How to greet a woman?

[its_me_123]

Hi there,

I am very new to dating and also on the shy side so I was wondering how I should greet the woman I am meeting? I had a date the other day and we just said hi and started walking, but wasn't sure if I was meant to hug her or anything?

Any suggestions?

Thanks!

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

I had a date the other day and we just said hi and started walking, but wasn't sure if I was meant to hug her or anything?

Follow their lead. If they reach out say, for a handshake or hug then reciprocate.

[basil67]

With regards to handshakes or hugs, I agree that you should follow their lead.   And make sure to have a warm smile

[Wiseman2]

Another key element when using online dating apps is to meet as soon as mutually possible. This avoids building up an impression in your mind or a sense of false intimacy.

For example after a couple of messages suggest continuing the conversation in person over a drink/coffee.

Try not to overshare or give out too much personal info. 

The reason for this is that online dating is a misnomer. It should be "apps that have a collection of people in your area looking to meet someone".

Even the first meeting is not really a date because you don't know this person. Perhaps in the past this would have been called a blind date.

So in summary, meet sooner rather than later and don't overinvest in strangers.

[Alpacalia]

First date hugs are always nice.

At the end of a date, a guy I dated asked before hugging me.

Do what you are comfortable with and don't press your date to do something they are uncomfortable with. If she pulls away, abandon ship.

Friendly, natural, and warm touch is ideal.

Like helping her out of the car, or guiding her through crowded restaurants with your hand.

That kind of thing.

 

[Will am I]

Assuming you meet without extended periods of online contact.

Greeting: a friendly first meet. Show your enthusiasm about meeting this great person. I wouldn’t start with a hug because essentially you’re strangers at this point. Hugging a stranger kind of devaluates the hug. Unless of course she initiates the hug, if she does than you must always accept and return.

A single word “hi” doesn’t reflect a lot of enthusiasm, I’d be more like “hey there! so nice to actually meet you”

After a date gone well: hug! If there’s going to be other things like kissing, all up to her. Follow her lead. But there must be some form of physical contact if you want to express romantic interest and not friend-zone yourself from day one.

And in case of insecurity or doubt: ask. There’s nothing wrong with asking a question like “may I kiss you”. Is expresses a good mix of romantic interest and respect for her boundaries.

 

[Gaeta]

 On a first meeting I usually offer that light double hug but in my case it's cultural. If a man would to offer me his hand to shake on a first meeting I'd be offended lol, I'd prefer he just greets me with a big smile and says something like @Will am I suggested and then follow that with having great manners and a compliment. 

 

 

[glows]

Hi is fine. Just be sincere and genuine. Anything else is transparent and not necessary, imo. Hugs are not welcome either from a personal standpoint and that varies between different individuals. If you get along the conversation will flow naturally. Have fun. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Will am I said:

And in case of insecurity or doubt: ask. There’s nothing wrong with asking a question like “may I kiss you”. Is expresses a good mix of romantic interest and respect for her boundaries.

Agree. This is better than someone being caught off guard and recoiling.

[Will am I]

Actually this topic is extra interesting if you would consider the different cultures that we all come from. My response was from a northern european perspective.

Americans might be more inclined to hugs, latin cultures (southern europe as well as latin america) may prefer kissing the cheek in some situations.

[Amy4love]

 Dates usually goes well if the chemistry is right, you should follow the lead. There are greetings, which are very common in many countries. For example, the handshake. In fact, it may be appropriate at the first meeting. As long as you do it right. A strong handshake is great. Just make sure it’s not too weak, and not too tight. Variants like a high-five or even a fist bump are inappropriate.

The classic handshake is fine, however, if you expect more of the date and have already developed a few feelings, it’s simply too formal. A good alternative is a hug. That’s ok too. But it should be a friendly hug first. A short, heartfelt squeeze. That’s enough. And it shows your date partner that you are pleased about the encounter.

Maybe you are particularly emotional, and have you been looking forward to the date for a long time – Thus, you might tend to kiss at the first greeting. What may work on a date in Berlin, in a trendy neighbourhood with very easy-going, open-minded people, is not necessarily commonplace. So better do without it. Unless the preceding digital contact was particularly intense and familiar.

And another tip for the men: Complimenting the woman during the first greeting is always a good idea. Dedicate the compliment especially to the woman in front of you. Something about her that attracts your attention. And the ice is broken.

[poppyfields]

OP, imo what you "say" isn't as important as your body language and your general vibe when meeting. 

When I met my husband for the first time, neither of us said anything at first, he smiled at me, I smiled back, he led me in, ordered drinks at the bar and it was obvious something was happening.  

Which we both knew just from our body language, our energy and vibe. 

I think traditional greets like hi, hey, nice to meet you, etc are so contrived, theyr're standard greets and are meaningless imo.

Let your body language and  vibe lead the way, and if SHE says hi or nice to meet you, smile in affirmation and lead her to wherever you want things to go. 

Avoid hugs when first meeting. They're too personal and many people are uncomfortable with them, better to be safe than sorry.

Also, best to not treat OLDing like an assembly line.

Think quality over quantity. 

Treating on line dating like an assembly line is why it so often fails imo. .

Be discretionary in who you choose to meet. 

What worked well for me was spending a few days chatting, not ad nauseum and not to create a false intimacy.

But rather to create a "rapport" so when you meet in person, they don't feel so much like a stranger which can feel awkward and uncomfortable  and potentially ruin your chance of actually connecting. 

JMO on that, everyone has their own style of what works for them so find your your own groove and good luck. 

Edited September 4, 2022 by poppyfields

[Lotsgoingon]

Don't worry about this. As you get more experience, you'll develop some gut sense. 

But don't go beyond your own comfort zone. More important is if you really like the way they look, that your face lights up with a smile. 

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, Will am I said:

Actually this topic is extra interesting if you would consider the different cultures that we all come from. My response was from a northern european perspective.

Americans might be more inclined to hugs, latin cultures (southern europe as well as latin america) may prefer kissing the cheek in some situations.

That's true.

Greetings are different across cultures. 

The hand over the heart greeting is common in some parts of the world.

OP as long as you avoid extremes, you'll be in good shape.

Edited September 4, 2022 by Alpacalia

[BrinnM]

I would find a mere “Hi” very cold and uninspiring. If you don’t want to give a brief hug, at least say something along the lines of “so good to finally meet you”, and smile big. 😀

[SingFish]

On 9/3/2022 at 2:55 PM, its_me_123 said:

Hi there,

I am very new to dating and also on the shy side so I was wondering how I should greet the woman I am meeting? I had a date the other day and we just said hi and started walking, but wasn't sure if I was meant to hug her or anything?

Any suggestions?

Thanks!

I really enjoy holding hands! I can tell a lot from little touches. I think it's good we are respectful to each other but everyone likes a date to feel different than a business meeting or interview!