stillafool Posted October 9, 2022 Share Posted October 9, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, HazelBliss said: Everything added up, she doesnt know how to be a friend and is very selfish and hypocritical. This friendship is certainly one-sided and I don't feel comfortable moving forward. Well it's obvious this friendship has run it's course because of how you talk here about her. I'm surprised to see you say "she's cool" when it's clear you don't feel that way about her. I agree with Alpacalia, stop trying to befriend her and just hang with your other friends you get along with. Edited October 9, 2022 by stillafool 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2022 Share Posted October 10, 2022 On 10/9/2022 at 5:17 AM, HazelBliss said: BUT JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO, she ranted about her lesbian experience and gave explicit detail and yesterday, sent me a photo of her at the gym.. So, in other words, you have continued to stay in touch with her despite you saying you were over this friendship. You are your own worst enemy here. It is unclear why you continued contact of any kind with her after the last episode, but there must be something you are getting out of this or you would have stopped replying to her a while ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HazelBliss Posted October 10, 2022 Author Share Posted October 10, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: So, in other words, you have continued to stay in touch with her despite you saying you were over this friendship. You are your own worst enemy here. It is unclear why you continued contact of any kind with her after the last episode, but there must be something you are getting out of this or you would have stopped replying to her a while ago. She didn't steal my money, physically or verbally abuse me, or screw my man lol. I give people chances if its reasonable. I noticed a pattern, called her out on it recently as mentioned.. Thee End. There's really nothing more to discuss here. Its over with. Edited October 10, 2022 by HazelBliss Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 10, 2022 Share Posted October 10, 2022 18 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: She didn't steal my money, physically or verbally abuse me, or screw my man lol. I give people chances if its reasonable. I noticed a pattern, called her out on it recently as mentioned.. Thee End. There's really nothing more to discuss here. Its over with. Well good. I'm glad that friendship is finally behind you. Onwards and upwards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 6 hours ago, HazelBliss said: She didn't steal my money, physically or verbally abuse me, or screw my man lol. I give people chances if its reasonable. I noticed a pattern, called her out on it recently as mentioned.. Thee End. There's really nothing more to discuss here. Its over with. It doesn't need to be that extreme to opt out of a friendship. You listed several red flags, and several indicators that this woman was not a decent friend who deserved a reasonable chance again. And then again. It's good that you have finally called off this friendship, and hopefully you will let go sooner in the future. You can and should firm up your boundaries with people like her. Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: It doesn't need to be that extreme to opt out of a friendship. Everybody’s tolerance level is different. I’ve had friends who needed lots of support at times, and I got little to nothing in return, because they just had nothing to offer. I still supported them, because I generally want to be a good friend. Sure, I don’t let anybody walk all over me, but I’m losing nothing by putting somebody’s priorities over mine for a limited (or extended, depends) period of time, if they are apparently struggling. I think OP tried for a while, hoping it was a bad phase, and came to the conclusion that her friend’s (permanently negative & jealous) personality doesn’t match hers. It’s a learning curve, but not everybody is categorically bad just because they act bad sometimes. You never know what other people are going through, and I applaud OP for trying to resolve this (until she had enough). A little empathy goes a long way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 6 minutes ago, BrinnM said: Everybody’s tolerance level is different Well that's just it, she really isn't tolerating this friend or she wouldn't continue to make these threads about her she would just let it roll off her back. This friend doesn't act as if she needs support. She is instead jealous of and rude to OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 11 minutes ago, stillafool said: Well that's just it, she really isn't tolerating this friend or she wouldn't continue to make these threads about her she would just let it roll off her back. This friend doesn't act as if she needs support. She is instead jealous of and rude to OP. Yes I can see that and good for her but at least she thought about it for a while before not giving her yet another chance. (Rather than cutting her off right away.) I think that shows she cares. Also good for her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HazelBliss Posted October 11, 2022 Author Share Posted October 11, 2022 18 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: It doesn't need to be that extreme to opt out of a friendship. You listed several red flags, and several indicators that this woman was not a decent friend who deserved a reasonable chance again. And then again. It's good that you have finally called off this friendship, and hopefully you will let go sooner in the future. You can and should firm up your boundaries with people like her. Pretty much.. boundaries will be set. I don’t have the energy for fake friends at this point. These new friends are something else and it’s hard to come across genuine people these days. Link to post Share on other sites
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