Weekend of Love?

[Otter2569]

I recently met and hit it off with a woman who travels internationally for work.  My son (20 y/o) and I are planning a trip together that purely by luck coincides with her business trip and is reasonably close by.  We (her and I) are talking about extending our trips and spending the weekend together in Paris.  What could be more romantic?!   When I told my son of our plans he thought that the 3 of us would be going and got all excited.  I told my son nicely this was adult time for us to which he replied 'i will just go by myself to Paris, its no big deal".

We both have kids at home so we rarely get more than a day a week alone forget that this is a once in a lifetime experience.  How do I or should I tell my son this is adult time?  How do i tell her that my son is now coming?   What once looked amazing is now stressful and anything but a dream weekend of romance.

PS our 10 day vacation ends the same day as her business trip. My plan was to get my son on the plane home then catch my flight to meet her.

Edited August 23, 2022 by Otter2569

[ShyViolet]

This sounds like a poorly thought out idea.  This is supposed to be your vacation with your son.  Now you want to send your son home by himself at the end of the vacation so you can run off to Paris with a woman you just met.  I can see how this would make your son feel very weird.  If you want to go on a trip with this new woman, plan a separate trip with her and don't mix it up with your vacation with your son.

[basil67]

I agree that it's not great timing.  While I know it's not your intention, to him it would very much feel like he's being dumped.   It would be so much nicer if you could time it so that your vacation with the woman you're interested in is completely separate to the one with your son. 

As exciting as the prospect is (and disappointing to have it get complicated), I highly doubt it's a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity.   While it would take a bit of planning, you can make it happen in future.  You don't mention the age of your other children, but your 20yo is old enough to stay on his own while you go overseas.  How old are the younger kids?  If they are too young, can you go on holidays while they are with their mother? Or stay with cousins?    What's the situation with her children?  Are they old enough to care for themselves?  Or have someone who could help out?  

[ExpatInItaly]

I think you would be wise to plan a different trip with this woman. 

Don't tack it on the end of the holiday with your son. He's already feeling offloaded. Heed that and choose a different time with your new crush. A "weekend of love" sounds romantic, but keep in mind it's also impulsive and not good timing here. 

Edited August 23, 2022 by ExpatInItaly

[Otter2569]

7 hours ago, basil67 said:

I agree that it's not great timing.  While I know it's not your intention, to him it would very much feel like he's being dumped.   It would be so much nicer if you could time it so that your vacation with the woman you're interested in is completely separate to the one with your son. 

As exciting as the prospect is (and disappointing to have it get complicated), I highly doubt it's a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity.   While it would take a bit of planning, you can make it happen in future.  You don't mention the age of your other children, but your 20yo is old enough to stay on his own while you go overseas.  How old are the younger kids?  If they are too young, can you go on holidays while they are with their mother? Or stay with cousins?    What's the situation with her children?  Are they old enough to care for themselves?  Or have someone who could help out?  

The timing just happened to coincide that both my vacation and her business trip end on the same day so the transition was feeling really good until reality set in.  All of our kids are older with some being out of the house.  My 20 y/o being the youngest.

Spending 10 days with my son then spinning off for 4 days with her didnt seem unreasonable at the time.  I agree that making this two separate trips is a better way to go.

 

[alphamale]

This is a disaster waiting to happen Otter 🦦 

[Alvi]

Otter, it seems like you have zero problem attracting women and getting to date them. According to your posts, women come and go out of your life. Pretty sure there are going to be other opportunities with this particular woman or another one. But your kids are always going to be there so you need to put them ahead of a "weekend of love." Stick to your commitment to your son.

[smackie9]

It's nice that your 20 yr old has interest in going on this trip with you. There might be a day when it will no longer be cool to "hangout with dad". Otter, women will come and go, but time with your son is precious.