No idea what to do.

[Allikat]

Hey, I am new here and need some advice. So I just went through a pretty bad divorce almost 2 years ago. I was a stay at home mom for the last 10 years with no prior college degree. When my husband and I broke up, about 4 months later I met a great guy. I do have 2 daughters from the previous marriage a 5 and almost 8 year old. So, this great guy helped me get on my feet. He got me an apartment because I wasn’t making much money. He would give me rent money which was so sweet. I didn’t ask him he just offered to help me and my girls. We have been dating now for a year and a half and he recently got us a nice house for us all to live in. I have a job and make about 2k a month which is nothing because I live in CA. My bf makes about 17k a month. He is an executive at a company. Well since moving in, he started saying that I owe him stuff because we are living in the house he bought rent free. He said anytime he wants sex I need to open my legs, I have been paying for all the groceries and gas. It’s like he flipped a switch on me. I feel like he started manipulating me. He said If I don’t do something when he wants it, he will kick me and my girls out. I make 2k a month and rent at just a studio apartment where I live is around $2500. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck. And it hurts more knowing he would throw my babies out just like that! I have no family here because I moved to CA for my ex. I don’t know any friends in this new location. Also, my parents can’t help. My dad was sexually abusive to me growing up so I no longer speak to him and he controls my mom so if he tells her not to call me she won’t. Bad I know. Can someone give me good advice of what to do? I feel like I am drowning in a deep ocean and can’t get out.

[Wiseman2]

Research abusive relationships. They start off with too-good-to-be-true whirlwind romances. Then when you're in too deep, they show their true nature. Contact social services for help with housing, food stamps, healthcare for you and your children. You can also describe your situation to a domestic abuse agency and see if they can help. Without telling him, save money, get help from government agencies, faith-based charities and plan your escape.

[stillafool]

This is what happens when you let another person pay your way.  You are not his wife and those are not his kids so he just flipped the script on you.  You would have been better off to stay single, work and have your children's father pay his share of their support.  It's not to late to move out and find a way to make it without a man.

[Weezy1973]

1 hour ago, Allikat said:

Can someone give me good advice of what to do? I feel like I am drowning in a deep ocean and can’t get out.

Are there shelters for abused women where you live? You have to look into community supports and leave as fast as you can. 

[LynneVicious]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

This is what happens when you let another person pay your way.  You are not his wife and those are not his kids so he just flipped the script on you.  You would have been better off to stay single, work and have your children's father pay his share of their support.  It's not to late to move out and find a way to make it without a man.

Echoing what stillafool said. 
 

this situation isn’t going to get better. At all. 

are you getting support from your children father? Alimony or child support? If not, apply right now. Then gather any support you can from any friends or family and leave him. That is terribly abusive. Is your name on the deed to the house as well?

[stillafool]

5 hours ago, Allikat said:

I have no family here because I moved to CA for my ex. I don’t know any friends in this new location. Also, my parents can’t help. My dad was sexually abusive to me growing up so I no longer speak to him and he controls my mom so if he tells her not to call me she won’t.

I'm so sorry you were sexually abused by your dad.  I know you don't want to move where your dad lives but it might be better to move back to that area because CA is so expensive.  Talk to your mom maybe she has changed and can help you in some way where you won't have to live with them.  Do you have siblings, cousins there?  You're going to have to make a major change in order to leave your situation and become independent.  Others have done it and you can too.  Your kids dad will have to pay child support, so file it you haven't already as that will help a lot.

[ShyViolet]

Very tough situation but you need to put together a plan to get you and your kids OUT of that house as soon as possible.  You are in an abusive situation.  Maybe look for a better job so you can afford your own apartment.  Or move to a lower-cost area.  

[ShyViolet]

7 hours ago, Allikat said:

 And it hurts more knowing he would throw my babies out just like that!

He is not their father and it's not his responsibility to support them.  You shouldn't be living with him in the first place.