stillwanthimback Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 My husband lives in mess life now....nobody will believe a nice man and a good husband will change like that... Since my maid showed him how to search friends in the internet, he tried and he immediately drop in a relationship with a married woman....he went to China to stay 3 nights with her...after came back, he thinks he is in love with her and he even went back to school to learn Mandarin. He opened his mouth to ask me to leave, he is no longer to love me... They chatted in the yahoo messenge every nights three hours...phoned each other like crazy....I couldn't take it any more....too many depression to live with someone like that...I was presure, crying, hurts, sleepless...hopeless....I was so stupid to move out with nothing... I have a baby girl, she is only 4 years old...she told me more about his secret life..he even has sex with this Indo. maid in front of her.... I consulted a social worker, she went to her school and get the report...she asked me to talk with the police...it maybe abuse child... How can a man has sex with different women..even showing their sexual movement to his own child??? My baby doesn't know what happen, but she knows how he kissed this maid ass. and even showed me how this maid moaning...I am a mother...to hear something like this...it really hurts me.. And I withdraw my sponsorship .... he needs to leave Hong Kong within 3 months, he gets so angry, and hires a lawyer want to divorce with me.. I still love him...he is a good man and good husband in before...what changes him become a animal??? Is he in a mid-life crisis??? I heard from some books, some good husbands while their mid-life crisis, they will be totally change... I don't know how to do...he even doesn't let me see my baby ( he is afraid I know more about his mess life) Please tell me what can I do/what should I do??? Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 Drop this dude immediately. Not next week. Not tomorrow. TODAY. Get your child away from him RIGHT NOW. Go back to the social worker and have her accompany you to the police station so you can file a complaint. Don't wait. Do this RIGHT NOW. Turn off the computer and GO, IMMEDIATELY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillwanthimback Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 I can't.....that is because it maybe bring him into a jail...(Nobody will believe he even a teacher....) For me, I hate him but I love him also deeply... Another problems is IF I report to the police, they may not allow me to keep my baby with me, they will take her out of my life.... :( I am so depress...I know I need to be strong and face all the fact...he doesn't love me, and his action is destroy me and my child... Please tell me how to do is better, I can get my baby back?? Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 My advice still stands. GET AWAY FROM HIM IMMEDIATELY. Link to post Share on other sites
stilllovingGord Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 my husband had a affair with a woman for 3 yrs and left me for her after 20 yrs of marriage...he proceeded to sleep with both of us at the same time then in June of this year moved in with her.I still love him very much and he keeps saying she is everything he doesnt want...he never wanted a divorce now she is puching him too.....she has even taken him from his daughter whom he never sees...can anyone give me advice Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 Girls, time for some tough love. You two are NOT victims here. Dont let yourself be one. Noone made your spouses cheat BUT THEM. They are in full control over their actions and they should be the ones held responsible. I know it's easier to hate the other woman, but be honest here. Could someone have come into your life and make you cheat on your spouses? Noone can make you do anything. And dont believe ANYthing they say to you. I know it's hard to believe the men we loved with all our hearts are lying to us, but that doesnt change the fact that if they lied once by meeing other women, that they arent doing it now. You dont even know what they told the other woman. If he's lying to you, chances are very high that they're lying to them too. The anger should be directed at the spouse and noone else. Go read "Love must be tough". If you truely want your spouses back, it tells you the best chance you have of getting them back. Link to post Share on other sites
stilllovingGord Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 You are right I need to move on and stop the hating....its not healthy for myself or my daughter ty dgirl Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillwanthimback Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 I will try to look for this book "Love must be tough" I bought a lot different books for relationship, break up, an affairs... But my cases is different, they chatted in fornt of me...I checked his e-mails, and I found this China married woman knew everything...just like we have child, we still married...even he let her know he earns 20 times more than her. But for her to have a foreigner boyfriend, can support her money...yes, my husband even sent her money and gifts...both of them just went for it without any shame. And she gets her revenge very quick...he dump her for this Indo. maid, I also get some e-mails for her, she feels so sorry about what she was doing in the past half years... I can let her lives in a hell, as I knew her address and phone number...to let all her friends and relatives know what she was doing... But now even I have a little bit pity her.... What wrong about myself, even I pity someone harmed my family...stole my husband... But this Indo. maid, I won't let her easy...I will send the informations to different countries immigration...and noticed them not to allow her to work as a maid in their countries. She abused child... I know my husband will dump her any way while he feels bore.. Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 Please Step Away From The Husband.run As Far And As Fast As You Can From Him With Your Child. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 stole my husband... The thing is, you are angry at the wrong person. She did not steal your husband. Your husband chose to be unfaithful to you! He is the one who was wrong. He made vows to you. He made promises. And he lied and cheated. Do you think he would be acting any different if you replaced her with someone else? It could be ANY woman in the world, and he'd still be cheating. He's cheating on the gf and now cheating with the maid. This guy is not worth it. You deserve so much better. Focus on YOU. Let karma settle what needs to be settled. Your only job right now is to focus on you and your child. None of these girls or your husband is worth your time thinking about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillwanthimback Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 Thank all of your advises... Today I don't feel so well...I maybe get sick... And I also feel sad nobody takes care me.. To: Stilllovegord... Your husband cheated on you three years?!!!! And you still wait for him...?! I do think you love him very much.... If you don't mind, you can send me e-mail, we can talk, and support each other as we have the same cases...I leave my e-mail to you. Please check. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Leave him you don't need him and get your child away from him !!! How could he do that type of thing in front of your child she is too young to be seeing such things that is vey tramatizing !! I would go and to court and tell them what is going on and get you get a good lawyer and maybe you could get a temporary custudy thing..You should go now and get that child from him he is doing harm to her that is a type of abuse !! How do you know he want try something with her if he doing it in front of her ? Please GET OUT!! Get your child immediately !!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillwanthimback Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 We dated each other 2 years and married 5 years ...I think I know him..but now I know I don't know him....I may be married to a stranger...he changes to someone I never know! I need to get more proof for divorce proceeding..... I sent him e-mail, and asked him to stop his mess life...that is his reply... ******************************************************** I’m not interested in your anger nor in anything negative you say, I really think that you would know yourself not a Big Prosecutor of Hong Kong. ********************************************************* You see...he even never acept what his doings is wrong... Link to post Share on other sites
stilllovingGord Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 stillwanthimback i didnt get you email addy Link to post Share on other sites
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