Will am I Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 7 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: Well I have seen his mother in pictures…. So he can’t possibly bring anybody else ….. She and you will drink a friendly cup of tea. Of course you want to meet the mother of your boyfriend of 18 months! Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 3 minutes ago, BrinnM said: My guess is that he’s still legally married, but separated, and that his wife or a friend of hers sent the message. She’s probably mad at him, and she’s also the most likely “suspect” to have access to his email. They probably still officially share a home, but I’m assuming he’s living with his mom part-time as well. Also my guess. Why the need for the secrecy, that I don’t understand. And, it would be the dishonesty and lack of transparency that causes me to end the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 9 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: Well I have seen his mother in pictures…. So he can’t possibly bring anybody else ….. And yet he won't tell you her last name? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 11 minutes ago, BrinnM said: My guess is that he’s still legally married, but separated, and that his wife or a friend of hers sent the message. She’s probably mad at him, and she’s also the most likely “suspect” to have access to his email. They probably still officially share a home, but I’m assuming he’s living with his mom part-time as well. The person that sent me the email has the last name as his on the email … she even said regards , with her first name and last name … I have tried looking for this person online but can’t find nothing …. I even looked on 192 address but it doesn’t show anyone with that name on that address or even in the UK … the people with that same name and last name only live in America …… I have been away with him for two weeks on some of these trips and not even once somebody called him he only spoke to his mum and I was there ….. oh I had forgotten about this he said to her Gloriousdays says hi and he said his mum said hi too but I didn’t speak to her … Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 11 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: And yet he won't tell you her last name? That’s what I don’t understand.. why not tell me her last name .. I know her first name.. he asked me if I was speaking to his ex gf and he told me that he hates her and he has reported her to the police for harassment… since she also contacted his boss ( according to him ) Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 5 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: he said to her Gloriousdays says hi and he said his mum said hi too but I didn’t speak to her … If that’s the case, why has he not introduced you in the past year and a half? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 1 minute ago, BaileyB said: If that’s the case, why has he not introduced you in the past year and a half? He mentioned once that his mum wanted to meet me but that was it … there was a time when he was sick I said to him give me your address so that I can come and visit and he said okay that’s when he gave me the address but later on he was like …. Can you wait and meet mum over a meal first before coming to the house and I said okay and I never asked him to meet up with her (big mistake )…. Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 7 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: He mentioned once that his mum wanted to meet me Well there you have your invitation. If I had a son and he had been in a relationwhip for 18 months, my wife and I would LOVE to meet the lady in question! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 1 minute ago, Will am I said: Well there you have your invitation. If I had a son and he had been in a relationwhip for 18 months, my wife and I would LOVE to meet the lady in question! That’s true … he said he is coming back this weekend.. he has been in Las Vegas for three weeks …. He said we need to meet and talk face to face …. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 (edited) OP, could it be possible his mum isn't well physically or mentally and that's why he lives with her, taking care of her and why you haven't met her yet? Could their house be in some sort of disarray and he's embarrassed? Life isn't a Disney movie where everything fits perfectly all the time, what's right for one isn't necessarily right for another at any given point in time. As I said my brother didn't feel comfortable bringing his gf around for two years and yes my mom was always after him to do so, but he wasn't ready and I'm from a nice upper middle class family! And they are now happily married. Anyway does he talk about her, does she work, where's his dad? Edited September 1, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: OP, could it be possible his mum isn't well physically or mentally and that's why he lives with her, taking care of her and why you haven't met her yet? Could their house he in some sort of disarray and he's embarrassed? Life isn't a Disney movie where everything fits perfectly all the time, what's right for one isn't necessarily right furcanother. As I said my brother didn't feel comfortable bringing his gf around for two years and yes my mom was always after him to do so, but he wasn't ready and I'm from a nice upper middle class family! Anyway does he talk about her, does she work, where's his dad? Well his mum was working as an accountant until very recently .. she retired very recently … he even sent me her retirement party’s pictures and the cake had her name on it .. oh another thing to add me and him were planning on moving in together in a couple of months and he even asked me for my ring finger size ( I told him I didn’t know and he kept asking me to go and check it ) so that’s why I’m very confused at the moment … him not taking me to his house is definitely a red flag … his dad lives in Germany… he has been there a few times and his mum is remarried to someone else … Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 Ok, so it was the email that was sent to you that contained a name. So whoever sent the email is pretending that she is the wife emailing you? I thought there was someone with his ex girlfriends name on social media that also had his last name? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 (edited) Mentioned before - do a 'reverse email search' it will give you name, phone, address and other info through www.beenverified.com. They offer a one-week free trial. I've done this and the results were startling and informative. I actually discovered the man I had been briefly seeing at that time was once a woman! 😳 Something didn't feel 'quite right' about him which is why I did the search. I highly recommend. Edited September 1, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 (edited) 28 minutes ago, Starswillshine said: Ok, so it was the email that was sent to you that contained a name. So whoever sent the email is pretending that she is the wife emailing you? I thought there was someone with his ex girlfriends name on social media that also had his last name? Yes so the person that sent me the email had a name and last name and the last name is the same as his … they didn’t say they were the wife though they just asked me if I knew that my bf had a wife …. But when I asked my bf he is the one that told me it’s his ex gf With a different name from the email ( but he was telling the truth about her name as I found that they lived together on the same address) and he also mentioned this same ex before the email that was sent to me … the person that I found on social media is his ex that he mentioned to me the one he used to live with .. I haven’t found anyone with the same name and last name as the person that sent me the email …. He said to me that it’s his ex gf the one that is now married that is using a different name to send the email .. is AOL popular in America?,? I had never heard of it until when I received the email … Edited September 1, 2022 by Gloriousdays Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 2 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: AOL popular in America?,? Yes, used to be more popular, but still used by many. Maybe he’s still married to an American and that’s why he’s there right now. Because THREE weeks just Vegas for fun is definitely sus, seriously! Also - You did find that first name and last name when searching through American Facebook accounts, right? Ha! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 24 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Mentioned before - do a 'reverse email search' it will give you name, phone, address and other info through www.beenverified.com. They offer a one-week free trial. I've done this and the results were startling and informative. I actually discovered the man I had been briefly seeing at that time was once a woman! 😳 Something didn't feel 'quite right' about him which is why I did the search. I highly recommend. I did use been verified but nothing came up ( which is frustrating ) I feel like the email was created sorely to send me that email …. I don’t know why but I just feel like that … I don’t get the person though .. why drop such bad news and then disappear like that … Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 1 hour ago, Gloriousdays said: That’s what I don’t understand.. why not tell me her last name .. Because he doesn't want you finding out that's not who is living in his house. He knows you would look her up and find out where she really lives, if you had her full name. And he knows you would discover he is lying. There is zero plausible reason that he can't tell you her last name until he is home. There is no reason to play cloak-and-dagger with very basic information unless he's been lying. He's spinning his wheels now and freaking out because his lies are coming unraveled. I'm really sorry, but I would brace yourself for some painful truths coming your way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 3 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: I did use been verified but nothing came up ( which is frustrating ) I feel like the email was created sorely to send me that email …. I don’t know why but I just feel like that … I don’t get the person though .. why drop such bad news and then disappear like that … Yes, sounds like it was probably just a made up email. Takes no time to do it. And sending bombshells like that, not surprising no one would use their own email. Does he have any social media? Do you have pictures together? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 2 minutes ago, BrinnM said: Yes, used to be more popular, but still used by many. Maybe he’s still married to an American and that’s why he’s there right now. Because THREE weeks just Vegas for fun is definitely sus, seriously! Also - You did find that first name and last name when searching through American Facebook accounts, right? Ha! He video calls me everyday though from Las Vegas….. so where would be this woman?? Yeah I did find people with the same name and last name as on the email through American Facebook accounts … Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: why drop such bad news and then disappear like that … To stir up trouble most likely. 9 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: they just asked me if I knew that my bf had a wife …. Had a wife? Past tense? Ex wife? Hard to know, but possible. If me and if everything had been going well up till receiving this cryptic email, and I trusted my boyfriend, I'd pay it no mind, but keep eyes open which you should always be doing anyway. And go meet his mom and see where he lives when he returns. Edited September 1, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 1 minute ago, Gloriousdays said: He video calls me everyday though from Las Vegas….. so where would be this woman?? And he's been in Vegas for 3 weeks alone? Doing what? He video calls you every day, but surely there are plenty of hours when you're working or sleeping that you two don't talk - especially considering the time different between the UK and Vegas. No? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 8 minutes ago, Gloriousdays said: I did use been verified but nothing came up ( which is frustrating ) I feel like the email was created sorely to send me that email …. I don’t know why but I just feel like that … I don’t get the person though .. why drop such bad news and then disappear like that … She might be feeling bad about not telling you, but at the same time not interested (or too hurt) to speak with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Because he doesn't want you finding out that's not who is living in his house. He knows you would look her up and find out where she really lives, if you had her full name. And he knows you would discover he is lying. There is zero plausible reason that he can't tell you her last name until he is home. There is no reason to play cloak-and-dagger with very basic information unless he's been lying. He's spinning his wheels now and freaking out because his lies are coming unraveled. I'm really sorry, but I would brace yourself for some painful truths coming your way. I will find out the truth soon since he is coming back this weekend .. that’s what I was thinking as well .. why being secretive though with the last name … I wanted her full name for my own investigation and I think he realised that and that’s why he doesn’t want to tell me …..I think he is a liar and soon he is going to get caught in his web of lies … 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 Just now, Gloriousdays said: .I think he is a liar and soon he is going to get caught in his web of lies … I agree. This strange email taken together with the fact that you're essentially a secret in his life, have never been to his house and his own evasive behaviour since...it doesn't add up to an innocent misunderstanding or a vindictive ex trying to ruin his life. If it were only the email and everything else lined up about him, maybe. But it's not only the email. The context here is important and strongly suggests there's plenty he's not telling you. I'm sorry you're going through this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 1, 2022 Author Share Posted September 1, 2022 5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: And he's been in Vegas for 3 weeks alone? Doing what? He video calls you every day, but surely there are plenty of hours when you're working or sleeping that you two don't talk - especially considering the time different between the UK and Vegas. No? That’s true …. I do speak to him for hours though after work …. And then I go to bed … when I’m at work he will he sleeping because it will be night time in Las Vegas ……he has been going to concerts to see artists performing .. he even went to Oragon , Portland where my cousin lives and he met her up for dinner ..he was also in Seattle for two days … Link to post Share on other sites
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