It frustrates me that people think you have to be pretty to get a boyfriend?

[Igoo]

It frustrates me that people think you have to be pretty to get a boyfriend

[Weezy1973]

Nobody thinks that, unless they’re really immature. You also don’t need to be good looking or rich to have a girlfriend. 

[BrinnM]

I mean - it is shallow, and it would be nice if OP were wrong, and it would be nice if people thought differently, but really it already starts in junior high/Highschool, where girls and boys have to “fulfill” certain requirements/roles to (be popular &) get a BF/GF (and IMO they shouldn’t date at all under a certain age anyways; but I’m observing teenagers these days, and it’s quite blatant) - girls are expected to be tall and thin, boys are expected to be athletic (& smart) ….. I mean schools (in the U.S.) even do the dreaded prom king and queen and homecoming Queen stuff …. It’s kind of ingrained in the culture here. I’ve never been able to understand this. And parents (my friends with teens) support this, too. They spend up to 1K in a homecoming dress that will never be worn again. (And those heels OMG; flabbergasting) - I’m just shaking my head, but it’s expected. And that’s where the mindset of “girls have to be pretty” is originating  from. I mean, you grow up like this, how will you ever naturally outgrow this mindset? It’s sad really. 
May be different in other cultures. 

Edited August 20, 2022 by BrinnM

[glows]

5 hours ago, Igoo said:

It frustrates me that people think you have to be pretty to get a boyfriend

Ignore what shallow people think. Birds of a feather.

[Igoo]

4 hours ago, BrinnM said:

I mean - it is shallow, and it would be nice if OP were wrong, and it would be nice if people thought differently, but really it already starts in junior high/Highschool, where girls and boys have to “fulfill” certain requirements/roles to (be popular &) get a BF/GF (and IMO they shouldn’t date at all under a certain age anyways; but I’m observing teenagers these days, and it’s quite blatant) - girls are expected to be tall and thin, boys are expected to be athletic (& smart) ….. I mean schools (in the U.S.) even do the dreaded prom king and queen and homecoming Queen stuff …. It’s kind of ingrained in the culture here. I’ve never been able to understand this. And parents (my friends with teens) support this, too. They spend up to 1K in a homecoming dress that will never be worn again. (And those heels OMG; flabbergasting) - I’m just shaking my head, but it’s expected. And that’s where the mindset of “girls have to be pretty” is originating  from. I mean, you grow up like this, how will you ever naturally outgrow this mindset? It’s sad really. 
May be different in other cultures. 

It frustrates me that it mean that I might never find a boyfriend.

[Igoo]

4 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

Nobody thinks that, unless they’re really immature. You also don’t need to be good looking or rich to have a girlfriend. 

I'm a woman

[Igoo]

2 hours ago, glows said:

Ignore what shallow people think. Birds of a feather.

It frustrates me that it means I might never find a never find a boyfriend.

[Weezy1973]

5 minutes ago, Igoo said:

I'm a woman

Yes I know. I’m just saying it isn’t true both ways. Look around. You’ll see couples all across the attractiveness spectrum. That’s reality. 

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, Igoo said:

It frustrates me that it means I might never find a never find a boyfriend.

How old are you? What exactly do you mean by "not pretty"? There's a lot your friends and family could help you with such as fitness, health, clothing styles, hairstyles, makeup, etc. Make sure you're not comparing yourself to social media images.

Edited August 20, 2022 by Wiseman2

[stillafool]

Well if you watch tv and see wedding shows like, "Say yes to the dress" and "Four Weddings" and other similar shows you will see that you in fact do not have to be pretty to get married.

[stillafool]

56 minutes ago, Igoo said:

I'm a woman

Yes he knows this he was just pointing out that  guys don't have to be good looking either to get a mate.

[Alvi]

Go to your local mall and observe some copulas.  And I can guarantee that you are going to see all sorts of people coupled. Some are going to very attractive and some not so much. Fat, skinny, athletic, average. You are going to see women shapes and sizes, hairstyles and wardrobe choices that have a BFs or  husbands. If they could manage to find someone to date them, pretty sure you can too. So no, not only attractive people can get a partner. This statement is incorrect. I work with a lot of overweight, below the average looking women in my workplace. And they are all married. One is actually  on her second marriage. Her husband is a very good looking fit gentleman. How did that happen?

 

Edited August 21, 2022 by Alvi

[Foxhall]

There is a certain responsibility on yourself also to make yourself as "pretty " as possible,

I think especially for a young girl, she should not let herself get out of shape,

she should pride herself to keep herself in good shape and to look pretty and smart,

She should drink up to three litres of water per day, watch her diet ,eating at least most of the time healthy food, cut out candy and sweet treats,

She should use nice moisturising creams and exercise every day,

all these kids that are popular, ultimately behind the scenes they are working on producing the best side of themselves to the world, many of them are unsure of themselves too, but they are challenging themselves and fighting to portray the best image of themselves

If you dont take pride in yourself and your appearance as a teenager, it can be difficult to change that mindset then as you grow older,

so Id say work on getting yourself as fit and healthy as possible, its easy to say your not pretty and get lazy,

but that will do you no favours in the long run,  your as pretty as anyone else but it also takes effort and desire to bring that to the surface,

 

 

[Els]

You need to be attractive to the other person, no doubt. And this goes for everyone of every gender in this day and age - men can't really coast along relying on the fact that women need them for financial reasons any longer. But definitions of the term "attractive" vary based on the person and their preferences. If you want a large quantity of admirers, then I suppose you do have to be conventionally pretty/handsome, but if you just want one partner who loves you, there isn't really a need.

That being said, it's always a good idea to maintain hygiene and health, but that's very different from spending 60 minutes a day on makeup and hairstyling (or conversely, for men, on bulking up).

[glows]

19 hours ago, Igoo said:

It frustrates me that it means I might never find a never find a boyfriend.

Not such a bad thing. You’re not missing out on a lot as the majority of connections and dates are superficial or non-matches. Looking at the glass half full here, you’re probably at an advantage seeing someone who likes you deeper than skin deep. Try not to let this bother you. Focus on your other attributes and boost your confidence in other ways. 

Edited August 21, 2022 by glows

[Igoo]

4 hours ago, glows said:

Not such a bad thing. You’re not missing out on a lot as the majority of connections and dates are superficial or non-matches. Looking at the glass half full here, you’re probably at an advantage seeing someone who likes you deeper than skin deep. Try not to let this bother you. Focus on your other attributes and boost your confidence in other ways. 

But I want a boyfriend.

[BrinnM]

5 minutes ago, Igoo said:

But I want a boyfriend.

Is anybody keeping you from looking for one?? Are you old enough to OLD? There’s a lid to every pot. General rule: Men and women tend to date at the same level of physical attractiveness. I’m assuming you’re not gay, and - disclaimer - I don’t know if this general rule of thumb applies to gay people. But if you try to look your best, and if you dress properly, and if you’re pleasant and fun to be around - I’m sure there will be somebody somewhere at some point. 

[stillafool]

20 minutes ago, Igoo said:

But I want a boyfriend.

So get one.  There's a guy for every woman and vice versa.  Personality is just as important to attracting a mate as looks.  A good personality can increase the physical attractiveness of a person so be sure to work on that too.  Everyone can do that for themselves.

Edited August 21, 2022 by stillafool

[Wiseman2]

24 minutes ago, Igoo said:

But I want a boyfriend.

It depends how old you are. Are you in highschool? College? Live at home? Work? Join some clubs and groups and sports. Get used to talking to boys. Take some extra  classes and courses. Be approachable. No boy wants to date a girl he can't even talk to.

Get to a dentist for a teeth cleaning. If you wear glasses, get a cool style or contacts. Go to a physician for a check up. Get tests done. If there are issues with skin, acne etc., there's treatment for that. Are you fit? If not, work on that. Make sure your nutrition and activity level is healthy. Go to a salon and get a nice hairstyle. Go to the store and buy some fashionable flattering clothes.

Anyone can be pretty, whatever that means  to you. However when you are confident and approachable ,smile say hi to people, others will perceive you as pretty.

[Igoo]

12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

It depends how old you are. Are you in highschool? College? Live at home? Work? Join some clubs and groups and sports. Get used to talking to boys. Take some extra  classes and courses. Be approachable. No boy wants to date a girl he can't even talk to.

Get to a dentist for a teeth cleaning. If you wear glasses, get a cool style or contacts. Go to a physician for a check up. Get tests done. If there are issues with skin, acne etc., there's treatment for that. Are you fit? If not, work on that. Make sure your nutrition and activity level is healthy. Go to a salon and get a nice hairstyle. Go to the store and buy some fashionable flattering clothes.

Anyone can be pretty, whatever that means  to you. However when you are confident and approachable ,smile say hi to people, others will perceive you as pretty.

 

It frustrates me that this might not be true.

Edited August 22, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
formatting

[stillafool]

11 hours ago, Igoo said:

It frustrates me that this might not be true.

Well you'll never know if you don't try.  I wouldn't say that everyone can be pretty but everyone can be attractive on hygene alone.  The bottom line here is everyone can get a partner.  Your idea of "ugly" is not everyone elses the same as your idea of "pretty" isn't everyone elses.  

Have you ever been on a date or found a guy you like?

[flitzanu]

there's tons of guys and girls out there that are not pretty and dating, and ones that are pretty that aren't dating.

 

[Igoo]

11 hours ago, stillafool said:

Well you'll never know if you don't try.  I wouldn't say that everyone can be pretty but everyone can be attractive on hygene alone.  The bottom line here is everyone can get a partner.  Your idea of "ugly" is not everyone elses the same as your idea of "pretty" isn't everyone elses.  

Have you ever been on a date or found a guy you like?

If I try it better work or I'll be mad.

[Igoo]

12 hours ago, stillafool said:

Well you'll never know if you don't try.  I wouldn't say that everyone can be pretty but everyone can be attractive on hygene alone.  The bottom line here is everyone can get a partner.  Your idea of "ugly" is not everyone elses the same as your idea of "pretty" isn't everyone elses.  

Have you ever been on a date or found a guy you like?

No I haven't be on one.

[Lisa]

This thread has been closed.  You've all given @Igoo much to think about, however the thread is not progressing.  Thank you all for your input.