Restarting with extended family

[Lovely Difficulties]

I have never been close with my extended family, and I'm not sure what happened. It started in childhood when I was excluded from gatherings with my cousins. My cousin's mom would even tell my mom to not bring me to certain events, and my cousin would be there with another group of friends. We were actually the same age and graduated together, but you wouldn't know we were family. I have not a single memory with them from my high school or college years. It felt that for whatever reason, my cousin's mom didn't want us to be friends. I ended up establishing my own friends over the years, as did my cousins, and years have passed, and we have no contact. Now that we are adults, there are occasional family gatherings where we run into each other, and I don't know where to begin. There's this awkwardness of not knowing what to say, and there's a part of me that continues to not understand why I wasn't fully accepted by my extended family. Any suggestions?    

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, ClassySassy said:

There's this awkwardness of not knowing what to say, and there's a part of me that continues to not understand why I wasn't fully accepted by my extended family. Any suggestions? 

Did you ask your mother why you weren't welcomed around your cousins?

[Lovely Difficulties]

I was told that my mom was bothered by it as well and that my cousin’s mom felt that she was better than us. Now, my cousin’s mom will at least smile at me when I see her once every so often at a reunion. 

[basil67]

I suggest you introduce yourself as you would with anyone else who is an acquaintance.  "Hi, I'm ClassySassy.  I thought it would be nice to meet you"

[Lovely Difficulties]

I could do that, but it’s obvious that they already know who I am. More so, maybe I just need closure as to why the family disliked me to the point of exclusion when we were growing up. Nothing happened to have caused that.

[ClearEyes-FullHeart]

Why not suggest going for coffee or having lunch, and just try to start a building the relationship? Perhaps your cousin would also like that. The only downside I can see, based on what you have shared, is that the cousin declines or ignores the invitation. That would sting no doubt but it isn’t a reflection on you as they don’t know you. 

I’d try to shake the idea that they feel you are not good enough. It’s easy for “family lore” or past strangeness to build up and seem like something major for no reason. Best of luck.