rude friend

[Erica_2]

Hi,

so I have this friend “eve” who I’ve known since I was around 7 years old, we’re now 32. We have formed a little group consisting of us two, her cousin a friend of eves from work. 
 

We used to meet up often, things have changed slightly the last year as I took on a full time job and eve met a new partner. I am trying my best to keep in touch with the group, it seems like our group chat is now non existent and that things are planned and then I hear about it later. 
 

Anyway, I met Eve yesterday and although I am used to her being a gossip, I was still surprised. She spent a lot of time taking about our friend she has from work. We have an event coming up a hen party and eve said how “scruffy and unkempt” the party is, and how scruffy our friends sister is. Basically talking junk about the friend in our group.

 

Yet eve will invite her places and they often seem close. Eve sometimes fails to grasp the basics in a friendship and i wouldn’t be surprised if she also slags me off. It just saddens me that we can’t have a girl group that is genuine, no one is left out or talked about and the dynamics don’t change for no reason at all. 
 

I guess I’m just venting as eve just doesn’t seem to grow up and stop talking sh*t about her “friends”

Edited August 22, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Wiseman2]

19 minutes ago, Erica_2 said:

I guess I’m just venting as eve just doesn’t seem to grow up and stop talking sh*t about her “friends”

If she starts talking trash about people in the friend group, just change the subject/cut the conversation short. Unfortunately, at this age she's not going to change.

[stillafool]

I agree with Wiseman or say, "Wow Eve, I wonder what you say about me when I'm not around?"  That will stop her in her tracks and let her know it's not cool.

[Erica_2]

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

If she starts talking trash about people in the friend group, just change the subject/cut the conversation short. Unfortunately, at this age she's not going to change.

That’s going to be my tactic now. She also suggested that we go to the hen party for our friends Suzy’s sake ) then text her cousin to say “Erica said we should go for Suzy” when I didn’t, she suggested it! It also worries me how she exaggerates and twists things. 

Edited August 22, 2022 by Erica_2

[stillafool]

First off the name "Hen Party" sounds like a gossip fest.  You guys need to change the name.  

1 hour ago, Erica_2 said:

then text her cousin to say “Erica said we should go for Suzy” when I didn’t, she suggested it! It also worries me how she exaggerates and twists things. 

And what was your response to her when she said that?

[Erica_2]

9 hours ago, stillafool said:

First off the name "Hen Party" sounds like a gossip fest.  You guys need to change the name.  

And what was your response to her when she said that?

A “hen party” is the traditional name for bridal party on the uk ☺️

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Erica_2 said:

A “hen party” is the traditional name for bridal party on the uk ☺️

Same for in Australia. 

[Wiseman2]

13 hours ago, Erica_2 said:

 It also worries me how she exaggerates and twists things. 

Friends like this are a reason to pause. That's because whatever trash she talks about whoever, she's probably talking to whoever about you.

The best way to avoid this is to distance yourself. Be cautioned about how much you share with such a person.

[BrinnM]

Yes, we’ve probably all had a “friend” like this. As stated above - if she smack-talks others in front of you, she 100 % talks about you behind your back to others as well. 

[stillafool]

People need to call out friends like this and let them know it's not cool rather than accepting it and being angry in silence.