poppyfields Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 (edited) OP, not accusing you of anything but if I may ask - are you this other woman and you're wanting to know why he continues to have sex with all these other women while appearing to be interested in you? It's a fair question and again not accusing you, just something I'm wondering since you know so many intricate details of his interactions with this other woman (i.e how he looks into her eyes, up and down, etc). Things an outside party wouldn't know. Is this orher woman you? Absolutely no judgment, I'm simply asking the question. Edited August 21, 2022 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 19 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: He can take or leave you and your friends. It's easy for him....so much so that he additionally disrespected you by getting together with your friends while on a trip with YOU. After repeatedly allowing this stuff for a long time, if you disappeared tomorrow, he'd probably think "no big deal" and move onto other girls (for both a similar FWB relationship where he does as he wants or perhaps even fall for some girl who values herself higher than she values him like the one you are asking about. If you aren't real equals or more likely "his better", he's not going to see you with the mind for a real relationship. Whereas the girl you are asking about said immediately to him essentially: "we need to do things my way or where I have trust that you like me for me, otherwise I'm not interested" (also messaging that not only is she BETTER than him but she will have other choices easily in the future! ironically much as he messages his value to you and your other FWB friends via his actions)...it's implicated that this is the negotiation..if you aren't willing to invest in me for a relationship, I'm not interested, ie more on her terms, whereas the rest of you are puppy-dogging around after him on only HIS terms (low value, low self-esteem b.s and conveys that there isn't much value to be had with you guys). It's sort of econ 101. What is scarce is valued, what is easy to get is not valued. In terms of humans, how you project your value and manage it affects how others will treat you and subsequently value you. Guy sort of sounds like a jerk--who is completely getting away with his stuff--on one count I totally agree with him though: why in the world should he change his WhatsApp photo to some random hookups instead of just himself? First off, just no...and Second off, that sends a message to whomever else he is hooking up with and talking to that he's all over the place with randoms, which makes drama for him potentially, makes it less easy for him to hookup with others and perhaps even turns off the girl he really likes (emotionally...the one he cannot easily get). So what hes still not being with her?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 16 minutes ago, poppyfields said: OP, not accusing you of anything but if I may ask - are you this other woman and you're wanting to know why he continues to have sex with all these other women while appearing to be interested in you? It's a fair question and again not accusing you, just something I'm wondering since you know so many intricate details of his interactions with this other woman (i.e how he looks into her eyes, up and down, etc). Things an outside party wouldn't know. Is this orher woman you? Absolutely no judgment, I'm simply asking the question. Already wrote we have a mutual friend who goes with him to the same uni Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 26 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Why do you keep harping on this? He needs sex, which you and others easily provide. It means nothing to him but getting his rocks off. Again, because this girl values and respects herself more than being a casual hookup like you and the other girls, she intrigues him, and he values her, respects her. Which causes him to behave differently with her. I'm not sure why you're unable to grasp this, unless you believe when a man has easy casual sex with you, it means he likes you, values you and respects you. It doesn't, it's often the opposite. If you want a relationship with a man, stop leading with your sexuality, believing good sex will win his heart. It won't, ask any man. Yes he will keep you around, you fulfill his sexual needs but doubtful it will ever go beyond that. I'm sorry. Ummm i doubt it because i think its just to do with ego Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 2 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Already wrote we have a mutual friend who goes with him to the same uni But the way you describe every little detail of her day what does he do, follow her around all day. It doesn't make sense that anyone would know this much about someone unless they are following them all the time. 3 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Ummm i doubt it because i think its just to do with ego Well if you are sure of this why are you on LS? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 1 minute ago, stillafool said: But the way you describe every little detail of her day what does he do, follow her around all day. It doesn't make sense that anyone would know this much about someone unless they are following them all the time. Well if you are sure of this why are you on LS? Its just 2 days . Where i asked him to stalk him and see how he behaves Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Ummm i doubt it because i think its just to do with ego That's certainly part of it, for sure! But if it were just ego, common sense would suggest he would have moved on by now. But who the hell knows? Does it matter? Why do you care so much? He's a hook up, an FWB. I'm unclear why how he treats HER matters or bothers you so much. So much so you asked your mutual friend to stalk him? SMH, sorry. Edited August 21, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 2 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Its just 2 days . Where i asked him to stalk him and see how he behaves And she's close enough to him to see where exactly his eyes land on her? That doesn't add up. This whole story is pretty familiar, I must say. I am sure I have read a version of this before. Whatever the case, he sounds like weirdo. I would not give him the time of day, and focus on men who behave like men and not strange boys. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: That's certainly part of it, for sure! But if it were just ego, common sense would suggest he would have moved on by now. But who the hell knows? Does it matter? Why do you care so much? He's a hook up, an FWB. I'm unclear why how he treats HER matters or bothers you so much. So much so you asked your mutual friend to stalk him? SMH, sorry. Could you just explain if he liked her genuinely he wouldnt be sleeping around?? Like i wrote he didnt even tell her he was in a hot tub with us Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 Just now, ExpatInItaly said: And she's close enough to him to see where exactly his eyes land on her? That doesn't add up. This whole story is pretty familiar, I must say. I am sure I have read a version of this before. Whatever the case, he sounds like weirdo. I would not give him the time of day, and focus on men who behave like men and not strange boys. He not she. Please stop assuming things Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 Just now, chicksinacup said: Could you just explain if he liked her genuinely he wouldnt be sleeping around?? Like i wrote he didnt even tell her he was in a hot tub with us He doesn't genuinely like any of you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 5 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Its just 2 days . Where i asked him to stalk him and see how he behaves Well with all the info he gave you in his report I hope you paid him well. He should go into the P.I. business. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 1 minute ago, chicksinacup said: He not she. Please stop assuming things He, she...it's irrelevant. My point stands. It just isn't plausible that this friend is watching someone else that closely that he or she can follow his eyes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 3 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Like i wrote he didnt even tell her he was in a hot tub with us Why would he tell her that and take the risk of her seeing how sleasy he is? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 8 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why would he tell her that and take the risk of her seeing how sleasy he is? Because he told her he saw his parents, friends etc but omitted this completely Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: He, she...it's irrelevant. My point stands. It just isn't plausible that this friend is watching someone else that closely that he or she can follow his eyes. Yeah people stay with eyes closed when standing next to each other Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 14 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why would he tell her that and take the risk of her seeing how sleasy he is? Also because thats how he truly is. He cant even be himself around her? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Because he told her he saw his parents, friends etc but omitted this completely I'm unclear how your mutual friend would know what he didn't tell her. How is this possible? He would have had to tape record her conversations 24/7 for him to know what someone (your FWB) didn't tell her. Doesn't matter, gotta run, hope you can figure this out OP. Ciao. Edited August 21, 2022 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: I'm unclear how your mutual friend would know what he didn't tell her. How is this possible? He would have had to tape record her conversations 24/7 for him to know what someone (him) didn't tell her. Doesn't matter, gotta run, hope you can figure this out OP. Ciao. Lol When people stand next to each other they cant hear what the others are saying? Lmao Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicksinacup Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 25 minutes ago, stillafool said: Well with all the info he gave you in his report I hope you paid him well. He should go into the P.I. business. He also takes pics for me so this is nothing Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 34 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: This whole story is pretty familiar, I must say. I am sure I have read a version of this before. I was about to ask -- OP, have you posted before under a different username? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 23 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Because he told her he saw his parents, friends etc but omitted this completely And now you know why. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 2 hours ago, chicksinacup said: Hes after the girl for 10 months not me Ok, your solution is to disassociate with both or all of these people. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 7 minutes ago, IrinaM said: I was about to ask -- OP, have you posted before under a different username? I am quite sure she has. The details are all sounding very familiar. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 15 minutes ago, chicksinacup said: Lol When people stand next to each other they cant hear what the others are saying? Lmao No because she would see that he is eavesdropping and move away. Only an idiot would do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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