No kiss at end of 2nd date. Is she interested romantically?

[glows]

On 8/29/2022 at 6:43 PM, max3732 said:

My first attempt at a relationship I got friendzoned and then got friendzoned in several others after so I'm rather anxious about it still.

This one lives 45 minutes away. There is another one I'm still in touch with who lives 1.5 hours away. It's only 45 minutes with no traffic. When there's traffic it can be more like 1.5 hours. I'd hope she'd be willing come down to my area or meet where I'm driving 20 minutes. 

The distance definitely puts pressure with both of them.

I did very briefly have my hand brush against hers, but didn't actually try to hold it. I also went to show her something at the table and "accidentially" brushed against her hand.

There were a lot of things I liked about this one. We have similar education backgrounds, political values, interests, goals for the relationship and I think she's cute. She's also in the age range I wanted to find and just really enjoyed our conversation and can see lots of opportunities to keep learning more about her.

On the other hand she is much more analytical than me (and I can be pretty analytical) and I'm not sure if she can be as silly as I like from women. I like the fact she's very straight forward and opinionated, but wonder if we'd get into heated arguments if we didn't share the same opinion where she thinks she's always right.

What I really liked about the conversation was we talked about deep beliefs and views of the world and we're on the same page there. It was just very refreshing that I felt like we were both connecting on things that matter. With some of my other dates we connected over food or movies or things like that.

You’re picking someone who matches your values and beliefs, has somewhat similar goals even if they’re not exactly the same. How you spend your time matters, what drives the both of you matters, your priorities, interests etc. I see you’re looking at how someone complements you personality-wise but once you match on a deeper level these personality traits fall into the background. A person may be giggly or silly but if she doesn’t share your outlook or intentions for the future or appears to lack any depth or experience, the relationship may grow stale. Hopefully you’re able to learn more about the two you’re seeing. 

[mortensorchid]

Communication is the key to everything in life.  If you want to see her again - or even if you don't - then TELL HER YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN AND THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED.  It's important if you do or don't want things to go any further. 

[max3732]

7 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

Communication is the key to everything in life.  If you want to see her again - or even if you don't - then TELL HER YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN AND THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED.  It's important if you do or don't want things to go any further. 

I've communicated that to both of them. Now that I really think about it I think I have more in common with the 2nd one (who I've gone on 1 date with), but still enjoy the 1st one (2 dates with). They have very different personalities and interests, but are both great.

Something else they have in common is both said they want to get together but are traveling or otherwise busy over the long weekend

[Amanda92]

How is it now?

[max3732]

5 hours ago, Amanda92 said:

How is it now?

The one who lives further away who didn't kiss me is getting back this week.

The one I liked even more who did kiss me is still traveling (I can see on the dating app).

Now there's another woman I met who lives a little further than the 2nd one (so about 1 hr, 15 min) who I'm going on a 2nd date with this weekend

[Will am I]

13 minutes ago, max3732 said:

The one I liked even more who did kiss me is still traveling (I can see on the dating app).

How does that work? The app allows you to follow her location? (sounds scary) 

Or is she sending out signals on the app that she’s looking to date in another location?

 

 

[max3732]

6 minutes ago, Will am I said:

How does that work? The app allows you to follow her location? (sounds scary) 

Or is she sending out signals on the app that she’s looking to date in another location?

 

 

The app allows you to follow her location. Not like her exact address, but it says the general area and how many miles away. Normally the only times I've used it are (1) to see how close matches are when I first view their profile (2) when we're meeting for a date after I've arrived I can see if their close. Sometimes I'll use it like with now to see if she's still in my general area or traveling. Lots of times women have stopped responding and I see they've changed their location to another city and moved.

Could definitely be scary if you had a stalker or something.

[Amanda92]

On 9/20/2022 at 8:37 PM, Will am I said:

How does that work? The app allows you to follow her location? (sounds scary) 

Or is she sending out signals on the app that she’s looking to date in another location?

 

 

Yes. Bumble shows if someone is one or more miles apart and what city.

[Wiseman2]

Geodating is a thing now.  It originated in hookups apps to find readily available nearby people to hook up with. However now it's standard on many apps. 

Unfortunately it has some drawbacks. Of course it can be turned off and she's naive to leave it on when apps can simply state whatever your current city area is.

Edited September 24, 2022 by Wiseman2

[max3732]

On 9/24/2022 at 5:36 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Geodating is a thing now.  It originated in hookups apps to find readily available nearby people to hook up with. However now it's standard on many apps. 

Unfortunately it has some drawbacks. Of course it can be turned off and she's naive to leave it on when apps can simply state whatever your current city area is.

I've been checking every day and noticed she is back home now. Figure I will give her a few days to settle in and then send 1 more message asking if she'd be available on such and such date for the activity we talked about before. If she ignores that I won't send anything else.

Out of the last 3 women I've gone out with I liked her the most 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, max3732 said:

Figure I will give her a few days to settle in and then send 1 more message asking if she'd be available on such and such date for the activity we talked about before.

You don't seem interested at all if you have to wait "days" to contact her and only suggest a specific date and time (which is way too rigid) . Just don't bother with women that you're not interested  rather than shooting yourself in the foot with waiting games and  this date/time rigid suggestions.

[max3732]

27 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You don't seem interested at all if you have to wait "days" to contact her and only suggest a specific date and time (which is way too rigid) . Just don't bother with women that you're not interested  rather than shooting yourself in the foot with waiting games and  this date/time rigid suggestions.

Well I sent her a message already as she was leaving for her trip and she didn't reply to that. What kind of message would you suggest that I send? Maybe something like "Would you like to get together for X soon like we had talked about? Maybe sometime next week?"

I don't want to tell her I've been checking her profile daily to see when she returned.

[Hopeful30]

On 8/24/2022 at 4:08 PM, max3732 said:

Met someone for lunch halfway who lives 1.5 hours away. Thought it went really well and she asked if we could stay longer and I agreed. After that I invited her out again and she said she was traveling and would like to do it another time. Less than a week later she says she's back and is interested in taking me up on my offer for a 2nd date and we again met halfway for lunch and a walk.

During this date she said she was cold and I put my arm on her shoulder and said I'd warm her up. At the end of the date she said she'd want to meet up again and I got her number (we were talking on the dating app before). I went for kiss and got her cheek.

Driving 45 minutes+ is a bit of a commitment, which I wouldn't mind if I knew she was interested romantically. Would she agree to keep seeing me if she wasn't interested? By the 2nd date wouldn't most women be ok with a little kiss at the end?

What do you think I should do?

I've got a date with another woman this weekend and am trying learn from these experiences. 

I'm one of these women who, even if interested romantically, will not kiss on a second date. It takes a lot for me to feel comfortable and open enough to get physically intimate with a guy, even when I genuinely like him. Considering she was comfortable with your arm around her and she seems enthusiastic about seeing you, I would say she is interested. Most likely your speed is faster than hers.