No contact or ignoring

[Beng87]

3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This man is not that into you, but yanks your chain because you let him. 

You have to realize that this isn't going anywhere, and not going to become the relationship you want. You're merely a convenient source of attention or affection when he wants it, but that's it. 

Why have you allowed yourself to be treated like this? 

I have no idea. Just so blindly in love I guess 

[Alpacalia]

Your boyfriend broke up with you and is giving you smack because a man put his hand on your shoulder?

He's totally guilt tripping you.

Run.

 

 

[Wiseman2]

19 hours ago, Beng87 said:

Ok I take it back, he just replied 

 

“ok” 🤣

What is it exactly you would like to see happening? Ignoring and no contact are sort of the same thing.

If you want a relationship with a man, you may have to keep looking for someone who wants what you want.

Try not to play games with this guy. It wastes time you could be spending on finding a better match.

[Beng87]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

What is it exactly you would like to see happening? Ignoring and no contact are sort of the same thing.

If you want a relationship with a man, you may have to keep looking for someone who wants what you want.

Try not to play games with this guy. It wastes time you could be spending on finding a better match.

I think it’s because I know how flakey he is, and has changed his mind about so many things so many time, I guess I’m just thinking and wouldn’t be surprised if he changes his mind.

I doubt it this time, but still wouldn’t suprise me, maybe I’m clinging onto that 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Beng87 said:

I have no idea. Just so blindly in love I guess 

With what, exactly? 

It doesn't sound like he was ever a decent boyfriend. Cold. Dismissive. Confusing. 

 

[stillafool]

Beng is this guy your first boyfriend?

[Beng87]

7 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Beng is this guy your first boyfriend?

No not at all

[Acacia98]

5 hours ago, Beng87 said:

I have no idea. Just so blindly in love I guess 

Beng87, it's not love when you have to suffer humiliation by the other person to be with him.

[Despin]

Your ex-boyfriend is enjoying the power trip and ego boost that goes with being able to control the feelings and actions of another person.

 

[Beng87]

16 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Oh, sorry Beng, you're right.

I am 32 m he is 25 m

 

Last night we were talking white freely, and having a laugh. As we had to talk about a work thing. 

the last message I sent 12 hours ago he hasn’t even opened? Even though he’s posted on his story  and seen mine?

he again goes from one extreme to the other 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Beng87 said:

he again goes from one extreme to the other 

And you continue to waste your time communicating with him. 

Part of the problem is you. You allow him to toy with you, even though you know how he is. What do you expect is going to be the end result of this? 

 

[Beng87]

5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

And you continue to waste your time communicating with him. 

Part of the problem is you. You allow him to toy with you, even though you know how he is. What do you expect is going to be the end result of this? 

 

Am I being completely insane here,

 

my ex’s snap score keeps going up and up. 

 

At the same time, another gay guy from work who I’m sure has a bf. Is sitting taking snaps at work when he finsihed!

are they snapping each other? Or am

i being completly insane? Cause I know they have each other on snap.

 

but they could litteraly be snapping anyone right? I’m driving myself insane 

[basil67]

Yes, you are driving yourself insane.  He's your ex!  What he does with his social media is none of your business.  

It sounds like you work together and must have some contact, but block him from all social media so that you don't know what he's doing.

Edited September 10, 2022 by basil67

[Beng87]

23 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Yes, you are driving yourself insane.  He's your ex!  What he does with his social media is none of your business.  

It sounds like you work together and must have some contact, but block him from all social media so that you don't know what he's doing.

Do you think I’m right though? This guy I’m talking about still had a photo of him and his boyfriend on his insta, surely if they weren’t together that wouldn’t still be his most current picture on insta? 

[basil67]

44 minutes ago, Beng87 said:

Do you think I’m right though? This guy I’m talking about still had a photo of him and his boyfriend on his insta, surely if they weren’t together that wouldn’t still be his most current picture on insta? 

Can I remind you that you already acknowledged that you're being completely insane?

No that he's no longer your boyfriend, who he's messaging is none of your business.  Same for your gay mate.  And honestly, it's most likely that your ex is sending sexy instas with some other new girl

Edited September 10, 2022 by basil67

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, Beng87 said:

I’m driving myself insane 

Exactly. You're now dreaming up wild theories. You now think your ex is potentially having a fling with a gay man? Girl. I mean this with all due respect, but get a grip here. 

What about this? Quoting myself because you didn't acknowledge this:
 

10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What do you expect is going to be the end result of this? 

 

Edited September 10, 2022 by ExpatInItaly

[Beng87]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Exactly. You're now dreaming up wild theories. You now think your ex is potentially having a fling with a gay man? Girl. I mean this with all due respect, but get a grip here. 

What about this? Quoting myself because you didn't acknowledge this:
 

 

There’s been a misunderstanding we are all men haha. 
 

but maybe I’m still crazy. 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Beng87 said:

 if they weren’t together that wouldn’t still be his most current picture on insta? 

Don't chase uninterested men. It's really that simple.

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, Beng87 said:

There’s been a misunderstanding we are all men haha. 
 

but maybe I’m still crazy. 

Ah, got it. 

Yes, you're still driving yourself crazy. You two are broken up. You need to delete him from your socials. This isn't healthy behaviour for you. You two are not going to wind up together so there's no sense in continuing to stick your hand in the fire. 

[Beng87]

On 9/10/2022 at 1:15 PM, ExpatInItaly said:

Ah, got it. 

Yes, you're still driving yourself crazy. You two are broken up. You need to delete him from your socials. This isn't healthy behaviour for you. You two are not going to wind up together so there's no sense in continuing to stick your hand in the fire. 

Weird update on this one.

I’ve been putting my usual things up on insta etc,  like polls about which movies to watch etc

he has voted on every single one of them…

I put a poll up today about whether somethings are better said or left unsaid…..he voted said.

So I popped up (we haven’t spoken like a week) and said well should I said it then?

 

and he said “you need to stop aiming your stories at me” and then said no I don’t want to hear it”

so he’s voted say it again to me for what reason? 

none of my stories have been aimed at him. I could say his were aimed at me? As three of his stories this week have been wearing shirts of mine he has!? And talking about having to get the bus into town etc (cause I’m not there to do it for him now”

he was very nice last time we spoke we just agreed that we wouldn’t really talk for now as I needed time to get past it. 
 

Then tonight he was a complete a**h*** I had only popped up really to ask whether would ever think about it, and also to ask if trainers that I had ordered him when we were still together fitted ok, (£150) to which he just blanked me. 

 

not sure what his game is.

 

why interact with my insta and keep me on it and other socials if you hate me so much, 

 

 

 

 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Beng87 said:

why interact with my insta and keep me on it and other socials if you hate me so much, 

This question is pointless because even if you did know why, you can't change anything about it anyway

It's far better to focus on yourself and your own choices: If his reactions on insta bother you so much, why do you choose to allow him access to your profile?   And why on earth are you still asking questions about the relationship and following up on trainers?   You are holding back your own recovery from this relationship.

Edited September 23, 2022 by basil67

[Beng87]

19 minutes ago, basil67 said:

This question is pointless because even if you did know why, you can't change anything about it anyway

It's far better to focus on yourself and your own choices: If his reactions on insta bother you so much, why do you choose to allow him access to your profile?   And why on earth are you still asking questions about the relationship and following up on trainers?   You are holding back your own recovery from this relationship.

Guess I’m clinging onto hope.

 

I don’t get what his end game is, why he does what he does. He obviously enjoyed playing with my feelings.

I do wanna move on it’s just hard

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Beng87 said:

I do wanna move on it’s just hard

Ok.  Start with a list of pros and cons about this guy.  Tell us what you loved about him and write down all the ways he made a terrible partner.   Then see which list is longer and by how much

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Beng87 said:

I do wanna move on it’s just hard

Then start by deleting him from your social media. 

The interactions on there are meaningless. 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Beng87 said:

Then tonight he was a complete a**h*** I had only popped up really to ask whether would ever think about it, 

He should really have deleted and blocked you rather than engage. However it's not too late for you to delete and block him. Why not enjoy your social media without all this drama and background noise about polls and what he thinks, trying to chase him, etc.? 

When you let go, you'll have time to date guys who are into you and you'll feel better.

Edited September 23, 2022 by Wiseman2