Dating Struggles

[Clarity1]

Hi guys, I have been doing a lot of reading on the subject of dating and I am very interested to know other people's opinions on this.

What would you say is the most difficult part of meeting someone new or finding a partner in the modern age?

[Jtomzs]

Just jump and go for it. It’s all online. Forget meeting people in the traditional way. It rarely happens. I think it always came easy to people like myself who are very outgoing. I loved meeting new people others find it scary. Expect rejection but don’t let it get you down & prevent you from moving forward, you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Move on. Especially in the modern world of dating it’s all online. It’s easy to reject/ghost you’re behind a screen! Just don’t take it to heart. But you’ll find the right person eventually. It may just take a few frogs 😊

[alphamale]

1 hour ago, Jtomzs said:

Just jump and go for it. It’s all online. Forget meeting people in the traditional way. It rarely happens. 

What do you mean it rarely happens! I meet ppl IRL all the time. Younger ppl have lost their social skills due to so much screen time.

[Weezy1973]

11 hours ago, Clarity1 said:

What would you say is the most difficult part of meeting someone new or finding a partner in the modern age?

I had a lot of luck with online dating as well as met a lot of my ex’s in real life. Through work, school, social circle etc. Meeting people was never hard. Finding a long term partner was more difficult, but most of that was my own doing. Once I figured out what I wanted, it literally took about two months to meet someone, who I’m now married to. 
 

Most people who really struggle with dating and relationships have other issues that make it harder to connect. A rough family life; being on the autism spectrum; some sort of mental illness; trauma etc. Remember that the majority of adults are married. And of those that aren’t, the majority or in a relationship. Folks that struggle usually have something else going on making it more difficult.

[chillii]

After marriage , l never really dated as such no need l know what l like , but l did meet women and stuff of course just never wasted my time bc none of them were for me anyway so no point. Eventually l did meet my partner now and with her l did know and it just took off from there. l met a few people in RL and also tried a bit of online , that actually wasn't too bad the hard part was more about just even coming across that right person on it , there was only 2 or 3 l was interested enough in to even bother contacting in the first place, one of them was my partner now.

No right or wrongs imo, if you have a social life and friends or get out and about you may come across the right person imo the old ways were better but you can also have look about online too if you like, nothing to lose.

Edited August 25, 2022 by chillii

[Clarity1]

13 hours ago, alphamale said:

What do you mean it rarely happens! I meet ppl IRL all the time. Younger ppl have lost their social skills due to so much screen time.

Do you actively go out, or make sure you go to high social areas?

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Clarity1 said:

Do you actively go out, or make sure you go to high social areas?

What are "high social areas"?

 Having a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and talking to and meeting women is not mutually exclusive with meeting women other ways. You should be doing both.

One way not to meet women is through pickup artist tactics like collecting phone numbers in "target rich" environments or randomly approaching women.

Improve and broaden your social circles through groups clubs classes courses volunteering etc. Talk to women there on a regular basis.

[alphamale]

5 hours ago, Clarity1 said:

Do you actively go out, or make sure you go to high social areas?

Both

[ZA Dater]

On 8/25/2022 at 8:34 PM, Weezy1973 said:

I had a lot of luck with online dating as well as met a lot of my ex’s in real life. Through work, school, social circle etc. Meeting people was never hard. Finding a long term partner was more difficult, but most of that was my own doing. Once I figured out what I wanted, it literally took about two months to meet someone, who I’m now married to. 
 

Most people who really struggle with dating and relationships have other issues that make it harder to connect. A rough family life; being on the autism spectrum; some sort of mental illness; trauma etc. Remember that the majority of adults are married. And of those that aren’t, the majority or in a relationship. Folks that struggle usually have something else going on making it more difficult.

On balance I would say this is true but the reasons for it are numerous but also there would be an entire group who simply never find what they are looking for. Because one looks does not mean one will find. I do think people who try to start dating later in life have a significant disadvantage in the fact they struggle to attract people and read people. 

My unpopular opinion is the more superficial attributes you have the easier dating is. Yes, people will say its about personality but is it really? 

I think people also struggle because they over think it.

[Weezy1973]

On 8/31/2022 at 3:49 AM, ZA Dater said:

My unpopular opinion is the more superficial attributes you have the easier dating is.

It depends on what the goal is for dating. If it’s just getting dates and sex, then I’d agree. If it’s dating for the purpose of entering a relationship, then superficial traits don’t matter. 

 

On 8/31/2022 at 3:49 AM, ZA Dater said:

Yes, people will say its about personality but is it really? 

 

Again it depends. In terms of dating alone, an outgoing personality is likely going to get more dates, not because it’s more attractive, just because outgoing folks tend to like going out and being around people. More opportunity. In terms of relationships, compatible personalities are important between the two people.