I felt neglected so I cheated, what should I do?

[BlissfulIgnorance]

I have a boyfriend who I love very much (yes it sounds stupid but hear me out). It took so long before he committed to me and put the 'label' on it. We were dating for a year before we became official because according to him, I don't deserve a man who couldn't give me what I deserve, and "I deserve so much more." Long story short, he is a very busy man. He works as a navy and his job is literally very demanding of his time and his entire life. He gave me crumbs of whatever was left of the 24 hours in a day. His job burnt him out, got him depressed, and I lost the man I loved. He would shut me out of his life, not speak to me for days, drop my calls, block me when arguments come up, swear, yell, curse, and I can go on forever about the mental and emotional torture. I felt alone and neglected but I chose to stay. I knew that he needed me more than ever even we he was slowly sucking the life out of me because it wasn't always like that. I tried to keep us afloat. 

He had bigger dreams and I helped him to believe in them again. I don't want to take credit for his hardwork but I was the one who pushed him to pursue med school this year. I bought him MCAT books, I got a him a place to study peacefully, I prepared meals, cleaned up his place, did all stuff that loving girlfriends would do. I never expected for anything in return. I guess all I wanted was to drag him out of his hell. All my efforts paid off when he made it to med school and things were finally falling into place, he was back and I couldn't be happier. 

But that was just the beginning of a deeper hell. I had to move abroad for my job. We currently have a 13-hour time difference, he's still in the navy, at the same time on med school because he needs the money for it. I offered to help him financially but he refused. He is a man of pride. Considering all these factors, we barely even talk and when we do, we would just argue. The thing is, he's fell depressed again because he can't focus on his studies. I told him to quit the navy and I would help him every step of the way through med school. I offered him other solutions but he won't accept any. Now, our arguments are worse than ever. He would say really hurtful things, ignore me, not reply for days, he'd disregard my needs, make me feel like a burden, he forgot my birthday, the bare minimum in a relationship was even stripped off but then he'd be sincerely sorry after a while then ask me to stay. 

So I stay.. and I stay and I stay 'til we're both miserable. I just couldn't leave him. How could I leave the man I planned to build my entire life with especially at his lowest? Hence to keep my sanity i had to fill the void in other places. I know I may sound like I'm trying to be the victim but I know what I did was wrong that's why I'm here. I'm not justifying anything, I guess I just I need someone to understand my reasons and tell me what to do next. 

[ExpatInItaly]

What you need to do next is break up. 

This relationship is  not working on any level and you are obviously very unhappy. It's time to do the adult thing and recognize it's not going to get better, and end it. 

[Wiseman2]

19 minutes ago, BlissfulIgnorance said:

. I had to move abroad for my job. We currently have a 13-hour time difference.

Sorry this happened. You're not compatible. You're trying to fix and change him. You have nothing in common and don't seem to respect or care for each other.

Set both yourselves free. Make a clean break and restart your local single life.

But this time don't fix, change or rearrange someone or play mother to them.

[stillafool]

As far as I'm concerned you haven't done anything wrong.  You seemed to be just hanging on to your ex bf and doing everyting you can to get his attention and love.  He's even told you that you deserve better.  At least he's unwilling to take anymore help and money from you.  I think he's also had enough of this relationship and that is why he treats you the way he does.  It sounds like he's ready to pull the plug on the relationship.  You didn't mention anything about the man you cheated on your bf with but if he is showing you he's interested and treating  you well maybe you should give him a chance.