejection email? My initial reaction was that I wanted to tell them how much I had wanted this and how terrible I feel now due to being dropped at the very last moment, but I'd prefer to somehow get this across without playing the poor me card.

I'm not one to stay down. I'm very resilient and I'll bounce back. I don't even care to ask for detailed feedback because, in my view, the rejection IS the feedback. Although there's no need in this case, they were clear - they really like me and I impressed them, but they were looking for someone with a bit more experience.

I'm feeling a little bit stubborn about it in that I don't really want to be second best and if they come back to me in the near or far future I might feel that because I wasn't wanted initially, why would I want to be there. That's probably overthinking it, though.

I'd really appreciate some words of wisdom, please.

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, seany25 said:

How do I best respond to the rejection email? My initial reaction was that I wanted to tell them how much I had wanted this and how terrible I feel now due to being dropped at the very last moment, but I'd prefer to somehow get this across without playing the poor me card.

Sorry this is happening. Your ship will come in because you have persistence. Any correspondence should be polite, professional and unemotional. Thank them for their time and consideration. You never know who may contact you in the future so never burn bridges, professionally.

[BrinnM]

16 hours ago, seany25 said:

They said they would love to stay connected, as everyone had agreed that as the team grows they see an opportunity for me in the future. That's all well and good, but is it normal for me to feel at this stage, unsure if I'd want to work for them after this? Like, I don't want to be your second best, you've lost me?

Yes, it’s normal to feel a little bit of resentment after a big disappointment like that. But don’t act impulsively! Put your emotions to the side, reply professionally, and thank them.
 

Why: 1) It’s often standard procedure for HR to offer to you as an applicant some vague, future opportunity if you are not chosen for the current job - it’s polite - Doesn’t mean they necessarily mean it. 2) IF they mean it, you don’t want to burn that bridge. If there’s another offer at some point in the future, look at it carefully. You can always say NO later. Again - Don’t burn bridges!

Job searches can be frustrating. But if you treat the search like a job itself, you’re doing yourself a favor. 

[glows]

17 hours ago, seany25 said:

Hi everyone,

I need some help,

Over the last month or more, I have gone through 5 stages of an interview process for a remote-first company (so, all interactions were on zoom). One of the stages was a complex assessment test that I put a lot of effort into and had impressed them with.

Today I got turned down for the position.

They wrote me what feels like a sincere email, stating that it was a very difficult decision for the team but in the end, it came down to where the team currently is and the need for someone with a little more experience. They said I had made a great impression on everyone who met me.

I've had dozens and dozens of rejections since February, perhaps around 100, and I have always easily and quickly brushed it off. This one, however, has really stung me. I had become quite invested in this opportunity to the point I truly felt it was a sure thing. This was illuminated by the fact that I had received continuous and progressively positive feedback after each stage of the process that everything was looking favorable and I had impressed. And I know that's at least partly why I had become so invested in this process ending in me being hired - because I was being led to believe so.

Yet, I go and get dropped at the final hurdle. I never thought I'd feel hurt so much by a job rejection, but I guess there's a first time for everything.

They said they would love to stay connected, as everyone had agreed that as the team grows they see an opportunity for me in the future. That's all well and good, but is it normal for me to feel at this stage, unsure if I'd want to work for them after this? Like, I don't want to be your second best, you've lost me? Or, should I get over myself, sleep on it and accept that this is how it goes sometimes?

I'm literally qualified in human behavior, so I'm pretty sure some of my feelings right now are based on the freshness of my displeasure and feeling like I've been punched in the gut.

How do I best respond to the rejection email? My initial reaction was that I wanted to tell them how much I had wanted this and how terrible I feel now due to being dropped at the very last moment, but I'd prefer to somehow get this across without playing the poor me card.

I'm not one to stay down. I'm very resilient and I'll bounce back. I don't even care to ask for detailed feedback because, in my view, the rejection IS the feedback. Although there's no need in this case, they were clear - they really like me and I impressed them, but they were looking for someone with a bit more experience.

I'm feeling a little bit stubborn about it in that I don't really want to be second best and if they come back to me in the near or far future I might feel that because I wasn't wanted initially, why would I want to be there. That's probably overthinking it, though.

I'd really appreciate some words of wisdom, please.

A brief thank you for their time and consideration is enough. Anything else is too much and will reflect on your ability to handle rejection and adversity. Don’t be stubborn. Pause for a moment. This may be what they mean by someone with more experience so absolutely don’t give them reason to believe you truly are so inexperienced.

You don’t know if you’ll ever be considered again as you haven’t crossed that bridge so pause on that as well. Avoid dwelling on feeling too indignant over a situation that hasn’t presented itself. 

One step at a time. You took it one step at a time getting this far, take it one step at a time overcoming this disappointment and start the search for new opportunities. Don’t hesitate to keep searching or remain paralyzed. Keep searching.

 

[R22X]

Hey Sean,

I have worked for my current employer for 2 years. They are AMAZING in every single way however I am experienced and a professional within the line of work I complete. I am so underpaid and as a young women who is looking to buy a house next year, I have had to make the hardest career choice to date and leave the company.

Over the past 4 weeks, my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I have felt dizzy, heavy and have had to lay down throughout the day. I had various interviews with business's which went fabulous, and I was still rejected. 

Only last week, I had a final interview which I didn't feel was my strongest interview, and was offered the role.

As you can imagine, I was/am so pleased, however I am trying to settle back down and bring my stress levels back after such stress of preparing for rejection, travelling and pay costs to attend interviews, waking up and trying to stay positive even when I had rejections for NO REASON whatsoever.

Looking back now, I realize that a lot of organizations will judge a person from one look and see possible threat.

I have been told to be a smart, attractive, strong young women and I feel that people within business's already know before interviewing who they want to offer and don't.

 

Before I was offered this role (which is truly amazing) I made a note in my diary and emails to say ''the right role will be offered to me, keep going until it does'' and that afternoon I was offered a job within the NHS.

What I am trying to say is, NEVER let rejection make you feel that you’re not good enough and just know that your life path is already set out for you which means you might interview for 12 months and fail but in 13 months the right role for you will be on the table.

 

Stay strong Sean and let me know if you need any interview/prep support as I am a experienced recruiter and work within this field.

Take care

 

 

Edited August 23, 2022 by Rachel22

[Brian1223]

May sound a bit Cliche' but I tend to look at rejection as redirection. However, it is very ok to feel disappointed and however you feel about the rejection. As long as you reply professionally, allow yourself to feel butt hurt. It's not easy, especially when you have invested SO much into a company with such a vigorous application process. 

Treat yourself to something nice, allow yourself to feel all the feelings of the rejection, but don't dwell on it and know, as you said, you are resilient and you will bounce back. 

And then bounce back onto the next!

good luck :) 

[ShyViolet]

Sounds like you need to keep your emotions in check.... this is not a romantic rejection, it is business.  There is reason to believe you still have a chance at being hired in this company in the future if another position should open up.  If you would like to work for this company, don't burn any bridges.  Don't send them an overly emotional email about how you felt rejected.  That is so inappropriate in this context.  Stay professional and keep the lines of communication open.  If another position opens up, apply for it and they just might decide to hire you next time.  Who cares if you were "second best"?  This is a job, it's not personal.